Chapter 93: Carried away
Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon
Fangzheng was not a r.e.t.a.r.d. He usually surfed the Internet and one of the recent hot topics was precisely this ‘suboptimal health’. He naturally knew that Li Fengxian was speaking nonsense, but he was feigning ignorance. He wanted to see what the woman was planning.
Fangzheng asked, “Eh? Might I ask, Patron, what part of suboptimal health do you focus in? And how should it be done?”
“Your problem is mainly because you have an excess of heat in you like animals have when they are in heat. You need to expel that heat.” Li Fengxian was speaking in all seriousness, but her eyes were almost blazing with flames.
Fangzheng was taken aback. In heat? What the heck?
Li Fengxian immediately acted like a clairvoyant and esteemed worldly expert as she said, “Little Monk, let me ask you, do you have a tent pitched every morning with the pole seemingly being able to hold up the skies?
Fangzheng blushed and nodded slightly.
“Heh! This young monk can even blus.h.!.+ Haha, his skin is so white but now, he’s as red as an apple. He’s indeed a young virgin boy,” Li Fengxian beamed inwardly and found Fangzheng even more interesting and adorable. She continued her deceit, “That’s right. When you are in heat, but there is no way to expel it, it will naturally cause the formidable pillar. Little Monk, don’t you want it to be treated?”
Fangzheng wasn’t a fool, so he immediately understood what was going on! He thought he had met a female patron, but he had actually met a relative of Lone Wolf, a female seductress!
Fangzheng thought to himself, “Indeed, beautiful women are not reliable. In the future, I need to marry a girl-next-door. That’s dependable.” However, he said, “Amitabha. Female Patron, if you are here to wish for something and offer incense, please go in. If there’s nothing else, This Penniless Monk will not entertain you further.” Having said that, Fangzheng turned and left. He truly wanted to renounce asceticism, but not to fool around with women in the bed.
He wanted to abandon his secular life only because he wanted to change his lifestyle!
The moment Fangzheng left, Li Fengxian knew she had goofed up. She had been too anxious, resulting in her scaring the young monk away.
However, Li Fengxian had an idea come to her as she exclaimed, “Aiyah, my blood sugar level is low. Aiyah, I’m feeling giddy. Aiyah…”
Fangzheng turned his head and happened to see Li Fengxian faint and lie there motionless.
When Fangzheng saw this, he sighed and thought to himself, “I wonder what’s wrong with this female patron’s head. What sort of ‘playing house’ games did she play when she was growing up? Which child would still secretly scratch an itch while pretending to be unconscious… Does she really think This Penniless Monk can’t see her little actions?”
However, Fangzheng did not want to be embroiled with Li Fengxian. Firstly, he did not want to. Secondly, he was afraid of negative karma. Thirdly, he was afraid that his mission score would be deducted, affecting the benefits he gained in the future. And fourthly, the day he could renounce asceticism was still far away. Therefore, Fangzheng walked away.
Li Fengxian secretly stole a glance at Fangzheng and thought to herself, “You dumb monk. I’m already in such a state yet you don’t take the opportunity to hug or kiss me. Just touching a little would be fine. The pinhole camera is already set up, but it was all for nothing. Fine, I have to wait a little longer. Who knows if the little monk is testing me. I refuse to believe that I can’t cause a young monk to succ.u.mb to my looks!”
Li Fengxian had her thoughts run wild but after a long while, Fangzheng did not come. Her leopard-skin robe could only keep her upper body warm. The lower half of her body was still on the cold ground. It was truly a little cold. As time pa.s.sed, it only became colder…
“Hmph, is that bald donkey trying to have a patience compet.i.tion with me? I’ll wait it out with you. I’ll see if you will eventually come to touch me or not!” Li Fengxian turned determined as there was a deep sense of stubbornness deep in her eyes.
And at that moment, Fangzheng was making a fire in the backyard. From time to time, Lone Wolf would run over and report the situation.
