The Naturewoman

Chapter 5

[She stares at them, perplexed.]

MRS. MASTERSON. You don"t understand our ways, Anna...

OCEANA. No, no... I don"t. I don"t think I ever can. You"d let some man come and make love to Ethel... and you"d never warn her?

ETHEL. They warned me to turn my toes out when I walked, and not to eat fish with a knife.

MRS. MASTERSON. If this conversation is to go on, I insist that the children shall leave the room.



OCEANA. Oh, I"m awfully sorry, Aunt Sophronia! Why, I didn"t mean any harm. It"s all so real to me. [She gazes from one to the other, hoping for some sign of a thaw.] Just think... these were the people that I"d loved... that I"d grown up with all my life. I"d fished in their canoes, I"d hunted with them and basked on the beach with them. I"d watched the young men and girls dancing their love-dances in the moonlit glades... [She pauses again.] Oughtn"t I to talk about THAT?

DR. MASTERSON. My dear girl...

OCEANA. [Stares at them; a sudden idea occurs to her.] Perhaps I ought to explain to you... you"re no doubt wondering. I"m a virgin myself, you know.

MRS. MASTERSON. [Starting up.] OH!

LEt.i.tIA. Oceana!

OCEANA. But weren"t you thinking of that?

MRS. MASTERSON. Why, of course not!

OCEANA. But Aunt Sophronia! You know you were!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Sputters.] Oh! OH!

OCEANA. You were thinking to yourself, this girl"s been playing around on the beaches with savages... and what"s been happening to her?

DR. MASTERSON. My dear niece, I"m afraid you"ll have to take some account of our civilized prejudices. We simply don"t say everything that we think.

OCEANA. [Springing up.] Oh, dear me! I"m so sorry! I didn"t mean to make you unhappy! I was going to be so good. I was going to try to conform to everything. Why, just think of it, Aunt Sophronia... in Rio I actually bought a pair of corsets. And I tried to wear them. I. .. Oceana! Around my waist! Think of it! [She looks for sympathy.] I couldn"t stand them... I climbed to the topmast and threw them to the sharks. But now it seems that you all wear corsets on your minds and souls. [A pause.] Never mind... let"s talk about something else. I"m getting restless. You see... I"m not used to being in a room... it seems like a box to me... I can hardly breathe. The air in here is dreadful... hadn"t any of you noticed? [Silence. Apparently n.o.body had.] Would you mind if I opened a window?

MRS. MASTERSON. It is storming outside, Anna.

OCEANA. Yes, but one can exercise and keep warm. just a minute... please. [She flings up a window; a gale blows in.] Ah, feel that!

[MRS. MASTERSON, LEt.i.tIA and DR. MASTERSON draw away from the window.]

MRS. MASTERSON. This is simply outrageous!

LEt.i.tIA. It is beyond all words!

DR. MASTERSON. My dear, consider...

MRS. MASTERSON. I won"t have that creature in my house a minute longer.

DR. MASTERSON. My dear, be reasonable!

LEt.i.tIA. REASONABLE?

DR. MASTERSON. Consider what is at stake!

MRS. MASTERSON. But what hope have we to get anything out of such a woman?

DR. MASTERSON. We have some hope, I"m sure. If we...

MRS. MASTERSON. Didn"t you hear her say she"d come home for nothing but the money?

DR. MASTERSON. Yes... but at least she"s honest enough to say it, Sophronia. And she"s here as our guest... she wants to be friendly ... don"t let it come to an open break with her!

LEt.i.tIA. But how can we HELP it, father?

DR. MASTERSON. It"s just a matter of letting her talk. And what harm will that do us?

MRS. MASTERSON. But we can"t lock her up in the house. And can we introduce her to our friends? Tomorrow night, for instance!

DR. MASTERSON. We must manage it somehow. When we"ve once had an understanding with her, it won"t take long to get the papers signed, and after that we won"t care. Control yourself, Sophronia, I implore you! Don"t let your prejudices ruin us!

ETHEL. [Steals to them, in agitation.] Mother, CAN"T you be good to her? You don"t understand her at all.

MRS. MASTERSON. [Coldly.] Thank you, Ethel...

ETHEL. [To FREDDY, who joins them.] Can"t you say something to them, Freddy? They treat her so badly.

FREDDY. They hate her, Ethel! They couldn"t understand her.

[OCEANA takes deep breaths, expelling them in short, sharp puffs.]

LEt.i.tIA. What in the world are you doing?

OCEANA. That"s one of the Yogi exercises. Haven"t any of you studied the Vedantas?

LEt.i.tIA. We are all Episcopalians here, Oceana.

OCEANA. Oh, I see!

[She takes a deep breath and then pounds her chest like a gorilla.]

MRS. MASTERSON. And pray, what is THAT?

OCEANA. I"m just getting some of the civilization out of my lungs.

[A furious gale blows.]

MRS. MASTERSON. Really, my dear, we shall have to leave the room. We"ll all catch our death of cold.

OCEANA. My dear Aunt Sophronia, n.o.body ever caught a cold from winter air. Colds come from over-eating and bad ventilation. [She closes the window.] However, there you are! [Eagerly.] Now, let"s have something beautiful-so that I can forget my blunders. Let"s have some music. Will you play for me, Cousin Let.i.tia?

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