"Aunt Effie," said Rodney, presently, "do you think I have been a very great good-for-nothing?"
"No, indeed. Why?"
"Well, I certainly haven"t been good for much; and I"m not sure whether I could be. I don"t know exactly what to think of myself. I haven"t had anything to do with _horses_ this winter; I sent Red Squirrel off into the country. What is the reason, Auntie, that if a fellow takes to horses, they all think he is going straight to the bad? What is there so abominable about them?"
"Nothing," said Miss Kirkbright. "On the contrary, everything grand and splendid,--in _type_,--you know. Horses are powers; men are made to handle powers, and to use them; it is the very manliest instinct of a man by which he loves them. Only, he is terribly mistaken if he stops there,--playing with the signs. He might as well ride a stick, or drive a chair with worsted reins, as the little ones do, all his life."
Rodney"s face lit straight up; but for a whole mile he made no answer. Then he said, as people do after a silence,--
"How quiet we are, all at once! But you have a way of finishing up things, Aunt Euphrasia. You said all I wanted in about fifty words, just now. I begin to see. It may be just because I _might_ do something, that I haven"t. Aunt Euphrasia, I"ve done being a boy, and playing with reins. I"m going to be a man, and do some real driving. Do you know, I think I"d better not go to Europe with my father?"
"I don"t _know_ that," returned Miss Kirkbright. "It might be; but it is a thing to consider seriously, before you give it up. You ought to be quite sure what you stay for."
"I won"t stay for any nonsense. I mean to talk with him to-night."
"Talk with yourself, first, Rod; find yourself out, and then talk it all out honestly with him."
Which advice--the first clause of it--Rodney proceeded instantly to follow; he did not say another word all the way over the Mill Dam and up Beacon Hill, and Aunt Euphrasia let him blessedly alone; one of the few women, as she was, capable of doing that great and pa.s.sive thing.
When he had left her at her door, and driven his horse to the livery stable, he went round to his father"s rooms and took tea with him.
The meal over, he pushed back his chair, saying, "I want a talk with you, father. Can I have it now? I must be back at Cambridge by ten."
Mr. Sherrett looked in his son"s face. There was nothing there of uncomfortableness,--of conscious bracing up to a difficult matter.
He repressed his first instinctive inquiry of "No sc.r.a.pe, I hope, Rod?" The question was asked and answered between their eyes.
"Certainly, my boy," he said, rising. "Step in there; the man will be up presently to take away these things."
The door stood open to an inner apartment; a little study, beyond which were sleeping and bath-rooms.
Rodney stepped upon the threshold, leaning against the frame, while Mr. Sherrett went to the mantel, found a match and a cigar, cut the latter carefully in two, and lit one half.
"The thing is, father," said Rodney, not waiting for a formal beginning after they should be closeted and seated,--"I"ve been thinking that I"d better not go abroad, if you don"t mind. I"m rather waking up to the idea of earning my own way first,--before I take it. It"s time I was doing something. If I use up a year or more in travelling, I shall be going on to twenty-two, you see; and I ought to have got ahead a little by that time."
Mr. Sherrett turned round, surprised. This was a new phase. He wondered how deep it went, and what had occasioned it.
"Do you mean you wish to study a profession, after all?"
"No. I don"t think I"ve much of a "head-piece"--as Nurse Pond used to say. At least, in the learned direction. I"ve just about enough to do for a gentleman,--a _man_, I hope. But I _should_ like to take hold of something and make it go. I"ll tell you why, father. I want to see what"s in me in the first place; and then, I might want something, sometime, that I should have no right to if I couldn"t take care of myself--and more."
"Come in, Rodney, and shut the door."
After that, of course, we cannot listen.
They two sat together for almost two hours. In that time, Mr.
Sherrett was first discomposed; then set right upon one or two little points that had puzzled and disappointed him, and to which his son could furnish the key; then thoroughly roused and anxious at this first dealing with his boy as a man, with all a man"s hopes and wishes quickening him to a serious purpose; at last, touched sympathetically, as a good father must be, with the very desire of his child, and the fears and uncertainties that may environ it. What he suggested, what he proposed and promised, what was partly planned to be afterward concluded in detail, did not transpire through that heavy closed door; neither we, nor the white-jacketed serving-man, can be at this moment the wiser. It will appear hereafter. When they came out together at last, Mr. Sherrett was saying,--
"Two years, remember. Not a word of it, decisively, till then,--for both your sakes."
"Let what will happen, father? You don"t remember when you were young."
"Don"t I?" said his father, with emphasis, and a kindly smile. "If anything happens, come to me. Meanwhile,--you may talk, if you like, to Aunt Euphrasia. I"ll trust her."
And so the Lord set this angel of his to watch over this thread of our story.
We may leave it here for a while.
CHAPTER VII.
BEL AND BARTHOLOMEW.
"Kroo! kroo! I"ve cramp in my legs, Sitting so long atop of my eggs!
Never a minute for rest to s.n.a.t.c.h; I wonder when they are going to hatch!
"Cluck! cluck! listen! tseep!
Down in the nest there"s a stir and a peep.
Everything comes to its luck some day; I"ve got chickens! What will folks say?"
Bel Bree made that rhyme. It came into her head suddenly one morning, sitting in her little bedroom window that looked right over the gra.s.s yard into the open barn-door, where the hens stalked in and out; and one, with three chickens, was at that minute airing herself and her family that had just come out of their sh.e.l.ls into the world, and walked about already as if the great big world was only there, just as they had of course expected it to be. The hen was the most astonished. _She_ was just old enough to begin to be able to be astonished. Her whole mind expressed itself in that proud cluck, and pert, excited carriage.
