We all screamed with laughter.
"Love as a weapon," said Arsinoe. I knew what she was thinking: With my boks, it is a weapon open to me. With my boks, it is a weapon open to me.
"That is one we Ptolemies have never employed," Father said. "Strange, when we"ve exploited all the others."
"Perhaps none of us were very lovable," I suggested. "Nonsense!" said Father.
Time pa.s.sed; Father stayed on his throne; the Romans continued their bickering amongst themselves, which diverted their attention. There were many ceremonial occasions to keep us busy, in addition to the real, behind-the-scenes work.
The Alexandrians wished to dedicate a newly laid-out precinct to us--a park that included plantings, statuary, and pools on the outskirts of the city. We attended in full royal regalia, presented by Father for the occasion, human statues in the midst of the stone ones. I was seventeen then, becoming used to such ceremonies.
But on this day two things were different. The inscription--dictated by Father--carved on the stone called us all "Our Lords and Greatest G.o.ds." So we were all G.o.ds now, not just the ruler? He stood proudly as the stone was exhibited and the startling words recited.
"O living G.o.ds, and G.o.ddesses, we throw ourselves at your blessed feet--" the magistrate was saying. One by one citizens came and bent their heads before us, then knelt. I looked down and saw people shaking, as if they were afraid of inhaling some deadly, divine mist. Who could know how much playacting went into it, or how much they were overtaken by the moment?
And then Father spoke, saying, "Today my children, the G.o.ds, a.s.sume a new t.i.tle: Philadelphoi, Brother-and-Sister-Loving. May they be locked together in the love that binds those who share the same blood."
Standing shoulder to shoulder with my siblings, I knew it could never be. But it was touching that Father wished it so.
Afterward we gathered in Father"s private dining chamber to seal the ceremony with a meal. Arsinoe was the first to fling off her gold robe: p.r.o.nouncing it too heavy to drag around, she let it fall in a crumpled heap.
"Should not the weight of gold sit lightly on a G.o.ddess"s shoulders?" I teased her. Underneath it she was wearing a thin blue gown that duplicated the blue of her eyes.
She merely shrugged. Either she felt no different, or she had always a.s.sumed G.o.dhood for herself.
Father took his place at the head of our family. He looked tired, as if he should be the one to find the heavy robes oppressive. It was only then that I saw the weariness in him; suddenly he seemed much older.
He took up an agate cup and stared at it moodily as he motioned for wine. "This cup came from our ancestral homeland," he said. "Macedonia. I wish you to remember that we started out drinking from stone cups, even though we have ended surrounded by gold." He took a sip. Then another.
"Did the ceremony please you?" he asked.
We all nodded dutifully.
"Surprise you?"
"Yes. Why did you bestow the two new t.i.tles?" I finally asked, since no one else seemed willing to talk.
"Because I wish you all to be treated as sacrosanct, by each other as well as by outsiders, after I am gone--"
Was he just being foresighted and tidy, or was he aware of a reason to hurry?
"Gone where?" asked the smallest Ptolemy, perched on his stool--it was padded and studded with gems, but it was a stool nonetheless--and leaning on his elbows.
"After he"s dead," said his brother, coldly, the nine-year-old realist.
Arsinoe kept chewing languidly on an onion stalk, such was the warmth of our little family. "Oh," she finally said.
"It is kind of you to think so far ahead," I said. "But surely that is not of immediate concern." I meant it as a question. But he chose not to answer it.
"A good ruler must take precautions. Now, I wish to inform you about my will. I have dispatched a copy to Rome, since they have such an . . . interest in our affairs, proclaiming themselves guardians of our welfare. It might give offense if I did not. And there is already a precedent for it." He took several sips of the wine, each one closer to a gulp.
"One copy remains here," he continued. "That, too, is a precaution. Wills can be altered, lost. . . and to offset that, you must hear my provisions from my own mouth."
I noticed that Arsinoe had stopped chewing and was sitting up straighter.
