Let those who are tempted to do wrong by the hopes of future gratification, or the prospect of certain concealment and impunity, remember that, unless they are totally depraved, they bear in their own hearts a monitor, who will prevent their enjoying what they ill obtained.
In vain Cecilia ran to the rest of her companions, to display her present, in hopes that the applause of others would restore her own self-complacency; in vain she saw the Flora pa.s.s in due pomp from hand to hand, each vying with the other in extolling the beauty of the gift and the generosity of the giver. Cecilia was still displeased with herself, with them, and even with their praise. From Louisa"s grat.i.tude, however, she yet expected much pleasure, and immediately she ran upstairs to her room.
In the meantime, Leonora had gone into the hall to buy a bodkin; she had just broken hers. In giving her change, the peddler took out of his pocket, with some halfpence, the very box which Cecilia had sold to him.
Leonora did not in the least suspect the truth, for her mind was above suspicion; and besides, she had the utmost confidence in Cecilia.
"I should like to have that box," said she, "for it is like one of which I was very fond."
The peddler named the price, and Leonora took the box. She intended to give it to little Louisa. On going to her room she found her asleep, and she sat softly down by her bedside. Louisa opened her eyes.
"I hope I didn"t disturb you," said Leonora. "Oh no; I didn"t hear you come in; but what have you got there?" "It is only a little box; would you like to have it? I bought it on purpose for you, as I thought perhaps it would please you, because it"s like that which I gave Cecilia." "Oh yes! that out of which she used to give me Barbary drops.
I am very much obliged to you; I always thought _that_ exceedingly pretty, and this, indeed, is as like it as possible. I can"t unscrew it; will you try?"
Leonora unscrewed it. "Goodness!" exclaimed Louisa, "this must be Cecilia"s box. Look, don"t you see a great L at the bottom of it?"
Leonora"s colour changed. "Yes," she replied calmly, "I see that; but it is no proof that it is Cecilia"s. You know that I bought this box just now of the peddler." "That may be," said Louisa; "but I remember scratching that L with my own needle, and Cecilia scolded me for it, too. Do go and ask her if she has lost her box--do," repeated Louisa, pulling her by the ruffle, as she did not seem to listen.
Leonora, indeed, did not hear, for she was lost in thought. She was comparing circ.u.mstances which had before escaped her attention. She recollected that Cecilia had pa.s.sed her as she came into the hall, without seeming to see her, but had blushed as she pa.s.sed. She remembered that the peddler appeared unwilling to part with the box, and was going to put it again in his pocket with the halfpence. "And why should he keep it in his pocket, and not show it with his other things?"
Combining all these circ.u.mstances, Leonora had no longer any doubt of the truth, for though she had an honourable confidence in her friends, she had too much penetration to be implicitly credulous.
"Louisa," she began, but at this instant she heard a step, which, by its quickness, she knew to be Cecilia"s, coming along the pa.s.sage.
"If you love me, Louisa," said Leonora, "say nothing about the box."
"Nay, but why not? I daresay she had lost it." "No, my dear, I"m afraid she has not." Louisa looked surprised. "But I have reasons for desiring you not to say anything about it." "Well, then, I won"t, indeed."
Cecilia opened the door, came forward smiling, as if secure of a good reception, and taking the Flora out of the case, she placed it on the mantelpiece, opposite to Louisa"s bed.
"Dear, how beautiful!" cried Louisa, starting up. "Yes," said Cecilia, "and guess who it"s for." "For me, perhaps!" said the ingenuous Louisa.
"Yes, take it, and keep it for my sake. You know that I broke your mandarin." "Oh, but this is a great deal prettier and larger than that."
"Yes, I know it is; and I meant that it should be so. I should only have done what I was bound to do if I had only given you a mandarin."
"Well," replied Louisa, "and that would have been enough, surely; but what a beautiful crown of roses! and then that basket of flowers! they almost look as if I could smell them. Dear Cecilia, I"m very much obliged to you; but I won"t take it by way of payment for the mandarin you broke; for I"m sure you could not help that, and, besides, I should have broken it myself by this time. You shall give it to me entirely; and, as your keepsake, I"ll keep it as long as I live."
Louisa stopped short and coloured; the word keepsake recalled the box to her mind, and all the train of ideas which the Flora had banished.
"But," said she, looking up wistfully in Cecilia"s face, and holding the Flora doubtfully, "did you----"
Leonora, who was just quitting the room, turned her head back, and gave Louisa a look, which silenced her.
Cecilia was so infatuated with her vanity, that she neither perceived Leonora"s sign nor Louisa"s confusion, but continued showing off her present, by placing it in various situations, till at length she put it into the case, and laying it down with an affected carelessness upon the bed, "I must go now, Louisa. Good-bye," said she, running up and kissing her; "but I"ll come again presently"; then, clapping the door after her, she went. But as soon as the fermentation of her spirits subsided, the sense of shame, which had been scarcely felt when mixed with so many other sensations, rose uppermost in her mind. "What!" said she to herself, "is it possible that I have sold what I promised to keep for ever? and what Leonora gave me? and I have concealed it too, and have been making a parade of my generosity. Oh! what would Leonora, what would Louisa--what would everybody think of me if the truth were known?"
