"Oh!" said June chagrined. "And then, of course, you"ll be married and live happily ever after...."
"Yes," said Esther. "I hope so."
June opened her eyes.
Charlie, curled up on his cushion, started to purr lazily. Presently June flopped down on her knees beside him and began stroking his head.
"You"ll let me have Charlie when you"re married, won"t you?" she said suddenly. "I am sure the phantom lover won"t want him."
Esther did not answer; she hated herself for remembering that Raymond had once said he loathed cats.
"I told you how Micky went into a pond after a drowning kitten, didn"t I?" June asked reminiscently. "I should have loved him for that alone, if for nothing else...."
Esther made no comment. She moved a little, and the letter slipped from her lap to the floor.
June picked it up.
"Or is it sacrilege to touch it?" she asked teasingly. She laid it on Esther"s lap.
"Well, I couldn"t help seeing the writing," she said, after a moment. "And, do you know, it"s awfully like Micky"s! If I hadn"t known it wasn"t his I should have declared it was," she said rather disconnectedly.
Esther grabbed the letter up.
"Well, it isn"t his, anyway," she said sharply.
June laughed.
CHAPTER XVIII
Esther wrote to Mrs. Ashton that same night and told her she must regretfully decline the offered position; she gave no reason, but she permitted herself a little sigh of regret when the letter was dispatched.
She would like to have gone; she would like to have seen Raymond"s home and to have got to know his mother, but it was his wish that she should not go.
She tried to believe that she was happy in the knowledge of his love, but in her heart she knew that she was restless and dissatisfied.
"If I had something to do I should be ever so much happier," she told June again and again, and June quite agreed.
"It must be awful, killing time," she said. "When I think of the life I used to lead at home before I started trying to improve people"s complexions, I wonder I didn"t go mad. Nothing but silly tea-parties and scandal.... Ugh! But all the same Micky and I agreed that you wouldn"t like being at Mrs. Ashton"s."
"Micky!" said Esther scornfully. "As if I care what he thinks...."
June looked mildly amazed.
"Oh, all right," she said smoothly. "I suppose I may mention his name sometimes, mayn"t I?" She began to laugh. "Do you know that for once in my life I"ve been totally wrong with regard to you two? I was so sure you"d more than like each other--I even thought it quite possible that Micky might fall in love with you--you"re so exactly suited to him."
"I"m glad you think so," said Esther drily. "I"m sorry I can"t oblige you by agreeing."
June said "Humph!" She yawned. "All the same," she added after a moment, "I"m convinced that things would have been different if it hadn"t been for that phantom lover of yours; you"re so crazy about him." There was a touch of exasperation in her voice.
Esther flushed angrily.
"It"s absurd of you to talk like this," she said. "Mr. Mellowes is the last man on earth I should ever have looked at, even supposing Raymond...." She had spoken the name before she was aware of it; in her momentary flash of temper the secret she had so carefully guarded escaped her.
It was too late to attempt to cover what she had said; she knew by the sudden expression of June"s face that she had heard.
There was a poignant silence, then June sat up with a little jerk.
"Of course, that"s let the cat out of the bag," she said curtly. "And you let me run him down! How mean, how unutterably mean of you, Esther!... I can"t think now why I never guessed! Raymond Ashton!"
Esther had flushed scarlet.
"I never said that was his name," she tried to defend herself. "It"s purely your imagination. And even supposing it is, do you think I mind what you say about him, or Mr. Mellowes either? Neither of you know him as I do, or you would never say such cruel, wicked things." She stopped with a sob in her voice.
"Then it is Raymond Ashton?" June said gently. She got up and came over to where Esther was sitting. "Oh, I am sorry I said anything about him!" she cried impulsively. "You ought to have stopped me. How on earth was I to know?"
"I don"t care what you said; it"s all untrue," Esther protested stormily. "Nothing you could ever say about him would influence me or make me feel any differently."
June got up for a cigarette; when she was nonplussed she invariably had to smoke; she took several agitated puffs before she looked at her friend again.
"Well, anything I said was in absolute innocence, you know that," she said in distress. "I"d no more idea than the dead that you and he....
So that"s why he doesn"t want you to go to his mother?"
"He doesn"t know; I never told him it was to Mrs. Ashton"s--I just said I had had an offer of a berth. I suppose you are trying to make out now that he----"
"Heaven bless the child!" June cried. "I"m not trying to make out anything! I"m struck all of a heap like! as Lydia says. So he"s the phantom lover, is he?... Well--I can"t find any words to suit the case."
"He"s not a phantom lover," Esther protested. "He"s a real lover, a very real lover."
June stopped and took her hand.
"I"m not going to let you quarrel with me over him, no matter how badly you want to," she said. "No man is worth two friends having a row over. I"m quite prepared to take him to my arms and love him if you do.... Oh, Esther, don"t look like that!"
There were tears in Esther"s eyes, and her lips were trembling.
"You"re making fun of me," she protested. "It"s unkind of you."
June turned away; she wondered if perhaps, after all, she and every one else had thoroughly misunderstood Raymond, and if this girl"s warm championing of him was deserved.
"He"s not nearly good enough for her," she was telling herself indignantly. "She"ll never really be happy with him."
"I hope you won"t tell Mr. Mellowes, or any one else," Esther was saying defiantly. "I don"t want my affairs talked over by every one."
"I shall not tell any one," June said quietly.
She stood looking down into the fire, and her face was troubled.