Here Maggie began to cry into the tray.
Constance looked at her. Despite the special muslin of that day she had traces of the slatternliness of which Mrs. Baines had never been able to cure her. She was over forty, big, gawky. She had no figure, no charms of any kind. She was what was left of a woman after twenty-two years in the cave of a philanthropic family. And in her cave she had actually been thinking things over! Constance detected for the first time, beneath the dehumanized drudge, the stirrings of a separate and perhaps capricious individuality. Maggie"s engagements had never been real to her employers. Within the house she had never been, in practice, anything but "Maggie"--an organism. And now she was permitting herself ideas about changes!
"You"ll soon be suited with another, Mrs. Povey," said Maggie. "There"s many a--many a--" She burst into sobs.
"But if you really want to leave, what are you crying for, Maggie?"
asked Mrs. Povey, at her wisest. "Have you told mother?"
"No, miss," Maggie whimpered, absently wiping her wrinkled cheeks with ineffectual muslin. "I couldn"t seem to fancy telling your mother. And as you"re the mistress now, I thought as I"d save it for you when you come home. I hope you"ll excuse me, Mrs. Povey."
"Of course I"m very sorry. You"ve been a very good servant. And in these days--"
The child had acquired this turn of speech from her mother. It did not appear to occur to either of them that they were living in the sixties.
"Thank ye, miss."
"And what are you thinking of doing, Maggie? You know you won"t get many places like this."
"To tell ye the truth, Mrs. Povey, I"m going to get married mysen."
"Indeed!" murmured Constance, with the perfunctoriness of habit in replying to these tidings.
"Oh! but I am, mum," Maggie insisted. "It"s all settled. Mr. Hollins, mum."
"Not Hollins, the fish-hawker!"
"Yes, mum. I seem to fancy him. You don"t remember as him and me was engaged in "48. He was my first, like. I broke it off because he was in that Chartist lot, and I knew as Mr. Baines would never stand that. Now he"s asked me again. He"s been a widower this long time."
"I"m sure I hope you"ll be happy, Maggie. But what about his habits?"
"He won"t have no habits with me, Mrs. Povey."
A woman was definitely emerging from the drudge.
When Maggie, having entirely ceased sobbing, had put the folded cloth in the table-drawer and departed with the tray, her mistress became frankly the girl again. No primness about her as she stood alone there in the parlour; no pretence that Maggie"s notice to leave was an everyday doc.u.ment, to be casually glanced at--as one glances at an unpaid bill! She would be compelled to find a new servant, making solemn inquiries into character, and to train the new servant, and to talk to her from heights from which she had never addressed Maggie. At that moment she had an illusion that there were no other available, suitable servants in the whole world. And the arranged marriage? She felt that this time--the thirteenth or fourteenth time--the engagement was serious and would only end at the altar. The vision of Maggie and Hollins at the altar shocked her. Marriage was a series of phenomena, and a general state, very holy and wonderful--too sacred, somehow, for such creatures as Maggie and Hollins. Her vague, instinctive revolt against such a usage of matrimony centred round the idea of a strong, eternal smell of fish. However, the projected outrage on a hallowed inst.i.tution troubled her much less than the imminent problem of domestic service.
She ran into the shop--or she would have run if she had not checked her girlishness betimes--and on her lips, ready to be whispered importantly into a husband"s astounded ear, were the words, "Maggie has given notice! Yes! Truly!" But Samuel Povey was engaged. He was leaning over the counter and staring at an outspread paper upon which a certain Mr.
Yardley was making strokes with a thick pencil. Mr. Yardley, who had a long red beard, painted houses and rooms. She knew him only by sight.
In her mind she always a.s.sociated him with the sign over his premises in Trafalgar Road, "Yardley Bros., Authorised plumbers. Painters.
Decorators. Paper-hangers. Facia writers." For years, in childhood, she had pa.s.sed that sign without knowing what sort of things "Bros," and "Facia" were, and what was the mysterious similarity between a plumber and a version of the Bible. She could not interrupt her husband, he was wholly absorbed; nor could she stay in the shop (which appeared just a little smaller than usual), for that would have meant an unsuccessful endeavour to front the young lady-a.s.sistants as though nothing in particular had happened to her. So she went sedately up the showroom stairs and thus to the bedroom floors of the house--her house! Mrs.
Povey"s house! She even climbed to Constance"s old bedroom; her mother had stripped the bed--that was all, except a slight diminution of this room, corresponding to that of the shop! Then to the drawing-room. In the recess outside the drawing-room door the black box of silver plate still lay. She had expected her mother to take it; but no! a.s.suredly her mother was one to do things handsomely--when she did them. In the drawing-room, not a ta.s.sel of an antimaca.s.sar touched! Yes, the fire-screen, the luscious bunch of roses on an expanse of mustard, which Constance had worked for her mother years ago, was gone! That her mother should have clung to just that one souvenir, out of all the heavy opulence of the drawing-room, touched Constance intimately. She perceived that if she could not talk to her husband she must write to her mother. And she sat down at the oval table and wrote, "Darling mother, I am sure you will be very surprised to hear.... She means it.... I think she is making a serious mistake. Ought I to put an advertis.e.m.e.nt in the Signal, or will it do if.... Please write by return. We are back and have enjoyed ourselves very much. Sam says he enjoys getting up late...." And so on to the last inch of the fourth scolloped page.
