But she was there in the dawn breaking twigs for the fire.
He let his head down on his arms and got his breath.
"I didn"t go to sleep," she said. "I couldn"t sleep."
"Well, a h.e.l.l of a lot of time we"re going to make today." He got up and went off to the bushes, and came back and washed and shaved at the riverside.
She had breakfast ready when he sat down at the fire.
So he ate, watching the riverside and watching the light on the water and thinking on as little as he had thought about in mornings at the cabin.
Except he missed the cabin. He wished he was there. With her. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. And patiently combed it and put it up before he set to putting his shin-guards on.
Taizu came and squatted in front of him, in shirt and armor-breeches, arms between her knees.
"Do you remember what you said last night?" she asked.
"What do you mean, what I said last night?"
She bit her lip, ready to take offense.
"I mean," he said, "I d.a.m.n well remember what I said last night! What do you expect?" d.a.m.n, he had upset her. He was not his most diplomatic in the mornings. He threw the second shin-guard down and looked at her, at a very off-put Taizu, who had her jaw clamped. "Oh, h.e.l.l!" Cross-purposes again. "It"s not two merchants haggling over a load of salt, girl. It"s not a financial arrangement. I"ve got nothing to give you-" He thought then, as he had not thought-what would happen to her ifhe were the one killed, and she were left, his wife, with his enemies, and that was enough to upset his stomach. "Not a d.a.m.n thing I haven"t already given."
"Can"t you not swear at me?"
"I don"t want to swear at you. G.o.ds know I don"t. All right, don"t.Dont promise me anything." He picked up the shin-guard again and fitted it, beginning the ties. "It"s all getting too complicated. I"m not trying to stop you."
"Then why are you trying to marry me?"
"O-G.o.ds." He rested his head against his hand. Looked up again with all the calm and patience he could muster, into two puzzled, earnest eyes.
"I want toknow! You"re asking me to do something, I want to know!"
Not surprising he made no sense to her, he thought. He made none to himself, nothing he wanted to bring into the light.
"What do you want out of me?" she asked.
He made the ties. He worked his arms into the armor-sleeves and tied the cords across his chest.
And she never said a thing to him. She just waited, arms on knees. Peasant-like.
So master Saukendar could get the lump out of his throat and get his balance back and manage some dignity. Hehated being coddled.
Which was, he thought, close to what he was asking. Once in his life.
"I"m used to peopleloving me, girl. The whole world loved me. Love"s d.a.m.n cheap. You can buy it in the marketand the court, two a penny."
She looked shocked. "I"m too old for you," he said. "I was too old when you were born." He got up and felt the old pain, the way he felt it at every such move, always there.I"m not coming back , he thought again.Not from this one. Why all this thought of permanency?
"Master Shoka-"
Plaintively. Sharp as a knife.
He picked up the body armor and fitted it on, walking over to fetch Jiro.
"You"re not old!" she yelled at his back.
And ran and grabbed at his arm, but he interposed a hand and a foul look, at which she was wise enough and respectful enough to stop.
So they took the road again, no different than they had begun.
Chapter Thirteen.
The land became lower, the land became level, and rice-fields and dikes marked the beginning of farms, the tributaries of Ygotai.
And among the dike roads a pasture and a tolerably decent few horses.
"They belong to the judge," a farmer said.
"Stay here," Shoka said, and took the locket, the gold they had gotten, and the coins which he had, in the foolishness of their first acquaintance, proposed for Taizu"s dowry.
And leaving Taizu to sit and guard their baggage by the dike-side, he rode to the judge"s gate.
"My name is Sengi," he said, leaning an elbow on Jiro"s saddlebow and looking down at the gatekeeper.
"CaptainSengi, to see the judge-I understand he has horses for sale."
The magistrate was, thank the G.o.ds, not a man he knew or ever had heard of, a fat old man very nervous to find a mercenary captain at his gate; but a good deal happier to see that captain rattle a heavy purse and announce that he had given his remount to a friend and looked to acquire a serviceable animal-with tack.
So he left Jiro tied in the shade-calling out loud and friendly salutations to one of the judge"s mares and generally giving grief to the judge"s grooms-and walked out to the small pasture with the judge, to look at several fine mares, to admire their fine points, to talk horse-breeding, a pa.s.sion of the elderly judge, and to agree with the judge"s wisdom absolutely-which he figured might lower the price within his reach.
So one sat in the shade of the judge"s garden, one sipped beautifully prepared tea- -One remembered gentler times then, and felt a little pang, and felt the years shift back and forth in insane depth- A garden, a path, a shade and a pool with an arching bridge.
His own house.
But it was forfeit. Confiscated.
"This is what I have." Shoka laid out the gold locket and the rings. And added a couple of coins. "I appreciate a fine horse. I"m afraid I know too well what they"re worth. But the sorrel with the white foot.
"Brood mare potential. You should have seen her sire. . . ."
"Certainly. But I couldn"t possibly afford the bay . . ."
It took the whole d.a.m.ned afternoon. He imagined Taizu fretting and fretting out there on the road. He imagined a whole troop of imperial guards coming along and asking questions Taizu could not answer.
But there was no way to evade the old man, who asked him about affairs further north.