"Surely it will come as no surprise to you that Cleopatra will succeed me," he said. He turned toward me with a smile. "She is the oldest, and has been trained for the station." But his eyes said more; they said, And she is the child of my heart, the one I choose above all others. And she is the child of my heart, the one I choose above all others.
I did not look at Arsinoe, but I knew that she was sullen.
"With her as co-regent will be her first brother, Ptolemy. In due time they must marry, as is the custom."
Both boys giggled, as if they found it all silly and odious. Well, it was odious, but too serious to be silly.
"Father," I said, "perhaps that custom should be allowed to lapse."
He shook his head, sadly. "Ending it would bring more trouble than observing it. Every fortune hunter of a prince would converge on our sh.o.r.es. It would be like one of the old myths, where suitors hung about, being tested by the father or the G.o.ds, having to perform impossible feats--I have other things to do than to preside over contests for your hand."
"I always wondered why the suitors came and risked themselves in the stories," said Arsinoe. "The rejected ones always got killed."
Father laughed. "Princesses exert a deadly lure."
After the meal was over, Father asked me to remain with him. The others did not linger; the scowling Arsinoe picked up her robe and dragged it scornfully behind her as she left, as if to show that she disdained Father"s gifts, since he did not offer her the highest one.
"Now, my child," he said, as he took his seat on a cushioned bench beside me, with a fine view of the harbor, "there is something else."
I had sensed that there must be. "Yes?"
"I think it would be wise to a.s.sociate you in ruling with me now," he said.
"In ceremonies? But we already--"
"No, to elevate you formally to co-regency. To proclaim you Queen."
Queen . . . now? It seemed toe wonderful--to taste the joys without having to swallow the sorrow of Father"s loss at the same time. "I am touched by the honor you offer me," I finally said.
"There will be another ceremony soon, then," he said. He gave a cough, then another, and I knew then that these arrangements were not premature.
"Father, please don"t make me marry my brother!" I must say it now. "He"s a whining little tattletale! And he will grow up to be something worse!"
But the King was not to be dissuaded, even by me. He shook his head. "You are fortunate I don"t just skip over you and name him as heir. It is unprecedented for the Queen to be first ruler."
"You wouldn"t dare." But I said it affectionately, not angrily. I leaned my head on his shoulder, thinking how seldom I touched, or was touched, by anyone. Even normal human contact was shunned in our family.
He sighed, then permitted himself to pat my head. "No, probably not. You are too strong-willed to be pushed aside. That"s good."
"I don"t like your minister Pothinus," I felt obligated to tell him. "Perhaps you should replace him."
"Ah," he said. "One strong-willed person to keep another in check." He could be as stubborn as I--which is probably where I got it.
"I don"t like him," I repeated. "He"s untrustworthy." The worst trait I could think of.
"I plan to make him head of the Regency Council."
"I don"t need a Regency Council. I am already a grown woman."
"You are seventeen, and your future co-ruler, dear little Ptolemy, is only nine. Should I die tonight, he he would need a Regency Council." would need a Regency Council."
"Must you make it as disagreeable as he is?"
Father sighed. "You weary me! Be happy! Stop arguing! Learn to like Pothinus!" He paused. "I plan to live so long Ptolemy won"t need a Regency Council, but a nurse for his old age!" He coughed again, and I took his hand.
The first time I stood beside Father in robes of state, and heard the fateful words Queen Cleopatra, Lady of the Two lands, Queen Cleopatra, Lady of the Two lands, I felt not as if a weight were laid on me but a hitherto unknown strength and readiness miraculously conferred. Whatever the task would be, this mysterious power would graciously be granted me to meet it. Nothing I had read or heard had hinted at this transformation, so it came as an unexpected gift. I felt not as if a weight were laid on me but a hitherto unknown strength and readiness miraculously conferred. Whatever the task would be, this mysterious power would graciously be granted me to meet it. Nothing I had read or heard had hinted at this transformation, so it came as an unexpected gift.
In the old tales, to question a gift too closely meant the G.o.ds could revoke it; it bespoke ingrat.i.tude and disbelief. And so I accepted it with all my heart, trustingly.
