She did not seem calmed at all by his words. "What would that be? This mystery event you sent Ki that message about?"
"No, we"ll talk about that later. I"ve brought someone to see you. Someone you"ll want to see." She made a skeptical noise, but then Eliar turned and beckoned Tavis forward. The younger man took two steps and then stopped as his mother"s eyes turned on him.
The thunderstruck look on her face, the way her green eyes, exactly like her son"s, widened told Fay she had recognized Tavis. Her mouth opened in a perfect o of surprise, but no sound came out. One hand rose, reaching out toward the son she hadn"t seen in eleven years. She shook her head slowly, but Fay didn"t think it was a denial, though Tavis" face fell as she did it. Fay noticed Ki put a hand on Lydia"s shoulder, but that elicited no reaction at all. Fay was on the verge of going to Tavis when he finally moved.
He took another small step forward, and said in an uncomfortable, conflicted tone, "h.e.l.lo, Mother."
Lydia lunged forward at his words and threw her arms around his chest. Tavis" eyes instantly went to Fay, and she could read in them his confusion, uncertainty and hope. She realized he had no idea how to respond to his mother"s reaction, that it wasn"t what he had expected. Fay smiled at him, nodding encouragingly. He hesitantly lowered the arms that had risen on instinct and gently placed them around Lydia. She didn"t react, simply stood there, clutching him.
Eliar walked over to stand beside Ki, keeping his eyes on mother and son. He said, still not turning, "I think we"re going to need a few minutes, Ki. Will your father miss you anytime soon?"
Ki shook his head, also watching Lydia and Tavis. Fay wasn"t sure with the cloth covering most of his face, but she thought he was frowning slightly. "Not for a day or two, I think. He knows where to find me if he does."
"Then I think our business will keep for a short while. Perhaps a brief family meeting is in order, if I can pry the two of them apart long enough to get them to a more private setting." In spite of the sarcasm that drifted through his words, he was smiling fondly at them. He went over and put a hand on Lydia"s shoulder, but received no reaction. Tavis dipped his head, for his mother only reached his shoulders, and said something quietly in her ear. She released him and he took her hand, leading her from the room after Eliar. Fay caught a glimpse of Lydia"s face and thought the older woman had been crying.
As they left, Fay noticed that Ki was now watching her intently, utterly motionless in the doorway. Again, she felt that sense of familiarity, like he was someone she should know. He didn"t say anything, and she quickly began to feel uncomfortable in the silence. She decided to try to strike up a conversation, not knowing how long Tavis and Eliar would be. "I guess I should introduce myself, since we didn"t get a chance to before. I"m Fay."
Before she could step forward and offer her hand in greeting, Ki said in a low voice, "I know who you are, Faylanna Derrion."
She hesitated. So he knows who my father is, she thought, but does he share Eliar"s hatred of him? "It seems you have me at a disadvantage. Eliar called you Ki. Is there more to your name also?"
"Ki will suffice."
She frowned. His tone was polite, but nothing more than that, and she thought she detected a strained edge to it. "You know, I"m not like my father, whatever you might think of me." He didn"t respond to this beyond a nod, and continued watching her. She decided to try something else, determined to figure out why he teased the edges of her memory this way. "Have you known Lydia for long?"
He seemed to debate this for longer than such a simple question merited. His voice was still low when he answered. "We"ve known each other since childhood, though we lost touch with each other for a while." He hesitated and she would have missed his sigh if not for the movement of the cloth in front of his mouth. "More recently, our relationship has been renewed and... evolved."
Fay turned this over for a minute, then asked, "You two are bound partners, then?"
Again, he hesitated, as if considering something more than the question itself, and said, "Yes, we bound ourselves to each other recently."
"What"s it like?" The question was out before she had known she wanted to ask it, and she felt herself flush a little. It had been one thing to ask Eliar in the privacy of his cottage after sharing her nightmare with him. This was different entirely. She wanted to tell him to forget it, but something about the slender eyebrow that arched up in a question made her instead clarify her own. "Finding your partner later in life, after graduating, I mean. I- If you know me, you know..."
