The Mule-Bone

Chapter 12

SIMMS: We"se liable to havea new Mayor when all dis dust settle. Well, I better scuffle on down de road. (Exits, left.)

SISTER THOMAS: Lord, lemme gwan home an" put dese greens on. (Looks off stage left) Here come Mayor Clark now, wid his belly settin" out in front of him like a cow catcher! His name oughter be Mayor Belly.

SISTER TAYLOR: (Arms akimbo) Jus" look at him! Tryin" to look like a jigadier Breneral.

(Enter CLARK hot and perspiring. They look at him coldly.)

CLARK: I G.o.d, de bear got me! (Silence for a moment) How y"all feelin", ladies?

SISTER TAYLOR: Brother Mayor, I ain"t one of these folks dat bite my tongue an" bust my gall--whut"s inside got to come out! I can"t see to my rest why you cloakin" in wid dese Baptist buzzards "ginst yo" own church.

MAYOR CLARK: I ain"t cloakin" in wid _none_. I"m de Mayor of dis whole town I stands for de right an" ginst de wrong--I don"t keer who it kill or cure.

SISTER THOMAS: You think it"s right to be runnin" dat boy off for nothin"?

CLARK: I G.o.d! You call knockin" a man in de head wid a mule bone nothin"? "Nother thin; I done missed nine of my best-layin" hens. I ain"t sayin" Jim got "em, but different people has tole me he burries a powerful lot of feathers in his back yard. I G.o.d, I"m a ruint man!

(He starts towards the right exit, but LUM BOGER enters right.) I G.o.d, Lum, I been lookin" for you all day. It"s almost three o"clock. (Hands him a key from his ring) Take dis key an" go fetch Jim Weston on to de church.

LUM: Have you got yo" gavel from de lodge-room?

CLARK: I G.o.d, that"s right, Lum. I"ll go get it from de lodge room whilst you go git de bone an" de prisoner. Hurry up! You walk like dead lice droppin" off you. (He exits right while LUM crosses stage towards left.)

SISTER TAYLOR: Lum, Elder Simms been huntin" you--he"s gone on down "bout de barn. (She gestures)

LUM BOGER: I reckon I"ll overtake him. (Exit left.)

SISTER THOMAS: I better go put dese greens on. My husband will kill me if he don"t find no supper ready. Here come Mrs. Blunt. She oughter feel like a penny"s worth of have-mercy wid all dis stink behind her daughter.

SISTER TAYLOR: Chile, some folks don"t keer. They don"t raise they chillun; they drags "em up. G.o.d knows if dat Daisy wuz mine, I"d throw her down an" put a hundred lashes on her back wid a plow-line. Here she come in de store Sat"day night (Acts coy and coquettish, burlesques DAISY"S walk) a wringing and a twisting!

(Enter MRS. BLUNT, left.)

MRS. BLUNT: How y"all sisters?

SISTER THOMAS: Very well, Miz Blunt, how you?

MRS. BLUNT: Oh, so-so.

MRS. TAYLOR: I"m kickin", but not high.

MRS. BLUNT: Well, thank G.o.d you still on prayin" ground an" in a Bible country. Me, I ain"t so many today. De n.i.g.g.e.rs got my Daisy"s name all mixed up in dis mess.

MRS. TAYLOR: You musn"t mind dat, Sister Blunt. People jus" _will_ talk. They"s talkin" in New York an" they"s talkin" in Georgy an"

they"s talkin" in Italy.

SISTER THOMAS: Chile, if you talk folkses talk, they"ll have you in de graveyard or in Chattahoochee one. You can"t pay no "tention to talk.

MRS. BLUNT: Well, I know one thing. De man or women, chick or child, grizzly or gray, that tells me to my face anything wrong "bout _my_ chile, I"m goin" to take _my_ fist (Rolls up right sleeve and gestures with right fist) and knock they teeth down they throat. (She looks ferocious) "Case y"all know I raised my Daisy right round my feet till I let her go up north last year wid them white folks. I"d ruther her to be in de white folks" kitchen than walkin" de streets like some of dese girls round here. If I do say so, I done raised a lady. She can"t help it if all dese mens get stuck on her.

