"Why didn"t you tell me when we were bidding each other good-bye, that you wouldn"t be able to see me this afternoon, instead of waiting to write?"
"Frankly and honestly," I said (for I had to say it), "just at the moment, and only for the moment, I forgot about the d.u.c.h.ess of Glasgow"s bazaar. That was because, after I decided to drop in at the bazaar, something happened which made it impossible for me to go. In my letter I begged you to let me see you to-morrow instead; and now I beg it again.
Do say "yes.""
"I"ll say yes on one condition--and gladly," she replied, with an odd, pale little smile, "that you tell me where you"re going this morning. I know it must seem horrid in me to ask, but--but--oh, Ivor, it _isn"t_ horrid, really. You wouldn"t think it horrid if you could understand."
"I"m going to Paris," I answered, beginning to feel as if I had a cold potato where my heart ought to be. "I am obliged to go, on business."
"You didn"t say anything about Paris in your letter this morning, when you told me you couldn"t come to the d.u.c.h.ess"s," said Di, looking like a beautiful, unhappy child, her eyes big and appealing, her mouth proud.
"You only mentioned "an urgent engagement which you"d forgotten.""
"I thought that would be enough to explain, in a hurry," I told her, lamely.
"So it was--so it would have been," she faltered, "if it hadn"t been for--what we said last night about--Paris. And then--I can"t explain to you, Ivor, any more than it seems you can to me. But I did hear you meant to go there, and--after our talk, I couldn"t believe it. I didn"t come to the station to find you; I came because I was perfectly sure I wouldn"t find you, and wanted to prove that I hadn"t found you.
Yet--you"re here."
"And, though I am here, you will trust me just the same," I said, as firmly as I could.
"Of course. I"ll trust you, if--"
"If what?"
"If you"ll tell me just one little, tiny thing: that you"re not going to see Maxine de Renzie."
"I may see her," I admitted.
"But--but at least, you"re not going on purpose?"
This drove me into a corner. Without being disloyal to the Foreign Secretary, I could not deny all personal desire to meet Maxine. Yet to what suspicion was I not laying myself open in confessing that I deliberately intended to see her, having sworn by all things a man does swear by when he wishes to please a girl, that I didn"t wish to see Maxine, and would not see Maxine?
"You said you"d trust me, Di," I reminded her. "For Heaven"s sake don"t break that promise."
"But--if you"re breaking a promise to me?"
"A promise?"
"Worse, then! Because I didn"t ask you to promise. I had too much faith in you for that. I believed you when you said you didn"t care for--anyone but me. I"ve told Lisa. It doesn"t matter our speaking like this before her. I asked you to wait for my promise for a little while, until I could be quite sure you didn"t think of Miss de Renzie as--some people fancied you did. If you wanted to see her, I said you must go, and you laughed at the idea. Yet the very next morning, by the first train, you start."
"Only because I am obliged to," I hazarded in spite of the Foreign Secretary and his precautions. But I was punished for my lack of them by making matters worse instead of better for myself.
"Obliged to!" she echoed. "Then there"s something you must settle with her, before you can be--free."
The guard was shutting the carriage doors. In another minute I should lose the train. And I must not lose the train. For her future and mine, as well as Maxine"s, I must not.
"Dearest," I said hurriedly, "I am free. There"s no question of freedom.
Yet I shall have to go. I hold you to your word. Trust me."
"Not if you go to her--this day of all days." The words were wrung from the poor child"s lips, I could see, by sheer anguish, and it was like death to me that I should have to cause her this anguish, instead of soothing it.
"You shall. You must," I commanded, rather than implored. "Good-bye, darling--precious one. I shall think of you every instant, and I shall come back to you to-morrow."
"You needn"t. You need never come to me again," she said, white lipped.
And the guard whistled, waving his green flag.
"Don"t dare to say such a cruel thing--a thing you don"t mean!" I cried, catching at the closed door of a first-cla.s.s compartment. As I did so, a little man inside jumped to the window and shouted, "Reserved! Don"t you see it"s reserved?" which explained the fact that the door seemed to be fastened.