She had trailed off, unable to finish, but she saw understanding in his eyes, which then flicked in the direction Lydia and the two men had gone and back to her. "It"s not without challenges. I think that the younger you are, the easier it is to mold yourself to another person, to be flexible about who you are and the things you want. Later, well, who you are is more developed, your personality and sense of self, and your responsibilities in life place their own demands. You"re more set in your ways, so it takes more effort to find that place where you can work with the other person, a middle ground, if you will. But even with all of that, it"s worth it. I think having to work at it may make us value each other more."
The warmth in his voice as he spoke this last surprised her, and it tugged again, harder, at the edge of her memory. She knew he wasn"t anyone she had met recently, but she was sure that this was not the first time. The silence between them spun out though, and Ki showed no sign of breaking it. He just kept watching her, and she abruptly became irritated with the whole situation.
"Who are you?" she demanded, taking another step closer to him. "Who are you that you know me? You seem so familiar. I keep feeling like I"m on the verge of remembering where we"ve met but I can"t quite do it. I know we have met before though, I"m sure of it!"
His eyes widened as if he was taken aback by her outburst. He shifted backward a little, clearly uncomfortable with how near she was. He remained just beyond the reach of her arm. She realized this was for the best since she was at the point of ripping the scarf from across his face to see who he was and she knew that would be unpardonable, no matter what it might reveal. Finally, he said emphatically, "You don"t know me, Faylanna, however much you might think it. You do not know me."
She let out an exasperated sigh, turned and went to the narrow windows on the far side of the room. She didn"t look around when she heard his retreating footsteps. Eventually, other footsteps came into the room. She turned to see Lydia and Tavis standing there, looking happy, though Lydia looked a little confused and worried too.
"Mother sent Eliar to bed," Tavis said before Fay could ask. "He"s old enough to need his rest, or so she told him."
The smile he flashed first to his mother, then to her, made Fay smile back without intending to. She was honestly glad to see that it had turned out well so far for him, though she was still angry and frustrated about Ki.
Lydia beckoned her over and said, "Come on. I"ll show you to your room. You"ll stay here while you"re in Rianza."
They left the sitting room and went up the stairs to the second floor of the house. Lydia took them down the main hall and then stopped at one of the doors near the end. She opened it and gestured Fay inside.
"Thank you for helping Tavis to get here. Please make yourself comfortable, Faylanna. I want you to feel at home. You"re safe in this house, so please, be at ease."
The earnest tone in Lydia"s voice made Fay feel a little uncomfortable. She didn"t know what to say, so just nodded and went into the room, closing the door behind her.
Chapter 9.
The first thing Fay noticed when she looked around the room was that it was the finest she had ever slept in. This house might not be the biggest in the Quarter of Airs, but she had already decided that it was probably the most luxurious. The large four-post bed had its own curtains tied to the posts and a richly colored spread covered it. There was a large dresser on one side, as well as a small table with two chairs set under a window taller than she was herself. She saw with relief that someone had set her two bags on top of the dresser. Then she spied another door beside the dresser. Wondering what it might lead to, she walked over and opened it, only to discover the ultimate luxury she could have imagined; her own private bath, set into the floor. It was already filled with steaming water, as if someone had known she would want to use it the moment she saw it.
With a glance over her shoulder to make sure the curtains on the window were closed, she quickly pulled her clothes off, pausing before deciding to leave the pendant on, and tested the water. It was the perfect temperature and she slipped in immediately. Delighted to find the tub deep enough to immerse herself completely, she took advantage of it and let the acc.u.mulated travel dirt of the past week soak off of her. Part way through this endeavor, she realized that the water was piped in warm, with a drain somewhere circulating away the dirty water. She soaped her hair with the supply that had been left by the tub and sighed with joy. The dirt swirled away and she felt refreshed. With great reluctance, she eventually dragged herself out, donning a thick robe that hung on the wall next to the tub and using a towel hanging beside it to start drying her hair.
She was just walking back into the main room, her hands above her head to towel her hair, when there was a knock on the door. She hesitated and Tavis" voice came through the door.
"Fay, I brought you some dinner. I thought you might be hungry." There was a pause. "And I need someone to talk to."
