"I"ve seen a lot of pictures, and learnt a lot about them--at the Pitti and the Brera,--the Brera is wonderful--wonderful places,--but it isn"t like real study," she was saying presently.... "We bought bales of photographs," she said.
I thought the bales a little out of keeping.
But fair-haired and quite simply and yet graciously and fancifully dressed, talking of art and beautiful things and a beautiful land, and with so much manifest regret for learning denied, she seemed a different kind of being altogether from my smart, hard, high-coloured, black-haired and resolutely hatted cousin; she seemed translucent beside Gertrude. Even the little twist and droop of her slender body was a grace to me.
I liked her from the moment I saw her, and set myself to interest and please her as well as I knew how.
We recalled a case of ragging that had rustled the shrubs of Newnham, and then Chris Robinson"s visit--he had given a talk to Bennett Hall also--and our impression of him.
"He disappointed me, too," said Margaret.
I was moved to tell Margaret something of my own views in the matter of social progress, and she listened--oh! with a kind of urged attention, and her brow a little more knitted, very earnestly. The little curate desisted from the appendices and refuse heaps and general debris of his story, and made himself look very alert and intelligent.
"We did a lot of that when I was up in the eighties," he said. "I"m glad Imperialism hasn"t swamped you fellows altogether."
Gertrude, looking bright and confident, came to join our talk from the shrubbery; the initial, a little flushed and evidently in a state of refreshed relationship, came with her, and a cheerful lady in pink and more particularly distinguished by a pink bonnet joined our little group. Gertrude had been sipping admiration and was not disposed to play a pa.s.sive part in the talk.
"Socialism!" she cried, catching the word. "It"s well Pa isn"t here. He has Fits when people talk of socialism. Fits!"
The initial laughed in a general kind of way.
The curate said there was socialism AND socialism, and looked at Margaret to gauge whether he had been too bold in this utterance. But she was all, he perceived, for broad-mindness, and he stirred himself (and incidentally his tea) to still more liberality of expression. He said the state of the poor was appalling, simply appalling; that there were times when he wanted to shatter the whole system, "only," he said, turning to me appealingly, "What have we got to put in its place?"
"The thing that exists is always the more evident alternative," I said.
The little curate looked at it for a moment. "Precisely," he said explosively, and turned stirring and with his head a little on one side, to hear what Margaret was saying.
Margaret was saying, with a swift blush and an effect of daring, that she had no doubt she was a socialist.
"And wearing a gold chain!" said Gertrude, "And drinking out of eggsh.e.l.l! I like that!"
I came to Margaret"s rescue. "It doesn"t follow that because one"s a socialist one ought to dress in sackcloth and ashes."
The initial coloured deeply, and having secured my attention by prodding me slightly with the wrist of the hand that held his teacup, cleared his throat and suggested that "one ought to be consistent."
I perceived we were embarked upon a discussion of the elements. We began an interesting little wrangle one of those crude discussions of general ideas that are dear to the heart of youth. I and Margaret supported one another as socialists, Gertrude and Sybil and the initial maintained an anti-socialist position, the curate attempted a cross-bench position with an air of intending to come down upon us presently with a casting vote. He reminded us of a number of useful principles too often overlooked in argument, that in a big question like this there was much to be said on both sides, that if every one did his or her duty to every one about them there would be no difficulty with social problems at all, that over and above all enactments we needed moral changes in people themselves. My cousin Gertrude was a difficult controversialist to manage, being unconscious of inconsistency in statement and absolutely impervious to reply. Her standpoint was essentially materialistic; she didn"t see why she shouldn"t have a good time because other people didn"t; they would have a good time, she was sure, if she didn"t. She said that if we did give up everything we had to other people, they wouldn"t very likely know what to do with it. She asked if we were so fond of work-people, why we didn"t go and live among them, and expressed the inflexible persuasion that if we HAD socialism, everything would be just the same again in ten years" time. She also threw upon us the imputation of ingrat.i.tude for a beautiful world by saying that so far as she was concerned she didn"t want to upset everything. She was contented with things as they were, thank you.
The discussion led in some way that I don"t in the least recall now, and possibly by abrupt transitions, to a croquet foursome in which Margaret involved the curate without involving herself, and then stood beside me on the edge of the lawn while the others played. We watched silently for a moment.
