SATAN"S REMONSTRANCE[175]
[Occasioned by Mr. Rivington"s Late Apology for _Lying_]
Your golden dreams, your flattering schemes, Alas! where are they fled, Sir?
Your plans derang"d, your prospects chang"d, You now may go to bed, Sir.--
How could you thus, my partner dear, Give up the hopes of many a year?-- Your fame retriev"d, and soaring high, In Truth"s resemblance seem"d to fly; But now you grow so wondrous wise, You turn, and own that all is lies.
A fabric that from h.e.l.l we rais"d, On which astonish"d rebels gaz"d, And which the world shall ne"er forget, No less than Rivington"s Gazette, Demolish"d at a single stroke-- The angel Gabriel might provoke.
"That all was lies," might well be true, But why must this be told by you?
Great master of the wooden head, Where is thy wonted cunning fled?
It was a folly to engage That truth henceforth should fill your page, When you must know, as well as I, Your only mission is to lie.
Such are the plans which folly draws-- We now, like bears, may suck our paws;-- Brought up in lying from your youth, You should have dy"d a foe to truth, Since none but fools in this accord, That Virtue is its own reward.[176]
Your fortune was as good as made, Great artist in the lying trade!
But now I see with grief and pain Your credit cannot rise again: No more the favourite of my heart, No more will I my gifts impart.
Yet something shall you gain at last For lies contriv"d in seasons past-- When pressing to the narrow gate I"ll show the portal mark"d by Fate, Where all mankind (as parsons say) Are apt to take the wider way, And, though the Royal Printer swear, Will bolt him in, and keep him there!
[175] First published in the _Freeman"s Journal_, August 7, 1782, with the note, "See the _Royal Gazette_ of the 10th ult. and our last." The article in the _Royal Gazette_ is as follows:
"_To the Public:_
"The Publisher of this paper, sensible that his zeal for the success of his Majesty"s arms, his sanguine wishes for the good of his country and his friendship for individuals, have at times led him to credit and circulate paragraphs without investigating the facts so closely as his duty to the public demanded, trusting to their feelings and depending on their generosity, he begs them to look over past errors and depend on future correctness, for henceforth he will neither desire nor expect nor solicit their favors longer than his endeavors shall stamp the same degree of authenticity and credit on the _Royal Gazette_ (of N. Y.) as all Europe allow to the _Royal Gazette_ of London."
The _Freeman"s Journal_ reprinted this on July 31, with the comment: "From hence it is to be presumed that Satan, Rivington & Co. have thoughts of breaking up partnership." The text follows the edition of 1786.
[176] This stanza, printed in the edition of 1786, was omitted from the later editions.
THE REFUGEES" PEt.i.tION TO SIR GUY CARLETON[177]
_Humbly Sheweth--_
That your Honour"s pet.i.tioners,[178] Tories by trade, From the first of the war have lent Britain their aid, And done all they could, both in country and town, In support of the king and the rights of his crown; But now, to their grief and confusion, they find "The de"il may take them who are farthest behind."
In the rear of all rascals they still have been placed And Rebels and Frenchmen[179] full often have faced, Have been in the midst of distresses and doubt Whene"er they came in or whene"er they went out; Have supported the king and defended his church And now, in the end, must be left in the lurch.
Though often, too often, his arms were disgraced, We still were in hopes he would conquer at last, And restore us again to our sweethearts and wives The pride of our hearts and the joy of our lives-- But he promised too far, and we trusted too much, And who could have looked for a war with the Dutch?
Our board broken up, and discharged from our stations, Sir Guy! it is cruel to cut off our rations; Of a project like that, whoe"er was the mover, It is, we must tell you, a h.e.l.lish manoeuvre, A plan to destroy us--the basest of tricks By means of starvation, a stigma to fix.[180]
If a peace be intended, as people surmise, (Though we hope from our souls these are nothing but lies) Inform us at once what we have to expect, Nor treat us, as usual, with surly neglect; Or else, while you Britons are shipping your freights[181]
We"ll go to the Rebels, and get our estates.
[177] First published in the _Freeman"s Journal_, August 28, 1782. Sir Guy Carleton"s generous and humane nature was in marked contrast with the cruelty of his predecessors. Text is from the edition of 1809.
[178] The anxiety of the Tories during the closing months of the war was exceedingly great. Sir Guy Carleton, the commander-in-chief, was, during all his stay in America, delayed with pet.i.tions, complaints, and remonstrances.
[179] "Halters and gibbets."--_Ed. 1786._
[180] "To get us away to the shallows of Styx."--_Ed. 1786._
[181] "By the ma.s.s and the will of the fates."--_Ib._
SIR GUY"S ANSWER
We have reason to think there will soon be a peace, And that war with the Rebels will certainly cease; But, be that as it will, I would have you to know That as matters are changing, we soon may change too; In short, I would say, (since I have it at heart) Though the war should continue, yet we may depart.
Four offers in season I therefore propose, (As much as I can do in reason, G.o.d knows) In which, though there be not too plentiful carving, There still is sufficient to keep you from starving.
And, first of the first, it would mightily charm me To see you, my children, enlist in the army, Or enter the navy, and get for your pay, A farthing an hour, which is sixpence per day-- There"s Hector Clackmanan, and Arthur O"Gregor And Donald M"Donald shall rule you with vigour:
If these do not suit you, then take your new plan, Make your peace with the rebels, (march off to a man):[182]
There rank and distinction perhaps you may find And rise into offices fit to your mind-- But if still you object--I advise you to take a Farewell to New-York--and away to Jamaica.[183]
[182] "That is, if you can."--_Ed. 1786._
[183]
"But if still you object--to be all on a level, _Burn up your red coats and go off to the Devil_."
--_Ib._
TO A CONCEALED ROYALIST[184]
On a Virulent Attack
"_We have force to crumble you into dust, although you were as hard as rocks, adamant, or jasper._"
KIEN-LHI, _alias_ JOHN TUCK, _Viceroy of Canton_.[185]