Several pessimistic souls who had already made up their minds to be ill, although the sea was like a mill-pond, had arranged themselves on the couches, with pillows under their heads; as Micky pa.s.sed the cabin some one slammed the door smartly in his face.
He went upon deck again and stood looking out to sea, with the wind stinging his face.
It was getting dark rapidly; the lights of Dover twinkled through the greyness. Micky stood and watched till they could no longer be seen.
He was chilled to the bone in spite of his warm coat; he turned the collar up round his throat and thrust his hands deeply into his pockets.
His fingers came in contact with the telegrams he had written in the train and forgotten to send. He swore under his breath.
He kept out of the Delands" way when they reached Calais; he was first off the boat; he stood in the darkness trembling with excitement.
There were all sorts of people pouring past him--men, women, and children. They all seemed happy and eager--a couple of Frenchmen standing near him chattered incessantly; Micky moistened his dry lips; there was a little nerve throbbing in his temple.
Supposing he never saw her again! His hands clenched deep in his pockets ... supposing he never met the half-shy glance of her grey eyes--supposing he never heard her voice any more--or her laugh....
The sweat broke out on his forehead. For a moment he closed his eyes with a sick feeling of hopelessness, and when he opened them again he saw Esther standing there not half a dozen paces from him.
The glare from a huge arc lamp shone full on her slim figure and golden hair.
She was looking round her in a scared, apprehensive way as if not knowing where to go.
A wave of such utter relief swept through Micky"s very soul that for a moment it almost turned him faint.
She was quite alone, but as Micky watched her he saw a French porter in a blue blouse go up to her and start chattering away, pointing to the small suit-case she carried and gesticulating violently. Esther shook her head--Micky remembered that she knew no French--but the man persisted, and she shook her head again in a frightened sort of way.
Micky covered the distance between them in a couple of strides.
"Esther...." he said, in a queer, choked sort of voice.
She turned with a stifled scream, and a most unwilling relief swept her face.
"Oh, Micky!" she said breathlessly. She put out her hand as if to grip his arm, then drew it away, moving back.
"How did you come here ... oh, how dare you follow me...?" she said pa.s.sionately.
Micky took her arm very gently.
"We found your note," he said. "I had to come ... June said...." Then suddenly his calmness broke "Oh, thank G.o.d I found you--thank G.o.d!" he said hoa.r.s.ely.
CHAPTER XXVIII
Esther seemed arrested by the emotion in Micky"s voice.
She stood looking up at him with wide eyes and parted lips, then suddenly she broke out again--
"I don"t know what you mean. I"ll never forgive June if she sent you after me. I"m going to Paris. I"m not a child to be followed and looked after like this.... Let me go."
Micky released her arm at once. When he spoke his voice was quiet and rather stern.
"Please don"t make a scene. I have followed you for your own sake. I know I can"t stop you from going to Paris. I"m not going to try. All I do ask you is that you will let me speak to you. If what I have to say is useless, I give you my word of honour that I will leave you here and let you go on to Paris alone."
She looked at him with stormy eyes.
"I don"t believe it--it isn"t the first time you"ve lied to me...."
she broke off breathlessly. Micky turned pale, but he answered evenly enough--
"You"re quite justified in saying that; I"m not going to try and deny it. But we can"t stand here all night--people are beginning to stare at us...."
"I don"t care----" but she dropped her voice a little, and when Micky made a slight movement forward she followed.
It was cold on the quay--there was a fresh wind blowing, and Esther shivered.
"There"s a restaurant place here," Micky said. "I want a meal if you don"t; I haven"t had anything since breakfast."
He found a table and ordered a meal, but he knew he should not be able to eat a thing.
"I don"t want anything to eat," Esther said. She sat sideways in her chair away from the table; there was a pitiable look of strain in her face; she still gripped her suit-case tightly. When Micky asked her to be allowed to put it down for her she turned on him almost fiercely.
"Leave me alone--oh, leave me alone!"
The French garcon eyed them both interestedly. Any one far less keen of perception than he was could have seen that there was tragedy of some kind between this pretty, frail-looking girl and the tall man in the big coat.
"You said you were hungry, but you"re not eating anything," Esther broke out irritably. "How much longer are you going to make me sit here? I want to catch a train to Paris to-night."
"There are no trains, except slow ones," Micky told her; "the express has gone half an hour ago. I can find you rooms in a hotel close by for the night...." His eyes met hers across the table, and he broke out, "Esther, for G.o.d"s sake let me explain things to you. You"ve all your life before you; to-morrow, if you wish it, I"ll go away and never see you again. But I can"t let you go now without telling you the truth. I ought to have told you before--it was for your own sake I tried to keep it back...."
Her grey eyes searched his face disbelievingly.
"If you"ve anything to say against Mr. Ashton," she said, "I refuse to listen. I shouldn"t believe anything you say, for one thing. Why, you don"t even know his name--unless June has told you," she added breathlessly.
"June has told me nothing, but I know, all the same. I knew the first night I ever met you--when I left you and went back to my rooms, he was there waiting for me...."
She half turned, leaning across the table, and her eyes were like fire.
"He was there--who was there?" she asked shrilly.
"Ashton--Raymond Ashton," Micky answered.
There was a tragic silence, then Esther rose to her feet; she stood looking dazedly round her in a helpless sort of way.
Micky called for the bill--without waiting for his change he followed Esther out into the darkness. She offered no resistance when he drew her hand through his arm. He did not know what on earth to do with her; if he took her to an hotel it would mean leaving her, and she would probably go away in the night. They went back to the station, and Micky found a waiting-room with a roaring fire; he dragged one of the uncomfortable wooden benches close to it and made Esther sit down; he closed the door and came back to her.
There was so much he wanted to say, and for the life of him he did not know how to begin. She sat there so silently; she seemed to have forgotten his presence altogether.
Micky looked at her, and suddenly he broke out--