Chapter Seventeen.
It"s Sat.u.r.day again, and my second busy one in a row. Mandy and I set up our gla.s.sblowing cla.s.s for today; tonight there"s a party at one of the private school kids" houses. I don"t know the guy, obviously, but I"m getting a ride with Mandy and meeting Simon there.
I don"t even shower before I head to Fire Art. I"m just going to get all sweaty anyway.
Mandy"s waiting outside.
"Hey, chica," chica," she says as I approach. "Ready?" she says as I approach. "Ready?"
"Can"t wait."
Jim is ready. The room"s heated up. He hands me a blowpipe and watches as I carry it to the furnace and gather the molten gla.s.s. "It"s like picking up honey with your finger," I say.
"Except at two thousand degrees," Jim says.
"Yeah, except for that."
And the lesson begins.
I"m in the zone as Jim yells out directions. In the end, my piece is very lopsided, but it"ll look cool that way.
"You"re getting comfortable with this. I can tell," Jim says as I get ready to leave.
"I love it," I tell him. "Even if I suck."
"At first, no one is good."
Okay, Yoda.
Mandy"s been doing her own thing. I almost forgot she was there.
"Wow," I say as she puts her work away. "I was so in a zone."
"Me too," she says, wiping sweat from her forehead. "I thought that only happened to me in gymnastics. Cool."
"Definitely."
"So, I"ll see you tonight for the party?" She wipes more sweat, motions to the front door.
I have an idea. Maybe it"s about time I had something pretty under my new T-shirt. Maybe tonight Simon and I will fix our little fight; the party will be a good chance to make up. "Hey, why don"t we each go home and shower and then meet up to go shopping before the party?"
"Shopping? For a certain something?" She raises her eyebrows at me in that way she did when we were talking about the black bra. "Yay! And bring your party clothes. We can get ready at my house after."
So I"m hanging out with my new friend before the party.
We meet up at the bus stop by Ladro and take the 28 to Pacific Place, back to the store where I went with my mom.
"Here we are," says Mandy, heading straight for the lingerie rack. It"s fun having a girl to do this with. She picks up the black number to try on for herself.
She gets me the black one and a pretty purple one. "Try these."
In the dressing room, both bras make me feel like a pinup girl. I"ve never been so nicely ... supported.
They"re not cheap, but I have enough.
I find Mandy in the front of the store. "I"m getting it, are you?" she asks.
"Yep." I grin. It crosses my mind that she doesn"t have anyone special to show it off for. "If it"s okay to ask ... who are you planning to impress?"
She smiles. "It"s not about some boy. I just like to feel pretty."
"That"s cool."
"Plus, you never know." She grabs a pink bra in her size.
My gaze falls to the neon novelty condoms that are also on the rack. She follows my eyes.
"Not me!" she says.
Phew. "Not me, either. Not yet."
"You and Simon aren"t there, are you?"
I think about it. "We probably ... could be. But. No." Something always holds me back.
"Only do it if you really, really want to," she says. "Some of my friends have been so destroyed by s.e.x with the wrong guy."
"I hear ya."
We go to the register, pay, and head back to the bus stop.
At Mandy"s house, no one"s home, and we go straight up to her room.
It"s like a sanctuary in pink, kind of like a little girl"s room, which surprises me. The bed is made. Mine never is.
"Let"s do your makeup first," she says. "Then mine."
"Sure."
She has a vanity in her room. Something I"ve definitely never seen before. I sit on the white-cushioned chair and she gets to work on my face.
Mandy does makeup like a pro, swiftly and with concentration. She has an artillery of brushes.
When she"s done, I stare at the mirror and see my eyes brighter than usual, my lips more pouty. It"s almost like seeing myself in the witch dress for the first time. "Thank you so much."
"You"re welcome," she says. "And you"re hot!"
It"s seven o"clock by the time we finish getting dressed.
"Pizza?" Mandy asks. "I"m starving."
"Me too. Definitely pizza."
I"m supposed to meet Simon at the party at eight. We have just about enough time.
We take Mandy"s car to Mad Pizza so we can go straight from there.
We get to chatting about gla.s.sblowing and school, and we don"t leave Mad Pizza till eight-thirty.
The party"s in Ballard, so we arrive at about eight-forty-five. I figure Simon knows so many people, he probably won"t even notice that I"m late.
It"s a crazy scene at the party. People I don"t recognize are dancing in the living room, with all the furniture pushed to the walls. It"s so loud, I barely hear Mandy when she screams "Bathroom!" in my ear.
I feel instantly tense as I push my way through the crowd, looking for Simon. Some random guy puts his hand on the small of my back. It feels creepy.
Simon"s on a kitchen stool. He"s drinking a can of cheap beer. He sees me but doesn"t smile. "Where were you?"
"I was with Mandy. We got caught up having dinner. I"m sorry. I didn"t think you"d mind if I was a little late."
"Wouldn"t mind?" he asks. "I"ve been waiting for you."
Simon was waiting for me? That"s sweet. Somehow I imagined that he doesn"t think about me much when I"m not right in front of him.
"It"s too loud!" I say.
He nods, stands, takes my hand.
We go upstairs and find an empty bedroom. Switch on the light.
"Sorry," I say, keeping Simon"s hand. "I just don"t really like big crowds like that."
"Now it"s just you and me," he says, rubbing my palm with his fingers.
"I didn"t mean to be late."
He grabs me by the waist. "Forgiven."
I"ve heard about guys getting octopus arms in these situations, eight instead of two, but I"ve never known what it felt like until this moment.
He is everywhere on my body at once as we kiss.
I move my hands up and down his back, slip my hands under his sweater, and he takes this cue to ease my top over my head.
I"m so glad I"m wearing the black bra.
Somehow, though, I am apart from this scene. I am not in it. I feel what Simon is doing and my body responds, but part of me is above, thinking, This is what it"s like to really go at it This is what it"s like to really go at it, and all I can see is what someone watching us would see.
It"s exciting; I like it. But it"s weird; it"s kind of funny. And I can"t stop thinking: Am I doing this just because I want him for my boyfriend? What about love?
"What"s wrong?" he asks.
"I"m thinking."
"We"ll stop. It"s okay." He understands. "This is as far as we go tonight. Just this."
We keep going. I"m melting. His body there on top of mine, skin on skin. How will I ever want this to stop?
Then he pulls away. "If we don"t stop now, I don"t think I"ll be able to."
Exactly.
We breathe there on the bed for a while, next to each other.
"Simon," I say. "Thanks. You"re a really, really good guy."
I stand and find my shirt on the floor.
He sits on the bed, pulls on his sweater.
"We"re gonna have to wait a minute." I know what he means. His, um, parts, were certainly ready for one of those neon condoms.
"Come sit next to me," he says. He puts his arm around my waist, nuzzles his head against mine, breathes hard.
"Thanks for being so understanding," I say. "I wish ..." What? I"m not sure what I want to say.
This is real. It"s real that I could have s.e.x right now. Simon just breathes there.
He"s not saying anything. Not trying to make me do anything.
Which makes me almost want to do it.
Back downstairs, I spot Mandy on the dance floor with a tall blond guy. She looks happy, jumping around.
Simon goes back to the kitchen and gets another beer out of the fridge. He hands me one.
I think about the last time I drank. "No, thanks. I"m okay."
He widens his eyes at me. "No? It"s a party."
"I don"t want to today."
Does he think I"m lame for not drinking? "Suit yourself," he says, but his voice is kind of ... tight.
He finishes his beer fast and goes for another. "Sure you don"t want one?"