Chapter 968: Beating Salted Fish
Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon
Splash
Salted Fish appeared out of the water and said in anger, “What is it? Can’t you let a fish sleep?”
“Stop sleeping. There’s something I need to ask you. Jingxin, come over as well.” Fangzheng spoke very formally. With him beckoning them like this, Red Boy and Salted Fish exchanged looks. They could see the seriousness in Fangzheng’s eyes and knew he wasn’t fooling around. Hence, they didn’t engage in any banter and quickly followed him.
Lone Wolf, Squirrel, and Monkey got together and exchanged looks, completely puzzled as to what Fangzheng was up to.
Lone Wolf said, “What’s Master doing? Why isn’t he gathering us?”
Squirrel said unhappily, “That’s right! If it wasn’t for the bean buns you brought back, I’d be furious!”
Monkey pressed his palms together and said, “Amitabha. There’s no mistake listening to Master. I’ll go to the temple hall. There was lots of incense today.”
Fangzheng left the monastery with Red Boy and Salted Fish. After finding a relatively faraway spot and confirming that Lone Wolf and company weren’t following, he explained the situation regarding Lone Wolf, Monkey, and Squirrel to Red Boy and Salted Fish. Then he asked, “One of you is a demon king, the son of a famous demon, while the other is a salted fish who has listened to Buddha preach the Dharma for countless years. Both of you can be considered knowledgeable in your world. Do you know how to treat such a minor illness?”
Red Boy and Salted Fish understood the gravity of the situation. It was no wonder this frivolous master of theirs had suddenly turned so serious.
The two didn’t dare laugh it off either. Red Boy stroked his chin and said, “Master, you call that a minor illness? It really seems you know nothing about the soul and body. I once heard that soul illnesses aren’t hard to treat, and neither are ailments of the body, but when there’s a problem with the connection between soul and body, it’s a major illness!”
Fangzheng’s heart tensed up as he pressed for more information. “Just tell me whether it’s treatable.”
Red Boy said with a wry smile, “Master, if this were the Earth Immortal World, I might have some solutions. But I can’t use any of my means here. Don’t ask; I know what you wish to ask. First, I’d need jade, real jade that contains Heaven Earth Essential Qi, not the kind of pretty stones you find on the market.
“I’d have to match the jade with all kinds of wondrous treasures to set up an array to protect the soul and body. Then, I’d let them consume some precious herbs. I don’t dare say that it would treat the problem at its roots, but it would nonetheless heal them quite rapidly. But these things aren’t available on Earth. Therefore, I don’t have any solutions. After all, I’ve never studied medicine…”
Fangzheng nodded. He had often listened to Red Boy prattle on about his past. This poor child had really been left to the elements. The Bull Demon King was really different from the elders on Earth. He didn’t value his son, and instead Bull Demon King was more like a modern youth who preferred focussing on girls.
Red Boy had recounted a story before involving an elder sister he had. She was slightly older than him and was more petulant than him. She had smashed many of the Bull Demon King’s treasures, but all he did was laugh in response.
But when it came to Red Boy, if he drank some milk and cried a bit, it would end with him suffering a tirade for half an hour…
Later on, the Bull Demon King refused to have his daughter marry anyone, nor did she wish to be married. She stayed at home and was the standard example of a child leeching on her parents. However, the Bull Demon King was utterly delighted…
Yet when it came to Red Boy, the moment he could start crawling, he was given a staff by the Bull Demon King and thrown into a cave. He was sent out to survive on his own, euphemistically calling it ‘giving him the chance to become independent early’!
So the moment Red Boy could walk, he was given a red-ta.s.seled spear and formally thrown out of the house to live on his own.
More than once, Fangzheng had imagined that Red Boy’s True Samadhi Fire probably hadn’t been cultivated but was a result of his pent up anger. Thankfully, Red Boy still had quite a good mother who protected and loved him. All sorts of beauties and treasures were given to him, preventing him from becoming a true vagrant.
As for Princess Iron Fan, she wasn’t adept at treating illnesses, so Red Boy was like a child brought up in the wild. For him to be able to come up with any method of treatment was already quite amazing. Therefore, Fangzheng expressed his understanding and cast his gaze to Salted Fish.
Salted Fish sat on the ground, his fins holding up his chin as he said in all seriousness, “As an ancestor, I’ve contemplated for quite a while…”
“Then?” asked Fangzheng.
Salted Fish glanced at Fangzheng and said in all seriousness, “Finally, I found something which Buddha once said in my extensive memories! Back then, an arhat mentioned the treatment of a similar illness. It was quite similar to what Jingxin said.”
“What did Buddha say?” Fangzheng became excited. Buddha definitely had a better method with how amazing he was!
Salted Fish mimicked Buddha like he was an elderly senior. “Amitabha. Arhat, you are right!”
Fangzheng immediately had the urge to beat the darn fish to death. Wasn’t this the same as not saying anything? However, Fangzheng didn’t give up. Salted Fish’s value hadn’t been wrung dry yet, so it was still too early to beat him. Fangzheng held back.
He tried hard to maintain his charming smile and asked, “Didn’t Buddha mention any other solution?”
Salted Fish looked at Fangzheng in all seriousness and said, “Yes!”
“What did he say?” Red Boy turned anxious as well. He already treated Lone Wolf, Monkey, and Squirrel as family. He was also worried about their health problems.
Salted Fish looked seriously at the two as he enunciated each and every word. “I found it boring, so I fell asleep.”
Asleep… Asleep? You slept!?
Those words repeated in Fangzheng and Red Boy’s minds. This darn fish actually slept at such a time! Both of them exchanged looks…
The next moment, Salted Fish flew high into the sky!
“Ah! You are too much!” Salted Fish flew as Red Boy did a reverse spin kick.
Salted Fish flew back and cursed. “It was boring! Why couldn’t I sleep? It was just a nap…”
“Amitabha. Take this palm strike of This Penniless Monk!” Fangzheng struck out his palm.
Pa!
“Ah!” Salted Fish flew out again.
Hearing Salted Fish’s tragic cries, Lone Wolf, Monkey, and Squirrel ran over. Upon seeing Salted Fish flying in the sky, spinning in midair from time to time and creating a parabolic trajectory, the three animals shook their heads helplessly.
Lone Wolf said, “So it’s because Master got bored that he ran off with Salted Fish to beat him.”
“A standard sport of One Finger Monastery. Eat, sleep, beat Salted Fish,” Monkey mumbled.
Squirrel smacked his lips and said with some pity, “But, isn’t this a little too ruthless?”
At this moment, Salted Fish flew across the sky and saw the bean bun in Squirrel’s hands. The darn fish immediately yelled, “Little Fatty, leave me one! Once I’m done flying, I’ll be eating it!”
The moment Squirrel heard the words “Little Fatty,” a dark cloud hung over his head. He immediately stuffed the bean bun into his mouth and ate it. At the same time, he climbed up the wall and flailed his tiny paws, roaring. “Nice strike! Well done! Master, hit higher! Fourth Junior Brother, do a reverse spin kick…”