She handed him a little worn leather box as she spoke, and on opening it he found, besides a few pins and studs of no great value, a handsome, old-fashioned watch and a signet ring.
"Thank you very much, dear. I"ll wear them with great pride and pleasure, and this will be an exchange of gifts, for I"ve got something for you, too--that"s what my shopping was this morning."
He took her left hand in his, slipped off her wedding ring, and slid another on her finger--a circle of beautiful diamonds sunk in a platinum band delicately chased.
"_Austin!_ How exquisite! I never had--such a lovely ring! How did you happen to choose--just this?"
"Largely because I thought you could use it for both an engagement ring now, and a wedding ring when we get married--which was what I wanted."
And without another word, he took the discarded gold circle and threw it into the fire. "And partly," he went on quite calmly--as if nothing unusual had happened, and as if it was an everyday occurrence to burn up ladies" property without consulting them--"because I thought it was beautiful, and--suitable, like the little star."
"And you expect me to wear it, publicly, now?"
"I shall put it a little stronger than that--I shall insist upon your doing so."
She looked up in surprise, her cheeks flushing at his tone, but he went on quietly:
"I"ve just written my mother, and asked her to tell the rest of the family, that we are engaged. They have as much right to know as your uncle. You can do as you please about telling other people, of course.
But you can"t wear another man"s ring any longer. And it seems to me, as we shall no longer be living in the same house, and as I shall be coming constantly to see you after you come back to Hamstead, that it would be much more dignified if I could do so openly, in the role of your prospective husband. While as far as your friends here are concerned--after what you told me this morning--I think you must agree with me that it is much fairer to let them know at once how things stand with you, and introduce me to them."
"I don"t want to use up these few precious days giving parties. I want you to myself."
"I know, dear--that"s what I"d prefer, in one way, too. But I have got to take some time for business, and later on your friends will feel that you were ashamed of me--and be justified in feeling so--when they learn that we are to be married, and that you were not willing to have me meet them when I was here."
Sylvia did not answer, but sat with her eyes downcast, biting her lips, and pulling the new ring back and forth on her finger.
"That is, of course, unless you _are_ ashamed--are you perfectly sure of your own mind? If not, my letter isn"t posted yet, and it is very easy to tell your uncle that you have found you were mistaken in your feelings."
"What would you do if I should?" she asked defiantly.
"Do? Why, nothing. Tell him the same thing, of course, pack my suit-case, and start back to Hamstead as soon as I had met the men I came to see on business."
"Oh, Austin, how can you talk so! I don"t believe you really want me, after all!"
"Don"t you?" he asked in an absolutely expressionless voice, and pushing back his chair he walked over to the window, turning his back on her completely.
She was beside him in an instant, promising to do whatever he wished and begging his forgiveness. But it was so long before he answered her, or even looked at her, that she knew that for the second time that day she had wounded him almost beyond endurance.
"If you ever say that to me again, no power on earth will make me marry you," he said, in a voice that was not in the least threatening, but so decisive that there could be no doubt that he meant what he said; "and we"ve got to think up some way of getting along together without quarrelling all the time unless you have your own way about everything, whether it"s fair that you should or not. Now, tell me what you wanted to talk to me about, and we"ll try to do better--those troublesome details you mentioned before you left the farm? Perhaps I can straighten out some of them for you, if you"ll only let me."
"The first one is--money."
"I thought so. It"s a rather large obstacle, I admit. But things are not going to be so hard to adjust in that quarter as I feared. I"ll tell you now about the little legacy I mentioned this morning." And he repeated his conversation with Uncle Mat. "You can do what you please with your own money, of course--take care of your own personal expenses, and run the house, and give all the presents you like to the girls--but you can"t ever give me another cent, unless you want to call the family indebtedness to you your wedding present to me."
"You can"t get everything you want on the income of ten thousand dollars--which is about all the capital you"ll have left when you"ve paid all these first expenses you mention."
"I can have everything I _need_--with that and what I"ll earn. What"s your next "detail"?"
"I suppose I"ll have to give in about the money--but will you mind, very much, if we have--a long engagement?"
"I certainly shall. As I told you before, I think too much has been sacrificed to convention already."
"It isn"t that."
"What, then?"
"I don"t know how to tell you, and still have you believe I love you dearly."
"You mean, that for some reason, you"re not ready to marry me yet?" And as she nodded without speaking, her eyes filling with tears, he asked very gently, "Why not, Sylvia?"
"I"m afraid."
"Afraid--_of me?_"
"No--that is, not of you personally--but of marriage itself. I can"t bear yet--the thought of facing--pa.s.sion."
The hand that had been stroking her hair dropped suddenly, and she felt him draw away from her, with something almost like a groan, and put her arms around his neck, clinging to him with all her strength.
"_Don"t_--I love you--and love you--and _love you_--oh, can"t I make you see? Are you very angry with me, Austin?"
"No, darling, I"m not angry at all. How could I be? But I"m just beginning to realize--though I thought I knew before--what a perfect h.e.l.l you"ve been through--and wondering if I can ever make it up to you."
"Then this doesn"t seem to you dreadful--to have me ask for this?"
"Not half so dreadful as it would to have you look at me as you did on Christmas night."
He began stroking her hair again, speaking rea.s.suringly, his voice full of sympathy.
"Don"t cry, dearest--it"s all right. There"s nothing to worry over. It"s right that you should have your way about this--it"s _my_ way, too, as long as you feel like this. I hope you won"t _too_ long--for--I love you, and want you, and--and need you so much--and--I"ve waited a year for you already. But I promise never to force--or even urge--you in any way, if you"ll promise me that when you _are_ ready--you"ll tell me."
"I will," she sobbed, with her head hidden on his shoulder.
"Then that"s settled, and needn"t even be brought up again. Don"t cry so, honey. Is there anything else?"
"Just one thing more; and in a way, it"s the hardest to say of any."
"Well, tell me, anyway; perhaps I may be able to help."
"My baby," she said, speaking with great difficulty, "the poor little thing that only lived two weeks. It"s buried in the same lot with--its father--at Greenwood. I never can go near that place again. I"ve paid some one to take care of it, and Uncle Mat has promised me to see that it"s done. I think some day you and I--will have a son--more than one, I hope--and he will _live_! But if this--this baby--could be taken away from where he is now, and buried in that little cemetery, you know--I could go sometimes, quite happily, and stay with him, and put flowers on his little grave; and later on there could be a stone which said, merely, "Harold, infant son of Sylvia--Gray.""
Apparently Austin forgot what he had said that morning, for long before she had finished he took her in his arms; but the kisses with which he covered her face and hair were like those he would have given to a little child, and there was no need of an answer this time. For a long while she lay there, clinging to him and crying, until she was utterly spent with emotion, as she had been on the night when they had stayed in the wood; and at last, just as she had done then, she dropped suddenly and quietly to sleep. Through the tears which still blinded his own eyes, Austin half-smiled, remembering how he had longed to kiss her as he carried her home, rejoicing that his conscience no longer needed to stand like an iron barrier between his lips and hers. He waited until he was sure that she was sleeping so soundly that there would be little danger of waking her, then lifted her, took her down the hall to her room, and laid her on the big, four-posted bed.
"That"s the second time you"ve been to sleep in my arms, darling," he whispered, bending over to kiss her before he left her; "the third time will be on our wedding might--G.o.d grant that isn"t very far away!"
CHAPTER XV