Then she drew a long steady breath, thrust out her strong white hand to see if the fingers trembled; went down the stairs, and, without knocking, opened the smoking-room door and went straight in, closing it behind her. There was a screen to be pa.s.sed round.
She pa.s.sed round it.
And he sat there on the couch looking at her.
II
For the first instant she remained there standing motionless; it was like a declaration of war. In one or two of her fragmentary rehearsals upstairs she had supposed she would say something conventional to begin with. But the reality struck conventionality clean out of the realm of the possible. Her silent pause there was as significant as the crouch of a hound; and she perceived that it was recognized to be so by the other that was there. There was in him that quick, silent alertness she had expected: half defiant, half timid, as of a fierce beast that expects a blow.
Then she came a step forward and sideways to a chair, sat down in it with a swift, almost menacing motion, and remained there still looking.
This is what she saw:
There was the familiar background, the dark paneled wall, the engraving, and the shelf of books convenient to the hand; the fire was on her right, and the couch opposite. Upon the couch sat the figure of the boy she knew so well.
He was in the same suit in which he had traveled; he had not even changed his shoes; they were splashed a little with London mud. These things she noticed in the minutes that followed, though she kept her eyes upon his face.
The face itself was beyond her power of a.n.a.lysis. Line for line it was Laurie"s features, mouth, eyes and hair; yet its signification was not Laurie"s. One that was akin looked at her from out of those windows of the soul--scrutinized her cautiously, questioningly, and suspiciously.
It was the face of an enemy who waits. And she sat and looked at it.
A full minute must have pa.s.sed before she spoke. The face had dropped its eyes after the first long look, as if in a kind of relaxation, and remained motionless, staring at the fire in a sort of dejection. Yet beneath, she perceived plainly, there was the same alert hostility; and when she spoke the eyes rose again with a quick furtive attentiveness. The semi-intelligent beast was soothed, but not yet rea.s.sured.
"Laurie?" she said.
The lips moved a little in answer; then again the face glanced down sideways at the fire; the hands dangled almost helplessly between the knees.
There was an appearance of weakness about the att.i.tude that astonished and encouraged her; it appeared as if matters were not yet consummated. Yet she had a sense of nausea at the sight....
"Laurie?" she said again suddenly.
Again the lips moved as if speaking rapidly, and the eyes looked up at her quick and suspicious.
"Well?" said the mouth; and still the hands dangled.
"Laurie," she said steadily, bending all her will at the words, "you"re very unwell. Do you understand that?"
Again the noiseless gabbling of the lips, and again a little commonplace sentence, "I"m all right."
His voice was unnatural--a little hoa.r.s.e, and quite toneless. It was as a voice from behind a mask.
"No," said Maggie carefully, "you"re not all right. Listen, Laurie. I tell you you"re all wrong; and I"ve come to help you as well as I can.
Will you do your best? I"m speaking to _you_, Laurie ... to _you_."
Every time he answered, the lips flickered first as in rapid conversation--as of a man seen talking through a window; but this time he stammered a little over his vowels.
"I--I--I"m all right."
Maggie leaned forward, her hands clasped tightly, and her eyes fixed steadily on that baffling face.
"Laurie; it"s you I"m speaking to--_you_.... Can you hear me? Do _you_ understand?"
Again the eyes rose quick and suspicious; and her hands knit yet more closely together as she fought down the rising nausea. She drew a long breath first; then she delivered a little speech which she had half rehea.r.s.ed upstairs. As she spoke he looked at her again.
"Laurie," she said, "I want you to listen to me very carefully, and to trust me. I know what is the matter with you; and I think you know too. You can"t fight--fight him by yourself.... Just hold on as tightly as you can to me--with your mind, I mean. Do you understand?"
For a moment she thought that he perceived something of what she meant: he looked at her so earnestly with those odd questioning eyes.
Then he jerked ever so slightly, as if some string had been suddenly pulled, and glanced down again at the fire....
"I ... I ... I"m all right," he said.
It was horrible to see that motionlessness of body. He sat there as he had probably sat since entering the room. His eyes moved, but scarcely his head; and his hands hung down helplessly.
"Laurie ... attend ..." she began again. Then she broke off.
"Have you prayed, Laurie...? Do you understand what has happened to you? You aren"t really ill--at least, not exactly, but--"
Again those eyes lifted, looked, and dropped again.
It was piteous. For the instant the sense of nausea vanished, swallowed up in emotion. Why ... why, he was there all the while--Laurie ... dear Laurie....
With one motion, swift and impetuous, she had thrown herself forward on to her knees, and clasped at the hanging hands.
"Laurie! Laurie!" she cried. "You haven"t prayed ... you"ve been playing, and the machinery has caught you. But it isn"t too late! Oh, G.o.d! it"s not too late. Pray with me! Say the Our Father...."
Again slowly the eyes moved round. He had started ever so little at her rush, and the seizing of his hands; and now she felt those hands moving weakly in her own, as of a sleeping child who tries to detach himself from his mother"s arms.
"I ... I ... I"m all--"
She grasped his hands more fiercely, staring straight up into those strange piteous eyes that revealed so little, except formless commotion and uneasiness.
"Say the Our Father with me. "Our Father--""
Then his hands tore back, with a movement as fierce as her own, and the eyes blazed with an unreal light. She still clung to his wrists, looking up, struck with a paralysis of fear at the change, and the furious hostility that flamed up in the face. The lips writhed back, half snarling, half smiling....
"Let go! let go!" he hissed at her. "What are you--"
"The Our Father, Laurie ... the Our--"
He wrenched himself backwards, striking her under the chin with his knee. The couch slid backwards a foot against the wall, and he was on his feet. She remained terror-stricken, shocked, looking up at the dully flushed face that glared down on her.
"Laurie! Laurie...! Don"t you understand? Say one prayer--"
"How dare you?" he whispered; "how dare you--"
She stood up suddenly--wrenching her will back to self-command. Her breath still came quick and panting; and she waited until once more she breathed naturally. And all the while he stood looking down at her with eyes of extraordinary malevolence.
"Well, will you sit quietly and listen?" she said. "Will you do that?"