_1st Boy._ I"ve not paid, but here"s my money.
_Several Boys._ We have not paid, but here"s our money.
_6th Boy._ Order there, I am marshal. All that have paid march off to the staircase, and take your seats there, one by one. March!
(_As they march by, one by one, so as to display their dresses, Mr. Finsbury bows, and says,_)
A thousand thanks, gentlemen. Thank you, gentlemen. Thanks, gentlemen.
The finest sight ever I saw out of Lon"on.
_Rory, as each lad pa.s.ses, catches his arm,_ Are you a Talbot_ite_, or a Wheeler_ite_? _To each who answers_ "A Wheelerite," _Rory replies_, "Phoo! dance off, then. Go to the devil and shake yourself."[11] _Each who answers_ "A Talbot.i.te," _Rory shakes by the hand violently, singing,_
Talbot, oh, Talbot"s the dog for Rory.
_When they have almost all pa.s.sed, Lord John says,_ But where can Mr.
Talbot be all this time?
[11] This is the name of a country dance.
_Burs._ Who knows? Who cares?
_Wheel._ A pretty electioneerer! (_Aside to Bursal._) Finsbury"s waiting to be paid.
_Lord J._ You don"t wait for me, Mr. Finsbury. You know, I have settled with you.
_Fins._ Yes, my lord--yes. Many thanks; and I have left your lordship"s dress here, and everybody"s dress, I believe, as bespoke.
_Burs._ Here, Finsbury, is the money for Wheeler, who, between you and me, is as poor as a rat.
_Wheeler_ (_affecting to laugh_). Well, I hope I shall be as rich as a Jew to-morrow.
(_Bursal counts money, in an ostentatious manner, into Finsbury"s hand._)
_Fins._ A thousand thanks for all favours.
_Rory._ You will be kind enough to _lave_ Mr. Talbot"s dress with me, Mr. Finsbury, for I"m a friend.
_Fins._ Indubitably, sir; but the misfortune is--he! he! he!--Mr.
Talbot, sir, has bespoke no dress. Your servant, gentlemen.
(_Exit Finsbury._)
_Burs._ So your friend Mr. Talbot could not afford to bespeak a dress--(_Bursal and Wheeler laugh insolently_). How comes that, I wonder?
_Lord J._ If I"m not mistaken, here comes Talbot to answer for himself.
_Rory._ But who, in the name of St. Patrick, has he along with him?
_Enter_ TALBOT _and_ LANDLORD.
_Talb._ Come in along with us, Farmer Hearty--come in.
(_Whilst the Farmer comes in, the boys who were sitting on the stairs rise and exclaim,_)
Whom have we here? What now? Come down, lads; here"s more fun.
_Rory._ What"s here, Talbot?
_Talb._ An honest farmer and a good-natured landlord, who _would_ come here along with me to speak----
_Farm._ (_interrupting_). To speak the truth--(_strikes his stick on the ground_).
_Landlord_ (_unb.u.t.toning his waistcoat_). But I am so hot--so short-winded, that (_panting and puffing_)--that for the soul and body of me, I cannot say what I have got for to say.
_Rory._ "Faith, now, the more short-winded a story, the better, to my fancy.
_Burs._ Wheeler, what"s the matter, man? you look as if your under jaw was broke.
_Farm._ The matter is, young gentlemen, that there was once upon a time a fine bay hunter.
_Wheel._ (_squeezing up to Talbot, aside_). Don"t expose me, don"t let him tell. (_To the Farmer._) I"ll pay for the corn I spoiled. (_To the Landlord._) I"ll pay for the horse.
_Farm._ I does not want to be paid for my corn. The short of it is, young gentlemen, this "un here, in the fine thing-em-bobs (_pointing to Wheeler_), is a shabby fellow; he went and spoiled Master Newington"s best hunter.
_Land._ (_panting_). Ruinationed him! ruinationed him!
_Rory._ But was that all the shabbiness? Now I might, or any of us might, have had such an accident as that. I suppose he paid the gentleman for the horse, or will do so, in good time.
_Land._ (_holding his sides_). Oh, that I had but a little breath in this body o" mine to speak all--speak on, Farmer.
_Farm._ (_striking his stick on the floor_). Oons, sir, when a man"s put out, he can"t go on with his story.
_Omnes._ Be quiet, Rory--hush!
(_Rory puts his finger on his lips._)
_Farm._ Why, sir, I was a-going to tell you the shabbiness--why, sir, he did not pay the landlord, here, for the horse; but he goes and says to the landlord, here--"Mr. Talbot had your horse on the self-same day; "twas he did the damage; "tis from he you must get your money." So Mr.
Talbot, here, who is another sort of a gentleman (though he has not so fine a coat), would not see a man at a loss, that could not afford it; and not knowing which of "em it was that spoiled the horse, goes, when he finds the other would not pay a farthing, and pays all.
_Rory_ (_rubbing his hands_). There"s Talbot for ye. And now, gentlemen (_to Wheeler and Bursal_), you guess the _rason_, as I do, I suppose, why he bespoke no dress; he had not money enough to be fine--and honest, too. You are very fine, Mr. Wheeler, to do you justice.
_Lord J._ Pray, Mr. O"Ryan, let the farmer go on; he has more to say.
How did you find out, pray, my good friend, that it was not Talbot who spoiled the horse? Speak loud enough to be heard by everybody.
_Farm._ Ay, that I will--I say (_very loudly_) I say I saw _him_ there (_pointing to Wheeler_) take the jump which strained the horse; and I"m ready to swear to it. Yet he let another pay; there"s the shabbiness.
(_A general groan from all the lads._ "Oh, shabby Wheeler, shabby! I"ll not vote for shabby Wheeler!")