Chapter 653 - Negotiating
"I"m f.u.c.king too strong." Jake sighed inwardly. He could already imagine the little fairy"s eyes filled with horror when she saw the test result.
And indeed, her reaction didn"t disappoint.
A few moments later, the runes" glow began to dim, until it died out completely. For a few seconds, Jake thought he had narrowly escaped the danger, but the next moment, the smooth, disc-shaped top of the Arcanitor changed configuration with a clicking sound and a slot appeared in its center, which immediately spat out a metal card.
Jake didn"t need to be a genius to know what it was. His ID card was ready for use, for better or for worse...
As befitting her position, Jeanie flew excitedly to the top of the Arcanitor, which to her was like a large helipad, and then began to pull the metal card furiously out of its socket. The scene could have been reminiscent of King Arthur removing Excalibur from its stone, but a lot less epic.
After a protracted struggle with the object nearly touching her chin, the little fairy eventually managed to pull out the card and laid it flat on the Arcanator to read its contents.
Sneaking a peek over it from behind her, Jake was relieved to see so little written on it, but unfortunately this burst of optimism did not survive the next round.
"Silver Myrtharian? What"s that?" Miss Rumplesky muttered as she loudly caught her breath after all this physical exertion.
Still, she had often come across eccentric race names that she had never heard of in the past. This was Quanoth after all. A world where Players of thousands, millions of different races were being tested all the time. The natives were not aware of it, but their species were not just random, but a deliberate choice made by Aurae after careful consideration.
Jake still thought at this point that he could get away with it, but that changed as soon as she swiped the ID card in front of another device that looked like a large prismatic brick. A large number of holographic symbols suddenly began to scroll before their eyes until they formed a huge block of incomprehensible text. Jeanie put on a tiny pair of golden-rimmed gla.s.ses and began to fly from one symbol to the other like a child reading a text by following each syllable with her finger.
Hearing her read aloud the first words and phrases, Jeanie didn"t appear particularly startled, but Jake"s sallow face couldn"t have looked more horrified. Those first lines were identical to his own Digitized Oracle Status, but starting with ordinary details like his race, level, height or weight.
"Level 28... Is that all? I thought you were higher level... Height 4m21... You"re quite the tall one, huh... Weight 3564kg, not bad, not bad, but you need to go on a... WHAT THE f.u.c.kING HECK?!"
The full implication of those words had finally sunk in to her brain, hitting her unprepared mind hard. Such swearing in the mouth of a little fairy would have shocked anyone who knew her in Lodunvals, but Jake had mentally conditioned himself for such a vocal outburst all along.
s.h.i.+fting her gaze from the holographic runes in front of her to Jake standing with his arms crossed just behind her, a state of panic soon overtook Jeanie"s chilled little heart. In front of a dumbstruck Jake, she suddenly broke into tears as she tried to claw her hair out of excess anguish.
"No, no, no! I"m f.u.c.king done... You can"t be 4m21! Oh my G.o.d, if Laudar or the Mage Guild finds out I broke the Arcanitor, I-I..."
For the next three minutes, forgetting about reading the holographic symbols, she shed many tears, moping about the dire fate awaiting her, namely astronomical debts and an extension of her penal servitude...
He also heard her mention regularly between two sentences "Don"t want to be eaten! Who knew what she meant by that? In any case, she started to weep more and more each time after having spoken these few words.
Also reaching his breaking point, Jake, not wanting to watch the cute Minmin fall into a depressive spiral, decided to intervene. He had almost forgotten his ident.i.ty card. With Jeanie"s irrational distress, if he"d wanted to he could have left with it without worry.
"Take it easy." Jake placated her by gently patting her back doing his best not to crack her spine with a flick.
This method having already proven itself, he materialized another chocolate bar, but he removed the wrapper before this time prior to giving her the treat. Devoid of the slightest shred of common sense, the fairy nibbled on the chocolate without skipping a beat.
Too busy chewing, the sobbing stopped, but hiccuping noises continued to erupt from time to time. A few moments later, she was back to her old self, her belly swollen like a balloon and her face covered in chocolate. Releasing a small burp, she gushed,
"Aahh! Good stuff... You still have some?"
Picking up a greedy, insatiable glimmer in her eyes, Jake at least knew he had her full attention. Preferring to get it over with before the rest of the contents of his ID card triggered another existential crisis, he stared her straight in the eye and put his cards on the table.
"Miss Rumplesky, can I trust you?" He asked with an icy smile, as he released a sliver of his aura.
The little fairy who was still basking in ecstasy after her copious snack, suddenly got gooseb.u.mps and her body began to quiver against her will. Only then did she become aware that the man in front of her was not as harmless as his handsomeness suggested.
At this moment, a total reinterpretation of the events was replayed in her head, a completely biased and paranoid version, fed by her own phobias. In this version, Jake"s kindness seemed like a s.a.d.i.s.tic intention to fatten her up to better savor her later.
"I-I don"t know. Please! Don"t eat Jeanie! I don"t taste good!" She suddenly began to beg him, prostrating herself on the floor.
Jake felt awfully frustrated as he saw the first inklings of a second panic attack emerge. "I"ve got to stop this before it hits the fan."
"Stop it! I won"t eat you!" He slapped the back of her head with minute control of his strength. "Why the f.u.c.k would I eat another human being? You think just because you"re small and have wings that I"m going to become a cannibal? You overestimate yourself, little one! And if someone tries to eat you, call me for help and I"ll come and teach them a lesson. Then we"ll see if they still have enough teeth to eat you..."
The little fairy was deeply shocked upon hearing his answer, so much so that he thought for a brief second that she had actually suffered a brain attack. When she resumed breathing, he heaved another sigh of relief.
Since his arrival on Quanoth, he had been dealing with nothing but problems. First a stupid orphan, now a paranoid and hypersensitive fairy.
"You really don"t intend to eat me?" She murmured shyly as she hid behind her desk, though it was completely unnecessary with his speed.
"Peh! I don"t eat anything that even remotely resembles a human." He scoffed in disgust. "I don"t even eat monkey, so definitely not a fairy."
She still seemed to have trouble believing him, but she was already pretty much convinced.
"Now read the rest of my ID and tell me whether or not I can trust you. Know that everything on it is true and that depending on your answer, even if I don"t kill you, I"ll be obliged to prevent you from talking. Are we clear?"
Jeanie nodded stiffly, then went back to reading the holographic symbols. Her expression changed many times, first shocked, then downright appalled. By the last few lines, she was completely livid.
Now she knew what kind of individual was standing in front of her.
"You"re... a Guilty." She stated much more calmly.
"Bull"s-eye!" Jake winked. "I guess you know what I want from you, then?"
Straightening up proudly, fists on hips, the Minmin called out loudly,
"You need me to forge your ID!"
At least she had a brain...
"That"s right. I need you to change my information. At the very least, I want to appear as a human and if possible reduce my displayed stats to look more... average if you know what I mean."
"No problem impersonating a human." Jeanie promised readily. "But changing the level and stats displayed is impossible. This card is connected to your soul and updates in real time as long as it stays within a few feet of you. Using someone else"s card won"t work either. It was possible a few years ago, but not anymore with these wars. At least, I can"t."
Jake became glum. He was not satisfied with this result, but he would have to make do with it. As long as he got a Soul Cla.s.s, he would have a decent alibi to display. His extraordinary stats would only thicken the mystery around him and make his ident.i.ty more ill.u.s.trious, but he refused to believe that there was no one on Quanoth who surpa.s.sed his power.
In all of his previous Ordeals, there had always been individuals outranking him by several leagues.. No reason for that to change here, even if he was much stronger than he used to be.