The Patchwork Girl of Oz

Chapter Twenty-Three

Perhaps if the Scarecrow had been a trifle heavier he would have been easier to throw and would have gone a greater distance; but, as it was, instead of going over the fence he landed just on top of it, and one of the sharp pickets caught him in the middle of his back and held him fast prisoner. Had he been face downward the Scarecrow might have managed to free himself, but lying on his back on the picket his hands waved in the air of the Horner Country while his feet kicked the air of the Hopper Country; so there he was.

"Are you hurt?" called the Patchwork Girl anxiously.

"Course not," said Dorothy. "But if he wiggles that way he may tear his clothes. How can we get him down, Mr. Champion?"

The Champion shook his head.

"I don"t know," he confessed. "If he could scare Horners as well as he does crows, it might be a good idea to leave him there."

"This is terrible," said Ojo, almost ready to cry. "I s"pose it"s because I am Ojo the Unlucky that everyone who tries to help me gets into trouble."

"You are lucky to have anyone to help you," declared Dorothy. "But don"t worry. We"ll rescue the Scarecrow somehow."

"I know how," announced Sc.r.a.ps. "Here, Mr. Champion; just throw me up to the Scarecrow. I"m nearly as light as he is, and when I"m on top the fence I"ll pull our friend off the picket and toss him down to you."

"All right," said the Champion, and he picked up the Patchwork Girl and threw her in the same manner he had the Scarecrow. He must have used more strength this time, however, for Sc.r.a.ps sailed far over the top of the fence and, without being able to grab the Scarecrow at all, tumbled to the ground in the Horner Country, where her stuffed body knocked over two men and a woman and made a crowd that had collected there run like rabbits to get away from her.

Seeing the next moment that she was harmless, the people slowly returned and gathered around the Patchwork Girl, regarding her with astonishment. One of them wore a jeweled star in his hair, just above his horn, and this seemed a person of importance. He spoke for the rest of his people, who treated him with great respect.

"Who are you, Unknown Being?" he asked.

"Sc.r.a.ps," she said, rising to her feet and patting her cotton wadding smooth where it had bunched up.

"And where did you come from?" he continued.

"Over the fence. Don"t be silly. There"s no other place I could have come from," she replied.

He looked at her thoughtfully.

"You are not a Hopper," said he, "for you have two legs. They"re not very well shaped, but they are two in number. And that strange creature on top the fence--why doesn"t he stop kicking?--must be your brother, or father, or son, for he also has two legs."

"You must have been to visit the Wise Donkey," said Sc.r.a.ps, laughing so merrily that the crowd smiled with her, in sympathy. "But that reminds me, Captain--or King--"

"I am Chief of the Horners, and my name is Jak."

"Of course; Little Jack Horner; I might have known it. But the reason I volplaned over the fence was so I could have a talk with you about the Hoppers."

"What about the Hoppers?" asked the Chief, frowning.

"You"ve insulted them, and you"d better beg their pardon," said Sc.r.a.ps.

"If you don"t, they"ll probably hop over here and conquer you."

"We"re not afraid--as long as the gate is locked," declared the Chief.

"And we didn"t insult them at all. One of us made a joke that the stupid Hoppers couldn"t see."

The Chief smiled as he said this and the smile made his face look quite jolly.

"What was the joke?" asked Sc.r.a.ps.

"A Horner said they have less understanding than we, because they"ve only one leg. Ha, ha! You see the point, don"t you? If you stand on your legs, and your legs are under you, then--ha, ha, ha!--then your legs are your under-standing. Hee, hee, hee! Ho, ho! My, but that"s a fine joke. And the stupid Hoppers couldn"t see it! They couldn"t see that with only one leg they must have less under-standing than we who have two legs. Ha, ha, ha! Hee, hee! Ho, ho!" The Chief wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes with the bottom hem of his white robe, and all the other Horners wiped their eyes on their robes, for they had laughed just as heartily as their Chief at the absurd joke.

"Then," said Sc.r.a.ps, "their understanding of the understanding you meant led to the misunderstanding."

"Exactly; and so there"s no need for us to apologize," returned the Chief.

"No need for an apology, perhaps, but much need for an explanation,"

said Sc.r.a.ps decidedly. "You don"t want war, do you?"

"Not if we can help it," admitted Jak Horner. "The question is, who"s going to explain the joke to the Horners? You know it spoils any joke to be obliged to explain it, and this is the best joke I ever heard."

"Who made the joke?" asked Sc.r.a.ps.

"Diksey Horner. He is working in the mines, just now, but he"ll be home before long. Suppose we wait and talk with him about it? Maybe he"ll be willing to explain his joke to the Hoppers."

"All right," said Sc.r.a.ps. "I"ll wait, if Diksey isn"t too long."

"No, he"s short; he"s shorter than I am. Ha, ha, ha! Say! that"s a better joke than Diksey"s. He won"t be too long, because he"s short.

Hee, hee, ho!"

The other Horners who were standing by roared with laughter and seemed to like their Chief"s joke as much as he did. Sc.r.a.ps thought it was odd that they could be so easily amused, but decided there could be little harm in people who laughed so merrily.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Peace Is Declared

"Come with me to my dwelling and I"ll introduce you to my daughters,"

said the Chief. "We"re bringing them up according to a book of rules that was written by one of our leading old bachelors, and everyone says they"re a remarkable lot of girls."

So Sc.r.a.ps accompanied him along the street to a house that seemed on the outside exceptionally grimy and dingy. The streets of this city were not paved nor had any attempt been made to beautify the houses or their surroundings, and having noticed this condition Sc.r.a.ps was astonished when the Chief ushered her into his home.

Here was nothing grimy or faded, indeed. On the contrary, the room was of dazzling brilliance and beauty, for it was lined throughout with an exquisite metal that resembled translucent frosted silver. The surface of this metal was highly ornamented in raised designs representing men, animals, flowers and trees, and from the metal itself was radiated the soft light which flooded the room. All the furniture was made of the same glorious metal, and Sc.r.a.ps asked what it was.

"That"s radium," answered the Chief. "We Horners spend all our time digging radium from the mines under this mountain, and we use it to decorate our homes and make them pretty and cosy. It is a medicine, too, and no one can ever be sick who lives near radium."

"Have you plenty of it?" asked the Patchwork Girl.

"More than we can use. All the houses in this city are decorated with it, just the same as mine is."

"Why don"t you use it on your streets, then, and the outside of your houses, to make them as pretty as they are within?" she inquired.

"Outside? Who cares for the outside of anything?" asked the Chief. "We Horners don"t live on the outside of our homes; we live inside. Many people are like those stupid Hoppers, who love to make an outside show.

I suppose you strangers thought their city more beautiful than ours, because you judged from appearances and they have handsome marble houses and marble streets; but if you entered one of their stiff dwellings you would find it bare and uncomfortable, as all their show is on the outside. They have an idea that what is not seen by others is not important, but with us the rooms we live in are our chief delight and care, and we pay no attention to outside show."

"Seems to me," said Sc.r.a.ps, musingly, "it would be better to make it all pretty--inside and out."

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