"Be it so," replied he, "this Georgian must have a good opinion of her own charms."
In the evening the sultan made his appearance, and I prostrated myself at his feet, for I did not wish to proceed too far at once. He raised me up, and appeared delighted.
"You were right, Zara," said he, "no jewels or dress could add to the splendour of your beauty."
"Pardon me, O gracious lord," replied I, "but if thy slave is to please thee, may it be by her natural charms alone. If I have the honour to continue in thy favour, let me adorn myself with those jewels which ought to decorate the chosen of her master--but as a candidate I have rejected them, for who knows but in a few days I may be deserted for one more worthy of your preference?"
The sultan was delighted at my apology, and I certainly was pleased with him. He was then about forty years of age, very handsome and well made; but I was still more gratified to find that my conversation amused him so much that he remained with me for many hours after his usual time for retiring. This gave promise of an ascendancy which might survive personal charms. But not to detain your highness, I will at once state, the sultan soon thought but of me. Not only my personal attractions, but my infinite variety, which appeared natural, but was generally planned and sketched out previous to his visits, won so entirely upon him, that so far from being tired, his pa.s.sion, I may say his love, for me was every day increased.
"Well, it _may be_ all true," observed the pacha, looking at the wrinkled and hideous object before him. "What do you say, Mustapha?"
"O pacha! we know not yet her history. The mother of your slave, as I have heard from my father, was once most beautiful. She is still in our harem, and _pooh_," said Mustapha, spitting, as if in abhorrence.
"Right, good vizier--right--recollect, pacha, what I have said. Time has been." The pacha nodded and the old woman proceeded.
Once sure of the sultan"s affections, I indulged myself in greater liberties--not with him, but with others; for I knew that he would laugh at the tricks I might play upon his dependants, but not be equally pleased with a want of respect towards himself; and other people of the harem were the objects of my caprice and amus.e.m.e.nt. So far from preventing him from noticing the other women in the harem, I would recommend them, and often have them in my apartments when he would visit me, and wish to be alone. I generally contrived to manage a little quarrel about once a month, as it renewed his pa.s.sion. In short, the sultan became, as I intended, so infatuated, that he was my slave, and at the same time I felt an ardent attachment to him. My power was well known. The presents which I received from those who required my good offices were innumerable, and I never retained them, but sent them as presents to the sultan, in return for those which he repeatedly sent to me. This indifference on my part to what women are usually too fond of increased his regard.
"By the holy Prophet, but you seemed fond enough of gold just now,"
observed the pacha.
"Time has been, replied the old woman. I speak not of the present."
For two years I pa.s.sed a happy life; but anxious as the sultan was, as well as myself, that I should present him with an heir, that happiness was denied me, and eventually was the cause of my ruin. The queen mother, and the kislar aga, both of whom I had affronted, were indefatigable in their attempts to undermine my power. The whole universe, I may say, was ransacked for a new introduction into the seraglio, whose novelty and beauty might seduce the sultan from my arms.
Instead of counterplotting, as I might have done, I was pleased at their frustrated efforts. Had I demanded the woolly head of the one, and poisoned the other, I had done wisely. I only wish I had them now-- but I was a fool--it cannot be helped--but time has been.
Like most of the s.e.x, the ruling pa.s.sion of the sultan was vanity, a disease which shows itself in a thousand different shapes. He was peculiarly proud of his person, and with reason, for it was faultless, with one little exception, which I had discovered, a wen, about the size of a pigeon"s egg, under the left arm. I had never mentioned to him that I was aware of it; but a circ.u.mstance occurred which annoyed me, and I forgot my discretion.
The kislar aga had at last discovered a Circa.s.sian slave, who, he thought, would effect the purpose. She was beautiful, and I had already engrossed the sultan"s attentions for more than two years. Men will be fickle, and I expected no otherwise. What I required was the dominion over the mind; I cared little about the sultan"s attentions to other women. Like the tamed bird which flies from its cage, and after wandering a short time, is glad to return to its home and re-a.s.sume its perch, so did I consider it would be the case with the sultan. I never, therefore, wearied him with tears or reproaches, but won him back with smiles and good-humour. I expected that this new face would detach him for a short time, and for a fortnight he never came into my apartment.
He had never been away so long before, and I was rather uneasy. He visited me one morning, and I asked him to sup with me. He consented, and I invited three or four of the most beautiful women of the seraglio, as well as the lady of his new attachment, to meet him. I thought it wise so to do, to prove to him that I was not displeased, and trusting that the Circa.s.sian might suffer when in company with others of equal charms, who from neglect might rea.s.sume their novelty. The Circa.s.sian was undeniably most beautiful; but, without vanity, she was by no means to be compared to me; she had the advantage of novelty, and I hoped no more, for I felt what a dangerous rival she might prove if her wit and talents were equal to her personal charms. The sultan came, and I exerted myself to please, but, to my mortification, I was neglected; all his attentions and thoughts were only for my rival, who played her part to admiration, yielded to him that profound respect and abject adulation, which, on my part, had been denied him, and which he probably, as a novelty from a favourite, set a higher price upon. At last, I was treated with such marked insult, that I lost my temper, and I determined that the sultan should do the same. I handed him a small apple. "Will my lord accept this apple from the hand of his slave? is it not curious in shape? It reminds me of the wen under your majesty"s left arm."