She had done a wonderful thing, and she didn"t know how she had done it. Bel "read it like coa.r.s.e print,"--as her step-mother was wont to say of her own perspicacities,--and put it into jingle, as she had a trick of doing with things.
Bel Bree lived in New Hampshire; fifteen miles from a railway; in the curious region where the old times and the new touch each other and mix up; where the women use towels, and table-cloths, and bed-spreads, of their mothers" own hand-weaving, and hem their new ones with sewing-machines brought by travelling agents to their doors; where the men mow and rake their fields with modern inventions, but only get their newspapers once a week; where the "help" are neighbors" girls, who wear overskirts and high hats, and sit at the table with the family; where there are rag carpets and "painted chamber-sets;" where they feed calves and young turkeys, and string apples to dry in the summer, and make wonderful patchwork quilts, and wax flowers, and worsted work, perhaps, in the long winters; where they go to church and to sewing societies from miles about, over tremendous hills and pitches, with happy-go-lucky wagons and harnesses that never come to grief; where they have few schools and intermitted teaching, yet turn out, somehow, young men who work their way into professions, and girls who take the world by instinct, and understand a great deal perfectly well that is beyond their practical reach; where the old Puritan stiffness keeps them straight, but gets leavened in some marvelous way with the broader and more generous thought of the time, and wears a geniality that it is half unconscious of; the region where, if you are lucky enough to get into it to know it, you find yourself, as Miss Euphrasia said, encouraged and put in heart again about the world. Things are so genuine; when they make a step forward, they are really there.
But Bel Bree was not very happy in her home, though she sat at the window and made rhymes in half merry fashion; though she loved the hills, and the lights, and the shadows, the sweet-blossoming springs and the jeweled autumns, the sunsets, and the great rains, that set all the wild little waterfalls prancing and calling to each other among the ravines.
Bel had two lives; one that she lived in these things, and one within the literal and prosaic limit of the farmhouse, where her father, as farmers must, had married a smart second wife to "look after matters."
Not that Mrs. Bree ever looked _after_ anything: nothing ever got ahead of her; she "whewed round;" when she was "whewing," she neither wanted Bel to hinder nor help; the child was left to herself; to her idleness and her dreams; then she neglected something that she might and ought to have done, and then there was reproach, and hard speech; partly deserved, but running over into that wherein she should not have been blamed,--the precinct of her step-mother"s own busy and self-arrogated functions. She was taunted and censured for incapacity in that to which she was not admitted; "her mother made ten cheeses a week, and flung them in her face,"
she said. On the other hand, Mrs. Bree said "Bel hadn"t got a mite of _snap_ to her." One might say that, perhaps, of an electric battery, if the wrong poles were opposed. Mrs. Bree had not found out where the "snap" lay in Bel"s character. She never would find out.
Bel longed, as human creatures who are discontent always do, to get away. The world was big; there must be better things somewhere.
There was a pathos of weariness, and an inspiration of hope, in her little rhyme about the hen.
Bel was named for her Aunt Belinda. Miss Belinda Bree came up for a week, sometimes, in the summer, to the farm. All the rest of the year she worked hard in the city. She put a good face upon it in her talk among her old neighbors. She spoke of the grand streets, the parades, Duke"s b.a.l.l.s,--for which she made dresses,--and jubilees, of which she heard afar off,--as if she were part and parcel of all Boston enterprise and magnificence. It was a great thing, truly, to live in the Hub. Honestly, she had not got over it since she came there, a raw country girl, and began her apprenticeship to its wonders and to her own trade. She could not turn a water faucet, nor light her gas, nor count the strokes of the electric fire alarm, without feeling the grandeur of having Cochituate turned on to wash her hands,--of making her one little spark of the grand illumination under which the Three Hills shone every night,--of dwelling within ear-shot and protection of the quietly imposing system of wires and bells that worked by lightning against a fierce element of daily danger. She was proud of policemen; she was thrilled at the sound of steam-engines thundering along the pavements; she felt as if she had a hand in it. When they fired guns upon the Common, she could only listen and look out of windows; the little boys ran and shouted for her in the streets; that is what the little boys are for. Somebody must do the running and the shouting to relieve the instincts of older and busier people, who must pretend as if they didn"t care.
All this kept Miss Belinda Bree from utterly wearing out at her dull work in the great warerooms, or now and then at days" seamstressing in families. It really keeps a great many people from wearing out.
Miss Bree"s work _was_ dull. The days of her early "mantua making"
were over. Twenty years had made things very different in Boston.
The "nice families" had been more quiet then; the quietest of them now cannot manage things as they did in those days; for the same reason that you cannot buy old-fashioned "wearing" goods; they are not in the market. "Sell and wear out; wear out and sell;" that is the principle of to-day. You must do as the world does; there is no other path cut through. If you travel, you must keep on night and day, or wait twenty-four hours and start in the night again.
n.o.body--or scarcely anybody--has a dress-maker now, in the old, cosy way, of the old, cosy sort, staying a week, looking over the wardrobes of the whole family, advising, cutting, altering, remaking, getting into ever so much household interest and history in the daily chat, and listening over daily work: sitting at the same table; linking herself in with things, spring and fall, as the leaves do with their goings and comings; or like the equinoxes, that in March and September shut about us with friendly curtains of rain for days, in which so much can be done in the big up-stairs room with a cheerful fire, that is devoted to the rites and mysteries of scissors and needle. We were always glad, I remember, when our dress-making week fell in with the equinoctial.