Isn"t going to--? I d-d-don"t follow you.
MRS. UPJOHN.
Be plain, Jimmie.
JIMMIE.
[_Endeavouring to relieve the situation._] Ha, ha! Nature"s taken precious good care of that, in my case.
ROPER.
[_Angrily._] Now, look here, Jimmie! A jest is a capital thing in its way. No man has a keener sense of humour than Lal Roper. But there _are_ occasions when it"s out o" place, and this is one of "em, my dear; and if it"s not putting you to serious inconvenience----
JIMMIE.
[_Also losing her temper._] Oh, well, then, have it in the neck! Lil"s declined young Farncombe. There! And when _you_ crack a joke next, Mr.
Roper, I beg you"ll contrive to favour us with a little variety; [_flouncing away_] because you bore me pallid with your rotten wheezes, and always have done.
ROPER.
[_Going to MRS. UPJOHN, aghast at the tidings._] Ma----!
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_To ROPER, under her breath._] Won"t draw "im into "er net, Uncle.
ROPER.
Won"t draw him into her----?
JIMMIE.
[_At the back._] K-n-e-double t-- net!
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_Pacifically._] Jimmie----!
JIMMIE.
[_Mimicking ROPER derisively._] Hullo, hullo, hullo, hul-lo! Fresh fish from the sea! Buy "em on the beach; buy "em on the beach; buy "em on the beach!
ROPER.
[_To JIMMIE, indignantly._] Jimmie Birch----!
JIMMIE.
[_Sitting upon the fauteuil-stool._] Ha, ha!
ROPER.
[_To MRS. UPJOHN, wiping his brow._] Of course, there is _this_ to be said, Ma. [_Rallying at the idea._] It may be wise of dear Lil to decline Farncombe _at first_. It-- it-- it-- it doesn"t do for a girl, does it, to appear to throw herself at _any_ man, let alone a young fellow of the position-- the-- the-- the social status----!
LILY.
[_Suddenly sitting up and putting her feet to the floor again._] Oh, for mercy"s sake, cease discussing my affairs in my presence! [_To MRS. UPJOHN._] Mother, why do you keep Uncle Lal in the dark? [_To JIMMIE._] Jimmie, why don"t _you_----?
ROPER.
In the dark!
MRS. UPJOHN.
Yes, Lal; your flyin" out at Jimmie over "er "armless joke stopped "er finishin".
ROPER.
Finishing----?
MRS. UPJOHN.
Lil"s not on"y refused young Farncombe but she"s gone an" plighted "erself to another individual.
ROPER.
Plighted herself----?
LILY.
[_Pa.s.sionately._] To one of the best! To one of the best!
ROPER.
[_Stupefied._] Do I-- do I know him?
JIMMIE.
Ha!
LILY.
Know him! You know him sufficiently to have plotted and schemed to prevent his being asked to the party last night.
JIMMIE.
[_To LILY._] Did Lal do that?