In the thirtieth year of Ptolemy the thirtieth year of Ptolemy A Auletes which is the first year of Cleopatra . . . So it began, as the G.o.ds would have it. So it began, as the G.o.ds would have it.
Chapter 9.
In the late winter of the next year, when the gales had quit lashing the sea and the waves did not dash quite so high against the base of the Lighthouse, I was spending a great deal of time reading poetry--both the old Egyptian poetry and Greek. I had interested myself in learning the Egyptian language, and I told myself that was why I was reading the poetry, but that was not strictly true. I was reading it because it concerned love, and I was nearly eighteen years old.
The kisses of my beloved are on the other bank of the river; a branch of the stream floweth between us, a crocodile lurketh on the sandbank. But I step down into the water and plunge into the flood. My courage is great in the waters, the waves are as solid ground under my feet. my feet. Love of her lendeth me strength. Ah! She hath given me a spell for the waters. Love of her lendeth me strength. Ah! She hath given me a spell for the waters.
I would read the poetry late at night, when my attendants had left me and only the oil lamp kept me company. Then the poetry felt different from the way it did when I went over it with my tutor. In lessons I paid great attention to my translation, and to verb forms. Now, by myself, I could exchange all that and feel the faint, humming thrill of the words themselves.
"Oh! Were I but her slave, following her footsteps. Ah! Then should I joy in seeing the forms of all her limbs."
I ran my hand along my leg, wondering how it would appear to someone else. To a young man. I stroked it with sweet-scented oil, feeling the long muscles under the skin.
"Love to thee fills my utmost being, as wine pervades water, as fragrance pervades resin, as sap mingles itself with liquid. And thou, thou hastenest to see thy beloved as a steed rusheth to the field of battle."
I shivered. Such feelings seemed close to divinity, to madness.
I put away the scroll. There were more poems there, but I would save them for another night.
I was restless. The poems had made me so; I should be ready to lie down, and instead I paced the chamber. The sea outside was loud tonight, and I could hear the long, mournful sounds of the waves dashing against the rocks, then sliding away. Again. And again.
And then, far away, a sound of music, of pipes and voices. It seemed to be coming from the east, but that way lay only the sea. It grew a little louder, and now there was no mistaking it for anything besides human instruments and exquisite voices. Was it in the palace.7 Now it sounded as if it were coming from under the ground, directly beneath the building. It swelled louder, then pa.s.sed by, wafted away, faded. I lay down, hearing its last faint strains. I slept. Now it sounded as if it were coming from under the ground, directly beneath the building. It swelled louder, then pa.s.sed by, wafted away, faded. I lay down, hearing its last faint strains. I slept.
The next morning, early, they awakened me. The King was dead. He had died during the night. And I knew then what music I had heard. It was the G.o.d Dionysus, playing his pipes, come to the palace to take his devotee to himself.
I arose. Father dead! Only yesterday I had seen him, and he had seemed in fine spirits, although his health was obviously delicate. But he had not been ill. Father dead! And I had left him without a word of good-bye. We had bade only an ordinary good-night. We were cheated; we always bid farewell after the simplest supper, and is it right to send those we love off on the greatest journey of all without a special word?
I asked to see him. He was lying on his bed, eyes closed, looking asleep. His parting had not been violent; he had gone gladly with Dionysus.
"He must be prepared for the Monument," I said. There he would sleep surrounded by the kings of his line, near where Alexander lay. O to have to make these heavy plans!
"The orders are already given," said a distinctive voice behind me. Pothinus.
"I am the one who should issue the orders," I said. "I am Queen."
"Co-ruler, along with my charge, the most divine Ptolemy the Thirteenth." He enunciated each word deliberately. "Queens do not attend to ordinary details."
"Queens that do not attend to ordinary details soon find themselves ignorant of the larger ones." I glared at him. So here we were, so soon, crossing swords. "You may attend to the details of the announcement of the King"s death and my coronation."
"Your and Ptolemy the Thirteenth"s coronation."