MRS. TAYLOR: You"se tellin" de truth, Sister Blunt. That"s whut I always say: Don"t confidence dese n.i.g.g.e.rs. Do, they"ll sho put you in de street.

MRS. THOMAS: Naw indeed, never syndicate wid n.i.g.g.e.rs. Do, they will distriminate you. They"ll be an _anybody_. You goin" to de trial, ain"t you?

MRS. BLUNT: Just as sho as you snore. An" they better leave Daisy"s name outa dis, too. I done told her and told her to come straight home from her work. Naw, she had to stop by dat store and skin her gums back wid dem trashy n.i.g.g.e.rs. She better not leave them white folks today to come traipsin" over here scornin" her name all up wid dis n.i.g.g.e.r mess. Do, I"ll kill her. No daughter of mine ain"t goin" to do as she please, long as she live under de sound of my voice. (She crosses to right.)

MRS. THOMAS: That"s right, Sister Blunt. I glory in yo" s.p.u.n.k. Lord, I better go put on my supper.

(As MRS. BLUNT exits, right, REV. CHILDERS enters left with DAVE and DEACON LINDSAY and SISTER LEWIS. Very hostile glances from SISTERS THOMAS and TAYLOR toward the others.)

CHILDERS: Good evenin", folks.

(SISTERS THOMAS and TAYLOR just grunt. MRS. THOMAS moves a step or two towards exit. Flirts her skirts and exits.)

LINDSAY: (Angrily) Whut"s de matter, y"all? Cat got yo" tongue?

MRS. TAYLOR: More matter than you kin scatter all over Cincinnatti.

LINDSAY: Go "head on, Lucy Taylor. Go "head on. You know a very little of yo" sugar sweetens my coffee. Go "head on. Everytime you lift yo"

arm you smell like a nest of yellow hammers.

MRS. TAYLOR: Go "head on yo"self. Yo" head look like it done wore out three bodies. Talkin" "bout _me_ smellin"--you smell lak a nest of grand daddies yo"self.

LINDSAY: Aw rock on down de road, "oman. Ah, don"t wantuh change words wid yuh. Youse too ugly.

MRS. TAYLOR: You ain"t n.o.body"s pretty baby, yo"self. You so ugly I betcha yo" wife have to spread uh sheet over yo" head tuh let sleep slip up on yuh.

LINDSAY: (Threatening) You better git way from me while you able. I done tole you I don"t wanter break a breath wid you. It"s uh whole heap better tuh walk off on yo" own legs than it is to be toted off.

I"m tired of yo" achin" round here. You fool wid me now an" I"ll knock you into doll rags, Tony or no Tony.

MRS. TAYLOR: (Jumping up in his face) Hit me? Hit me! I dare you tuh hit me. If you take dat dare, you"ll steal uh hawg an" eat his hair.

LINDSAY: Lemme gwan down to dat church befo" you make me stomp you.

(He exits, right.)

MRS. TAYLOR: You mean you"ll _git_ stomped. Ah"m goin" to de trial, too. De nex trial gointer be _me_ for kickin" some uh you Baptist n.i.g.g.e.rs around.

(A great noise is heard off stage left. The angry and jeering voices of children. MRS. TAYLOR looks off left and takes a step or two towards left exit as the noise comes nearer.)

VOICE OF ONE CHILD: Tell her! Tell her! Turn her up and smell her. Yo"

mama ain"t got nothin" to do wid me.

MRS. TAYLOR: (Hollering off left) You lil Baptis" haitians leave them chillun alone. If you don"t, you better!

(Enter about ten children struggling and wrestling in a bunch. MRS.

TAYLOR looks about on the ground for a stick to strike the children with.)

VOICE OF CHILD: Hey! Hey! He"s skeered tuh knock it off. Coward!

MRS. TAYLOR: If y"all don"t git on home!

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