"I HATE that sort of view," she said suddenly in a confidential undertone, with her delicate pink flush returning.
"It"s want of imagination," I said.
"To think we are just to enjoy ourselves," she went on; "just to go on dressing and playing and having meals and spending money!" She seemed to be referring not simply to my cousins, but to the whole world of industry and property about us. "But what is one to do?" she asked. "I do wish I had not had to come down. It"s all so pointless here. There seems to be nothing going forward, no ideas, no dreams. No one here seems to feel quite what I feel, the sort of need there is for MEANING in things. I hate things without meaning."
"Don"t you do--local work?"
"I suppose I shall. I suppose I must find something. Do you think--if one were to attempt some sort of propaganda?"
"Could you--?" I began a little doubtfully.
"I suppose I couldn"t," she answered, after a thoughtful moment. "I suppose it would come to nothing. And yet I feel there is so much to be done for the world, so much one ought to be doing.... I want to do something for the world."
I can see her now as she stood there with her brows nearly frowning, her blue eyes looking before her, her mouth almost petulant. "One feels that there are so many things going on--out of one"s reach," she said.
I went back in the motor-car with my mind full of her, the quality of delicate discontent, the suggestion of exile. Even a kind of weakness in her was sympathetic. She told tremendously against her background. She was, I say, like a protesting blue flower upon a cinder heap. It is curious, too, how she connects and mingles with the furious quarrel I had with my uncle that very evening. That came absurdly. Indirectly Margaret was responsible. My mind was running on ideas she had revived and questions she had set clamouring, and quite inadvertently in my attempt to find solutions I talked so as to outrage his profoundest feelings....
7
What a preposterous shindy that was!
I sat with him in the smoking-room, propounding what I considered to be the most indisputable and non-contentious propositions conceivable--until, to my infinite amazement, he exploded and called me a "d.a.m.ned young puppy."
It was seismic.
"Tremendously interesting time," I said, "just in the beginning of making a civilisation."
"Ah!" he said, with an averted face, and nodded, leaning forward over his cigar.
I had not the remotest thought of annoying him.
"Monstrous muddle of things we have got," I said, "jumbled streets, ugly population, ugly factories--"
"You"d do a sight better if you had to do with it," said my uncle, regarding me askance.
"Not me. But a world that had a collective plan and knew where it meant to be going would do a sight better, anyhow. We"re all swimming in a flood of ill-calculated chances--"
"You"ll be making out I organised that business down there--by chance--next," said my uncle, his voice thick with challenge.
I went on as though I was back in Trinity.
"There"s a lot of chance in the making of all great businesses," I said.
My uncle remarked that that showed how much I knew about businesses.
If chance made businesses, why was it that he always succeeded and grew while those fools Ackroyd and Sons always took second place? He showed a disposition to tell the glorious history of how once Ackroyd"s overshadowed him, and how now he could buy up Ackroyd"s three times over. But I wanted to get out what was in my mind.
"Oh!" I said, "as between man and man and business and business, some of course get the pull by this quality or that--but it"s forces quite outside the individual case that make the big part of any success under modern conditions. YOU never invented pottery, nor any process in pottery that matters a rap in your works; it wasn"t YOUR foresight that joined all England up with railways and made it possible to organise production on an altogether different scale. You really at the utmost can"t take credit for much more than being the sort of man who happened to fit what happened to be the requirements of the time, and who happened to be in a position to take advantage of them--"
It was then my uncle cried out and called me a d.a.m.ned young puppy, and became involved in some unexpected trouble of his own.
I woke up as it were from my a.n.a.lysis of the situation to discover him bent over a splendid spittoon, cursing incoherently, retching a little, and spitting out the end of his cigar which he had bitten off in his last attempt at self-control, and withal fully prepared as soon as he had cleared for action to give me just all that he considered to be the contents of his mind upon the condition of mine.
Well, why shouldn"t I talk my mind to him? He"d never had an outside view of himself for years, and I resolved to stand up to him. We went at it hammer and tongs! It became clear that he supposed me to be a Socialist, a zealous, embittered hater of all ownership--and also an educated man of the vilest, most pretentiously superior description.
His princ.i.p.al grievance was that I thought I knew everything; to that he recurred again and again....