Humiliated and grieved by these reflections, Cecilia began to search in her own mind for some consoling idea. She began to compare her conduct with that of others of her own age; and at length, fixing her comparison upon her brother George, as the companion of whom, from her infancy, she had been habitually the most emulous, she recollected that an almost similar circ.u.mstance had once happened to him, and that he had not only escaped disgrace, but had acquired glory, by an intrepid confession of his fault. Her father"s word to her brother, on the occasion, she also perfectly recollected.
"Come to me, George," he said, holding out his hand, "you are a generous, brave boy: they who dare to confess their faults will make great and good men."
These were his words; but Cecilia, in repeating them to herself, forgot to lay that emphasis on the word _men_ which would have placed it in contradistinction to the word women. She willingly believed that the observation extended equally to both s.e.xes, and flattered herself that she should exceed her brother in merit if she owned a fault which she thought that it would be so much more difficult to confess. "Yes, but,"
said she, stopping herself, "how can I confess it? This very evening, in a few hours, the prize will be decided. Leonora or I shall win it. I have now as good a chance as Leonora, perhaps a better; and must I give up all my hopes--all that I have been labouring for this month past? Oh, I never can! If it were but to-morrow, or yesterday, or any day but this, I would not hesitate; but now I am almost certain of the prize, and if I win it--well, why then I will--I think I will tell all--yes I will; I am determined," said Cecilia.
Here a bell summoned them to dinner. Leonora sat opposite to her, and she was not a little surprised to see Cecilia look so gay and unconstrained. "Surely," said she to herself, "if Cecilia had done that which I suspect, she would not, she could not, look as she does." But Leonora little knew the cause of her gaiety. Cecilia was never in higher spirits, or better pleased with herself, than when she had resolved upon a sacrifice or a confession.
"Must not this evening be given to the most amiable? Whose, then, will it be?" All eyes glanced first at Cecilia, and then at Leonora. Cecilia smiled; Leonora blushed. "I see that it is not yet decided," said Mrs.
Villars; and immediately they ran upstairs, amidst confused whisperings.
Cecilia"s voice could be distinguished far above the rest. "How can she be so happy!" said Leonora to herself. "O Cecilia, there was a time when you could not have neglected me so! when we were always together the best of friends and companions; our wishes, tastes, and pleasures the same! Surely she did once love me," said Leonora; "but now she is quite changed. She has even sold my keepsake; and she would rather win a bracelet of hair from girls whom she did not always think so much superior to Leonora than have my esteem, my confidence, and my friendship for her whole life--yes, for her whole life, for I am sure she will be an amiable woman. Oh that this bracelet had never been thought of, or that I were certain of her winning it; for I am sure that I do not wish to win it from her. I would rather--a thousand times rather--that we were as we used to be than have all the glory in the world. And how pleasing Cecilia can be when she wishes to please!--how candid she is!--how much she can improve herself! Let me be just, though she has offended me; she is wonderfully improved within this last month.
For one fault, and _that_ against myself, shall I forget all her merits?"
As Leonora said these last words, she could but just hear the voices of her companions. They had left her alone in the gallery. She knocked softly at Louisa"s door. "Come in," said Louisa; "I"m not asleep. Oh,"
said she, starting up with the Flora in her hand, the instant that the door was opened, "I"m so glad you are come, Leonora, for I did so long to hear what you all were making such a noise about. Have you forgot that the bracelet----" "Oh yes! is this the evening?" inquired Leonora.
"Well, here"s my white sh.e.l.l for you," said Louisa. "I"ve kept it in my pocket this fortnight; and though Cecilia did give me this Flora, I still love you a great deal better." "I thank you, Louisa," said Leonora, gratefully. "I will take your sh.e.l.l, and I shall value it as long as I live; but here is a red one, and if you wish to show me that you love me, you will give this to Cecilia. I know that she is particularly anxious for your preference, and I am sure that she deserves it." "Yes, if I could I would choose both of you," said Louisa, "but you know I can only choose which I like the best." "If you mean, my dear Louisa," said Leonora, "that you like me the best, I am very much obliged to you, for, indeed, I wish you to love me; but it is enough for me to know it in private. I should not feel the least more pleasure at hearing it in public, or in having it made known to all my companions, especially at a time when it would give poor Cecilia a great deal of pain." "But why should it give her pain?" asked Louisa; "I don"t like her for being jealous of you." "Nay, Louisa, surely you don"t think Cecilia jealous? She only tries to excel, and to please; she is more anxious to succeed than I am, it is true, because she has a great deal more activity, and perhaps more ambition. And it would really mortify her to lose this prize--you know that she proposed it herself. It has been her object for this month past, and I am sure she has taken great pains to obtain it." "But, dear Leonora, why should you lose it?"