She stood there, still holding her hair in the towel. She looked down at the robe she wore and then back up at the door. From the other side, "Please?"
She let go of her hair and tucked the towel under one arm. Pausing with her hand on the k.n.o.b, she thought to herself that this was foolish, then opened the door anyway. Tavis was standing there, a covered tray in his hands. He looked tired, confused and happy all at once.
"Thank you."
She nodded and took the tray from him. Walking over to the dresser, she set it down and turned. Tavis had closed the door behind him and was leaning against it, chin to his chest and his head held in both hands. She didn"t know what to do for him, her state of dress making her first instinct awkward. Without looking up, he said, "I was going to try to sleep, but I can"t stop thinking about- well, everything. I feel like my head"s going to burst. It"s just too much. I found I could talk to you, when it was just the two of us, before." He stopped, dropped his hands to his sides and raised his eyes to hers. "You"re a good listener. I need to get some of this out of my head before I scream."
She nodded, and then tossed the towel inside the door of the bathing room before turning back to him. "Start with the hardest thing. I always find that makes the rest of it easier when I have a lot on my mind."
He stared at her. "You"ve felt like this?"
She laughed softly. "Yes, a few times. The worst was when they told me I had to go to Voleno. I didn"t have anyone to talk to either, so instead I just kept thinking of having to leave, and trying to figure out why. But you"re here to talk, not to listen to me."
She walked over to the little table under the window and sat down, trying not to be overly self-conscious at being in nothing but a robe. Tavis was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn"t seemed to have noticed. He continued to lean against the door for a while without speaking, staring ahead at nothing.
"I expected to be outraged. She"s here, safe and sound, and I was stuck with Nevon for so long. I feel like that should seem more unfair to me, but I can"t manage to stay angry with her. She didn"t say a lot about the years since she left the farm, but I get the impression it wasn"t easy, and then it feels like she"s suffered enough." He paused and focused on her. "I guess this sounds stupid."
She shook her head and waited for him to go on. After a minute spent watching her, he did, closing his eyes as he spoke. "She explained why she left, more than she had in the letter. I guess I didn"t really say much about that once I read it. I just didn"t know what to make of it. She talked about how she loved me, and that was why she couldn"t take me with her, but that she always hoped she"d be able to come back for me when it was safe." He paused and drew a deep breath, folding his arms across his chest. "I guess it never was. She knew what she was leaving me with, but thought that would be less dangerous. I guess she didn"t realize my father would get worse after she left."
He stopped speaking again, and his lips pressed together as he struggled to control his emotions. After a while, she asked, "What did she say about why she left? You mentioned that she explained that further."
He opened his eyes again, and the hurt in them seared her heart. "Because he wouldn"t let me learn."
"Learn what?" She thought she knew, but it occurred to her that saying the words out loud would help him get it off his chest.
Tavis pushed away from the door, an angry flush starting to rise up his neck and in his cheeks. "Anything! That"s why she only taught me to read or showed me magic at night or when he was gone from the house, because he refused to let her teach me anything. Just because he was some ignorant n.o.body, he wouldn"t let me learn anything. My own father."
He was staring at his hands now, clenched into fists in front of him. In the light of the candles on the dresser, she saw a tear track down his face before he turned his back on her. This time she did get up and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn"t turn, but he dropped his hands loose again at his sides and went on.
"I don"t even know why she chose Nevon, to be honest. He was stubborn, pigheaded and stupid, and it sounds like she got her fill of stubborn and pigheaded at least in her own family. She and Eliar didn"t go into their relationship much, but I get the impression that it was never an easy one that way. I think we"ve both seen it in Eliar, and from what I saw, Mother is just as bad."
She smiled and said, "So I should expect it from you at some point? I mean, it sounds like you"d come by it honestly."
He looked at her over his shoulder, almost smiling himself. "Doubt it. Sometimes I think I could use it though. I was probably a fool to stay as long as I did and take care of my father. It"s not like I owed him anything." He considered for moment, then said, "I guess I just don"t know how to feel or what to make of these people who are suddenly my family, in my life unexpectedly. And on top of that, they all seem to be involved in something big, maybe the same thing you"re in the middle of. I"m afraid I"m out of my depth here, Fay. I"m just some ignorant farmer. What do I know of plots and- anything really?"
