Dune smiled. "No, I think I"ve made a mistake in keeping so much alone.
It looks as though I thought myself so d.a.m.ned superior. But I a.s.sure you Carfax was--is--quite wrong. We"ve been friendly enough all our days."
"No," said Craven slowly, "I don"t think you do like him. I"ve watched you since. He"s an awfully good fellow---really---at heart, you know.
I do hope things are all right. I sent off a wire to his uncle in town half an hour ago to ask whether he were there. I don"t know why I"m so anxious. . . . It"s all right, of course, but I"m uneasy."
"Well, you"re quite wrong about my disliking Carfax," Olva went on. "And I think, altogether, it"s about time I came off my perch. For one thing I"m going to take up Rugger properly."
"Oh, but that"s splendid! Will you play against St. Martin"s to-morrow?
It will relieve Lawrence like anything if you will. They"ve got Cards, Worcester and Tundril, and they want a fourth Three badly. My word, Dune, that would be splendid. We"ll have you a Blue after all."
"A little late for that, I"m afraid."
"Not a bit of it. They keep on changing the Threes. Of course Cards is having a good shot at it, but he isn"t down against the Harlequins on Sat.u.r.day, and mighty sick he is about it." Craven got up to go. "Well, I must be moving. Perhaps Carfax is back in his rooms. There may be word of him anyway."
Olva"s pipe was out. The matchbox on the mantelpiece was empty. He felt in his pocket for the little silver box that he always carried. It was a box, with the Dune arms stamped upon it, that his father had given to him. He had it, he remembered, yesterday when he set out on his walk.
He felt in all his pockets. These were the clothes that he was wearing yesterday. Perhaps it was in his bedroom. He went in to look, and Craven meanwhile watched him from the door.
"What have you lost?"
"Nothing."
It was not in the bedroom. He felt in the overcoat that he had been wearing. It was not there.
"Nothing. It"s a matchbox of mine--must have dropped out of a pocket."
"Sorry. Daresay it will turn up. Well, see you later."
Craven vanished; then suddenly put his head in through the door.
"Oh, I say, Dune, come in to supper to-morrow night. Home I mean. My sister"s back from Dresden, and I"d like you to know her. I"m sure you"d get on."
"Thanks very much, I"d like to come." Olva stood in the centre of the room, his hands clenched, his face white. He must have dropped the box in the wood. He had it on his walk, he had lit his pipe. . . . Of course they would find it. Here then was the end. Now for the first time the horror of death came upon him, filing the room, turning it black, killing the fire, the colour. His body was frozen with horror--already his throat was choking, his eyes burning. The room swung slowly round him, turning, turning. "They shan"t take me. . . . They shan"t take me." His face was cruel, his mouth twisted. He saw the little silver box lying there, open, exposed, upon the gra.s.s, glittering against the dull green. He turned to the window with desperate, hunted eyes. Already he fancied that he heard their steps upon the stair. He stood, his body flung back, his hands pressing upon the table. "They shan"t take me.
. . . They shan"t take me." The door turned, slowly opened. It was Mrs.
Ridge with a duster. He gave a little sigh and rolled over, tumbling back against the chair, unconscious.
3
"There, sir, now I _do_ "ope as you"ll be all right. Too much book-work, _that"s_ what it is, but if a doctor----"
Olva was lying in his chair now, very pale, his eyes closed.
"No, thank you, Mrs. Ridge. It"s all right now, thank you--quite all right. Yes, I"m ready for lunch--very silly of me."
Mrs. Ridge departed to fetch the luncheon-dish from the College kitchens and to tell the porter Thompson all about it on the way. "Pore young gentleman, there "e was as you might say white as a sheet all of a "eap.
It gave me a turn _I_ can a.s.sure you, Mr. Thompson."
His lunch was untasted. It seemed to him that he had now lost all power of control. He could only face the inevitable fact of his approaching capture. The sudden discovery of the loss of the matchbox had clanged the facts about his ears with the discordant scream of closing gates.
He was captured, caught irretrievably, like a rat in a trap. He did not wish to be caught like a rat in a trap. This was a free world.
Air, light, colour were about him on every side. To die, fighting, on a hill-top, in a battle-field, that was one thing. To see them crowding into his room, to be dragged into a dark airless place, to be caught by the neck and throttled. . . .