She was obliged to revisit the shop for a stamp, stamps being kept in Mr. Povey"s desk in the corner--a high desk, at which you stood. Mr.
Povey was now in earnest converse with Mr. Yardley at the door, and twilight, which began a full hour earlier in the shop than in the Square, had cast faint shadows in corners behind counters.
"Will you just run out with this to the pillar, Miss Dadd?"
"With pleasure, Mrs. Povey."
"Where are you going to?" Mr. Povey interrupted his conversation to stop the flying girl.
"She"s just going to the post for me," Constance called out from the region of the till.
"Oh! All right!"
A trifle! A nothing! Yet somehow, in the quiet customerless shop, the episode, with the scarce perceptible difference in Samuel"s tone at his second remark, was delicious to Constance. Somehow it was the REAL beginning of her wifehood. (There had been about nine other real beginnings in the past fortnight.)
Mr. Povey came in to supper, laden with ledgers and similar works which Constance had never even pretended to understand. It was a sign from him that the honeymoon was over. He was proprietor now, and his ardour for ledgers most justifiable. Still, there was the question of her servant.
"Never!" he exclaimed, when she told him all about the end of the world. A "never" which expressed extreme astonishment and the liveliest concern!
But Constance had antic.i.p.ated that he would have been just a little more knocked down, bowled over, staggered, stunned, flabbergasted. In a swift gleam of insight she saw that she had been in danger of forgetting her role of experienced, capable married woman.
"I shall have to set about getting a fresh one," she said hastily, with an admirable a.s.sumption of light and easy casualness.
Mr. Povey seemed to think that Hollins would suit Maggie pretty well.
He made no remark to the betrothed when she answered the final bell of the night.
He opened his ledgers, whistling.
"I think I shall go up, dear," said Constance. "I"ve a lot of things to put away."
"Do," said he. "Call out when you"ve done."
II
"Sam!" she cried from the top of the crooked stairs.
No answer. The door at the foot was closed.
"Sam!"
"h.e.l.lo?" Distantly, faintly.
"I"ve done all I"m going to do to-night."
And she ran back along the corridor, a white figure in the deep gloom, and hurried into bed, and drew the clothes up to her chin.
In the life of a bride there are some dramatic moments. If she has married the industrious apprentice, one of those moments occurs when she first occupies the sacred bed-chamber of her ancestors, and the bed on which she was born. Her parents" room had always been to Constance, if not sacred, at least invested with a certain moral solemnity. She could not enter it as she would enter another room. The course of nature, with its succession of deaths, conceptions, and births, slowly makes such a room august with a mysterious quality which interprets the grandeur of mere existence and imposes itself on all. Constance had the strangest sensations in that bed, whose heavy dignity of ornament symbolized a past age; sensations of sacrilege and trespa.s.s, of being a naughty girl to whom punishment would accrue for this shocking freak.
Not since she was quite tiny had she slept in that bed--one night with her mother, before her father"s seizure, when he had been away. What a limitless, unfathomable bed it was then! Now it was just a bed--so she had to tell herself--like any other bed. The tiny child that, safely touching its mother, had slept in the vast expanse, seemed to her now a pathetic little thing; its image made her feel melancholy. And her mind dwelt on sad events: the death of her father, the flight of darling Sophia; the immense grief, and the exile, of her mother. She esteemed that she knew what life was, and that it was grim. And she sighed. But the sigh was an affectation, meant partly to convince herself that she was grown-up, and partly to keep her in countenance in the intimidating bed. This melancholy was fact.i.tious, was less than transient foam on the deep sea of her joy. Death and sorrow and sin were dim shapes to her; the ruthless egoism of happiness blew them away with a puff, and their wistful faces vanished. To see her there in the bed, framed in mahogany and ta.s.sels, lying on her side, with her young glowing cheeks, and honest but not artless gaze, and the rich curve of her hip lifting the counterpane, one would have said that she had never heard of aught but love.
Mr. Povey entered, the bridegroom, quickly, firmly, carrying it off rather well, but still self-conscious. "After all," his shoulders were trying to say, "what"s the difference between this bedroom and the bedroom of a boarding-house? Indeed, ought we not to feel more at home here? Besides, confound it, we"ve been married a fortnight!"
"Doesn"t it give you a funny feeling, sleeping in this room? It does me," said Constance. Women, even experienced women, are so foolishly frank. They have no decency, no self-respect.
"Really?" replied Mr. Povey, with loftiness, as who should say: "What an extraordinary thing that a reasonable creature can have such fancies! Now to me this room is exactly like any other room." And he added aloud, glancing away from the gla.s.s, where he was unfastening his necktie: "It"s not a bad room at all." This, with the judicial air of an auctioneer.
Not for an instant did he deceive Constance, who read his real sensations with accuracy. But his futile poses did not in the slightest degree lessen her respect for him. On the contrary, she admired him the more for them; they were a sort of embroidery on the solid stuff of his character. At that period he could not do wrong for her. The basis of her regard for him was, she often thought, his honesty, his industry, his genuine kindliness of act, his grasp of the business, his perseverance, his pa.s.sion for doing at once that which had to be done.
She had the greatest admiration for his qualities, and he was in her eyes an indivisible whole; she could not admire one part of him and frown upon another. Whatever he did was good because he did it. She knew that some people were apt to smile at certain phases of his individuality; she knew that far down in her mother"s heart was a suspicion that she had married ever so little beneath her. But this knowledge did not disturb her. She had no doubt as to the correctness of her own estimate.