"More than satisfied, Thurston--more than satisfied, I am inexpressibly happy now. Yes, though you are going away; for, see! the pain of parting for a few months, is lost in the joy of knowing that we are united, though separated--and in antic.i.p.ating the time not long hence, when we shall meet again. G.o.d bless you, dearest Thurston."
"G.o.d forever bless and love you, sweet wife." And so they parted.
CHAPTER XVII.
SPRING AND LOVE.
It was late in February before the party reached home. Thurston"s business finished he also hastened back and sought out Marian. One memorable episode must be related. Thurston had met Marian not many yards down the lonely forest foot-path, leading from the village school to Old Fields one evening.
After a walk of about a quarter of a mile through the bushes they descended by the natural staircase of moss-covered rocks, and sat down together upon a bed of violets at its foot.
Before them, through the canopy of over-arching trees, was seen, like a picture in its frame of foliage, a fine view of the open country and the bay now bathed in purple haze of evening.
But the fairest prospect that ever opened had no more attraction for Thurston than if it had been a view of chimney tops from a back attic window. He pa.s.sed his right hand around Marian"s shoulders, and drew her closer to his side, and with the other hand began to untie her bonnet strings.
"Lay off this little bonnet. Let me see your beauteous head uncovered.
There!" he said, putting it aside, and smoothing her bright locks. "Oh, Marian! my love! my queen! when I see only the top of your head, I think your rippling, sunny tresses your chief beauty; but soon my eyes fall to the blooming cheek--there never was such a cheek--so vivid, yet so delicate, so glowing, yet so cool and fresh--like the damask rose bathed in morning dew--so when I gaze on it I think the blushing cheek your sweetest charm--ah! but near by breathe the rich, ripe lips, fragrant as nectarines; and which I should swear to be the very buds of love, were not my gaze caught up to meet your eyes--stars!--and then I know that I have found the very soul of beauty! Oh! priceless pearl! By what rare fortune was it that I ever found you in these Maryland woods? Love!
Angel! Marian! for that means all!" he exclaimed, in a sort of ecstasy, straining her to his side.
And Marian dropped her blushing face upon his shoulder--she was blushing not from bashful love alone--with it mingled a feeling of shame, regret, and mistrust, because he praised so much her form and face; because he seemed to love her only for her superficial good looks. She would have spoken if she could have done so; she would have told what was on her heart as earnest as a prayer by saying:
"Oh, do not think so much of this perishable, outward beauty; accident may ruin it, sickness may injure it, time will certainly impair it. Do not love me for that which I have no power over, and which may be taken from me at any time--which I shall be sure to lose at last--love me for something better and more lasting than that. I have a heart in this bosom worth all the rest, a heart that in itself is an inner world--a kingdom worthy of your rule--a heart that neither time, fortune, nor casualty can ever change--a heart that loves you now in your strong and beautiful youth, and will love you when you are old and gray, and when you are one of the redeemed of heaven. Love me for this heart."
But to have saved her own soul or his, Marian could not then have spoken those words.
So he continued to caress her--every moment growing more and more enchanted with her loveliness. There was more of pa.s.sion than affection in his manner, and Marian felt and regretted this, though her feeling was not a very clearly defined one--it was rather an instinct than a thought, and it was latent, and quite subservient to her love for him.
"Love! angel! how enchanting you are," he exclaimed, catching her in his arms and pressing kisses on her cheek and lips and neck.
Glowing with color, Marian strove to release herself. "Let me go--let us leave this place, dear Thurston," she pleaded, attempting to rise.
"Why? Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you wish to leave me?" he asked, without releasing his hold.
"It is late! Dear Thurston, it is late," she said, in vague alarm.
"That does not matter--I am with you."
"They will be anxious about me, pray let us go! They will be so anxious!" she said, with increasing distress, trying to get away.
"Thurston! Thurston! You distress me beyond measure," she exclaimed in great trouble.
But he stopped her breath with kisses.
Marian suddenly ceased to struggle, and by a strong effort of will she became perfectly calm. And looking in his eyes, with her clear, steady gaze, she said:
"Thurston, I have ceased to strive. But if you are a man of honor, you will release me."
His arms dropped from around her as if he had been struck dead.
Glad to be free, Marian arose to depart. Thurston sat still--his fine countenance overclouded with mortification and anger. Marian hesitated; she knew not how to proceed. He did not offer to rise and attend her. At length she spoke.
"Will you see me safely through the woods, Thurston?"
He did not answer.
"Thurston, it is nearly dark--there are several runaway negroes in the forest now, and the road will not be safe for me."
"Good-night, then," she said.
"Good-night, Marian."
She turned away and ascended the steps with her heart filled nearly to bursting with grief, indignation and fear. That he should let her take that long, dark, dangerous walk alone! it was incredible! she could scarcely realize it, or believe it! Her unusually excited feelings lent wings to her feet, and she walked swiftly for about a quarter of a mile, and then was forced to pause and take breath. And then every feeling of indignation and fear was lost in that of sorrow, that she had wounded his feelings, and left him in anger. And Marian dropped her face into her open hands and wept. A step breaking through the brushwood made her start and tremble. She raised her head with the att.i.tude of one prepared for a spring and flight. It was so dark she could scarcely see her hands before her, but as the step approached, a voice said:
"Fear nothing, Marian, I have not lost sight of you since you left me,"
and Thurston came up to her side.
With a glad smile of surprise Marian turned to greet him, holding out her hand, expecting him to draw it through his arm and lead her on. But no, he would not touch her hand. Lifting his hat slightly, he said:
"Go forward if you please to do so, Marian. I attend you."
Marian went on, and he followed closely. They proceeded in silence for some time. Now that she knew that he had not left her a moment alone in the woods, she felt more deeply grieved at having so mortified and offended him. At last she spoke:
"Pray, do not be angry with me, dear Thurston."
"I am not angry that I know of, fair one; and you do me too much honor to care about my mood. Understand me once for all. I am not a Dr.
Grimshaw, in any phase of that gentleman"s character. I am neither the tyrant who will persecute you to exact your attention, nor yet the slave who will follow and coax and whine and wheedle for your favor. In either character I should despise myself too much," he answered, coolly.
"Thurston, you are deeply displeased, or you would not speak so, and I am very, very sorry," said Marian in a tremulous voice.
"Do not distress yourself about me, fair saint! I shall trouble you no more after this evening!"
What did he mean? What could Thurston mean? Trouble her no more after this evening! She did not understand the words, but they went through her bosom like a sword. She did not reply--she could not. She wished to say:
"Oh, Thurston, if you could read my heart--how singly it is devoted to you--how its thoughts by day, and dreams by night are filled with histories and images of what I would be, and do or suffer for you--of how faithfully I mean to love and serve you in all our coming years--you would not mistake me, and get angry, because you would know my heart."
But these words Marian could not have uttered had her life depended on it.
"Go on, Marian, the moor is no safer than the forest; I shall attend you across it."
And they went on until the light from Old Field Cottage was visible.
Then Marian said:
"You had better leave me now. They are sitting up and watching for me."
"No! go on, the night is very dark. I must see you to the gate."
They walked rapidly, and just as they approached the house Marian saw a little figure wandering about on the moor, and which suddenly sprang toward her with an articulate cry of joy! It was Miriam, who threw herself upon Marian with such earnestness of welcome that she did not notice Thurston, who now raised his hat slightly from his head, with a slight nod, and walked rapidly away.