When at last she entered her bedroom, Erik was already in bed, clearly waiting for her. A fire was roaring in the fireplace, warming the air and her skin as she undressed, but it was nothing compared to the heat in his eyes. Any other night, she would have joined him right away and f.u.c.ked the stress of the battle out of the two of them. This night, though, she took her time, using the water that had been put to warm by the side of the fire to clean the dust and b.l.o.o.d.y scratches that marred her skin. And all the while, she could feel her Childe"s eyes on her, as pa.s.sionate and loving as they had ever been.
His fist was loosely stroking his c.o.c.k when she finally joined him, and she shook her head when he let goto reach for her.
"Don"t," she requested, forcing a smile to her lips. "Just show me how gorgeous you are when you come, Childe."
The amus.e.m.e.nt in his voice was clear, even as he answered with a perfectly polite, "As my Sire wishes."
If anyone other than him had talked to her like this, they would have learned their place in an instant.
Maybe it was her fault, if she had to let him go so fast. Maybe she had hurried things by giving him too much freedom.
Kneeling on the bed by his side, she watched him pleasure himself, her gaze sometimes following the hand that stripped his c.o.c.k in a fast pace that she knew he wouldn"t be able to sustain for long, sometimes drifting to his other hand where it alternated between stroking his b.a.l.l.s and coming up to scratch at his flat nipples. She hadn"t exaggerated, when saying he was gorgeous. His body was arching under his own touch, a melody of motions made even more beautiful by the shadows and light the fire cast over him. The whole time, his eyes remained on her, and it was finally with a word of her, the last order she intended to give him, that he came with a sigh.
Lying next to him, she kissed his face and lips as he slowly drifted down from his pleasure, and caressed his body lightly, barely brushing the back of her fingers to his c.o.c.k until she could feel it respond under her touch.
Oh, how she would miss him...
Her awareness and his ignorance that it was the last time they would make love made every caress, every kiss bittersweet. Gabrielle tried to learn one last time everything that was him, as their bodies danced with the familiarity given by thousands of nights and days spent together. She tried to fix in her memory the feel of his hand, sliding from her neck, over her breast and down to the apex of her legs; calluses from wielding a sword, and strength, but always so much gentleness. She tried to capture, also, the way he kissed her, her mouth or her skin, but had to give up on that; every single one of his kisses was different and unique. She memorized the way his body twitched under her caresses, the way his nipples peaked as she ran her thumb over them, the way his c.o.c.k pulsed in her hand or seemed to complete her so perfectly when, at last, she stopped torturing the two of them and guided him inside her one last time. Then it was too late to try and remember, and all she could do was feel.
They had f.u.c.ked thousands of times since she had turned him; they had made love even more often than that. But this last time felt like the first, all over again.
Afterwards, he fell asleep with an arm draped over her, and his cheek pressed to her shoulder. For the best part of the day, she remained awake, thinking on how lucky she had been to find him; few Sires kept the same Childe as a favorite for so long. Few were as blessed as she had been.
When the time came to go out and hunt, the next night, she sent Erik with another group. They had fought separately before, and he didn"t question her. When she returned to the lair before him, she chose another Childe practically at random and took him to her bed. That was a first, and all of those present in the lair when she made her choice stood still in shock until she had closed the door behind her and her soon to be lover. She had no doubt that Erik would be informed as soon as he returned, and although she expected him to enter her bedroom and demand an explanation, he didn"t, nor did he say a word when she came out of her room to feed by mid-afternoon.
She sent him to fight with another group again that night, and this time, he reacted, the surprise in hisvoice battling the hurt in his eyes. She refused to listen. They slept apart again.
After three days, each and every one of her Childer was watching them, and wondering what Erik had done to earn such disfavor. Erik clearly wondered the same thing. His pain, even as he stood tall and proud and refused to ask for an explanation, was tearing Gabrielle apart. She wished she could have told him why she was doing this. But if she had explained to him that the time had come for him to found his own lair and become a Master, she knew he would have refused to leave. She had to drive him away, make him ask her to release him. He would, eventually, she was sure of it; she had observed him for so long, she knew he was more than ready. She just didn"t know how long it would take him to understand.