This was going to be wearisome. "Yes." I let him win that point. "Please let it be as soon as possible. We will have to address the people from the steps of the Temple of Serapis, and then be crowned according to Ptolemaic rites. Then I would like to be crowned at Memphis as well, according to the ancient custom of the Pharaohs. See to it." Let that keep him busy.
As he walked away, his tall frame swaying, I turned back to where my father lay. He seemed smaller, changed. My heart swelled with grief for him, and for all the hardships he had had to endure to retain his throne.
It will not have been in vain, Father, I promised him. Your sacrifices will bear fruit. We will not end up as a Roman province!
Thirty days later, on a brisk and windy day, Ptolemy and I rode together in the gilded ceremonial chariot at the head of the coronation procession that wound its way through the streets of Alexandria, past thousands of curious citizens. I had just had my eighteenth birthday, and he was ten. He had not grown much yet; he came up only to my chin--and I am not a tall woman. But he stood on tiptoe and waved at the cheering crowds, holding up his spindly arm and nodding his head.
I looked behind us at the chariot carrying Arsinoe and little Ptolemy, followed by the retinue of the Regency Council: Pothinus, of course, and Theodotos the tutor and Achillas, general of the Egyptian troops. Pothinus, with his unusually long legs (which eunuchs often have), towered over the other two. They looked almost gleeful; clearly they saw their future as bright. Behind them rode the ministers of state and, marching in their wake, the Macedonian Household Guards. The turning of the chariot wheels made winks of gold all along the way.
We wound our way out of the royal palace grounds and skirted the harbor, then turned at the Temple of Neptune and traveled through the Forum. Turning west, we pa.s.sed by the Soma. Alexander, are you proud of me? Alexander, are you proud of me? I wanted to call to his tomb as we pa.s.sed. I could almost believe I heard his reply in my mind: Not I wanted to call to his tomb as we pa.s.sed. I could almost believe I heard his reply in my mind: Not yet, for nothing yet has come to pa.s.s. yet, for nothing yet has come to pa.s.s.
Across from the Soma, thousands more spectators were standing in the shade of the porticoes around the Gymnasion and the law courts. Then, a little farther down, more people were thronging over the steps of the Museion, particularly the scholars and their students. I recognized the various schools of philosophy by the styles of beard on the faces of their adherents.
The hill crowned by the great Temple of Serapis began to rear up ahead of us. This hill, the only natural one in all Alexandria, made a fitting site for our city G.o.d. His temple was known throughout the civilized world as something to take one"s breath away--huge, imposing, framed against the sky, with fast-moving clouds always in the background. Inside the marble building was the statue of the G.o.d himself, gilded ivory and, if not as large as the Zeus of Olympia, still a marvel of beauty and construction.
The temple grounds sloped upward, and as we entered the sacred precinct, the crowds had to remain outside. But we were in view of all as we left the chariot and mounted the temple steps slowly, approaching the priests who stood, robed in scarlet.
They draped purple mantles over our shoulders, then led us inside, to the cool, dark, echoing hall of marble. As we walked slowly to the statue of Serapis, the holy flame lit before him flared up.
"A good omen," said one of the priests. " "The G.o.d welcomes you."
They brought a silver vessel with two carrying handles, and poured some of the water into a gold basin. We were to dip our fingers in the sacred water, and then touch our tongues with a drop of it.
"The G.o.d has chosen you to rule," the priests said.
They went to a shrine behind the statue and brought out a little coffer, bound round with iron bands and sealed with a jeweled lock. One of them had the key on a band around his neck; he removed it, fitted it in the lock, and opened the coffer. With trembling hands he removed two plain strips of material: the Macedonian diadem. One priest handed mine to me. "You must fasten it yourself," he said.
I held it, looking down at it in the dim light. It was just a strip of linen, a piece of cloth! Yet the power it conveyed! This was what Alexander had worn, not a crown like other rulers, but this.
I took the cloth, positioned it across my forehead, then tied the ends in a knot at the back of my neck.
"It is done, Your Majesty," the priest said.