“Hehe, seriously, what is up with this woman? She clearly hasn’t fainted, yet she insists on acting that she has. She sure is ill. Forget it. Since she likes to lie down, let her continue doing so. Go watch her. If she can’t take it and leaves, tell me,” after Fangzheng said that, Lone Wolf whisked its tail and left. Fangzheng added, “If she were to freeze, let me know as well.”
Seconds changed to minutes as Li Fengxian’s teeth chattered from the cold. She was about to get up after not being able to bear it any longer.
However, she heard a series of footsteps. Li Fengxian’s heart stirred. “He’s here! Haha! Indeed, the young monk can’t last longer than me. Hmph, let’s see if you will hug me this time! As long as you dare to hug me, I’ll just go with the flow. A few shots of the camera, hehe… The mission is completed and I can leave with money in hand! Darn monk, have fun yourself! Eh, why does the direction of the footsteps seem wrong? Also, it seems like there are a little too many of them.”
“Fangzheng, what’s the matter? Who fainted?” outside the door, Dog Song’s voice sounded. Following that, Dog Song and Yang Hua came running in.
When Li Fengxian heard this, she immediately turned anxious. She cursed inwardly, “You darn monk. You didn’t come over all this while because you were calling for someone! No, I can’t wait any longer. I have to get up! Aiyah, my feet are numb.”
The moment Li Fengxian tried moving, she realized her feet had gone numb. She had been drained of her strength, and she failed to get up. When she opened her eyes, she saw Fangzheng walking over slowly in white. He held his palms together and said to Dog Song and Yang Hua, “Amitabha. Patrons, for some reason, this female patron has fainted. Might I ask the two of you to help carry her down the mountain for treatment?”
“Aiyah, Fangzheng, don’t give me that. Your manner of speech gives me gooseb.u.mps,” Yang Hua said with a wry smile.
Dog Song did not agree to it. “What are you talking about? Huh? Fangzheng is now an abbot. He naturally has to speak differently. I find it quite nice. Furthermore, Fangzheng is someone who has won over a bunch of cultured people. It’s only right if he’s proper in his speech and mannerisms.”
Fangzheng had helped Dog Song turn over a new leaf. Now, Dog Song was living a meaningful life and found it more enjoyable than the life he had before. He liked the feeling of being praised by everyone for he felt like he was a hero. He was naturally extremely grateful to Fangzheng and would always speak up for him.
When Fangzheng heard this, he smiled slightly and said, “It’s alright. However, it’s best to save her first. Look, she can’t even get up now.”
Yang Hua realized it was true when he gave a look. He hurriedly called out to Dog Song as they spread out the bed sheet they had brought up the mountain. On the way down the mountain, Li Fengxian kept screaming, “I’m fine. Let me down!”
Fangzheng watched the trio leave as he held his palms together. He smiled at Li Fengxian and gave a Buddhist proclamation, “Amitabha!”
Li Fengxian gnashed her teeth as she glared at Fangzheng. She knew that the monk must have seen through her and had deliberately sent her down the mountain. Although she was so incensed that she gritted her teeth, she was out of options. Now wasn’t the time to lose decorum with Fangzheng. However, she had lost the first match and could only come up with other plans. As for now, she could rest at ease. She had indeed suffered from the cold. Her toes were so cold that they had lost their feeling. She decided to go down the mountain to warm herself up before deciding on her next move.
After sending Li Fengxian away, Fangzheng frowned. He did not find the matter a coincidence. Li Fengxian did not seem like she was here to show her respects to Buddha. Instead, she appeared to have come to molest him. However, what was the point of molesting him? The only benefit would appear to be Fangzheng’s, right?
Despite a great deal of thought, Fangzheng failed to figure out the reason and decided not to think further. As long as he maintained his Buddhist heart, he would not be afraid of any demons or G.o.ds! A clear conscience isn’t afraid of false accusations!