From bill to bill the flattery ran: He hears and bears it like a man: For, when we flatter self-conceit, We but his sentiments repeat.
If we"re too scrupulously just, What profit"s in a place of trust?
The common practice of the great, Is to secure a snug retreat.
_90 So pug began to turn his brain (Like other folks in place) on gain.
An apple-woman"s stall was near, Well stocked with fruits through all the year; Here every day he crammed his guts, Hence were his h.o.a.rds of pears and nuts; For "twas agreed (in way of trade) His payments should in corn be made.
The stock of grain was quickly spent, And no account which way it went.
_100 Then, too, the poultry"s starved condition Caused speculations of suspicion.
The facts were proved beyond dispute; Pug must refund his h.o.a.rds of fruit: And, though then minister in chief, Was branded as a public thief.
Disgraced, despised, confined to chains, He nothing but his pride retains.
A goose pa.s.sed by; he knew the face, Seen every levee while in place.
_110 "What, no respect! no reverence shown?
How saucy are these creatures grown!
Not two days since," says he, "you bowed The lowest of my fawning crowd."
"Proud fool," replies the goose,""tis true, Thy corn a fluttering levee drew!
For that I joined the hungry train, And sold thee flattery for thy grain.
But then, as now, conceited ape, We saw thee in thy proper shape."
_120
FABLE IV.
THE ANT IN OFFICE.
TO A FRIEND.
You tell me, that you apprehend My verse may touchy folks offend.
In prudence too you think my rhymes Should never squint at courtiers" crimes: For though nor this, nor that is meant, Can we another"s thoughts prevent?
You ask me if I ever knew Court chaplains thus the lawn pursue.
I meddle not with gown or lawn; Poets, I grant, to rise must fawn.
_10 They know great ears are over-nice, And never shock their patron"s vice.
But I this hackney path despise; "Tis my ambition not to rise.
If I must prost.i.tute the Muse, The base conditions I refuse.
I neither flatter nor defame, Yet own I would bring guilt to shame.
If I corruption"s hand expose, I make corrupted men my foes.
_20 What then? I hate the paltry tribe; Be virtue mine; be theirs the bribe.
I no man"s property invade; Corruption"s yet no lawful trade.
Nor would it mighty ills produce, Could I shame bribery out of use, I know "twould cramp most politicians, Were they tied down to these conditions.
"Twould stint their power, their riches bound, And make their parts seem less profound.
_30 Were they denied their proper tools, How could they lead their knaves and fools?
Were this the case, let"s take a view, What dreadful mischiefs would ensue; Though it might aggrandise the state, Could private luxury dine on plate?
Kings might indeed their friends reward, But ministers find less regard.
Informers, sycophants, and spies, Would not augment the year"s supplies.
_40 Perhaps, too, take away this prop, An annual job or two might drop.
Besides, if pensions were denied, Could avarice support its pride?
It might even ministers confound, And yet the state be safe and sound.
I care not though "tis understood I only mean my country"s good: And (let who will my freedom blame) I wish all courtiers did the same.
_50 Nay, though some folks the less might get, I wish the nation out of debt.
I put no private man"s ambition With public good in compet.i.tion: Rather than have our law defaced, I"d vote a minister disgraced.
I strike at vice, be"t where it will; And what if great folks take it ill?
I hope corruption, bribery, pension, One may with detestation mention: _60 Think you the law (let who will take it) Can _scandalum magnatum_ make it?
I vent no slander, owe no grudge, Nor of another"s conscience judge: At him, or him, I take no aim, Yet dare against all vice declaim.
Shall I not censure breach of trust, Because knaves know themselves unjust?
That steward, whose account is clear, Demands his honour may appear: _70 His actions never shun the light, He is, and would be proved upright.
But then you think my fable bears Allusion, too, to state affairs.
I grant it does: and who"s so great, That has the privilege to cheat?
If, then, in any future reign (For ministers may thirst for gain;) Corrupted hands defraud the nation, I bar no reader"s application.
_80 An ant there was, whose forward prate Controlled all matters in debate; Whether he knew the thing or no, His tongue eternally would go.
For he had impudence at will, And boasted universal skill.
Ambition was his point in view; Thus, by degrees, to power he grew.
Behold him now his drift attain: He"s made chief treasurer of the grain.
_90 But as their ancient laws are just, And punish breach of public trust, "Tis ordered (lest wrong application Should starve that wise industrious nation) That all accounts be stated clear, Their stock, and what defrayed the year: That auditors should these inspect, 97 And public rapine thus be checked.
For this the solemn day was set, The auditors in council met.
_100 The granary-keeper must explain, And balance his account of grain.
He brought (since he could not refuse "em) Some sc.r.a.ps of paper to amuse "em.
An honest pismire, warm with zeal, In justice to the public weal, Thus spoke: "The nation"s h.o.a.rd is low, From whence doth this profusion flow?
I know our annual funds" amount.
Why such expense, and where"s the account?"
_110 With wonted arrogance and pride, The ant in office thus replied: "Consider, sirs, were secrets told, How could the best-schemed projects hold?
Should we state-mysteries disclose, "Twould lay us open to our foes.
My duty and my well-known zeal Bid me our present schemes conceal.
But on my honour, all the expense (Though vast) was for the swarm"s defence.
_120 They pa.s.sed the account as fair and just, And voted him implicit trust.
Next year again the granary drained, He thus his innocence maintained: "Think how our present matters stand, What dangers threat from every hand; What hosts of turkeys stroll for food, No farmer"s wife but hath her brood.
Consider, when invasion"s near, Intelligence must cost us dear; _130 And, in this ticklish situation, A secret told betrays the nation.
But, on my honour, all the expense (Though vast) was for the swarm"s defence."
Again, without examination, They thanked his sage administration.
The year revolves. The treasure spent, Again in secret service went.
His honour too again was pledged, To satisfy the charge alleged.
_140 When thus, with panic shame possessed, An auditor his friends addressed: "What are we? Ministerial tools.
We little knaves are greater fools.
At last this secret is explored; "Tis our corruption thins the h.o.a.rd.
For every grain we touched, at least A thousand his own heaps increased.
Then for his kin, and favourite spies, A hundred hardly could suffice.
_150 Thus, for a paltry sneaking bribe, We cheat ourselves, and all the tribe; For all the magazine contains, Grows from our annual toil and pains."
They vote the account shall be inspected; The cunning plunderer is detected; The fraud is sentenced; and his h.o.a.rd, As due, to public use restored.
FABLE V.
THE BEAR IN A BOAT.
TO A c.o.xCOMB.
That man must daily wiser grow, Whose search is bent himself to know; Impartially he weighs his scope, And on firm reason founds his hope; He tries his strength before the race, And never seeks his own disgrace; He knows the compa.s.s, sail, and oar, Or never launches from the sh.o.r.e; Before he builds, computes the cost; And in no proud pursuit is lost: _10 He learns the bounds of human sense, And safely walks within the fence.
Thus, conscious of his own defect, Are pride and self-importance check"d.
If then, self-knowledge to pursue, Direct our life in every view, Of all the fools that pride can boast, A c.o.xcomb claims distinction most.