I was surprised by this sudden act.I simply looked at her without saying anything, trying to understand her. Her expression was angry. Tears were forming under her eyes.
*slap*
She slapped me once more. It was so sudden that I couldn"t even react to it. Perhaps since we were the only living beings around here, "the community" had started trying to manipulate us, and turn us against each other once again. Unfortunately, there was nowhere we could run to, so we had to stand it only by our own mental power.
I held her arm tightly. She tried to get her arm out of my grip, but her attempt wasn"t successful.
"Why?" I asked her.
"That one was for Melis." she replied.
"I didn"t do anything to her." I said.
"Exactly." she said. "Why didn"t you do anything? WHY DIDN"T YOU EVEN TRY TO SAVE HER!?"
So that was the problem. It was normal for her to be nervous, but I was sure that she couldn"t understand the hopeless situation I was in when I was cornered on the roof.
"You are heartless and miserable!" she continued.
It was unusual to hear such insults from her. At that point, there was no doubt we were under the effect of "the community". Our mental health was in an unstable condition, and anything we did could provoke the other. Being too aggressive could easily create hostility between us. I had to let her know without getting everything out of hand.
"Why now?" I asked her.
"Why... what do you mean?" she said, keeping her angry expression.
"Why did you get angry all of a sudden, JUST now?" I said.
She thought about it for a short time.
"Because we were still in danger, so this is why I could say that to you just now." she replied.
"We won"t accomplish anything by mourning for our losses and being aggressive towards each other." I said.
"We won"t accomplish anything by sacrificing someone every single time when we face the dangers!" she yelled. "Onur, Melis, even Mr. Kenan... We"ve lost so many people because we don"t know how to be brave and face the threats!"
I"ve never seen her so furious before. But, even though she was saying all of this in a moment of nervous breakdown, she did have a point. I"ve thought about it for a while without saying anything.
Although she wasn"t wrong, the reality from my point of view was a little different than her"s.
"What are we going to do when we face a power we can"t win against? Will we only listen to our heart and emotions, then just stand in front of it waiting to die together; or will we pay attention to logic and rational thought and run away until we regain strenght for the next round?" I said.
She turned and looked into my face without anything. It was her turn to think about what I said.
"We"ve already lost the struggle when we failed to evacuate the building in time. This was our only plan to save everyone, yet... Even our safest plans didn"t work." I said.
"That"s too... pessimistic." she said. "There must be a chance. We"ve almost escaped this cursed place once before, I"m sure we can do that again. It, just... It would be better if everyone got to see that moment..."
"I wished..." I said.
"We stand united for the time being... How long will it last?" she asked. "How long can it? We are just two people now, we are weak once again... Maybe it"s our destiny to suffer this all."
"I couldn"t tell you, but I think we are already being affected by "the community"." I told her. "I didn"t want to tell this right in the middle of the moments of recent tension. I know how hard it is, we are going through the same thing... But we need to control our emotions."
"If we do that... will we be strong? Will we survive?" she asked. She had started to act like a little child now.
"I can"t tell that, you know... But we still have a reason to fight." I told her.
"Oh, do we?" she said. "Maybe we were already defeated, like you said, and we are just playing back an endless loop of suffering over and over again. Maybe... maybe our hope for escape is just a nonsense that keeps us running around places to entertain those evil b.a.s.t.a.r.ds."
"This! This mindset is exactly what I"m talking about, you are giving up your control to them!" I shouted at her. "Fight it, you know you are better than this!"
"I am tired of it all... After this point, it doesn"t matter if there is an escape or not anymore." she said.
"You are stronger than you think!" I shouted at her. She didn"t say anything in return, and she started looking directly ahead with a blank expression.
After a moment of silence, she slowly turned her head to me with robotic movements. I could understand that she was not powerful enough. To prevent any harm to her and myself, I quickly held her, and slowly laid her down on the ground. I held her arms tightly near her body as she looked up to the ceiling with little signs of being alive.
"Let her be!" I yelled into the empty hallway.
Maybe she was right. Maybe that was it! She was losing her mind, and I was left by myself for the rest of the struggle, which would probably end up entertaining the evil spirits until I die in misery...
"No!" I started speaking to myself. The community was trying to manipulate me as well. Idil and I both had a war going on in our minds.
I held Idil"s hand and gently squeezed it.
"Stay strong." I whispered. Both of us were powerless, but we had no one to help us. We had nothing left to sacrifice. There was nowhere we could run. We were all by ourselves. If one of us had lost the fight, then both of us would.
While this silent war was taking place, I heard something from the far end of the hallway.