And she hadn"t known, also, that to watch him choose bed companions amongst his fellow Childer after a few weeks would be so difficult. Or that the hurt and anger slowly turning into hate in his eyes would be so painful to witness.
Chapter 9.
Gabrielle returned to her house, with only a slight detour on the way through a clearing that demons often used as a base when they raided the closest villages. She was lucky-a group was there, that night. She didn"t have a heavy weapon with her, only a dagger; a lone demon had broken her sword the previous night just as she had run it through its chest. It didn"t stop her from rushing into the battle though, and soon she had collected a new sword, as well as an axe. She was covered in blood when she eventually abandoned the clearing, but very little of it was hers. She left behind her the demon bodies in a pile, their severed heads lined up in a row as a warning to the next group who would pa.s.s through her territory.
Warnings did not work for long, but they sometimes gave her and her villages a few weeks of respite.
She had expected Erik to be waiting for her when she reached her lair, but it was the girl whom she found sitting on the tree stump by her door. She was alone, and Gabrielle couldn"t help taking in a deep breath; she found traces of Erik"s scent in the air, but they were fading. He must have left some time earlier.
Ignoring the girl, Gabrielle directed the horse to the stable and took care of it, taking her time and almost hoping the girl would be gone once she came out. Of course, she wasn"t. Still pretending she wasn"t there, Gabrielle walked to the side of the house, where the well stood, and drew a bucket of water. She washed her new sword and axe first, cleaning off the sticky blood that covered them before drying them carefully, propping them against the house"s wall when she was done.
The girl had followed, she noticed from the corner of her eye, but that didn"t stop her from shedding her b.l.o.o.d.y clothes. She snickered when the child quickly turned her back on her. It always amused her how shy humans could be in front of naked flesh. Vampires didn"t have such taboos.
"If I have to do a spell to immobilize you so that you"ll listen to me, I"ll do it," the child said with a slightly wavering voice, throwing a quick glance back at Gabrielle. "I"ve done it before, and it worked quite well on Erik. So you might as well let me talk."
Picking up the washcloth and cup of soft soap she kept by the side of the well, Gabrielle snorted at the threat; it would have been a bit more impressive if the girl had been able to look at her. But she wasn"t in the mood to fight anymore, and the sun would soon be up. She figured that the faster the girl said what she had to say, the sooner she"d be gone.
"n.o.body is stopping you," she pointed out as she started running the soapy cloth over her body. "So,talk. But you"d better be done by the time I"m finished cleaning up."
Slowly, the girl turned toward her, clearly fighting her instincts about what was proper and what wasn"t.
Gabrielle paid her no mind and continued washing the blood off her body.
"For seven generations, my village, under Master Lukas" instructions, has looked for a way to end the war," she said, and she sounded as though she were reciting. "We now have perfected a spell which will help restore order and peace over the lands."
She paused, then, and her gaze on Gabrielle made it clear that she expected her to say something. She didn"t. If the child couldn"t see that things weren"t going to change just because a few humans were going to cast a spell, she was a fool. She would learn soon enough, and the lesson would probably be painful.
"We used magic to contact the Primal Forces you set free," she continued, and Gabrielle started to pay a little more attention. "Master Lukas made a deal with them, to return things to what they once were."
She paused again. Gabrielle picked up the bucket of water and emptied it over herself, washing away soap and blood. "How about you get to the point?" she snapped when she had thrown the bucket back into the well and the girl still hadn"t continued.
"We have the means to send you back to the past," the child said with a calm that contrasted with the dangerous flame in her eyes. "We can tell you how to change the ritual you tried to use to harness the Primal Forces so that they will not kill humans as they are unleashed. We already asked Erik to go, but we"d like you to go too in order to double the chances of success, and when..."