The sultan coloured with rage.
"Yes," replied I laughing, "you have one of them, you know very well."
"Silence, Zara," cried the sultan, in a firm tone.
"And why should I be silent, my lord? Have not I spoken the truth?"
"False woman! deny what you have falsely uttered."
"Sultan, I will not deny the truth. I will, if you command me, hold my tongue."
"Your slave has been honoured with my lord"s attentions, and denies the a.s.sertion as a calumny," observed my rival.
"Peace, wretch! thou hast proved thyself unworthy of the honour, by thy lying tongue."
"I tell thee, Zara, silence! or you shall feel my indignation."
But I was now too angry, and I replied, "My lord, you well know that I once held my tongue for eighteen months; I therefore can be silent when I choose; but I can also speak when I choose, and now I do choose to speak. I have said it, and I will not retract my words."
The sultan was white with rage; my life hung upon a thread; when the Circa.s.sian maliciously observed, "The bastinado might induce her to retract."
"And shall," exclaimed the sultan, clapping his hands.
The kislar aga appeared, in obedience to the sultan"s orders; the executioner of the harem, and two slaves, stretched me on the floor--I made no resistance or complaint; my jewelled slippers were taken off, and all was ready for the disgraceful punishment.
"Now, Zara, will you retract?" said the sultan, solemnly.
"No, my lord, I will not. I repeat, that you have a wen under your left arm."
"Strike," cried the sultan, in a paroxysm of rage. The bamboos fell, and I received a dozen blows. I bore them without a cry; I was too much choked by my feelings.
"Now, Zara, will you retract?" exclaimed the sultan, in a subdued tone.
"Never, sultan; I will prove to you that a woman has more courage than you may imagine; if I die under the punishment, my rival shall not have even the pleasure of a groan. You ask me to retract. I will not swerve from the truth. You have, and you know you have, and so does that vile parasite by your side know that you have a wen under your left arm." I was faint with the pain, and my voice was weak and trembling.
"Proceed," said the sultan.
When I had received thirty blows, I fainted with the agony, and the sultan ordered them to desist. "I trust, Zara, you are now sufficiently punished for your disobedience." But I heard him not; and when the sultan perceiving that I did not reply, looked at me, his heart melted.
He felt how arbitrary, how cruel he had been. The Circa.s.sian went to him; he ordered her, in a voice of thunder, to be gone, me to be unbound by the other ladies, laid on the sofa, and restoratives to be procured.
When I came to my senses, I found myself alone with the sultan. "Oh Zara," said he, as the tears stood in his eyes, "why did you tempt me thus--why were you so obstinate?"
"My lord," answered I, in a feeble voice, "leave your slave and go to those who can teach their tongues to lie. I have never deceived you, although I may have displeased you. I have loved you with fidelity and truth. Now that you have witnessed what I can suffer rather than be guilty of falsehood, you ought to believe me. Take my life, my lord, and I will bless you; for I have lost you, and with you I have lost more than life."
"Not so, Zara," replied the sultan; "I love you more than ever."
"I am glad to hear you say so, my lord, although it is now of no avail.
I am no longer yours, and never will be. I am unfit to be yours; my person has been contaminated by the touch of Ethiopian slaves--it has been polluted by the hand of the executioner--it has been degraded by a chastis.e.m.e.nt due only to felons. Oblige me, as a last proof of your kindness, by taking a life which is a burthen to me."
Despot as he was, the sultan was much moved; he was mortified at having yielded to his temper, and his pa.s.sionate affection for me had returned.
He intreated my pardon, shed tears over me, kissed my swelled feet, and humiliated himself so much, that my heart relented--for I loved him dearly still.
"Zara," exclaimed he, at last, "will you not forgive me?"
"When, my lord, have I ever shown myself jealous? True love is above jealousy. This evening, to please you, although I have lately been neglected, did I not request your new favourite to meet you? In return, I was grossly insulted by neglect, and studied attentions to her. I was piqued, and revenged myself--for I am but a woman. I was wrong in so doing, but having told the truth, I was right in not retracting what I had said. Now that you have degraded me--now that you have rendered me unworthy of you, you ask me to forgive you."
"And again I implore it, my dearest Zara!"
"There are my jewels, my lord. I have no other property but what I have received, and cherished as presents from you. Your treasurer well knows that. Take my jewels, my lord, and present them to her, they will make her more beautiful in your sight--to me they are now worthless. Go to her, and in a few days you will forget that ever there was such a person as the unhappy, the neglected, the disgraced, and polluted Zara." And I burst into tears, for even with all his ill usage, I was miserable at the idea of parting with him; for what will not a woman forgive to a man who has obtained her favour and her love?
"What can I do to prove that I repent?" cried the sultan. "Tell me, Zara. I have supplicated for pardon, what more can I do?"