She squeezed her hand on his shoulder to make him turn around and face her. "Don"t, Tavis. Just because you were born on a farm doesn"t make you ignorant. I went to the academy with children from all over the empire by the time I was done, and I learned from them that where you start doesn"t make any difference in where your life can take you, not if you"re determined to be more. Professor Ganson was born the son of a failed merchant who drank about as much as your father, from what he told me, and he went on to become an amba.s.sador, one of the Emperor"s best diplomats."
He stared at her, surprised. "I don"t know that I could do that. He sounds like he was really smart and-"
She cut him off with a hard poke to his chest, her words coming out faster and fiercer by the moment. "Don"t you sell yourself short, Tavis. Not to me, not when I know better. Have you forgotten that I"ve taught you? That I saw how fast you learned the things I showed you? And I only had to show you once. You lit the fire all on your own last night. I was watching. You have two of the three things you need the most to succeed, Tavis, intelligence and the ability to learn. If you can just believe in yourself, there"s nothing you won"t be able to do with a little training."
He had grabbed her hand to keep her from poking him again and he held it, staring at her with his brilliant eyes wide and his lips slightly parted, as if on the verge of speech. He searched her face for several moments in silence. As he did, her anger melted away, and she was surprised to realize how much she wanted him to succeed.
Suddenly he dropped her hand and took a step back. He was blushing, and it brought back her awareness that she wasn"t properly dressed. He stood still for a moment, continuing to stare at her, then said, "I- I have to go to bed. I"m sorry, I shouldn"t have- Thank you. Good night, Fay."
He turned and left quickly. She was at the door as it latched behind him and she pressed her hands to it, surprised at how the room felt empty to her now. She could have sworn she heard someone just outside the door, breathing in a long slow rhythm. After a few minutes, that too was gone and she sat down on the bed, feeling confused. She couldn"t decide what she wanted. The thought of that heated pulse that usually coursed through her when Tavis was around tried to intrude but she pushed it away. She didn"t want a partner, not yet at least. She still needed to accomplish something of her own before she could even consider it, though she had no idea what to do or how to go about it. A small voice in her mind tried to tell her she was being silly, and another tried to point out that she could do whatever she wanted while he learned to use his magic, but she muzzled them both. Feeling tired, she lay back on the bed and was asleep before she could think about crawling under the covers.
The next morning she awoke with confused and troubling memories of the night. Shattered fragments of dreams and nightmares, colored with anger and frustration she didn"t understand, chased around her mind. That was overshadowed by something worse though. She vividly remembered waking up in the night, convinced that she was not alone in the room, but seeing no one when she looked around. She had fallen back asleep just as she decided she should get up and check.
She dressed and brushed her hair carefully, trying to collect herself. That was when she noticed a single red rose sitting in the center of her dresser. She went over and picked it up. Twirling it thoughtfully between her fingertips, she examined it but nothing about it seemed unusual and she could detect no spellwork about it. Perhaps one of the servants left it there while I was still asleep, she thought and set it back down.
Leaving her room, she went downstairs, hesitated for a moment as she tried to think where everyone might be, then followed the sound of voices she heard. She stopped in the door of a small dining room as Eliar sat down at the table with a plate of food from a sideboard breakfast. Tavis and Lydia were talking to each other on the other side of the room.
"...don"t see what"s wrong with the clothes I have," Tavis was saying.
"Surely you want to look your best for-" Lydia said, breaking off as she noticed Fay in the doorway. "Good morning, Faylanna. In any case, Tavis, it will look suspicious if someone dressed as you are keeps going in and out of this quarter, and people will start to inquire. Please, just go upstairs and put them on."
"They don"t fit. I look ridiculous in them. I"m not wearing them," he said with finality.
Lydia gave a long-suffering sigh and Eliar stopped eating long enough to say, "Do as your mother tells you, boy."
Tavis started arguing with Eliar after that and Lydia turned to Fay. Her eyes were pleading and it was obvious what she wanted. Fay thought about it and spoke over the two arguing men, smiling at the idea that had occurred to her. "I can take him to a tailor. I know the perfect person for the job. Soval will do it, if only because it will be me asking."