She kept on talking, but Gabrielle wasn"t paying attention anymore. In her mind, she could see the battle as she had once envisioned it, her whole clan gaining power and respect from her daring actions, but also ridding the world of demons who couldn"t accept that vampires and human were perfectly content to cohabit.
"Are you listening to me?"
Blinking, Gabrielle focused on the girl again, and the human sighed.
"I know what you"re thinking," she said with a slight shake of her head. "Erik was exactly the same. But you can"t save them. That"s the catch. The Primal Forces will leave all humans alone, but they will slaughter the vampires as they did before. It is the payment they request for you disturbing them in the first place."
Ice seemed to seep into Gabrielle"s bones as she stared at the girl, unable to utter a word.
"Everything will happen the same way," the child continued, "except for a few words you"ll need to add to the ritual. They will sweep over the world, and kill vampires, but they will leave humans alone so that there will be enough of us to give us a chance to fight back demons. Those are the terms of the bargain Master Lukas struck with the Primal Forces to send you back. If you try to change anything else, you"ll just make everything worse."
Gabrielle knew, before the girl even finished, what her answer was. See them all again, her clan, her family, know that they were about to die, because of her, and that she could do nothing to protect them?
She couldn"t go through that, not again. And at the same time, she knew why Erik had accepted. His human lover would be spared, this time around. He wasn"t only going back to give humans a fightingchance against demons; he was returning there to be with her.
"No."
The word was stripped of all emotion, as Gabrielle herself felt. The girl seemed about to insist, but her open mouth closed without a sound and she seemed to stand straighter suddenly.
"I promised Erik I would accept your decision and not try to make you change your mind," she said coldly. "But that won"t stop me from telling you this. Some of my people died to make this happen. And they accepted it, because that"s the only way we will survive as a race. And you ... you are given the chance to repair what you did, to save the humans you swore to protect, and-"
"I thought you wouldn"t try to make me change my mind," Gabrielle cut in, earning herself an icy glare before the girl turned her back on her. She should have let her go, but she couldn"t help it, and had to ask: "Where is he?"
The girl didn"t ask who, and after a few seconds of silence gave her the name of a village before striding away toward her horse. It was only when the tingle down her spine warned her of the imminence of sunrise that Gabrielle shook herself from her thoughts and entered her lair, leaving the clothes she had washed to dry outside, but taking the weapons in. She went to bed, trying to clear her mind from everything she had seen and heard that night.
Erik and the girl, riding together. Were they lovers?
The battle and how she could change it. How could Lukas have agreed to such a bargain?
The deaths she couldn"t prevent and those she could. Why had she lived when her whole clan, or almost, had not?
When sleep finally took her, it was to offer her more regrets over things that could never be.
Gabrielle had traveled for the best part of the night, changing her mind several times and turning her horse around until she had barely known anymore which way she was going-and which way she wanted to go. But, she had finally reached the village whose name the child had given her, and the first human she had questioned had been able to direct her to the small house on the outside of the village. She went there with more hesitation than ever and knocked before pushing the door open; there was Erik, sitting on the edge of the bed, his naked back to Gabrielle.
"I didn"t think you"d come," he said quietly, almost too much so for her to understand the words.
"I had to come," Gabrielle replied, just as low. "I missed you,"
"Did you, now?" his voice turned bitter. "You"re the one who kicked me out of your bed. You"re the one who left, after the battle. No one forced you to live alone all these years."
And it was true, oh so true ... Yet there was more to it, and it might have been time to explain to him.
Silently, preparing her words, Gabrielle approached the bed and kneeled on it, coming to rest just behind Erik. "If I had only known..." she started, and brought her hands to rest lightly on Erik"s shoulders, causing the younger vampire to shudder.
"No, that"s not right," she continued after a second, and began to lightly knead the tense muscles beneath her fingers. "I knew how lonely I"d be. Just like I had been since I pushed you away. But I...".
She pressed herself closer to Erik"s back, uncurling one leg, then the other, on each side of her Childe.
