_Lord J._ As much a mistake as your singing it, sir, I presume----
_Rory._ Just as much. "Twas all a mistake. So now don"t you go and make a mistake into a misunderstanding. It was I made every word of the song _out o" the face_[10]--that about the back that never was bent, and the ancestors of the oyster, and all. He did not waste a word of it; upon my conscience, I wrote it all--though I"ll engage you didn"t think I could write such a good thing. (_Lord John turns away._) I"m telling you the truth, and not a word of a lie, and yet you won"t believe me.
[10] From beginning to end.
_Lord J._ You will excuse me, sir, if I cannot believe two contradictory a.s.sertions within two minutes. Mr. Talbot, I thank you (_going_).
(_Rory tries to stop Lord John from going, but cannot.--Exit Lord John._)
_Rory._ Well, if he _will_ go, let him go then, and much good may it do him. Nay, but don"t you go too.
_Talb._ O Rory, what have you done?--(_Talbot runs after Lord J._) Hear me, my lord.
(_Exit Talbot._)
_Rory._ Hear him! hear him! hear him!--Well, I"m point blank mad with myself for making this blunder; but how could I help it? As sure as ever I am meaning to do the best thing on earth, it turns out the worst.
_Enter a party of lads, huzzaing._
_Rory_ (_joins_). Huzza! huzza!--Who, pray, are ye huzzaing for?
_1st Boy._ Wheeler! Wheeler for ever! huzza!
_Rory._ Talbot! Talbot for ever! huzza! Captain Talbot for ever! huzza!
_2nd Boy._ _Captain_ he"ll never be,--at least not to-morrow; for Lord John has just declared for Wheeler.
_1st Boy._ And that turns the scale.
_Rory._ Oh, the scale may turn back again.
_3rd Boy._ Impossible! Lord John has just given his _promise_ to Wheeler. I heard him with my own ears.
(_Several speak at once._) And I heard him; and I! and I! and I!--Huzza!
Wheeler for ever!
_Rory._ Oh, murder! murder! murder! (_Aside._) This goes to my heart!
it"s all my doing. O, my poor Talbot! murder! murder! murder! But I won"t let them see me cast down, and it is good to be huzzaing at all events. Huzza for Talbot! Talbot for ever! huzza!
(_Exit._)
_Enter_ WHEELER _and_ BURSAL.
_Wheel._ Who was that huzzaing for Talbot?
(_Rory behind the scenes_, "Huzza for Talbot! Talbot for ever!
huzza!")
_Burs._ Pooh, it is only Rory O"Ryan, or the roaring lion, as I call him. Ha! ha! ha! Rory O"Ryan, _alias_ O"Ryan, the roaring lion; that"s a good one; put it about--Rory O"Ryan, the roaring lion, ha! ha! ha! but you don"t take it--you don"t laugh, Wheeler.
_Wheeler._ Ha! ha! ha! Oh, upon my honour I do laugh; ha! ha! ha! (_It is the hardest work to laugh at his wit--aside._) (_Aloud._) Rory O"Ryan, the roaring lion--ha! ha! ha! You know I always laugh, Bursal, at your jokes--he! he! he!--ready to kill myself.
_Burs._ (_sullenly_). You are easily killed, then, if that much laughing will do the business.
_Wheel._ (_coughing_). Just then--something stuck in my throat; I beg your pardon.
_Burs._ (_still sullen_). Oh, you need not beg my pardon about the matter; I don"t care whether you laugh or no--not I. Now you have got Lord John to declare for you, you are above laughing at my jokes, I suppose.
_Wheel._ No, upon my word and honour, _I did_ laugh.
_Burs._ (_aside_). A fig for your word and honour. (_Aloud._) I know I"m of no consequence now; but you"ll remember that, if his lordship has the honour of making you captain, he must have the honour to pay for your captain"s accoutrements; for I shan"t pay the piper, I promise you, since I"m of no consequence.
_Wheel._ Of no consequence! But, my dear Bursal, what could put that into your head? that"s the strangest, oddest fancy. Of no consequence!
Bursal, of no consequence! Why, everybody that knows anything--everybody that has seen Bursal House--knows that you are of the greatest consequence, my dear Bursal.
_Burs._ (_taking out his watch, and opening it, looks at it_). No, I"m of no consequence. I wonder that rascal Finsbury is not come yet with the dresses (_still looking at his watch_).
_Wheel._ (_aside_). If Bursal takes it into his head not to lend me the money to pay for my captain"s dress, what will become of me? for I have not a shilling--and Lord John won"t pay for me--and Finsbury has orders not to leave the house till he is paid by everybody. What will become of me?--(_bites his nails_).
_Burs._ (_aside_). How I love to make him bite his nails! (_Aloud._) I know I"m of no consequence. (_Strikes his repeater._)
_Wheel._ What a fine repeater that is of yours, Bursal! It is the best I ever heard.
_Burs._ So it well may be; for it cost a mint of money.
_Wheel._ No matter to you what anything costs. Happy dog as you are! You roll in money; and yet you talk of being of no consequence.
_Burs._ But I am not of half so much consequence as Lord John--am I?
_Wheel._ Are you? Why, aren"t you twice as rich as he!
_Burs._ Very true, but I"m not purse-proud.
_Wheel._ You purse-proud! I should never have thought of such a thing.
_Burs._ Nor I, if Talbot had not used the word.
_Wheel._ But Talbot thinks everybody purse-proud that has a purse.
_Burs._ (_aside_). Well, this Wheeler does put one into a good humour with one"s self in spite of one"s teeth. (_Aloud._) Talbot says blunt things; but I don"t think he"s what you can call clever--hey, Wheeler?
_Wheel._ Clever! Oh, not he.
_Burs._ I think I could walk round him.
_Wheel._ To be sure you could. Why, do you know, I"ve _quizzed_ him famously myself within this quarter of an hour?
_Burs._ Indeed! I wish I had been by.