That was on Friday night.
On Sunday morning Frank Sunderline came in on the service train, and went up to Pilgrim Street.
"Mrs. Kent is dead," he told Kay. "Marion is in awful trouble. Can"t you come out to her?"
Ray was just leaving the house to go to church. Instead, she went with Frank to the horse-railroad station, catching the eleven o"clock car. She had been expecting him in the afternoon, to take her to drink tea with his mother, who was not able to come in to see her.
In an hour, she went in at Mrs. Kent"s white gate,--Frank leaving her there. They both felt, without saying, that it would not be kind to appear together. Marion had that news, though, as she had had the other; from her Job"s comforter, Mrs. Knoxwell, who was persistently "sitting with her."
"There"s Frank Sunderline and Ray Ingraham at the gate. She"s coming in. They"re engaged. It"s just out."
"What _do_ I care?" cried Marion, fiercely, turning upon her, and astounding Mrs. Knoxwell by the sudden burst of angry words; for she had not spoken for more than an hour, in which the blacksmith"s wife had administered occasional appropriate sentences of stinging condolence and well-meant retrospection. "I wish you would go home!"
Every monosyllable was uttered with a desperate, wrathful deliberateness and flinging away of all pretense and politeness.
"Well--"f I _never_!" gasped Mrs. Knoxwell, with a sound in her voice as if she had received a blow in the pit of her stomach.
"Jest as you please, Marion--"f I ain"t no more use!" And the aggrieved matron, who had, as she said afterward in recounting it, "done _everything_," left the scene of her labors and her animadversions, with a face perfectly emptied of all expression by her inability to "realize what she _did_ feel."
Ray Ingraham came in, went straight up to Marion, and took her into her arms without a word. And Marion put her head down on Ray"s shoulder, and cried her very heart out.
"You needn"t try to comfort me. I can"t be comforted like anybody else. It"s the day of judgment come down into my life. I"ve sold my birthright: I"ve n.o.body belonging to me any more. I wanted the world--to be free in it; and I"m turned out into it now; and home"s gone--and mother.
"I never thought of her dying. I expected one of these days to do for her, and not let her work any more. I meant to, Ray--I did, truly! But she"s dead--and I let her die!"
With sentences like these, Marion broke out now and again, putting aside all Ray"s consolations; going back continually to her self-upbraidings, after every pause in which Ray had let her rest or cry quietly; after every word with which she tried to prevail against her despair and soothe her with some hope or promise.
"They are none of them for me!" she cried. "It would have been better if I had never been born. Ray!" she said suddenly, in a strained, hollow voice, grasping Rachel"s arm and looking with wild, swollen eyes into hers,--"I was just as bad by little Sue. I was only fourteen then, but it was the same evil, unsuitable vanity and selfishness. I was busy, while she was sick, making a white muslin burnouse to wear to a fair. I had teased mother for it. It was a silly thing for a girl like me to wear; it had a blue ribbon run in the hem of the hood, and a bow and long blue ends behind. Poor little Sue was just down with the fever. Mother had to go out, and left me to tend her. She wanted some water--Oh!"
Marion broke down, and sobbed, with her head bowed to her knees as she sat.
Ray sat perfectly still. She longed to beg her not to think about it, not to say any more; but she knew she would feel better if she did.
"I told her I"d go presently; and she waited--the patient little thing! And I was making my blue bow, and fixing it on, and fussing with the running, and I forgot! And she couldn"t bear to bother me, and didn"t say a word, but waited till she dropped to sleep without it; and her lips were so red and dry. It was a whole hour that I let her lie so. She never knew anything after that.
"She waked up all in a rave of light-headedness!
"I thought I should never get over it, Ray. And I never did, way down in my heart; but I got back into the same wretched nonsense, and now--here"s _mother_!
"It"s no use to tell me. I"ve done it. I"ve lost my right. It"ll _never_ be given back to me."
"Marion--I wish you could have Mr. Vireo to talk to you; or Luclarion Grapp. Won"t you come home with me, and let them come to see you? They _know_ about these things, dear."
"Would you take me home?" asked Marion, slowly, looking her in the face.
"Yes, indeed. Will you come?"
"O, do take me and hide me away, and let me cry!"
