Mullen drove by again, sitting very erect, and uncovering, with a graceful bend, to some one who was visible at the front. Her face flushed suddenly to the colour of the brickdust, and she felt that the confusion in her soul must fill the universe with noise. Quiet and sober, indeed, if he could only have heard it!
But Abel was busy with his own problems, while his gaze followed Mr.
Mullen"s vanishing back, which had, even from a distance, a look of slight yet earnest endeavour. He still liked the young rector for his sincerity and his uprightness, but he had found, on the whole, that he could approach his G.o.d more comfortably when the straight and narrow shadow of the clergyman did not come between.
"Aren"t you going to pat it any more?" he asked presently, returning to his consideration of the b.u.t.ter.
Picking up a square linen cloth, Judy dipped it into a basin of brine, and, after wringing it out, carefully folded it over the yellow bowl.
"All the b.u.t.termilk is out of it," she answered, and thought of the unfinished pair of purple slippers laid away in tissue paper upstairs in her bureau drawer. As a married woman could she, with virtue, continue to embroider slippers in pansies for her rector? These had been laid aside on the day of her engagement to Abel, but she yearned now to riot in purple shades with her needle. While she listened with a detached mind to Abel"s practical plans for the future, her only interest in the details lay in the fact that they would, in a measure, insure the possibility of a yearly offering of slippers. And while they looked into each other"s eyes, neither suspected for a moment the existence of a secret chamber in the other"s soul. All appeared plain and simple on the surface, and Judy, as well as Abel, was honestly of the opinion that she understood perfectly the situation and that the pa.s.sionate refusal of her heart was the only element that threatened the conventional security of appearances.
She was in the morbid condition of mind when the capacity for feeling seems concentrated on a single centre of pain. Her soul revolved in a circle, and outside of its narrow orbit there was only the arid flatness which surrounds any moment of vivid experience. The velvet slippers, which might have been worn by the young clergyman, possessed a vital and romantic interest in her thoughts, but the mill and the machinery of which Abel was speaking showed to her merely as sordid and mechanical details of existence.
Looking at her suddenly, he realized that she had heard nothing of what he was saying. If he had looked deeper still he would have seen the tragedy of her lovely little soul spinning the web of its perishing illusion. Of all the martyrdoms allotted to love"s victims, she was enduring the bitterest, which is the martyrdom of frustration. Yet because she appeared dull and undesirable on the surface, he had declined, with the rest of Old Church, to regard her emotions any less casually than he regarded her complexion.
"Well, I ought to be a proud man to have you, Judy," he remarked, and rose to his feet.
"I hope neither of us will ever regret it," she returned.
"Not if I can help it," he said, and, putting his arm around her, he drew her to him and kissed her lips. It was the second time he had kissed her, and on the first occasion she had burst into hysterical weeping. He did not know that it was the only caress she had ever received, and that she had wept because it had fallen so far short of what her imagination had deluded her into expecting. Now, though she had herself well in hand and gave no visible sign of her disappointment, there was a fierce, though unspoken, protest in her heart. "To think that after all the nights I"ve lain awake an" wondered what "twas like, it should turn out to be so terrible flat," she said bitterly to herself.
"It"s just a fortnight off now, Judy," he remarked gently, if not tenderly.
"I hope your mother will get on with me, Abel."
"She sets great store by you now. You"re pious, and she likes that even though you do go to the Episcopal church. I heard her say yesterday that it was a rare thing to see a girl find as much comfort in her religion as you do."
"You"ll never want to come between me and my church work, will you, Abel? I do most of the Foreign Mission work, you know, an" I teach in Sunday school and I visit the sick every Friday."
"Come between? Why, it makes me proud of you! When I asked Mr. Mullen about marrying us, he said: "She"s been as good as a right hand to me ever since I came here, Revercomb.""
"Tell me over again. What were his words exactly?"
""She"s been as good as a right hand to me, Revercomb," that was what he said, and he added, "She"s the salt of the earth, that"s the only way to describe her." And now, goodbye, Judy, I must be going back to work."
Without glancing round, he went at his rapid stride down the narrow walk to the whitewashed gate, which hung loose on broken hinges. In the road he came face to face with Jonathan Gay, who was riding leisurely in the direction of Jordan"s Journey.
"How are you, Revercomb? All well?"
"Yes, all well, thank you." Turning in his tracks, he gazed thoughtfully after the rider for a moment.
"I wonder why he came out of his way instead of keeping to the turnpike?" he thought, and a minute later, "that"s the third time he"s come back since the family left Jordan"s Journey."
CHAPTER II
THE DESIRE OF THE MOTH
At the gate before the Revercombs" house Blossom was standing in a dress of vivid blue.
"Are you going to a party?" Abel inquired as he reached her, and she answered impatiently:
"I promised to wear this dress over to Judy"s, so that she could see how it is trimmed."
"Does she want a blue one?" he asked. It seemed to him little short of ludicrous that Judy should buy a new dress because she was going to be married to him; but in the presence of a custom so firmly entrenched behind the traditions of respectability, he knew that protest would be useless. Judy would check out her unromantic person in wedding finery because finery was customary on such occasions.