"Soval? Really?" Lydia"s surprise was obvious. She turned to Tavis. "Well, I- I just don"t know if it"s a good idea for you to go outside, Faylanna. Your father is in the city."
Eliar agreed. "After the trouble we went to in order to get you into the city without him finding out, you can"t just go prancing around in the streets. I thought you had more sense than that."
"I"m not going to hide here forever just because you think I should be afraid of my father, Eliar," she snapped, taking a step into the dining room in her defiance.
"I"m not the only one who thinks that. And with what happened when you came to see me, I"m surprised you don"t see why."
"If you"re referring to the attack by that vygazza, I"ll admit the creature was something to be terrified of, but I"ve seen nothing to connect it with my father. I"m not staying in this house until you decide I can go out based solely on that."
"Let the girl go out, Eliar," Ki said, coming into the room behind her. They had been arguing so loudly that she hadn"t heard his approach. "I"ve heard that he"s... occupied at the moment. Even if he finds out she"s in the city, he won"t be able to act fast enough to find out where she"s staying, as long as they don"t take all day. She"ll have Tavis with her, and I"m sure he won"t let anything happen to her."
There was silence around the room, and Fay wanted to turn around and hug Ki in grat.i.tude. Eliar grumbled a little and Lydia tried to give her some advice on what to get for Tavis, which Fay knew she would ignore. Soval would be insulted by advice in any case, and she knew better than to risk that. Tavis was still watching her and she found it unnerving that he hadn"t spoken at all. After a few bites of breakfast, she realized she was too excited to eat. She stood up and nodded to Tavis, who followed suit.
Ki intercepted them at the door and handed over a folded sheet of fine parchment. He looked seriously into her eyes. "You"ll need this to get back into the quarter. In fact, you might need it to get out unmolested by the guards, but it should be fine. Just remember to come back before afternoon. I meant what I said about not being out all day."
She nodded and left with Tavis trailing behind her. They were almost to the gates of the Quarter of Airs before he started walking beside her. People were staring at him and she saw that it made him uncomfortable. She was glad that she had put her nicest dress on, something she had forgotten was in her pack until she had been getting dressed that morning.
"Thank you," Tavis said quietly, keeping his eyes down. "If I have to wear fancy clothes like what she gave me, well, I guess it should fit right, or I"ll look like even more of an idiot."
Fay smiled at that. They were able to get out of the quarter without having to use the paper Ki had given them, for which she was grateful. She wondered if they would even need it on the way back in, if Soval did well. She would have to ask him to work quickly. The tailor"s shop was exactly where she remembered it. The familiar window, still full of fabric rolls, brought a rush of pleasant memories. After taking a moment to smile and savor the past, she took Tavis" hand and pulled him to the door, trying to maintain her hold on dignity. She pushed him in ahead of her and closed the door after her as an irascible but welcome voice called out.
"I don"t do charity for country b.u.mpkins."
"What about favors for an old academy student here to visit?" Fay asked, stepping out from behind Tavis.
The older man who stood in front of her was little changed from her four-year-old memory of him. Still slightly haughty, short and with the white-blond hair she had envied as a child. Though his face was more lined now, his brown eyes smiled when he saw her.
"Oh, my dear," his former irritation melted away. "Is it really you? Faylanna, can it really be?" She nodded and stepped forward, intending to shake his hand, but he pulled her into a hug. She was embarra.s.sed but pleased at his greeting. It had been so long that she hadn"t been quite as sure as she"d let on at the manor. "It has been too long, my dear. You should have visited me sooner!"
She laughed at his mock anger. "I only just arrived back in the city, Soval. I haven"t been to Rianza since I was sent to the Voleno Academy. Now, about that favor, if you"re willing...?"
"For you, anything," he said, then looked over at Tavis. "Even this. I suppose you want him dressed well. But how well?"
Speaking over Tavis, who was trying to object, she said, "Well enough to get in and out of the Quarter of Airs with little or no comment, but not so well that people start trying to figure out who he is. You"re the only one who can do it."
"No need to b.u.t.ter me up, Faylanna. I"ve already agreed."