I stepped back, my eyes falling on the label to which the man pointed, and would have tried the handle of the next carriage, had not two men rushed at the door as the train began to move, and dexterously opened it with a railway key. Their throwing themselves thus in my way would have lost me my last chance of catching the moving train, had I not dashed in after them. If I could choose, I would be the last man to obtrude myself where I was not wanted, but there was no time to choose; and I was thankful to get in anywhere, rather than break my word. Besides, my heart was too sore at leaving Diana as I had had to leave her, to care much for anything else. I had just sense enough to fight my way in, though the two men with the key (not the one who had occupied the compartment first), now yelled that it was reserved, and would have pushed me out if I hadn"t been too strong for them. I had a dim impression that, instead of joining with the newcomers, the first man, who would have kept the place to himself before their entrance, seemed willing to aid me against the others. They being once foisted upon him, he appeared to wish for my presence too, or else he merely desired to prevent me from being dashed onto the platform and perhaps killed, for he thrust out a hand and tried to pull me in.
At the same time a guard came along, protesting against the unseemly struggle, and the carriage door was slammed shut upon us all four.
When I got my balance, and was able to look out, the train had gone so far that Diana and Lisa had been swept away from my sight. It was like a bad omen; and the fear was cold upon me that I had lost my love for ever.
At that moment I suffered so atrociously that if it had not been too late, I fear I should have sacrificed Maxine and the Foreign Secretary and even the _Entente Cordiale_ (provided he had not been exaggerating) for Di"s sake, and love"s sake. But there was no going back now, even if I would. The train was already travelling almost at full speed, and there was nothing to do but resign myself to the inevitable, and hope for the best. Someone, it was clear, had tried to work mischief between Diana and me, and there were only too many chances that he had succeeded. Could it be Bob West, I asked myself, as I half-dazedly looked for a place to sit down among the litter of small luggage with which the first occupant of the carriage had strewn every seat. I knew that Bob was as much in love with Di as a man of his rather unintellectual, unimaginative type could be, and he hadn"t shown himself as friendly lately to me as he once had: still, I didn"t think he was the sort of fellow to trip up a rival in the race by a trick, even if he could possibly have found out that I was going to Paris this morning.
"Won"t you sit here, sir?" a voice broke into my thoughts, and I saw that the little man had cleared a place for me next his own, which was in a corner facing the engine. Thanking him absent-mindedly, I sat down, and began to observe my travelling companions for the first time.
So far, their faces had been mere blurs for me: but now it struck me that all three were rather peculiar; that is, peculiar when seen in a first-cla.s.s carriage.
The man who had reserved the compartment for himself, and who had removed a bundle of golf sticks from the seat to make room for me, did not look like a typical golfer, nor did he appear at all the sort of person who might be expected to reserve a whole compartment for himself.
He was small and thin, and weedy, with little blinking, pink-rimmed eyes of the kind which ought to have had white lashes instead of the spa.r.s.e, jet black ones that rimmed them. His forehead, though narrow, suggested shrewdness, as did the expression of those light coloured eyes of his, which were set close to the sharp, slightly up-turned nose. His hair was so black that it made his skin seem singularly pallid, though it was only sallow; and a mean, rabbit mouth worked nervously over two prominent teeth. Though his clothes were good, and new, they had the air of having been bought ready made; and in spite of his would-be "smart"
get up, the man (who might have been anywhere between thirty and thirty-eight) looked somewhat like an ex-groom, or bookmaker, masquerading as a "swell."
The two intruders who had violated the sanct.i.ty of the reserved compartment by means of their railway key were both bigger and more manly than he who had a right to it. One was dark, and probably Jewish, with a heavy beard and moustache, in the midst of which his sensual and cruel mouth pouted disagreeably red. The other was puffy and flushed, with a brick-coloured complexion deeply pitted by smallpox. They also were flashily dressed with "horsey" neckties and conspicuous scarf-pins.
As I glanced at the pair, they were talking together in a low voice, with an open newspaper held up between them; but the man who had helped me in against their will sat silent, staring out of the window and uneasily fingering his collar. Not one of the trio was, apparently, paying the slightest attention to me, now that I was seated; nevertheless I thought of the large, long letter-case which I carried in an inner breast pocket of my carefully b.u.t.toned coat. I would not attract attention to the contents of that pocket by touching it, to a.s.sure myself that it was safe, but I had done so just before meeting Di, and I felt certain that nothing could have happened to it since.
