Uncle Richard stirred. "I think, Jenny, if the offer is still open, I would like some tea after all.
I jumped up and went to see Mrs Crisp. When I came back, Russell had handed him his credit card statements and receipts.
"No, no, Russell, just the statement will be fine. Keep the receipts for your own records. I will a.s.sume that by pa.s.sing me these, you are authorising payment.
Russell paused.
"Yes, I said. "I checked ... them all and everything is correct.
Russell smiled. "You did? Well, thanks very much. I hate doing that. Can you do it every month?
"Of course, if you want me to.
"I very definitely do.
So I had housework to supervise, cooking to learn, gardening to do, and accounts to reconcile. Just like a real person.
Mrs Crisp brought in some tea. In the best cups. Obviously, she liked Uncle Richard. Aunt Julia and Francesca were lucky they didnt get theirs in a bucket.
"I was wondering... said Uncle Richard, accepting a cup. "In fact Julia asked me to ask you ... as a gesture, you understand ... whether, if you arent doing anything tomorrow night, if you would like to ... dine with us?
Fortunately, I wasnt holding anything otherwise wed be a best cup and saucer down and with another unfortunate stain on the rug. Id lived there twenty years and I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times Id actually dined with them. Was this some sort of plot to get me back there? Once I walked in through the door Id never get back out again?
I looked anxiously at Russell, who could add mind-reading to his other accomplishments.
"Why not come here, Richard? Allow the newly-weds to entertain you. And, he said, with amused malice, "youll be able to check out Jennys living conditions at the same time.
Fortunately, he took it as a joke.
"Well, yes, how kind. That would be very kind. Julia and I would be delighted.
Thomas said anxiously, "Will you be cooking at all, Jenny?
Mrs Crisp was thrown into a complete panic.
"Whats the problem? said Russell. "You cook every day. Its just a case of adding two more people.
"Its not that, she said. "Its a dinner party which is completely different. And its been so long. They dine out all over the place. Theyll expect "No, they wont. Its just a family dinner. Me, Jenny, Mr Kingdom, and his Rottweiler. No cause for alarm at all.
She ignored him, reaching for her cookery books. He stopped her.
"Jenny will choose the menu.
This threw me into a complete panic as well.
"Stop, stop, he said. "Everyone just calm down a minute.
Sharon stepped forward with her dazzling smile. "Ill help. I can do dessert if you like.
Kevin muttered something.
"You see, said Russell, apparently understanding this. "h.e.l.l help too.
Mrs Crisp turned to me. "What would you like me to serve tomorrow?
"Well, I like chicken.
"Yes, I could do chicken. With a wine sauce and grapes. A simple seafood salad to begin. I can make that in advance.
"Individual hazelnut tarts, said Sharon.
"There you go, said the cause of all the trouble, triumphantly. "I knew as soon as you all stopped panicking wed have it sorted. And youve nothing to be ashamed of, Mrs C. Your cooking made me the man I am today.
Silence as his household contemplated the man he was today.
"No, said Mrs Crisp, firmly. "Youre not putting all the blame on me.
The rest of the day was just a blur. Banished from the kitchen, I attacked the little morning room, polishing and hovering until everything gleamed. We rummaged through the linen cupboard, finding bits and pieces we could use.
The best china came out, along with a canteen of cutlery. We sat down to polish while Mrs Crisp walked in and out of the pantry, muttering to herself, and the cause of all the trouble threw the whole thing into further chaos by announcing there would be two more. Andrew and Tanya.
Mrs Crisp stared at him.
"Whats the problem? Just do a few extra potatoes.
I took him away for a walk while she was still reaching for her battle tea-towel. We wandered up the lane and up onto the moors.
He said nothing about divorce nothing just burbling happily away in his usual manner.
"I dont think he wants you to go.
"Well, Im not. Not for another twelve months, anyway.
"I dont think he wants you to go at all.
"That doesnt seem likely. The sooner Im gone, the sooner he can look around for another, less fragile source of income. Otherwise, hes ditched Francesca for nothing.
