_Peggy_. If my husband can"t sell his work, I"m going back on the stage. I was an actress before I married.
_Schmidt_. All right, lady, I trust you. Good-bye, liddle boy.
_Bill, Will, and Peggy_. Good-bye, Mr. Schmidt! (_Schmidt exit._)
_Peggy_ (_turning to Will_). There now--off in your local color!
_Will_. How?
_Peggy_. Have you forgotten what you made Jack say about Mr.
Schmidt: a great hulking brute of a Dutchman, who has no thought of anything in the world but his cash-drawer!
_Will_. Well--I have to have a story!
_Peggy._ But you don"t have to have such a melancholy story!
_Will._ Yes I do!
_Peggy._ But why?
_Will._ Because that"s the sort of story I"m writing! Come along now. (_turns to papers. Bell rings again._) Oh, Lord!
_Peggy (opens door Left)._ What"s this?
_The Policeman._ Good-day, mum.
_Peggy and Will._ Why--good-day.
_Policeman._ I come to see yez, mum. Yez have a mattress on yer fire-escape, mum.
_Peggy._ Why--yes.
_Policeman._ It"s agin the law mum, and yez could be got into trooble. I got strict orders, mum--yez must have it in.
_Peggy._ Oh, very well. I didn"t know.
_Policeman_ Yez kin see how "tis, mum. If there"d be a fire--
_Peggy._ Oh, certainly, certainly. But you see, it"s the only place we have to put the little boy while we"re writing.
_Policeman._ Oh, is that so? Well, now, that"s too bad! Sure, mum----well, "tis on the back fire-escape the mattress is, an" I"d no business to be seein" it, had I? I"ll fergit that I seen it.
_Peggy._ Oh! Thank you.
_Policeman._ And how is the little b"y, mum?
_Peggy._ He"s pretty well, thank you.
_Policeman._ He"s a bit pale in the cheeks, I"m thinkin". Yez should have him over to the park a bit more. Well, good-day to yez, mum.
_Peggy, Bill and Will._ Good-day.
_Peggy._ There, Will! Off in your local color again. I"ll bet you the Policeman would have paid Jack"s bill himself!
_Will (irritably)._ Well, for G.o.d"s sake, Peggy, what sort of a story would you leave me? Have I got to write cheap cheer-up stuff?
_Peggy._ Now don"t be cross, dear.
_Will._ Well, I know--but----
_Peggy (embraces him)._ Poor dear! He"s working so hard and he does get cross with his critics. Hurry up, Bill, and get outside, or he"ll snap your head off! Quick! Fly!
_Bill (exit to fire-escape)._ Gee! I"m glad I ain"t writing a play!
_Peggy._ Now, come on. I"m interested in this. Where were we?
_Will._ The scene is in the restaurant. Schmidt is on----
_Peggy._ I thought he went off!
_Will._ Well, there"s no law to prevent his coming back, is there?
(_The Play-play begins to appear._) He"s grumbling because he thinks Jack will eat too much. (_Full light on Play-play. Peggy and Will make secret exit._)
_Schmidt._ I send him by Schnitzelman on der next block! I send him so soon as I find him eating double orders! He haf noddings to eat for two days und he comes by me to make it up! (_Sits at desk, and takes newspaper._)
_Bill (enters Center, hesitating)._ Say!
_Schmidt._ Vot?
_Bill._ Kin I git something to eat here?
_Schmidt._ You got any money?
_Bill._ Sure I got money.
_Schmidt._ Let me see it.
_Bill._ Hully gee! Before I eat?
_Schmidt._ You get noddings in my place till I see your money!
_Bill._ Gee! Since when is this? Here! _(Shows money.)_
_Schmidt._ A nickel? You don"t get much fer a nickel! _(Calls.)_ Hey, you! Vaiter! Vy, you don"t come for my customers?
_Jack (rushes in Left)._ Here! _(Sees Bill.)_ Oh, h.e.l.lo! It"s the kid!
_Bill._ Whatcher doin" here?