I went to Cindy , our cla.s.s representative to gather more information about the compet.i.tion . She has been our cla.s.s representative since seventh standard . I went to her and told her that I wanted to partic.i.p.ate in elocution . she went to her bench and took out her note book from her bag and opened a page in which there were names of the partic.i.p.ants from our cla.s.s , she wrote down my name and told me that next week my cla.s.s teacher would let her know about the topics and also about the date .I gave a smile and went back to my place and sat beside Rachel .
Are you partic.i.p.ating for him ? , Rachel asked me .
I shook my head and replied , not because of him . I want to try doing something which I never did . I want to change myself .
she looked at me and smiled but didn"t tell anything .
Looking at her expression I understood that she was happy for what I was doing or going to do .
Few days later , our teacher gave us the topics and then she told that the compet.i.tion would be held on Thursday which was two weeks later .
Just like the other days after having our lunch , Rachel and I went to fill our bottles but I didn"t go towards Austin"s cla.s.s as I wanted to take a stroll in the ground .
I told her that I need to go back to the cla.s.s and practise .
She told that it would be better if I practise standing in front of her and imagine her as one an audience .
Pausing for a minute , I closed my eyes took a deep breathe and then when I opened my eyes I saw Rachel wasn"t standing in front of me . I looked towards my right side and saw her rushing towards an empty bench which was under a tree . The place where she sat was near to the basket ball court .
Okay , start now . She said .
Can"t you stand even for five minutes ? , I asked her folding my hands and curling my lips .
Why should I stand when there"s place to sit and also my legs might start paining if I stand even for a minute , rolling her eyes she shrugged and replied .
Alright!! , start now , she said with a wide smile .
Standing in front of her I told my speech with confidence. She stood and gave me a hug after I completed my speech .
"That was amazing , so proud of you , don"t loose your confidence, you can do it ," she said while hugging me .
I practised day and night so that I could become perfect . At home ,I sometimes stood in front of the mirror and at school during lunch hours , Rachel and I would to go to that bench everyday . I used to give my speech while she used to sit on the bench and listen to me eating her chips . And that Continued for two weeks .
Finally the day has come. I was already nervous and looking at the crowd I lost my confidence . I was to tears but didn"t let them fall , I was controlling myself . I wanted to runaway , I took a step back but then I thought that if I step back further then everything I did for today since two weeks would go in vain .
Jessica , you have to do it no matter what , I told to myself.
Half of me was telling to go for it while the other half was telling me not to do , people would make fun if something goes wrong .
I took another step back thinking that I won"t be able to do it .
When I turned back , I saw a tall guy standing behind me one step away. I could only see his chest as he was tall , I raised my head and looked at the tall figure and realised that it was Austin .
ThankG.o.d , I didn"t take two steps back . My head would"ve hit his chest and that would be another embarra.s.sing situation with him , I thought .
Hey , he said .
He looked even more handsome in close up .His hair was messy which made him look attractive . There was a kind of spark in his eyes which melted my heart as always ,his jawline outlined his handsome face , his perfectly shaped red lips were slightly moving .
s.h.i.t his lips are moving , he is saying something to me , I thought and came back to my senses , he was talking about my speech .
I smiled and nodded but didn"t talk anything because I didn"t listen to what he told and also I was speechless as he was standing very close to me .
I never understand , why I always get lost in my thoughts and also I"m so stupid , I have to give speech in few minutes and here I was busy admiring him .
I asked did you give your speech or are you going to give , he said .
I.... am going to give my speech in a while , I didn"t give yet , I said sheepishly .
I scolded myself for behaving like an idiot .
That"s nice , he said .
He was talking to his friends who were standing to my left side .
I don"t know why , all of a sudden I wanted to talk to him and tell him that I was loosing my confidence.
Even though he was my crush , he was not close to me . We hardly spoke to eacthother , I always felt happy whenever I spoke to him but this was different , I never shared my feelings with him and also I didn"t know if he would understand my situation because its easy for a person like him to talk in front of people but for a person like me its difficult .
I turned my head towards him and saw that he was already looking at me .
He came towards me and said , " you can do it , don"t loose your confidence .
He talked to me as if he knew what I wanted to say .
Will I be able to do it ?, I asked him .
" If a person can do something ,it means you can do it too .If a person can"t do it you should try doing it " he said .
I will do it , I said and gave him a bright smile.
He was right , if other students could stand and give speech , I can do it too . I should atleast give a try , I cannot let my two weeks of handwork go in vain, I thought .
I heard my teacher calling my name , I went and gave my speech . It was not great but I was able to tell with confidence and without any mistake , it was my first time standing in front of so many people and giving a speech .
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That day , he said only two sentences and those two sentences became my motto since then . I"m sure if I didn"t talk to him that day , I wouldn"t have given my speech , I would"ve lost my confidence and I guess I would"ve never tried to do something like that again.