"M"lord, I"ve come in from Mendang. I"ve no idea. How are things in Hoishi?"
At which the old man temporized: "About what they have been."
"Cheng"di?"
"About the same. How in Hoisan?"
Cagey old wretch, Shoka thought.
And wished to h.e.l.l he could get something current out of him.
But if he asked how were the crops, then the old fox would suspect something-a mercenary captain who went asking . . . might have banditry in mind; and the village judge was not the person to rouse suspicions with. So he drank the tea and talked over horses past and present.
He praised the old judge"s favorite. He said-the truth-that he had seen the Emperor"s own farms and-a lie-there had been none better. But he had no more gold, just a pittance of silver that he needed to live on.
They were down to bargaining for the tack.
Finally he turned out his purse and spent everything.
Thank the G.o.ds he had left a little reserve with Taizu.
"That," the judge said, "is avery fine horse you have. I don"t suppose you"d part with him?"
Eventually it was a three-year-old bay mare he rode back leading behind him, a creature with a white face, one hind foot white to the hock, one forefoot white to the knee, a broad, powerful rump and a good chest. Not precisely the most ordinary horse in the province. He would have preferred somethingless marked, but it was a good horse, the judge was anxious to sell her and he was anxious to get clear of the farm.
And Taizu, who came out from her ditch and her bushes to meet him-looked by her stance exactly the way he had expected, worried witless by now and thinking the worst; but it was a different look when he came closer and she had a look at the horse he had brought her.
"She"sbeautiful! But-"
"She"s loud as a riverman"s wh.o.r.e," he admitted. It had come down to two, one unremarkable in all points, including her bones. "I did what I could. This one"s sound, she"s strong and she"s trained for a soldier. I"d rather you had her under you in a pinch." He gave her the reins. "Climb up on her. Try her out."
"Can weafford her?"
"Jiro clinched the bargain."
"Jiro!My G.o.ds-!"
"All our gold and Jiro"s best try at the judge"s bay mare." He patted Jiro"s neck. "Poor old lad. Gave everything he had. Didn"t you, son?"
Jiro was still unsettled. Jiro bounced and danced in place and worked to get the bit while Taizu made her acquaintance of the bow-nosed, white-legged mare. And the look in Taizu"s eyes and the fever in her hands touched a horseman"s heart.
"Up!" he said. "It"d be like the old skinflint to change his mind and send his house guard after us! Let"s be out of here."
She put her foot in the stirrup, she got herself up, and the mare, skittish with Jiro and a strange rider, danced off sideways, but she steadied. Good hands. A good seat. d.a.m.n fine seat.
"I thought you could handle her," Shoka said. "After Jiro." He rode close and pa.s.sed her the paper he had. "Bill of sale. Hang onto that. If we get separated I don"t want them calling you a horsethief."
"G.o.ds, she"s beautiful."
"d.a.m.n, girl,I never get these compliments." He let Jiro move, down the dike road, and the mare caught up and paced neatly beside, an energetic clip, with a good deal of neck-stretching and eye-rolling and side-stepping between the stud and the mare. "Watch it, there!"
"Men," Taizu said. There was a tremor in her voice. A before-battle kind of shiver. Her eyes were bright. Her hands kept the reins under constant light tension, the mare trying every little shift, testing what was on her, flirting with the stud next to her, and finding out her rider was right with her every move.
Jiro for his part was a very happy fellow.
More than I can say, Shoka thought dourly, and thought back on the judge, d.a.m.n him, who had flatly asked how he had turned to mercenary service, where he had served, whose hire he was in- Sengi, m"lord, no, but my father was from Tengu, well, we lost our land, m"lord. No prospects. I"ll be riding back to Choedri, north, hoping for hire. Maybe there. Clear to Cheng"di if I have to. You don"t know what my prospects are there?
d.a.m.ned spooky, he thought, d.a.m.ned spooky the way the old man kept looking at him, saying:I don"t doubt you"d find employment there. Where are you coming from?
Caravan guard, m"lord. But I"ve had a belly full of foreign places. I"m coming home. I don"t suppose-there"s much change in the last couple of years. . . .
No. Again with that strange look. And: Let me show you a mare you haven"t seen. . . .
Down the levies to the river again. The whole horse-bargaining had taken three times as much time as he had wanted and it was twilight by the time they came to the bridge. "I don"t want to stopin Ygotai,"
Shoka had said before they had ever set about the matter of the horses, and now he cast a look over his shoulder, with more and more of a p.r.i.c.kling at his nape. ThankG.o.ds , it was still clear back there.
"What"s wrong?"
"A nosy old man."
"The judge? You think he knew you?"
"I don"t know."
"Well, what did hedo? "
"Questions. Too d.a.m.n many questions. How areyou doing? Can we keep going?"
"I can ride all night if we have to, it"s not my legs. -What kind of questions?"
"Who I am, where from. My name is Sengi. I"m a caravan guard. A captain of caravan guards. I used to be a gentleman, you"re my wife, the bill of sale is valid. We stay by that story."
"Itold you we shouldn"t deal with a judge! They always ask questions! He could have recognized you!"
"Village judges don"t get to court. I never met this man!"
"Maybehe wasn"t always a village judge."