I folded my arms across my chest, glanced up to see where the cord of communication might be found in case of emergency; and then reflected that these men were not likely to be dangerous, since I had followed them into the compartment, not they me. This thought was rea.s.suring, as they were three to one if they combined against me, and the train was, unfortunately, not entirely a corridor train. Therefore, having a.s.sured myself that I was not among spies bent on having my life or the secret I carried, I forgot about my fellow-travellers, and fell into gloomy speculations as to my chances with Diana. I had been loving her, thinking of little else but her and my hopes of her, for many months now; but never had I realised what a miserable, empty world it would be for me without Di for my own, as I did now, when I had perhaps lost her.
Not that I would allow myself to think that I could not get her back. I would not think it. I would force her to believe in me, to trust me, even to repent her suspicions, though appearances were all against me, and Heaven knew how much or when I might be permitted to explain. I would not be a man if I took her at her word, and let her slip from me, no matter how many times that word were repeated; so I told myself over and over. Yet a voice inside me seemed to say that nothing could be as it had been; that I"d sacrificed my happiness to please a stranger, and to save a woman whom I had never really loved.
Di was so beautiful, so sweet, so used to being admired by men; there were so many who loved her, so many with a thousand times more to offer than I had or would ever have: how could I hope that she would go on caring for me, after what had happened to-day? I wondered. She hadn"t said in actual words last night that she would marry me, whereas this morning she had almost said she never would. I should have n.o.body to blame but myself if I came back to London to-morrow to find her engaged to Lord Robert West--a man who, as his brother has no children, might some day make her a d.u.c.h.ess.
"Sorry to have seemed rude just now, sir," said one of the two railway-key men, suddenly reminding me of his unnecessary existence.
"Hardly knew what I was about when I shoved you away from the door. Me and my friend was afraid of missing the train, so we pushed--instinct of self-preservation, I suppose," and he chuckled as if he had got off some witticism. "Anyhow, I apologise. Nothing intentional, "pon my word."
"Thanks. No apology is necessary," I replied as indifferently as I felt.
"That"s all right, then," finished the Jewish-faced man, who had spoken.
He turned to his companion, and the two resumed their conversation behind the newspaper: but I now became conscious that they occasionally glanced over the top at their neighbour or at me, as if their whole attention were not taken up with the news of the day.
Any interest they might feel in me, provided it had nothing to do with a certain pocket, they were welcome to: but the little man was apparently not of the same mind concerning himself. His nervously twitching hand on the upholstered seat-arm which separated his place from mine attracted my attention, which was then drawn up to his face. He was so sickly pale, under a kind of yellowish glaze spread over his complexion, that I thought he must be ill, perhaps suffering from train sickness, in anxious antic.i.p.ation of the horrors which might be in store for him on the boat. Presently he pulled out a red-bordered handkerchief, and un.o.btrusively wiped his forehead, under his checked travelling cap. When he had done this, I saw that his hair was left streaked with damp; and there was a faint, purplish stain on the handkerchief, observing which with evident dismay he stuffed the big square of coa.r.s.e cambric hastily into his pocket.
"The little beast must dye his hair," I thought contemptuously. "Perhaps he"s an albino, really. His eyes look like it."
With that, he threw a frightened glance at me, which caused me to turn away and spare him the humiliation of knowing that he was observed. But immediately after, he made an effort to pull himself together, picking up a book he had laid down to wipe his forehead and holding it so close to his nose that the printed page must have been a mere blur, unless he were very near-sighted. Thus he sat for some time; yet I felt that no look thrown by the other two was lost on him. He seemed to know each time one of them peered over the newspaper; and when at last the train slowed down by the Admiralty Pier all his nervousness returned. His small, thin hands, freckled on their backs, hovered over one piece of luggage after another, as if he could not decide how to pile the things together.
Naturally I had not brought my man with me on this errand, therefore I had let my suitcase go into the van, that I might have both hands free, and I had nothing to do when the train stopped but jump out and make for the boat. Nevertheless I lingered, folding up a newspaper, and tearing an article out of a magazine by way of excuse; for it was not my object to be caught in a crowd and hustled, perhaps, by some clever wretches who might be lying in wait for what I had in my pocket. It seemed impossible that anyone could have learned that I was playing messenger between the British Secretary for Foreign Affairs and Maxine de Renzie: still, the danger and difficulty of the apparently simple mission had been so strongly impressed on me that I did not intend to neglect any precaution.
I lingered therefore; and the Jewish-looking man with his heavy-faced friend lingered also, for some reason of their own. They had no luggage, except a small handbag each, but these they opened at the last minute to stuff in their newspapers, and apparently to review the other contents.