"Of course we couldn"t dress just alike, Abel," replied Blossom. His question had seemed foolish to her and her usual soft solemnity was ruffled by a pa.s.sing irritation. "Judy"s frock will be green, but she wants bretelles like these on it."
"Bretelles?" he repeated as incredulously as if he had possessed any but the vaguest idea of the article the word described. "Why didn"t she wait until she was married, and then I"d have bought them for her," he added.
"Of course she wants her wedding clothes--all girls do," said Blossom, invoking tradition. "Are you coming in now. We"re having dinner a little earlier."
She turned and moved slowly up the walk, while he followed, caressing the head of Moses, his spotted hound. From the kitchen he could hear Sarah Revercomb scolding the small negro, Mary Jo, whom she was training to wait on the table. On one side of the hearth grandmother sat very alert, waiting for her bowl of soup, into which Mary Jo was crumbling soft bread, while across from her grandfather chuckled to himself over a recollection which he did not divulge.
At Abel"s entrance, the old man stopped chuckling and inquired in an interested tone,
"Did you buy that ar steer, Abel?"
"Not yet, I"m to think it over and let Jim b.u.mpa.s.s know."
"Thar never was sech a man for steers," remarked grandmother, contemptuously. "Here he"s still axin" about steers when he can"t hist himself out of his cheer. If I were you, Abel, I"d tell him he"d better be steddyin" about everlastin" d.a.m.nation instead of steers. Steers ain"t goin" to haul him out of h.e.l.l fire if he once gits down into it."
"Well, you can tell her, Abel," retorted grandfather, "that it"s time enough to holler "h.e.l.l-fire!" when you begin to burn."
Mary Jo prevented a rejoinder by appearing with a napkin, which she tied under his wife"s chin, and a little later the old woman could be heard drinking greedily her bowl of soup. She lived for food, yet, like most pa.s.sions which have become exaggerated by concentration out of all proportion to the fact upon which they depend, the moment of fulfilment seemed always brief and unsatisfactory after the intensity of antic.i.p.ation. To-day the trouble was there were no carrots in the soup, and this omission reduced her to tears because it had blighted the hopes of her entire morning.
"An" I"d been hankerin" arter them carrots ever since breakfast," she whimpered.
"Don"t cry, ma, I"ll mash you up some nice ones for supper. That"ll be something to look forward to," said Sarah, who might have won an immortal crown had such trophies been awarded to the patience of daughters-in-law. "So you didn"t buy that steer, Abel?"
"No, I didn"t buy it."
"Have you seen Judy to-day?"
"I stopped there on my way home. She was making b.u.t.ter, and we talked about buying an extra cow or two and letting Blossom and her send some to market."
"Well it beats me!" observed Sarah, but whether her discomfiture was due to Judy"s b.u.t.ter or to Abel"s love making, she did not explain. On the whole the staidness of the courtship was pleasing to her. Her sense of decorum was flattered by it, for she had as little tolerance of the softer virtues as of the softer vines. It had been years since she had felt so indulgent toward her second son; yet in spite of the gratification his dejection afforded her, she was, as she had just confessed, utterly and entirely "beat." His period of common sense--of perfect and complete sobriety--had lasted for half a year, but she was too shrewd a woman to be deceived by the mere external calmness of appearances. She had had moreover, a long experience with males of the Revercomb stock, and she knew that it was when their blood flowed quietest that there was the greatest danger of an ultimate "rousing."
All her life she had lived in dread of this menace to respectability--to that strict observance of the letter of the social law for which the Hawtreys had stood for generations. On several occasions she had seen a Revercomb really "roused," and when the transformation was once achieved, not all the gravity of all the Hawtreys could withstand the force of it. And this terrible potential energy in her husband"s stock would a.s.sert itself, she knew, after a period of tranquillity. She hadn"t been married to a Revercomb for nothing, she had once remarked.
If anything could have put her into a cheerful humour, it would have been the depressed and solemn manner with which Abel went about the preparations for his marriage. The inflexible logic of Calvinism had pa.s.sed into her fibre, until it had become almost an instinct with her to tread softly in the way of pleasure lest G.o.d should hear. Generations of joyless ancestors had imbued her with an ineradicable suspicion of human happiness--as something which must be paid for, either literally in its pound of flesh, or in a corresponding measure of the materials of salvation.
"I declar" things are goin" on so smooth that something must be gettin"
ready to happen," she said anxiously to herself at least twenty times a day--for she had observed life, and in her opinion, the observation had verified the rigid principles of her religion. Do what you would the doctrines of original sin and predestination kept cropping up under the surface of existence. And so--"It looks all right on top, but you never can tell," was the habitual att.i.tude of her mind.
When dinner was over, Abel went out to the mill, with Moses, the hound, trotting at his heels. The high wind was still blowing, and while he stood by the mill-race, the boughs of the sycamore rocked back and forth over his head with a creaking noise. At each swing of the branches a crowd of broad yellow leaves was torn from the stems and chased over the moving wheel to the open meadow beyond.
With the key of the mill in his hand, Abel stopped to gaze over the green knoll where he had once planned to build his house. Beyond it he saw the strip of pines, and he knew that the tallest of the trees had fallen uselessly beneath his axe. The great trunk still lay there, fast rotting to dust on the carpet of pine cones. He had never sold it for timber. He would never use it for the rafters of his home.