She dropped herself, as it were pa.s.sively, into Rachel Ingraham"s hands. She could not stay among the neighbors, she said. She could not stay in that house alone, one day.
Ray stayed with her, until after the funeral.
Marion would not go to the church. She had let them decide everything just as they pleased, thinking only that she could not think about any of it. Mrs. Kent had been a faithful, humble church-member for forty years, and the minister and her fellow-members wanted her to be brought there. There was no room in the little half-house, where she had lived, for neighbors and friends to gather, and for the services properly to take place.
So it was decided.
But when the time came, and it was too late to change, Marion said,--"She belonged to them, and they have done by her. They can all go, but I can"t. To sit up in the front pew as a mourner, and be looked at, and prayed for, as if I had been a real child, and had only _lost_ my mother! You know I can"t, Ray. I will stay here, and bear my punishment. May be if I bear it _all_ now--do you believe it might make any difference?"
Ray stayed with her through the whole.
While all was still in the church, not ten rods off, a carriage came for them to the little white gate. With the silken blinds down, and the windows open behind them, it was driven to the cemetery, and in beneath the sheltering trees, to a stopping place just upon a little side turn, near the newly opened grave. No one, of those who alighted from the vehicles of the short procession, knew exactly when or how it had come.
The words of the prayer beside the grave,--most tenderly framed by the good old minister, for the ear he knew they would reach--came in soft and clear upon the pleasant air.
"And we know, Lord, as we lay these friends away, one after another, that we give them into Thy hands,--into Thy heart; that we give into Thy heart, also, all our love and our sorrow, and our penitence for whatever more we might have been or done toward them; that through Thee, our thought of them can reach them forever. We pray Thee to forgive us, as we know we do forgive each other; to keep alive and true in us the love by which we hold each other; and finally to bring us face to face in Thy glory, which is Thy loving presence among us all. We ask Thee to do this, by the pity and grace that are in Thy Christ, our Saviour."
After that, they were driven straight in, over the long Avenue, to the city, and to the quiet house in Pilgrim Street.
Ray herself, only, led Marion to the little room up-stairs which had been made ready for her; Ray brought her up some tea, and made her drink it; she saw her in bed for the night, and sat by her till she fell asleep.
CHAPTER XVII.
ERRANDS OF HOPE.
"It is a very small world, after all."
Mr. d.i.c.kens, who touched the springs of the whole world"s life, and moved all its hearts with tears and laughter, said so; and we find it out, each in our own story, or in any story that we know of or try to tell. How things come round and join each other again,--how this that we do, brings us face to face with that which we have done, and with its work and consequence; how people find each other after years and years, and find that they have not been very far apart after all; how the old combinations return, and almost repeat themselves, when we had thought that they were done with.
"As the doves fly to their windows," where the crumbs are waiting for them, we find ourselves borne by we know not what instinct of events,--yet we do know; for it is just the purpose of G.o.d, as all instinct is,--toward these conjunctions and recurrences. We can see at the end of weeks, or months, or years, how in some Hand the lines must have all been gathered, and made to lead and draw to the coincidence. We call it fate, sometimes; stopping short, either blindly inapprehensive of the larger and surer blessedness, or too shyly reverent of what we believe to say it easily out. Yet when we read it in a written story, we call it the contrivance of the writer,--the trick of the trade. Dearly beloved, the writer only catches, in such poor fashion as he may, the trick of the Finger, whose scripture is upon the stars.
Marion Kent is received into the Ingraham home. Hilary Vireo and Luclarion Grapp preach the gospel to her.
"Christ died."
The minister uttered his evangel of mercy in those two eternal words.
"Yes,--Christ," murmured the girl, who had never questioned about such things before, and to whose lips the holy name had been strange, unsuitable, impossible; but whose soul, smitten with its sin and need, broke through the wretched outward hinderance now, and had to cry up after the only Hope.
"But He could not forgive my letting _them_ die. I have been reading the New Testament, Mr. Vireo, "Whosoever shall offend one of these little ones, it were better for him that a millstone"--
She could not finish the quotation.
"Yes,--"_offend_;" turn aside out of the right--away from Him; mislead. Hurt their _souls_, Marion."