The three of us had a cup of tea.
Kevin was enthusiastic. "Shes so cool. Can we keep her?
"Shes stolen property, I said, remembering. "Were all going to prison.
"No, said Mrs Crisp. "Not looking at the state of her. She looks as if shes been abandoned. And for some time too.
I remembered the railway truck Russell wouldnt let me go into.
"Suppose the owner turns up and wants her back?
She shook her head. "He wont let her go back. He was like this as a boy. The place was full of sick strays. He kept them all. Once you get rescued by Russell Checkland, thats pretty well it for life.
Kevin was pursuing his own train of thought.
"We should give her a name.
"Dora, said Mrs Crisp. "Dora the Donkey. Thats pretty.
"Or Boomer. Thats a good name for her.
"Boomers are kangaroos.
"But she booms. Its like her voice comes down a wind tunnel.
"Whats going on here? said Russell, bounding in through the mudroom. "Why are you all sitting around enjoying yourselves? I dont pay you to sit around being happy. I want to see you working. Especially if Jennys going around inviting any Tom, d.i.c.k, or Andrew to lunch. Less happiness. More work. Not you, Jenny. You can sit around if you like.
"Big of him, said Thomas.
No one moved.
"Were thinking of a name for the little donkey.
"Widdle.
"Absolutely not.
"How about Tiny? Shes very small.
Kevins eyes sparkled. "I know. Ive got the perfect name. Mrs Crisp is right. She is tiny. We can call her ...
He paused for effect.
"Yes?
"Short a.s.s.
Chapter Seven.
The discussion over what to call her lasted all through lunch. I listened to Russell and Andrew slagging off each others choices. Mrs Crisp made an occasional suggestion. After theyd argued themselves to a standstill, I put down my spoon and said, "Marilyn.
Theyd moved on to exactly whose fault it was the toilet window had been broken back in the mists of time and it took them a while to refocus.
"Marilyn, I said again. They still stared. I could see I would have to make it easy for them.
"Marilyn, I said for the third time. "After Marilyn ... Monroe. You know, because of that look through her eyelashes.
"Im pretty sure Marilyn Monroe never widdled on anyone, said Russell.
"Yes, but I can see what Jennys getting at, said Andrew. If she ever had widdled on someone, I mean she would have just that look on her face. Good choice, Jenny. Marilyn it is. Is there any crumble left?
"No. Dont you have a home to go to? Where is Tanya anyway? Did she get fed up with you? I said she would, you know.
"Gone to London for a couple of days. Back tomorrow night.
"Got sick of you, did she?
"On the contrary, shes so overwhelmed by her great good fortune that she needs to get away occasionally, to get her breath back. Of course, she doesnt put it quite that way, but basically, thats what she means. Anyway, back to Marilyn. Its quite simple, Russ. Warm water, barley straw, no new hay. The odd carrot or apple. If she starts getting a roll of fat on her neck then youre overfeeding her. Ill have a word with the donkey centre and get you details of their farrier. Her feet are shocking, but I think, with regular tr.i.m.m.i.n.g and exercise, theyll improve. You may find she pines for her own kind, but Boxer seems to have imprinted himself on her so keep them together, if you can. Ill call in tomorrow for lunch and a couple of times next week, as well. Shes going to take a bit of work, Russ. Are you sure youre up for this?
He nodded.
I asked, "Russell, what happens if her owner wants her back?
"Well, he cant have her back. But he wont. h.e.l.l have the police, the RSPCA, and ma.s.sive vets bills waiting for him. Speaking of which, Andrew, this is more than you just peering at Boxer occasionally and telling me hes a loony. What do I owe you?
Andrew shrugged. "Youll have to pay for all her drugs and what-nots, Im afraid, but give me a good lunch and well forget the rest.
I smiled at him. He smiled back.
I said, "Ill ask Mrs Crisp to pack you some of her scones, if you like?
As I went out, I heard him say, "So, hows your face?
I shut the door behind me.
