"To sending the money; wait a bit," Shatov interrupted, hurriedly pulling out a drawer in the table and taking from under some papers a rainbow-coloured note. "Here, take it, the hundred roubles you sent me; but for you I should have perished out there. I should have been a long time paying it back if it had not been for your mother. She made me a present of that note nine months ago, because I was so badly off after my illness. But, go on, please...."
He was breathless.
"In America you changed your views, and when you came back you wanted to resign. They gave you no answer, but charged you to take over a printing press here in Russia from some one, and to keep it till you handed it over to some one who would come from them for it. I don"t know the details exactly, but I fancy that"s the position in outline. You undertook it in the hope, or on the condition, that it would be the last task they would require of you, and that then they would release you altogether. Whether that is so or not, I learnt it, not from them, but quite by chance. But now for what I fancy you don"t know; these gentry have no intention of parting with you."
"That"s absurd!" cried Shatov. "I"ve told them honestly that I"ve cut myself off from them in everything. That is my right, the right to freedom of conscience and of thought.... I won"t put up with it! There"s no power which could..."
"I say, don"t shout," Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch said earnestly, checking him. "That Verhovensky is such a fellow that he may be listening to us now in your pa.s.sage, perhaps, with his own ears or some one else"s. Even that drunkard, Lebyadkin, was probably bound to keep an eye on you, and you on him, too, I dare say? You"d better tell me, has Verhovensky accepted your arguments now, or not?"
"He has. He has said that it can be done and that I have the right... ."
"Well then, he"s deceiving you. I know that even Kirillov, who scarcely belongs to them at all, has given them information about you. And they have lots of agents, even people who don"t know that they"re serving the society. They"ve always kept a watch on you. One of the things Pyotr Verhovensky came here for was to settle your business once for all, and he is fully authorised to do so, that is at the first good opportunity, to get rid of you, as a man who knows too much and might give them away. I repeat that this is certain, and allow me to add that they are, for some reason, convinced that you are a spy, and that if you haven"t informed against them yet, you will. Is that true?"
Shatov made a wry face at hearing such a question asked in such a matter-of fact tone.
"If I were a spy, whom could I inform?" he said angrily, not giving a direct answer. "No, leave me alone, let me go to the devil!" he cried suddenly, catching again at his original idea, which agitated him violently. Apparently it affected him more deeply than the news of his own danger. "You, you, Stavrogin, how could you mix yourself up with such shameful, stupid, second-hand absurdity? You a member of the society? What an exploit for Stavrogin!" he cried suddenly, in despair.
He clasped his hands, as though nothing could be a bitterer and more inconsolable grief to him than such a discovery.
"Excuse me," said Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch, extremely surprised, "but you seem to look upon me as a sort of sun, and on yourself as an insect in comparison. I noticed that even from your letter in America."
"You... you know.... Oh, let us drop me altogether," Shatov broke off suddenly, "and if you can explain anything about yourself explain it.... Answer my question!" he repeated feverishly.
"With pleasure. You ask how I could get into such a den? After what I have told you, I"m bound to be frank with you to some extent on the subject. You see, strictly speaking, I don"t belong to the society at all, and I never have belonged to it, and I"ve much more right than you to leave them, because I never joined them. In fact, from the very beginning I told them that I was not one of them, and that if I"ve happened to help them it has simply been by accident as a man of leisure. I took some part in reorganising the society, on the new plan, but that was all. But now they"ve changed their views, and have made up their minds that it would be dangerous to let me go, and I believe I"m sentenced to death too."
"Oh, they do nothing but sentence to death, and all by means of sealed doc.u.ments, signed by three men and a half. And you think they"ve any power!"
"You"re partly right there and partly not," Stavrogin answered with the same indifference, almost listlessness. "There"s no doubt that there"s a great deal that"s fanciful about it, as there always is in such cases: a handful magnifies its size and significance. To my thinking, if you will have it, the only one is Pyotr Verhovensky, and it"s simply good-nature on his part to consider himself only an agent of the society. But the fundamental idea is no stupider than others of the sort. They are connected with the Internationale. They have succeeded in establishing agents in Russia, they have even hit on a rather original method, though it"s only theoretical, of course. As for their intentions here, the movements of our Russian organisation are something so obscure and almost always unexpected that really they might try anything among us. Note that Verhovensky is an obstinate man."
"He"s a bug, an ignoramus, a buffoon, who understands nothing in Russia!" cried Shatov spitefully.
"You know him very little. It"s quite true that none of them understand much about Russia, but not much less than you and I do. Besides, Verhovensky is an enthusiast."
