"I"m not sure you can make it."
"Oh,Logan..." She wanted to be braver, but it was a cry of distress.
"Listen." His voice was a soothing caress. "Everything is normal. The baby"s in the right position. You are
completely effaced. And you are fully dilated. Do you know what that means?"
"Ready to push, right? But how is that possible?"
"When it comes to having babies, almost anything is possible. And I don"t think it"s a good idea to ask
you to try and hold back for the time it will take to get you to the hospital." He picked up the soap again and began scrubbing his hands for the second time. "You might succeed, but you could slow things down and only make it more difficult in the end. Or you might not succeed. And you"d end up having the baby on the side of the road.It"s better, I think, if we stay here-at least till help arrives."
She"d been sweating a moment ago, now she was shivering all of a sudden, shaking all over. Logangrabbed a towel, dried his hands and turned on the s.p.a.ce heater in the corner by the door. Then he came back and began pulling towels off the shelf. He knelt, wrapped them around her, and rubbed at her shoulders to get the circulation going. "Better?" "A little." "Where"s the phone number for your doctor-and the one for the main house?" She told him. He turned for the door. Absolute terror gripped her. "Oh, G.o.d, Logan. Don"t go..." "I"ll be right back. It won"t be three minutes, I swear to you. And maybe I"ll get lucky and get through on the cell phone." She bit her lip and tasted blood-but she kept her mouth shut when he left her. A minute pa.s.sed. She knew because she counted the seconds. And then she didn"t count anymore because the next contraction claimed her. She rose onto her haunches, grabbed the sides of the tub again and rode it as it crested and finally waned. ThenLoganwas kneeling beside her, wrapping a blanket around her. "I got through. They"re sending an ambulance. Forty-five minutes tops, they said. And Tess will be here in ten with the things we"re going to need." He bent over her. "Do you want to get out of the tub?"
She stared at his lips, wondering why he was asking her that. "I don"t..."
He smiled at her rea.s.suringly and stroked the side of her face. His hand felt so good, so solid, warm and
real. "This is a pretty big tub. You could just stay here, if you want, until Tess arrives with the things to get
the bed ready."
She shivered some more, but not as badly as before. The little room was getting warmer. "I"d like ... to walk for a bit."
"Sounds good." He helped her from the tub. Lacey clutched the blanket around her and they trudged back and forth in the short s.p.a.ce between the tub and the door-until another contraction doubled her over.
Loganwent down to the floor with her again. He whispered to her to breathe, not to push yet, just to wait a little while. She groaned and tried to do what he said, to hold back. At the same time, she wanted to shove him away, to shout at him that she was the one doing this and she"d push if she wanted to.
By the time the contraction pa.s.sed, she was sweating again. She threw off the blanket and asked for a clean sleep shirt.
"Where?"
"Top bureau drawer."
He left her for the second time. She didn"t mind as much as before. Some change had come over her.
Some strange, calm feeling. She would do this. She would get through this. She-and her baby-would be fine.
"Tess is here,"Logansaid when he came back. Lacey was kneeling on the rug again then, her forehead
against the rim of the sink basin. The only response she could give him right then was a groan.
He waited for the contraction to ease, then helped her up. "Here." He settled the shirt over her head and she put her arms through the sleeves. "Tess is getting the bed ready and making the fire."
"Don"t need ... the fire. I"m sweating. Can"t you see?"
He smiled and got a washcloth and wet it with cool water.
She sighed when he wiped her face with it. "Heaven..."
Or it was, for a few too-brief moments. Then another contraction struck. She got through it, and then
two more after that, relaxing into them as if they were waves-waves that rolled in, rolled through her, then rolled away. They didn"t seem to hurt so much as before, though in a way they felt stronger, more focused, more purposeful, somehow.
Finally, Tess stuck her head in the bathroom door. "All ready."
"Then let"s go,"Logansaid.
They went into the cabin, where Tess had removed the curtain that separated the sleeping nook from the
rest of the room. The bed had only a white sheet on it, and a number of pillows. There was a stack of towels and one of the receiving blankets on the edge of the bed and a basin of water on a chair. When Lacey crawled onto the bed, the sheet crackled. Tess had thought to put plastic-a tablecloth or a shower curtain, probably-between the mattress and the sheet. She helped Lacey to arrange the pillows against the headboard, so she could lie in a semi-sitting position, asLoganwent to wash his hands again.
"Thirsty?" Tess smiled at her.
Lacey nodded. Tess had a full pitcher of water right by the bed. She filled a gla.s.s and Lacey sipped.
ThenLogancame back and examined her again.
She looked at his dark head between her spread thighs and couldn"t help remarking, "I feel so utterly
demure."
