"No, Moses, she does believe. She has given up all hope of life,--all wish to live; and oh, she is so lovely,--so sweet,--so dear."
Sally covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Moses stood still, looking at her a moment in a confused way, and then he answered,--
"Come, get your bonnet, Sally, and go with me. You must go in and tell them; tell her that I am come, you know."
"Yes, I will," said Sally, as she ran quickly back to the house.
Moses stood listlessly looking after her. A moment after she came out of the door again, and Miss Roxy behind. Sally hurried up to Moses.
"Where"s that black old raven going?" said Moses, in a low voice, looking back on Miss Roxy, who stood on the steps.
"What, Aunt Roxy?" said Sally; "why, she"s going up to nurse Mara, and take care of her. Mrs. Pennel is so old and infirm she needs somebody to depend on."
"I can"t bear her," said Moses. "I always think of sick-rooms and coffins and a stifling smell of camphor when I see her. I never could endure her. She"s an old harpy going to carry off my dove."
"Now, Moses, you must _not_ talk so. She loves Mara dearly, the poor old soul, and Mara loves her, and there is no earthly thing she would not do for her. And she knows what to do for sickness better than you or I. I have found out one thing, that it isn"t mere love and good-will that is needed in a sick-room; it needs knowledge and experience."
Moses a.s.sented in gloomy silence, and they walked on together the way that they had so often taken laughing and chatting. When they came within sight of the house, Moses said,--
"Here she came running to meet us; do you remember?"
"Yes," said Sally.
"I was never half worthy of her. I never said half what I ought to," he added. "She _must_ live! I must have one more chance."
When they came up to the house, Zephaniah Pennel was sitting in the door, with his gray head bent over the leaves of the great family Bible.
He rose up at their coming, and with that suppression of all external signs of feeling for which the New Englander is remarkable, simply shook the hand of Moses, saying,--
"Well, my boy, we are glad you have come."
Mrs. Pennel, who was busied in some domestic work in the back part of the kitchen, turned away and hid her face in her ap.r.o.n when she saw him.
There fell a great silence among them, in the midst of which the old clock ticked loudly and importunately, like the inevitable approach of fate.
"I will go up and see her, and get her ready," said Sally, in a whisper to Moses. "I"ll come and call you."
Moses sat down and looked around on the old familiar scene; there was the great fireplace where, in their childish days, they had sat together winter nights,--her fair, spiritual face enlivened by the blaze, while she knit and looked thoughtfully into the coals; there she had played checkers, or fox and geese, with him; or studied with him the Latin lessons; or sat by, grave and thoughtful, hemming his toyship sails, while he cut the moulds for his anchors, or tried experiments on pulleys; and in all these years he could not remember one selfish action,--one unlovely word,--and he thought to himself, "I hoped to possess this angel as a mortal wife! G.o.d forgive my presumption."
CHAPTER XL
THE MEETING
Sally found Mara sitting in an easy-chair that had been sent to her by the provident love of Miss Emily. It was wheeled in front of her room window, from whence she could look out upon the wide expanse of the ocean. It was a gloriously bright, calm morning, and the water lay clear and still, with scarce a ripple, to the far distant pearly horizon. She seemed to be looking at it in a kind of calm ecstasy, and murmuring the words of a hymn:--
"Nor wreck nor ruin there is seen, There not a wave of trouble rolls, But the bright rainbow round the throne Peals endless peace to all their souls."
Sally came softly behind her on tiptoe to kiss her. "Good-morning, dear, how do you find yourself?"
"Quite well," was the answer.
"Mara, is not there anything you want?"
"There might be many things; but His will is mine."
"You want to see Moses?"
"Very much; but I shall see him as soon as it is best for us both."
"Mara,--he is come."
The quick blood flushed over the pale, transparent face as a virgin glacier flushes at sunrise, and she looked up eagerly. "Come!"
"Yes, he is below-stairs wanting to see you."
She seemed about to speak eagerly, and then checked herself and mused a moment. "Poor, poor boy!" she said. "Yes, Sally, let him come at once."
There were a few dazzling, dreamy minutes when Moses first held that frail form in his arms, which but for its tender, mortal warmth, might have seemed to him a spirit. It was no spirit, but a woman whose heart he could feel thrilling against his own; who seemed to him like some frail, fluttering bird; but somehow, as he looked into her clear, transparent face, and pressed her thin little hands in his, the conviction stole over him overpoweringly that she was indeed fading away and going from him,--drawn from him by that mysterious, irresistible power against which human strength, even in the strongest, has no chance.
It is dreadful to a strong man who has felt the influence of his strength,--who has always been ready with a resource for every emergency, and a weapon for every battle,--when first he meets that mighty invisible power by which a beloved life--a life he would give his own blood to save--melts and dissolves like smoke before his eyes.
"Oh, Mara, Mara," he groaned, "this is too dreadful, too cruel; it is cruel."
"You will think so at first, but not always," she said, soothingly. "You will live to see a joy come out of this sorrow."
"Never, Mara, never. I cannot believe that kind of talk. I see no love, no mercy in it. Of course, if there is any life after death you will be happy; if there is a heaven you will be there; but can this dim, unsubstantial, cloudy prospect make you happy in leaving me and giving up one"s lover? Oh, Mara, you cannot love as I do, or you could not"--
"Moses, I have suffered,--oh, very, very much. It was many months ago when I first thought that I must give everything up,--when I thought that we must part; but Christ helped me; he showed me his wonderful love,--the love that surrounds us all our life, that follows us in all our wanderings, and sustains us in all our weaknesses,--and then I felt that whatever He wills for us is in love; oh, believe it,--believe it for my sake, for your own."
"Oh, I cannot, I cannot," said Moses; but as he looked at the bright, pale face, and felt how the tempest of his feelings shook the frail form, he checked himself. "I do wrong to agitate you so, Mara. I will try to be calm."
"And to pray?" she said, beseechingly.
He shut his lips in gloomy silence.
"Promise me," she said.
"I have prayed ever since I got your first letter, and I see it does no good," he answered. "Our prayers cannot alter fate."
"Fate! there is no fate," she answered; "there is a strong and loving Father who guides the way, though we know it not. We cannot resist His will; but it is all love,--pure, pure love."
At this moment Sally came softly into the room. A gentle air of womanly authority seemed to express itself in that once gay and giddy face, at which Moses, in the midst of his misery, marveled.
"You must not stay any longer now," she said; "it would be too much for her strength; this is enough for this morning."
Moses turned away, and silently left the room, and Sally said to Mara,--