"Oh, and not too fancy. More toward the tastefully understated?" Those words calmed Tavis down enough that he didn"t argue as they all went up to the second floor of the shop, where Soval kept his fitting area.
"Now, strip down to your undergarments," Soval ordered.
Fay had not expected the angry refusal that resulted from this request. "You can forget that idea right now."
She turned to Tavis. "It"s how these things are done."
"No." He walked over to the window, his body rigid with some deep emotion that she couldn"t quite identify. She didn"t think it was entirely anger, though she wasn"t sure why she believed that. She and Soval exchanged a look, and then the tailor walked over to Tavis and asked a quiet question that Fay didn"t hear. Tavis gave a long, softly spoken answer, to which Soval nodded. He went to a corner and pulled out a triple-panel screen of plain heavy-woven cotton. He set it up near the table with his tools and went back to Tavis. After another short conversation, also conducted quietly enough that Fay heard nothing, Tavis ducked behind it and Soval brought her a chair.
"I"m not missing the chance to catch up with you just because he"s bashful, I swear," Soval said to her in a whisper before going behind the screen himself. He chatted happily with Fay about everything that had happened to her in Voleno while he worked. She was pleased that Tavis only complained once, and not too forcefully. After a while, and one more soft-voiced conversation with Tavis, Soval came out and went to a chest sitting in a corner. He carefully went through the contents, which seemed to be clothing he had already made, setting aside the makings of a complete outfit. It seemed odd that he would have them, because he had only ever worked on commission when she"d lived in Rianza.
Soval spoke to her over his shoulder, as if guessing her question. "Sometimes people don"t come to pick up the items they have requested, or can"t pay the final amount. I keep the clothes then, but I see no reason to get rid of them, in case somehow I can sell them later, recoup my losses."
After he had what he needed, Soval returned to the screen and pa.s.sed the pile to Tavis, who took them with thanks. Soval waited for a few minutes, then peeked quickly around the screen. Obviously satisfied with what he saw, he folded the panels up and set them back in their corner. Tavis had the black, close-fitting pants on, but the shirt was still in his hands. He had his back to her, absorbed in trying to figure out how it went on. As she stared at his back, she was confused about what she was seeing at first. Then understanding came, and she felt her eyes widen. His back was covered with a mult.i.tude of scars, different sizes and shapes, all of them older and faded so that they showed up pale against his tanned skin. Some of the scars were layered over others. Had all of them happened in the years since Lydia had left, she wondered. Were they all from his father?
She knew Soval had asked her something, and that she should respond, but the painful truth of what Tavis had gone through froze her. There was a mirror in front of him and he suddenly looked up into it, at her through the reflection. For a moment he looked uncertain and then that dissolved and he turned to face her, his green eyes a mixture of defiance and pleading. Then he dropped his gaze to the shirt, turned it a little and was able finally to put it on. Sleeveless and dark gray, it suited him perfectly, highlighting how handsome he was. Soval moved in with a needle and thread, tucking the pants and shirt so that they fit reasonably, as much as possible given they had not been made to Tavis" measurements. Given his height, Fay thought the result was nothing short of a miracle.
Neither of them spoke as they left, except to tell Soval where they were staying so that he could deliver the two sets of clothes when they were done. Soval was beaming as he showed them to the door of the shop and pointed them down the street toward a cobbler who he said might be able to help them out. The silence continued as they went through that errand. The cobbler didn"t have anything to fit Tavis" feet, which were larger than average because he was so tall, but promised to make him a set of boots as quickly as possible and asked them to come back in two hours.
When they left the cobbler"s shop, they began walking down the street to nowhere in particular. They crossed a bridge that arched over the ca.n.a.l between the Quarter of Coins, the business district in Rianza, and the Scholar"s Quarter. Finally, looking at him from the corner of her eye, Fay said quietly, "Nevon did that to you after Lydia left, didn"t he?"
His deep sigh told her she didn"t need to explain what she was asking about. "I think I told you his drinking got worse. It actually got a lot worse, and when yelling wasn"t enough, or when he"d run out of things to scream at me about, he"d grab whatever was handy and..."