But now she trembled and cringed on the verge of a catastrophe that withheld its whole truth.
"I begin to see now," she whispered, after the thought had come and gone and returned to change again. "If Wilson had--cared for me I--I might have--cared, too.... But I do--care--something. I couldn"t lie to dad.
Only I"m not sure--how much. I never dreamed of--of _loving_ him, or any one. It"s so strange. All at once I feel old. And I can"t understand these--these feelings that shake me."
So Columbine brooded over the trouble that had come to her, never regretting her promise to the old rancher, but growing keener in the realization of a complexity in her nature that sooner or later would separate the life of her duty from the life of her desire. She seemed all alone, and when this feeling possessed her a strange reminder of the hunter Wade flashed up. She stifled another impulse to confide in him.
Wade had the softness of a woman, and his face was a record of the trials and travails through which he had come unhardened, unembittered.
Yet how could she tell her troubles to him? A stranger, a rough man of the wilds, whose name had preceded him, notorious and deadly, with that vital tang of the West in its meaning! Nevertheless, Wade drew her, and she thought of him until the recurring memory of Jack Belllounds"s rude clasp again crept over her with an augmenting disgust and fear. Must she submit to that? Had she promised that? And then Columbine felt the dawning of realities.
CHAPTER VII
Columbine was awakened in the gray dawn by the barking of coyotes. She dreaded the daylight thus heralded. Never before in her life had she hated the rising of the sun. Resolutely she put the past behind her and faced the future, believing now that with the great decision made she needed only to keep her mind off what might have been, and to attend to her duty.
At breakfast she found the rancher in better spirits than he had been for weeks. He informed her that Jack had ridden off early for Kremmling, there to make arrangements for the wedding on October first.
"Jack"s out of his head," said Belllounds. "Wal, thet comes only onct in a man"s life. I remember ... Jack"s goin" to drive you to Kremmlin" an"
ther take stage fer Denver. I allow you"d better put in your best licks on fixin" up an" packin" the clothes you"ll need. Women-folk naturally want to look smart on weddin"-trips."
"Dad!" exclaimed Columbine, in dismay. "I never thought of clothes. And I don"t want to leave White Slides."
"But, la.s.s, you"re goin" to be married!" expostulated Belllounds.
"Didn"t it occur to Jack to take me to Kremmling? I can"t make new dresses out of old ones."
"Wal, I reckon neither of us thought of thet. But you can buy what you like in Denver."
Columbine resigned herself. After all, what did it matter to her? The vague, haunting dreams of girlhood would never come true. So she went to her wardrobe and laid out all her wearing apparel. Taking stock of it this way caused her further dismay, for she had nothing fit to wear in which either to be married or to take a trip to Denver. There appeared to be nothing to do but take the rancher"s advice, and Columbine set about refurbishing her meager wardrobe. She sewed all day.
What with self-control and work and the pa.s.sing of hours, Columbine began to make some approach to tranquillity. In her simplicity she even began to hope that being good and steadfast and dutiful would earn her a little meed of happiness. Some haunting doubt of this flashed over her mind like a swift shadow of a black wing, but she dispelled that as she had dispelled the fear and disgust which often rose up in her mind.
To Columbine"s surprise and to the rancher"s concern the prospective bridegroom did not return from Kremmling on the second day. When night came Belllounds reluctantly gave up looking for him.
Jack"s non-appearance suited Columbine, and she would have been glad to be let alone until October first, which date now seemed appallingly close. On the afternoon of Jack"s third day of absence from the ranch Columbine rode out for some needed exercise. p.r.o.nto not being available, she rode another mustang and one that kept her busy. On the way back to the ranch she avoided the customary trail which led by the cabins of Wade and the cowboys. Columbine had not seen one of her friends since the unfortunate visit to the Andrews ranch. She particularly shrank from meeting Wade, which feeling was in strange contrast to her former impulses.
As she rode around the house she encountered Wilson Moore seated in a light wagon. Her mustang reared, almost unseating her. But she handled him roughly, being suddenly surprised and angry at this unexpected meeting with the cowboy.
"Howdy, Columbine!" greeted Wilson, as she brought the mustang to his feet. "You"re sure learning to handle a horse--since I left this here ranch. Wonder who"s teaching you! I never could get you to rake even a bronc!"
The cowboy had drawled out his admiring speech, half amused and half satiric.
"I"m--mad!" declared Columbine. "That"s why."
"What"re you mad at?" queried Wilson.
She did not reply, but kept on gazing steadily at him. Moore still looked pale and drawn, but he had improved since last she saw him.
"Aren"t you going to speak to a fellow?" he went on.
"How are you, Wils?" she asked.
"Pretty good for a club-footed has-been cow puncher."
"I wish you wouldn"t call yourself such names," rejoined Columbine, peevishly. "You"re not a club-foot. I hate that word!"
"Me, too. Well, joking aside, I"m better. My foot is fine. Now, if I don"t hurt it again I"ll sure never be a club-foot."
"You must be careful," she said, earnestly.
"Sure. But it"s hard for me to be idle. Think of me lying still all day with nothing to do but read! That"s what knocked me out. I wouldn"t have minded the pain if I could have gotten about.... Columbine, I"ve moved in!"
"What! Moved in?" she queried, blankly.
"Sure. I"m in my cabin on the hill. It"s plumb great. Tom Andrews and Bert and your hunter Wade fixed up the cabin for me. That Wade is sure a good fellow. And say! what he can do with his hands! He"s been kind to me. Took an interest in me, and between you and me he sort of cheered me up."
"Cheered you up! Wils, were you unhappy?" she asked, directly.
"Well, rather. What"d you expect of a cowboy who"d crippled himself--and lost his girl?"
Columbine felt the smart of tingling blood in her face, and she looked from Wilson to the wagon. It contained saddles, blankets, and other cowboy accoutrements for which he had evidently come.
"That"s a double misfortune," she replied, evenly. "It"s too bad both came at once. It seems to me if I were a cowboy and--and felt so toward a girl, I"d have let her know."
"This girl I mean knew, all right," he said, nodding his head.
"She didn"t--she didn"t!" cried Columbine.
"How do you know?" he queried, with feigned surprise. He was bent upon torturing her.
"You meant me. I"m the girl you lost!"
"Yes, you are--G.o.d help me!" replied Moore, with genuine emotion.
"But you--you never told me--you never told me," faltered Columbine, in distress.
"Never told you what? That you were my girl?"
"No--no. But that you--you cared--"
"Columbine Belllounds, I told you--let you see--in every way under the sun," he flashed at her.
"Let me see--what?" faltered Columbine, feeling as if the world were about to end.
"That I loved you."
"Oh!... Wilson!" whispered Columbine, wildly.
"Yes--loved you. Could you have been so innocent--so blind you never knew? I can"t believe it."