"Indeed, my dear, it would be no loss to me; and, if it were, I would willingly suffer it for Cecilia; for, though we seem not to be such good friends as we used to be, I love her very much, and she will love me again--I"m sure she will; when she no longer fears me as a rival, she will again love me as a friend."
Here Leonora heard a number of her companions running along the gallery.
They all knocked hastily at the door, calling "Leonora! Leonora! will you never come? Cecilia has been with us this half-hour." Leonora smiled. "Well, Louisa," said she, smiling, "will you promise me?" "Oh, I am sure, by the way they speak to you, that they won"t give you the prize!" said the little Louisa, and the tears started into her eyes.
"They love me, though, for all that," said Leonora; "and as for the prize, you know whom I wish to have it."
"Leonora! Leonora!" called her impatient companions; "don"t you hear us?
What are you about?" "Oh, she never will take any trouble about anything," said one of the party; "let"s go away." "Oh, go, go! make haste!" cried Louisa; "don"t stay; they are so angry." "Remember, then, that you have promised me," said Leonora, and she left the room.
During all this time, Cecilia had been in the garden with her companions. The ambition which she had felt to win the first prize--the prize of superior talents and superior application--was not to be compared to the absolute anxiety which she now expressed to win this simple testimony of the love and approbation of her equals and rivals.
To employ her exuberant activity, Cecilia had been dragging branches of lilacs and laburnums, roses and sweet brier, to ornament the bower in which her fate was to be decided. It was excessively hot, but her mind was engaged, and she was indefatigable. She stood still at last to admire her works. Her companions all joined in loud applause. They were not a little prejudiced in her favour by the great eagerness which she expressed to win their prize, and by the great importance which she seemed to affix to the preference of each individual. At last, "Where is Leonora?" cried one of them; and immediately, as we have seen, they ran to call her.
Cecilia was left alone. Overcome with heat and too violent exertion, she had hardly strength to support herself; each moment appeared to her intolerably long. She was in a state of the utmost suspense, and all her courage failed her. Even hope forsook her; and hope is a cordial which leaves the mind depressed and enfeebled.
"The time is now come," said Cecilia; "in a few moments all will be decided. In a few moments--goodness! How much do I hazard? If I should not win the prize, how shall I confess what I have done? How shall I beg Leonora to forgive me? I, who hoped to restore my friendship to her as an honour! They are gone to seek for her. The moment she appears I shall be forgotten. What--what shall I do?" said Cecilia, covering her face with her hands.
Such was Cecilia"s situation when Leonora, accompanied by her companions, opened the hall door. They most of them ran forwards to Cecilia. As Leonora came into the bower, she held out her hand to Cecilia. "We are not rivals, but friends, I hope," said she. Cecilia clasped her hand; but she was in too great agitation to speak.
The table was now set in the arbour--the vase was now placed in the middle. "Well," said Cecilia, eagerly, "who begins?" Caroline, one of her friends, came forward first, and then all the others successively.
Cecilia"s emotion was hardly conceivable. "Now they are all in! Count them, Caroline!"
"One, two, three, four; the numbers are both equal." There was a dead silence. "No, they are not," exclaimed Cecilia, pressing forward, and putting a sh.e.l.l into a vase. "I have not given mine, and I give it to Leonora." Then, s.n.a.t.c.hing the bracelet, "It is yours, Leonora," said she; "take it, and give me back your friendship." The whole a.s.sembly gave one universal clap and a general shout of applause.
"I cannot be surprised at this from you, Cecilia," said Leonora; "and do you then still love me as you used to do?"
"O Leonora, stop! don"t praise me; I don"t deserve this," said she, turning to her loudly-applauding companions. "You will soon despise me.
O Leonora, you will never forgive me! I have deceived you; I have sold----"
At this instant Mrs. Villars appeared. The crowd divided. She had heard all that pa.s.sed, from her window. "I applaud your generosity, Cecilia,"
said she, "but I am to tell you that in this instance it is unsuccessful. You have it not in your power to give the prize to Leonora. It is yours. I have another vote to give to you. You have forgotten Louisa."
"Louisa!" exclaimed Cecilia; "but surely, ma"am, Louisa loves Leonora better than she does me." "She commissioned me, however," said Mrs.
Villars, "to give you a red sh.e.l.l; and you will find it in this box."
Cecilia started, and turned as pale as death; it was the fatal box!
Mrs. Villars produced another box. She opened it; it contained the Flora. "And Louisa also desired me," said she, "to return you this Flora." She put it into Cecilia"s hand. Cecilia trembled so that she could not hold it. Leonora caught it.
"Oh, madam! Oh, Leonora!" exclaimed Cecilia; "now I have no hope left. I intended--I was just going to tell----" "Dear Cecilia," said Leonora, "you need not tell it me; I know it already; and I forgive you with all my heart."