Thomas said nothing in the way that only he can.
"Dont you agree?
"I agree his money problems are still not solved. As for the rest of it ... Jenny, why isnt he painting yet?
"I dont know.
"Well, ask him.
"What, just like that?
"Otherwise youll die of old age waiting to get a word in somewhere.
Breathe once. And again. "Russell, hows the painting going?
He broke off. "Fairs fair, Jenny. Im up to here in donkeys, dinner parties, and divorce at the moment.
I didnt say anything.
He sighed. "Dont do that.
"What?
"Not say anything.
I didnt say anything again.
"Well, I dont have any gear, of course. I threw it all away.
"Theres a very good art shop near the castle in Rushford.
"Its not that easy.
Breathe once. And again. "No, I know its not. You stopped painting because of Francesca. You told yourself you couldnt do it without her. Then it stopped being a reason and became an excuse.
He stopped and looked at me, then continued walking. "Its a good job were getting divorced. Youre a bit scary sometimes.
I wouldnt let him change the subject.
"You might be right. OK, you are right. Im worried ... I worry I dont have it any more. What I was painting then was my life as I saw it. Full of joy and exuberance and confidence. I took chances. They paid off. But Im not the same person now. I dont doubt Ive still got the same technical expertise, but the spark, the thing that jumped from me to the canvas and burst into life thats gone. Without it, I might just as well paint walls for a living. And, quite honestly, Im afraid to find out. So I keep putting it off. Because if it has gone ...
I took his hand.
He seemed surprised, but didnt try to pull away.
I said, "Do it. Take a chance.
He smiled sadly and shook his head. "You dont know what youre asking.
"Yes I do. I took a chance. Now its your turn.
We walked for a long time in silence. I wasnt going to nag and I know from Aunt Julia that according to men, mentioning the same thing twice in one decade const.i.tutes nagging, so I shut up.
"Do you want to come to the shop with me?
"Love to.
"Well, all right, then.
"Good.
"Ill do it.
"Fine.
"Look, youve got your own way. Have the decency to let me have the last word, will you?
"OK.
Chapter Eight.
After all our efforts, the morning room looked lovely. Well, better than before, anyway. We had candles because although the walls had recently been beautifully painted, the curtains, rugs, and chair coverings were scruffy. By candlelight, it was shabby chic.
Russell was despatched to get the front door working. There was a lot of banging and cursing all part of the male ritual, Thomas a.s.sured me, culminating in an ear-splitting screech which set Marilyn off.
"Were going to have the council round at this rate, shouted Russell. "Is anyone capable of doing anything quietly in this house?
Sharon, laying the table at whisper-level, just grinned.
Russell and I were pushed upstairs to get ready. He resisted every inch of the way.
"Its only a family dinner, for heavens sake. Why cant I wear jeans?
n.o.body bothered to reply and he stumped grumpily off to his room. My reminder that the whole evening was his fault was met with a frosty stare and the comment that the next twelve months couldnt go quickly enough for him.
We regrouped in the kitchen. Mrs Crisp and Sharon wore black. I wore my long-sleeved black dress and Russell wore a black shirt and trousers.
"Good grief, said Thomas. "Its like a bunch of black holes in deep mourning.
Tanya and Andrew arrived first, so we had a bit of a breathing s.p.a.ce.
They tried to get in through the kitchen but Russell made them go around and knock on the front door. There was cousinly shouting. He dragged it open to the usual screeching fanfare, echoed by a small donkey in the stables.
"I dont believe any of this, said Andrew. "I swear this house gets more like Fred Karnos Army every day.
"Good evening, Tanya, said Russell, ignoring him. "May I take your coat?
She handed it over. She was wearing black. There was no hope for any of us.
"What about my coat? said Andrew.
"What about it? said Russell, steering Tanya into the living room.
I took his coat, feeling a little guilty that some twenty-four hours after hed begged me to stick with it, I was contemplating divorcing his cousin.