He never suspected for a moment that the eminent firm of Hatch & Buckley had wilfully deceived him, for Mr. Hatch"s partner almost cried with vexation and disappointment when he found that the woman and child he pointed out were not the "parties" they were looking for. Indeed, Mr. Buckley"s grief was so poignant that Von Barwig almost felt sorry for the man, who declared that his professional honour as a detective was ruined from that moment. It was, in this case, for Von Barwig made up his mind at once never to employ him again.
The summer twilight was fast deepening into night as Von Barwig sat staring out of his window, looking at the pa.s.sers-by and seeing them not. He rebelled against fate, conditions, life; and for the first time in his career he railed at his Creator. He had asked for light, and no light came in answer to his prayer; only more darkness, more disappointment, more loneliness. He sat with bowed head, wondering what was the meaning of it all. Who could solve the problem; who could straighten out his tangled life; who could explain it? Was the devil really and truly greater than G.o.d--the G.o.d who is Love?
Von Barwig had read Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Haeckel, all the school of pessimistic philosophers that exercised such a tremendous influence upon the thought of his day; but he had always instinctively rebelled against the nihilism of their creed, the creed of materialism. Yet, at this moment he was perilously near to believing that the force for evil was greater than the force for good. There was no love in his life; and for him love was life itself. As he sat there with eyes fixed and staring, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, he thought over the events that had come to him since his sojourn in America. For the past seven years he had devoted every thought, every energy, and nearly every penny he had to the search for his loved ones. And he had failed, failed, failed.
When the first shock of his loss came upon him in Leipsic he had asked himself the meaning of it, and the answer had come to him that Art had been his mistress, and that she had stepped in between him and the ones he loved. He had been selfish, he had loved his Art as much, more perhaps, than his own flesh and blood--and this was his punishment.
Yet he had given up his mistress, Art; he no longer lived for her; he would live for his wife and child, if he could only find them, if, if, if! He felt that there was indeed nothing to live for! Then why live, he asked himself? Better be dead; far better be dead! Who would care if he were no more? At this moment Von Barwig caught himself up, and realising his own danger refused to allow himself to drift along that line of thought. Life meant nothing to him now, but live he must, live he would; that he was determined on. Complex as the problem was, he would go on with it. He was not a coward, and for this he thanked his Creator.
In thanking Him he gained a little courage, and he asked for a sign, something to indicate that he was not the sport of fate, the creature of circ.u.mstance; something, anything, to indicate that G.o.d had not completely forgotten him. With bowed head Von Barwig prayed that he might be saved from himself; that thoughts of self-destruction might never again come into his mind; for he felt that he might not always have the power to reject them. He asked that the desire to live might again come upon him; for it dawned upon him that perhaps his duty lay in the direction of serving others. Desire is prayer, and Von Barwig"s prayer was answered, for when he looked into the street he saw life once more. Opening his window he heard the voices of the children at play. He saw their joy, and rejoicing with them, he thanked G.o.d that he could rejoice. As he arose from his chair he sighed, a deep, deep sigh, and the darkest moment in his life had pa.s.sed.
"Was that a knock?" Anton asked himself as he turned toward his door.
"Surely not a visitor?"
Lighting his lamp, he looked at the cuckoo clock upon the wall. It said a quarter past nine o"clock; he had not heard the cuckoo strike seven, eight, or nine!
"Phew!" he whistled, "I had no idea it was so late." Again the timid little knock.
"Surely I can"t be mistaken again," thought Von Barwig, and walking to the door he threw it wide open.
To his utter astonishment, a little girl in a white night-gown stood there, silently sobbing as if her heart would break.
"Why, Jenny, Jenny!" and Von Barwig, taking the trembling child in his arms, placed her gently in his armchair. "Jenny, my dear child."
"I--I--couldn"t go to sleep until I"d said good-night; I tried to but I couldn"t," sobbed Jenny as soon as she could speak coherently.
"Why, what has happened?" asked Von Barwig, as he covered her with a travelling rug.
"You asked me to be your little girl, and then, when I said "Yes," you didn"t answer; and I--thought--you--were--angry--with--me--because--because!
When--you--came--in, I felt so sorry for you, and you looked so unhappy that I had to come down and ask you to forgive me. I--I just couldn"t help--it. You"re not angry, are you?"
"My dear, dear little girl. I, angry?" Von Barwig shook his head.
"How could I be angry with you? Why should I? Why, it"s--it"s impossible!" and Von Barwig laughed at the very idea. Jenny sighed deeply and remained silent; she seemed contented simply to be with him.
After a few moments" silence Von Barwig looked at her.
"Is this my answer; is this--my--answer?" he thought, and then he said slowly, "I am glad, more glad than I can ever tell you, that you have come to me at this moment."
He looked at the girl thoughtfully; she was not his little Helene, but he would try to love her as if she were. Von Barwig took her hand in his and tenderly stroked her cheek.
"You shall be my little girl, my little one, eh, eh? You shall!"