"I guess I have to explain first why I did push you away."
The words were more difficult than she had imagined, and before she could manage to pursue, Erik offered his own explanation. "Because after a century and half, you got tired of me?"
"No!" Her hands clenched on his shoulders and he tensed under the undoubtedly painful touch until she let go and wrapped her arms around him. "Never," she continued more quietly, wishing with all that she was for him to believe her. "I never tired of you, I don"t think I ever could. But you ... you grew strong, during all this time. As strong as I was, or almost. You were ready to be a Master, ready to have your own lair and clan..."
"If you hadn"t pushed me away, I"d never have left you," he interrupted her, and she buried a deep sigh in the crook of his neck.
"I know, my Childe. I always knew. And that"s exactly why I did push you away. I wanted you to make the decision on your own to become your own Master. I needed you to make that decision, since I knew you wouldn"t let me impose it on you."
Long seconds of silence followed, and Gabrielle wished she could have seen Erik"s face to know what he was thinking. He finally answered her silent question with a whisper.
"I was ready to ask to be freed, when the last battle happened. I had told Catarina I would fight one last time for you, and then..."
"I know, my Childe," Gabrielle repeated, her heart breaking both at the anguish in Erik"s voice and at hearing him p.r.o.nounce his lover"s name. "The last battle changed everything. For you, but also for me. I lost all my clan save for you, and I tried to cling to you, that night. That"s why I asked you to stay ... and you didn"t answer." She took a deep breath, reliving the hurt of that instant. "I don"t blame you, I understand. When I needed you, it was too late, you didn"t love me anymore, and I didn"t feel like I had a right to force you. Not after the way I had treated you."
Backing away for an instant, Gabrielle got rid of her tunic, letting it fall on the bed behind her, before pressing her bare chest to Erik"s smooth back.
"And then," she continued, her words a caress against Erik"s skin, "you were there again, and I thought..."
Her arms curled a little tighter around Erik"s waist, holding him in place when he suddenly tensed.
"You thought what? That I"d forget?" "No. That you"d forgive."
Gabrielle"s free hand glided along well-defined abs, slowly enough that Erik could have stopped her, had he wanted to. All the younger vampire did was drop his head back to rest on Gabrielle"s shoulder, baring his neck in a silent display of submission. She explored a little lower, still, her fingers playing along Erik"s crotch, rubbing the material of his breeches against his growing hard-on.
"I looked for you. All this time, I did."
Her words were barely louder than a breath; her hand pressed harder, eliciting a quiet moan. Taking her cue, Gabrielle undid the laces of Erik"s pants, welcoming the heavy c.o.c.k into her hand. She closed her fist tight around it and started stroking him, initiating a slow pace, intent on making this rediscovery last as long as it could.
"I wish I had never pushed you away," she breathed. "I wish I had known how to convince you to stay."
And that part was nothing but pure truth.
Erik"s head shifted against Gabrielle"s shoulder even as he began pumping his hips up, f.u.c.king himself into her fist. Gabrielle held him tighter against her. She trailed her lips, then her tongue, against the bared neck of her Childe, brushing against scars that had almost, but not quite, faded with age.
"I swear," Erik grunted between two moans, "that if you leave me again, I-"
Without waiting for the end of that statement, Gabrielle sank her fangs into Erik"s shoulder and took deep pulls on his blood, her hand pumping in the same harsh rhythm until Erik stiffened under her and came all over her hand. She waited until the strong body had gone slack against her, and then pulled back, licking the b.l.o.o.d.y wounds, whispering against them: "By your blood and mine, I promise I won"t."
Raising her hand to her mouth, she licked off Erik"s spending from her fingers before tearing down into her wrist. She pressed the bleeding flesh to Erik"s mouth, and moaned lightly as his mouth latched onto it. The deep pulls he took seemed to set her entire body ablaze; it had been too long, since she had shared blood with a Childe like this. Too long since she had kissed Erik. Too long since they had shared a bed, and their lives.