"Verhovensky an enthusiast?"
"Oh, yes. There is a point when he ceases to be a buffoon and becomes a madman. I beg you to remember your own expression: "Do you know how powerful a single man may be?" Please don"t laugh about it, he"s quite capable of pulling a trigger. They are convinced that I am a spy too. As they don"t know how to do things themselves, they"re awfully fond of accusing people of being spies."
"But you"re not afraid, are you?"
"N-no. I"m not very much afraid.... But your case is quite different. I warned you that you might anyway keep it in mind. To my thinking there"s no reason to be offended in being threatened with danger by fools; their brains don"t affect the question. They"ve raised their hand against better men than you or me. It"s a quarter past eleven, though." He looked at his watch and got up from his chair. "I wanted to ask you one quite irrelevant question."
"For G.o.d"s sake!" cried Shatov, rising impulsively from his seat.
"I beg your pardon?" Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch looked at him inquiringly.
"Ask it, ask your question for G.o.d"s sake," Shatov repeated in indescribable excitement, "but on condition that I ask you a question too. I beseech you to allow me... I can"t... ask your question!"
Stavrogin waited a moment and then began. "I"ve heard that you have some influence on Marya Timofyevna, and that she was fond of seeing you and hearing you talk. Is that so?"
"Yes... she used to listen..." said Shatov, confused.
"Within a day or two I intend to make a public announcement of our marriage here in the town."
"Is that possible?" Shatov whispered, almost with horror.
"I don"t quite understand you. There"s no sort of difficulty about it, witnesses to the marriage are here. Everything took place in Petersburg, perfectly legally and smoothly, and if it has not been made known till now, it is simply because the witnesses, Kirillov, Pyotr Verhovensky, and Lebyadkin (whom I now have the pleasure of claiming as a brother-in-law) promised to hold their tongues."
"I don"t mean that... You speak so calmly... but good! Listen! You weren"t forced into that marriage, were you?"
"No, no one forced me into it." Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch smiled at Shatov"s importunate haste.
"And what"s that talk she keeps up about her baby?" Shatov interposed disconnectedly, with feverish haste.
"She talks about her baby? Bah! I didn"t know. It"s the first time I"ve heard of it. She never had a baby and couldn"t have had: Marya Timofyevna is a virgin."
"Ah! That"s just what I thought! Listen!"
"What"s the matter with you, Shatov?"
Shatov hid his face in his hands, turned away, but suddenly clutched Stavrogin by the shoulders.
"Do you know why, do you know why, anyway," he shouted, "why you did all this, and why you are resolved on such a punishment now!"
"Your question is clever and malignant, but I mean to surprise you too; I fancy I do know why I got married then, and why I am resolved on such a punishment now, as you express it."
"Let"s leave that... of that later. Put it off. Let"s talk of the chief thing, the chief thing. I"ve been waiting two years for you."
"Yes?"
"I"ve waited too long for you. I"ve been thinking of you incessantly. You are the only man who could move... I wrote to you about it from America."
"I remember your long letter very well."
"Too long to be read? No doubt; six sheets of notepaper. Don"t speak! Don"t speak! Tell me, can you spare me another ten minutes?... But now, this minute... I have waited for you too long."
"Certainly, half an hour if you like, but not more, if that will suit you."
"And on condition, too," Shatov put in wrathfully, "that you take a different tone. Do you hear? I demand when I ought to entreat. Do you understand what it means to demand when one ought to entreat?"
"I understand that in that way you lift yourself above all ordinary considerations for the sake of loftier aims," said Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch with a faint smile. "I see with regret, too, that you"re feverish."
"I beg you to treat me with respect, I insist on it!" shouted Shatov, "not my personality-I don"t care a hang for that, but something else, just for this once. While I am talking... we are two beings, and have come together in infinity... for the last time in the world. Drop your tone, and speak like a human being! Speak, if only for once in your life with the voice of a man. I say it not for my sake but for yours. Do you understand that you ought to forgive me that blow in the face if only because I gave you the opportunity of realising your immense power. ... Again you smile your disdainful, worldly smile! Oh, when will you understand me! Have done with being a sn.o.b! Understand that I insist on that. I insist on it, else I won"t speak, I"m not going to for anything!"
His excitement was approaching frenzy. Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch frowned and seemed to become more on his guard.
"Since I have remained another half-hour with you when time is so precious," he p.r.o.nounced earnestly and impressively, "you may rest a.s.sured that I mean to listen to you at least with interest... and I am convinced that I shall hear from you much that is new."
He sat down on a chair.