Mrs Crisp already had a care package ready for him.
"h.e.l.l be here for lunch again, tomorrow, Mrs Crisp. Does he have a favourite?
"Hes a roast beef and Yorkshire boy. Ill see to it.
Both Thomas and Kevin were still with Marilyn, I wandered over to have a look and, as I stood watching her, Andrew came in and started packing up his kit.
"Everything all right? he said, quietly.
I couldnt lie to him so I said nothing.
He fiddled with his case and then said, "I have no right to ask this, but if you could stick with him, Id be quite grateful.
I had a big lump in my throat.
"I know its not easy. Hes not easy ... but youre his last chance. Dont let that ... he suddenly remembered Francesca was my cousin. "She doesnt want him. She just doesnt want anyone else to have him. It suits her very well to have him on a string and hes wasting his life. Shes wasting his life. He needs to start painting again and hes convinced himself he cant do it without her.
I nodded.
"Told you.
He put his hand on my shoulder, "And stay away from your aunt. If you need help come to us. Ill hide behind the curtains and send Tanya in to bat for you.
I choked on a laugh.
"Thats better. See you tomorrow.
"Roast beef, I said.
He lifted my hand and kissed it.
"What are you doing? said Russell.
"Roast beef tomorrow.
"Thats no excuse. Go away now.
I went back to look at Marilyn, hardly able to believe the events of the day.
She stood in the middle of her big stall, dwarfed and bewildered. Kevin had put a small pile of straw in the corner for her to sleep on.
"Although actually, we could probably just put her in a dog basket.
"Thank you for looking after her.
"No problem. Shame about our day out. And your coat will never be the same again.
"Ah, well.
She sipped her water and began to hoover up her bedding.
"Look at her eat. Should she be doing that?
"Dont you know?
"Im a horse.
"Well, thats nearly a donkey.
"No, it isnt. Ah, here comes the young master.
Russell wasnt in a good mood. I wasnt sure what the problem was. He halted, fidgeting. "What did Andrew say?
"Oh, nothing much. Just asked what was for lunch tomorrow and hed see us then.
He scowled and wandered off.
"Interesting.
"What is?
"Nothing. Nothing at all.
Marilyn recovered like a rocket. She trained us not to leave anything lying around because she ate it. She trained us to satisfy her every demand because otherwise she would close her eyes, screw up her face like a kid having a tantrum, expand her lungs, and exceed the legal decibel limit.
Then just when she had caused maximum exasperation or consternation, she would look up at us through her fringe and smile and we were putty in her hands.
Kevin brushed her carefully she had some quite nasty sore patches and she turned out to be a very pretty soft dun colour under all the mud. Her broad head tapered down to a narrow nose and her huge dark eyes peered trustingly out at the world. Her feet were awful, but the farrier said they would improve. He trimmed away and for a few days she could hardly hobble at all. It was pitiful. Andrew shot her some painkillers.
We put her out in the yard for a couple of hours every day. She stuck her head in things that didnt concern her, tried to eat the washing, was shooed out of the mud room, and pushed her head out through the gate to check out pa.s.sers-by. One of whom was our neighbour, Martin Braithwaite, walking down to the village one day.
"Ah, he said, enlightened. "A donkey! I must tell Monica. She was convinced someone was being chain-sawed.
"Sorry about that, said Russell, leaning on the gate. "Little Big Voice.
"Im on my way for a quiet pint. Care to join me?
"Yes, said Russell and slipped through the gate. "Let me tell you about the trials of donkey owning. You coming, Jenny?
I shook my head. I had something else to do.
He seemed surprised. "Oh. OK then. Is that because Andrew is coming? Again?
"Maybe. See you later, and I shot off, because Id just seen Kevin disappearing round the corner and I wanted a word.
Thomas seemed amused. "Oh, Jenny.
"What?
"Nothing.
"Whats nothing?
"Nothing at all. Theres Kevin.
"Hi, Mrs Checkland.