Mrs. Ridge cleared away the lunch with much shaking of the head. Olva lay in his chair watching, with eyes that never closed nor stirred, the crackling golden fire. Beyond the window the world was of blue steel. He could fancy the still gleaming waters of the lake that stretched beyond the gra.s.s lawns; he could fancy the red brick of the buildings that clung like some frieze to the horizon. Along the stone courtyard rang the heavy football boots of men going to the Upper Fields. He could see their red and blue jerseys, their short blue trousers, their tight stockings--the healthy swing of their bodies as they tramped. Men would be going down to the river now--freshmen would be hearing reluctantly, some of them with tears, the coa.r.s.e and violent criticism of the Third Year men who were tabbing them. All the world was moving. He was surrounded, there in his silent room, with an amazing sense of life. He seemed to realize, for the first time, what it was that Cambridge was doing . . . all this physical life marching through the cold bright air, strength, poetry, the great stir and enthusiasm of the Young Blood of the world . . . and he, waiting for those steps on the stair, for those grim faces in the open door. The world left him alone. As the afternoon advanced, the tramp of the footballers was no longer heard, silence, bound by the shining frost of the beautiful day, lay about the grey buildings. Soon a melody of thrumming kettles would rise into the air, in every glowing room tea would be preparing, the glorious luxury of rest after stinging exercise would fill the courts with worship, unconsciously driven, skywards, to the Powers of Health. And then, after years of time, as it seemed, faintly through the closed windows at last came the single note of St. Martin"s bell. That meant that it was quarter to five. Almost unconsciously he rose, put on his cap and gown and pa.s.sed through the twilit streets that were stealing now into a dim glow under their misty lamps. The great chapel of St. Martin"s, planted like some couchant animal grey and mysterious against the blue of the evening sky, flung through its windows the light of its many candles.
He found a seat at the back of the dark high-hanging ante-chapel. He was alone there. Towards the inner chapel the white-robed choir moved softly; for a moment the curtains were drawn aside revealing the misty candle-light within; the white choir pa.s.sed through--the curtains Fell again, leaving Olva alone with the great golden trumpeting angels above the organ for his company.
Then great peace came upon him. Some one had taken his soul, softly, with gentle hands, and was caring for it. He was suddenly freed from responsibility, and as the soothing comfort stole about him he knew that now he had simply to wait to be shown what it was that he must do. This was not the strange indifference of yesterday, nor the physical strength of the morning . . . peace, such peace as he had never before known, had come to him. From the heart of the darkness up into the glowing beauty of the high roof the music rose. It was Wednesday afternoon and the voices were un accompanied. Soon the _Insanae et Vanae_ climbed in wave after wave of melody, was caught, held, lingered in the air, softly died again.
Olva was detached--he saw his body beaten, imprisoned, tortured, killed.
But he was not there. He was riding heaven in quest of G.o.d.
4
At the gates of his college the news met him. He had been waiting for it so long a time that now he had to act his horror. It seemed to him an old, old story--this tale of a murder in Sannet Wood.
Groups of men were waiting in the cloisters, waiting for the doors to open for "Hall." As Olva came towards the gates an undergraduate, white, breathless, brushed past him and burst into the quiet, murmuring groups.
"My G.o.d, have you heard?"
Olva pa.s.sed through the iron gates. The groups broke. He had the impression of many men standing back--black in the dim light--waiting, listening.
There was an instant"s silence. Then, the man"s voice breaking into a shrill scream, the news came tumbling out. It seemed to flash a sudden glare upon the blackness.
"It"s Carfax--Carfax--he"s been murdered."
The word was tossed, caught, flung against the stone pillars-- "Murdered! Murdered! Murdered!"
"They"ve just brought his body in now, found it in Sannet Wood this evening; a working man found it. Been there two days. His neck broken----"
The mysterious groups scattered into strange fantastic shapes. There was a pause and then a hundred voices began at once. Some one spoke to Olva and he answered; his voice low and stern. . . . On every side confusion.
But for himself, like steel armour encasing his body, was the strange calm--aloof, unmoved, dispa.s.sionate--that had come to him half an hour ago.
He was alone--like G.o.d.
CHAPTER IV
MARGARET CRAVEN
1
It is essential to the maintenance of the Cambridge spirit that there should be no melodrama. Into that placid and speculative air real life tumbles with a resounding shock and the many souls that have been building, these many years, with careful elaboration, walls of defence and protection find themselves suddenly naked and indecent before the world. For that army of men who use Cambridge as a gate to the world in front of them the pa.s.sage through the narrow streets is too swift to afford more in after life than a pleasant reminiscence. It is because Cambridge is the bridge between stern discipline and pleasant freedom that it is so happily remembered; but there are those who adopt Cambridge as their abiding home, and it is for these that real life is impossible.
Beneath these grey walls as the years pa.s.s slowly the illusions grow.
Closer and closer creep the walls of experience, softer and thicker are the garments worn to keep out the cold, gentler and gentler are the speculations born of a good old Port and a knowledge of the Greek language. About the High Tables voices softly dispute the turning of a phrase, eyes mildly salute the careful dishes of a wisely chosen cook, gentle patronage is bestowed upon the wild ruffian of the outer world.
Many bells ring, many fires are burning, many lamps are lit, many leaves of many books are turned--busily, busily hands are raising walls of self-defence; the world at first regretted, then patronized, is now forgotten . . . hush, he sleeps, his feet in slippers, his head upon the softest cushion, his hand still covering the broad page of his dictionary. . . . Nothing, not birth nor love, nor death must disturb his repose.