Breathing heavily, Gabrielle sat up in her bed, the sheet rolling down to pool at her waist. For a long time, she stared up straight ahead in the empty bedroom, her eyes wide open but seeing nothing, and tried to convince herself that things were better like this. Nothing would change if she went to see Erik. A dream couldn"t change anything, not anymore than a few words of explanation or an apology. Too much time had pa.s.sed for words to heal old wounds.
For the next three days and two nights, she repeated the same thing to herself, even when, more than once, she found herself starting to take the road that led to the village where Erik was. She ached to go to him, even if it was only to see him from afar and not talk to him. She didn"t know when he would be sent back to relive that terrible battle; she didn"t know either what would happen after that. Would a change in the past affect her present? Would the world be different around her, would she even know the difference? The one thing she knew was that she would still lose her clan, and all of her Childer. Even the only one who wouldn"t die would remain beyond her reach. She gave in on the third night. She didn"t know yet what she would tell Erik. Maybe she would just wish him good luck, maybe she would tell him everything that had weighed on her heart for so long. But at least she would talk to him one last time before he left. And who knew, he might remember her words, when the past-her asked him again to stay with her. He might remember that, after two hundred years, she had still missed him. Still cared for him more than she could admit out loud.
Heeling her horse to a gallop, she went to her Childe, hoping the whole way that she wouldn"t be too late. Far in the distance, she could hear thunder rolling, and in her mind the sound was a.s.sociated forever with that battle she had lost to such tragic consequences. She only urged the horse to go faster.
But when she entered the house a villager had indicated to her, it was empty.
Chapter 10.
Meghan knew what Gabrielle looked like, the Master who protected her village had provided her with a drawing of her that Erik had confirmed was accurate, but she nonetheless arched an inquisitive eyebrow toward him for confirmation. He merely nodded, and she urged her horse to go a bit faster to catch up with the older vampire. After a moment of hesitation, Erik stayed a little behind.
He hadn"t expected that they would find his Sire so quickly; he had been leading Meghan to Gabrielle"s lair, and had planned, even if he hadn"t informed Meghan of his intentions, to leave his travel companion to do the talking and explaining without meeting Gabrielle himself. It seemed that he wouldn"t have a choice now, short of turning his horse back and fleeing; he didn"t flee in front of demons, he certainly wasn"t going to do so in front of Gabrielle. And deep down, he could admit that he wasn"t really upset to have come across her like this.
He hadn"t seen her in months, not since he had left her home after having saved her life and taken care of her. The temptation to return to her, to the only person left from a long gone time, had been very strong, but Erik had resisted it. He had left her territory, traveled, eventually admitting to himself that he had been running away from Gabrielle. Hiding. Better to be alone than to suffer again.
And then, he hadn"t been alone anymore. He had stumbled upon Meghan a couple of months back. She had pulled out a drawing of him, called him by name, and he had been sure she intended to kill him, like so many others before her. They had fought, he with his fists and feet, she with her magic, and he wasn"t sure anymore if he had tried to kill her, or to taunt her into dusting him. He had lost the count of the vampires or humans who had come after him because he had been part of the battle that had changed the world for the worse.
She hadn"t come to kill him however, and she wouldn"t let him change her plans, going as far as to knock him down with a blow to the head so that she could tie him up to make him listen to what she had to say.
She had figured out, eventually, that if she wasn"t directly in front of him, in his line of sight, her words were lost to him. She had never said anything about it, never asked a question, never shown a hint of pity, but after that she had always made sure he was looking at her when she spoke. He was grateful to her more for the lack of pity than for the care she put in catching his attention.
It had only taken him seconds, once he had understood what it was all about, to agree to her proposal.
He knew it would only be for a short time, knew that he wouldn"t be able to save any of them, not even Catarina, but at least he"d get to see them a last time, talk to them, get a grin, maybe. A touch. A kiss.
After decades of loneliness, he had started to forget their faces, their voices. Hers, too. He didn"t wantto, couldn"t forget them. Not forget and remain sane.