He glanced up and winked at her. "Always have been."
She thought, I have never loved you so much as I do at this moment.
"Ready to push," he said.
Lacey grunted. "This is news?"
He and Tess both chuckled, but Lacey hardly noticed. She felt the contraction coming. And she
wrapped her hands around her thighs and bore down.
"Do what you feel,"Logansaid softly. "Bear down until you can"t hold your breath any longer. Then take
in another one ... and bear down again. Let it go, let it happen."
She let out a loud moan. "Logan, I can do this. Just let me..."
He said something gentle in reply. But she didn"t really hear it. She had a job to do and, miraculously,
she knew how to do it. She sucked in a giant breath and bore down, groaning without shame. When she
ran out of breath, she sucked in more and bore down again.
She felt strong, and sure. It wasn"t that bad. It wasn"t bad at all. And between contractions, she actually rested, with Logan and Tess attending her, letting her wet her lips with cool water, rubbing her back and neck when she would allow that, pressing damp cloths to her sweating brow and the back of her neck.
When the contractions came, she heard them talking, heard it when Tess cried, "There it is. The baby"s
head. I can see it."
But Tess-and Logan, too-seemed far away to her. The world to her was the hard fist of her contractions, the rising of her uterus and then the bearing down.
"Scoot down now,"Logansaid, during one of the blessed moments when her body allowed her to rest. They had put a pair of chairs at the end of the bed. Lacey moved down to them.Loganinstructed her to brace her feet, one on each chair. Tess set a basin between the chairs and tucked pillows at Lacey"s back and shoulders to help her stay in the most effective position to push the baby out.
When the next contraction hit,Logansaid, "This is it. Easy. Pant. Blow. Don"t push too hard..."
Lacey made a deep, growling sound. The pressure became almost unbearably intense as her body gave
to let the head emerge. Tess said, "Oh!" in a voice full of wonder. Loganhad his hands down there, applying a gentle counter-pressure. "Slow," he said, "careful, not too fast..." Seconds later, the intense pressure eased. "The head is out,"Logansaid. Lacey looked down at the red, smashed-looking thing between her legs. "Oh, dear Lord. Is it all right?" "It"s fine,"Logansaid. "The baby"s fine. And you are fine. We have no tearing. No tearing at all." His hands worked at the sides of the squashed nose and downward, gently stroking, over the tiny, ugly chin, and the wrinkled throat. Fluid dribbled from the baby"s mouth and nose.
"There,"Logansaid.
"There what?" Lacey demanded.
"That should clear out any mucus that might be obstructing the airways. Now we"re ready to let those shoulders out. Are you ready to push again?"
Lacey panted and nodded.
He cradled the baby"s head, oh so gently, in his two strong hands. "Okay, push now, push..." She pushed and he lifted the head. "There," he said, "Yes. The lower shoulder is free..."
After that, it was over in less than a minute. Baby and fluids gushed out in a rush. She heard a cry-her baby"s cry.
"It"s a girl,"Logansaid. "A beautiful, little girl."
* * * Logandidn"t cut the umbilical cord. He said he would leave that for theEMTs , who would have the proper equipment. He wiped most of the blood and fluids from the body of the squirming baby, examining her as he did it, and then p.r.o.nounced her "a perfect ten."
Tess helped Lacey to scoot back up onto the bed, where she could rest, at last, fully on her back. Lacey pulled up her sleep shirt andLogangave her the ugly, wonderful baby tolay on her bare breast. Lacey looked down at the tiny, whining creature with the slightly pointy head, still connected to her body by the pulsing cord, and knew that her life was unutterably changed. Loganwas bending over them both. And Tess had made herself scarce, somewhere over by the sink. Lacey spent a moment touching her baby, whispering to her, stroking her warm, mottled skin. Then from the little one, she reached up and touched the side ofLogan"s face.
At her breast, her baby rooted fitfully. Lacey tried to help her find the nipple, but she didn"t quite manage to latch on and stay there.
"She"ll learn,"Logansaid.
"I want to call her Margaret," Lacey told him. "For my mother." She laughed, and then groaned a little, as a mild contraction squeezed her tired abdomen. "My mother was a wonderful woman. And I know that for a few years there, I made her life a living h.e.l.l. Maybe she"ll look down from heaven and see this little angel and be glad she had me, after all."
"I think she"s glad,"Logansaid. "In fact, I know it. Then he murmured, "Margaret," in a musing tone. He
nodded. "I like it." "Andyour mother...?" she asked. "What was her name?"Logan"s mother had died when he was sixmonths old. His father, lost to a first heart attack about five years ago, had raised him alone.