She bowed her head. Yesterday she had wept in his arms. But to-day no tears came. Only a halting whisper, a woman"s cry of sheer weakness.
"Don"t tempt me, Big Bear!" she murmured. "Oh, don"t tempt me! I am not--free!"
Merefleet"s face grew stern.
"You did not say that yesterday," he said.
She heard the change in his tone, and looked up. She was better able to meet this from him.
"I know," she said. "And I guess that was where I went wrong. I ought to have waited till we were dead. But, you see, I didn"t know."
"Then do you tell me you are not free?" Merefleet said. "Do you mean literally that? Are you the actual property of another man?"
She shook her head with baffling prompt.i.tude.
"I guess I"m just Death"s property, Big Bear," she said, with a wistful little smile. "But he doesn"t seem over-keen on having me."
"Stop!" said Merefleet harshly. "I won"t have you talk like that. It"s madness. Tell me what you mean!"
"I can"t," Mab said. "I can"t tell you. It wouldn"t be fair. Don"t be angry, Big Bear! It"s just the price I"ve got to pay. And it"s no use squirming. I"ve worried it round and round. But it always comes back to that. I"m not free. And no one but Bert must ever know why."
Merefleet sprang to his feet with an impatience by no means characteristic of him.
"This is intolerable!" he exclaimed. "You are wrecking your life for an insane scruple. Child, listen! Tell me nothing whatever! Give yourself to me! No one shall ever take you away again. That I swear. And I will make you so happy, dear. Only trust me!"
But Mab covered her face as if to shut out a forbidden sight.
"Big Bear, I mustn"t," she said, with a sharp catch in her voice. "I"ve done very wrong already. But I mustn"t do this. Indeed I mustn"t. It"s real good of you. And I shall remember it all my life. I think you are the most charitable man I ever met, considering what you must think of me."
"Think!" said Merefleet, and there was a note of deep pa.s.sion in his voice. "I don"t think. I want you just as you are,--just as you are.
Don"t you know yet that I love you enough for that?"
Mab rose slowly at the words. She was very pale, and he could see her trembling as she stood.
"Big Bear," she said, "I"ve got something to say to you. What I told you yesterday was quite true. And I"m in great trouble about it. I thought we were going to Heaven together. That was how I came to say it. But it was very wicked of me to be so impulsive. I"ve done other things that were wicked in just the same way. It"s just my nature. And p"r"aps you"ll try to forgive me when you think how I truly meant it. I"m telling you this because I want you to do something for me. It"ll be real difficult, Big Bear. Only you"re so strong."
She faltered a little and paused to recover herself. Merefleet was standing close to her. He could have taken her into his arms. But something held him back. Moreover he knew the nature of her request before she uttered it.
"Will you do what I ask you?" she said suddenly, facing him directly.
"Will you, Big Bear?"
Merefleet did not answer her.
She went on quickly.
"My dear, it"s hard for me, too, though I"m bad and I deserve to suffer."
Her voice broke and Merefleet made a convulsive movement towards her. But he checked himself. And Mab ended in a choked whisper with an appealing hand against his breast.
"Just go right away!" she said. "Take up your life where it was before you met me! Will you, dear? It--will make it easier for me if you will."
A dead silence followed the low words. Then, moved by a marvellous influence which worked upon him irresistibly, Merefleet stooped and put the slight hand to his lips. He did not understand. He was as far from reading the riddle as he had been when he entered. But his love for this woman conquered his desire. He had thought to win an empire. He left the room a beaten slave.
CHAPTER XV
Men said that Bernard Merefleet, the gold-king, was curiously changed when once more he went among them. Something of the old grimness which had earned for him his _sobriquet_ yet clung to his manner. But he was undeniably softer than of yore. There was an odd gentleness about him.
Women said that he was marvellously improved. Among such as had known him in New York he became a favourite, little as he attempted to court favour.
Towards the end of the year he went down to the Midlands to stay with his friend Perry Clinton. They had not met for several years, and Clinton, who had married in the interval, also thought him changed.
"Is it prosperity or adversity that has made you so tame, dear fellow?"
he asked him, as they sat together over dessert one night.
"Adversity," said Merefleet, smiling faintly. "I"m getting old, Perry; and there"s no one to take care of me. And I find that money is vanity."
Clinton understood.
"Better go round the world," he said. "That"s the best cure for that."
But Merefleet shook his head.
"It"s my own fault," he said presently. "I"ve chucked away my life to the gold-demon. And now there is nothing left to me. You were wise in your generation. You may thank your stars, Perry, that when I wanted you to join me, you had the sense to refuse. When I heard you were married I called you a fool. But--I know better now."
He paused. He had been speaking with a force that was almost pa.s.sionate.
When he continued his tone had changed.
"That is why you find me a trifle less surly than I used to be," he said.
"I used to hate my fellow-creatures. And now I would give all my money in exchange for a few disinterested friends. I"m sick of my lonely life. But for all that, I shall live and die alone."
"You make too much of it," said Clinton.
"Perhaps. But you can"t expect a man who has been into Paradise to be exactly happy when he is thrust outside."
Clinton took up the evening paper without comment. Merefleet had never before spoken so openly to him. He realised that the man"s loneliness must oppress him heavily indeed thus to master his reserve.
"What news?" said Merefleet, after a pause.
"Nothing," said Clinton. "Plague on the Continent. Railway mishap on the Great Northern. Another American Disaster."
"What"s that?" said Merefleet with a touch of interest.
"Electric car accident. Ralph Warrender among the victims."
"Warrender! What! Is he dead?"