"Yes," nodded Jenny, smiling happily, "I"ll be your little girl, if you"ll have me." And from that moment Von Barwig never again felt quite alone in the world.
At this instant a loud scream was heard, followed by another, and still another.
Von Barwig rushed into the hallway, followed by Jenny.
"She"s gone, gone! jumped out of the window!" screamed Miss Husted, from the top floor. "Look! the window"s open, and she"s gone; jumped out--gone."
"Who, who?" shouted Thurza, rushing upstairs.
"Jenny, Jenny!" wailed Miss Husted--so excited that she was almost beside herself.
Jenny and Von Barwig looked at one another in astonishment and the little girl hurried after Thurza, arriving upstairs just in time to prevent her aunt from going into hysterics.
"Here I am, auntie," she said, and Miss Husted was so delighted to see her niece again, that she forgot to scold her. As she came downstairs after satisfying herself that Jenny was not only safe and sound, but in her usual health--she found Herr Von Barwig at the foot of the stairs waiting for her.
"She is all right, eh, madam?"
"Oh, yes," responded that lady, pleased that Herr Von Barwig should be interested in the welfare of any member of her family.
"She is a good child; I like her very much, very much."
"Yes, Jenny is a very good girl; her father was a member of one of the oldest New York families, quite the aristocrat let me tell you!"
"Ah, yes. Her father is dead?" repeated Von Barwig, "and her mother also?" he asked.
"I am her only living relative," sighed Miss Husted.
"Ah, I am glad of that," said Von Barwig simply, "Yes--I--Jenny and I have come to an understanding. I am her--what you call--not father-in-law--her--her----"
Von Barwig fumbled a little with the English language until he made Miss Husted understand that he had taken her niece under his wing, so to speak; and hoped that she would have no objection. On the contrary, Miss Husted was highly pleased, for one of her lodgers had told her that Von Barwig had been a great man in Germany.
"I shall go out to dinner. Is there a restaurant near here that you can recommend?" asked Von Barwig. "Dinner? Why it"s nearly ten o"clock!" replied Miss Hasted, "let me get you a cup of tea."
"No, thank you, madam. I must go into the street, into the _cafe_, where there is life, and people; I must get away from myself. Here I think too much my own thoughts. Where did you say?"
"Galazatti"s across the street is a nice little _cafe_," she replied, "and he serves a nice _table d"hote_."
"Ah, I shall go there, then. Thank you, madame. Good-night!" and Von Barwig bowing to Miss Husted, closed the front door quietly and went into the street.
Chapter Seven
When Anton arose the next morning after a refreshing night"s rest, he became conscious that he was looking at the world through different coloured spectacles; and that there was no longer a dull feeling of despair gnawing at his heart. For the first time in many years his plans for the day did not include a search in this or that direction for his lost ones. It was not that he had forgotten, but he thought of them now as dead and gone; and this certainty, this lack of suspense, lightened his heart to such an extent that his manner was almost buoyant. Realising the fact that he had spent nearly all of the large sum of money he brought with him from Germany, he thought of his future, his welfare. To do for others, he must first do for himself; he must think of his music again; in short, he must earn a living. So, after a light breakfast at Galazatti"s, he took an inventory of his available a.s.sets. They included some old music; some compositions which he would now try to sell; a genuine Amati violin worth at least three thousand dollars; a grand piano; one or two paintings; some silverware, presents, and jewelry; and about eight hundred dollars in cash.
Von Barwig was completely bewildered; he had purposely avoided meeting musicians in New York and scarcely any one knew him; those who had known him by reputation had now completely forgotten his existence. He had not felt sufficient interest in affairs going on around him to realise the state of musical art in America, so he scarcely knew how to begin. It seemed like the commencement of a new life. The period was that between Jenny Lind and Adelina Patti, and he soon realised that musical art was at its lowest ebb. There were one or two ambitious orchestra conductors in America; one in Chicago trying to introduce the Wagnerian polyphonic school, and perhaps one or two in New York; but the public clamoured after divas, prima donnas and tenors with temperaments and vocal pyrotechnic skill. For orchestral music there was little demand. Wagner was as yet unknown to the public--certainly he was unheard except on the rarest occasions and the majority of musicians did not like him because he was difficult to play.
So it happened that Von Barwig"s compositions, which were of the modern German school and rather heavy, did not find a ready market, in fact they did not find a market at all. Day after day he would visit the music stores with his music roll tucked under his arm. After a few months the music publishers used to smile when they saw him coming into their places of business, and shake their heads before he had a chance even to show them his ma.n.u.scripts. As time went on he came to be a byword among them.
"Here comes poor old Von Barwig," they would say, and then they would smile at his earnest face with its sad, longing expression and sympathise with him for his beautiful smile of resignation as he folded up his package of compositions and went sadly away. They admired his technical skill, but thought him very foolish to waste his time on such "stuff" as they called it. They advised him to write for the hour, and not for posterity.
"You must give the public what they want," said Schumein.
"How can you tell what they want if you don"t try?" pleaded Von Barwig.
"If you give them only what you acknowledge is bad, how will they ever know what is better?"