I"m sorry. The words hovered on her tongue for a single instant-automatic, a learned response-before she swallowed them, bitter and tasteless. She didn"t owe him an apology. She didn"t owe her late husband one, either, for that matter. These powerful men took what they wanted, without a thought for those they took them from. Which is why she didn"t want to marry again-especially not another Rahia. The words hovered on her tongue for a single instant-automatic, a learned response-before she swallowed them, bitter and tasteless. She didn"t owe him an apology. She didn"t owe her late husband one, either, for that matter. These powerful men took what they wanted, without a thought for those they took them from. Which is why she didn"t want to marry again-especially not another Rahia.
Her treacherous thoughts pounded in her brain like a headache. If he knew what she was thinking he"d...
Lani gathered her skirt and rushed for the door.
AJ stared after Lani as her gold dress disappeared through the carved archway. He hadn"t said anything to stop her, since he couldn"t think of what to say. He had no idea what to even think. If his mom knew they"d shared such a steamy kiss, she"d probably be over the moon. Or would she be scandalized that it had happened before the funeral feasts were even finished?
He blew out a hard blast of air. He"d expected her to squeal and slap him. To defend her virtue and hurl angry words in his face. To hate him.
Which was his intention. Then she wouldn"t want him to do his duty and marry her. He"d be off the hook.
Instead she"d seemed to...enjoy the kiss.
He shook his head, trying to shake loose a sensible thought. Maybe she"d faked it. As a royal wife-especially his brother"s wife-she must have had plenty of practice faking pleasure when she didn"t feel it.
Still...
The way her fingers had clawed at his back. How her mouth had opened to welcome his, her sweet breath hot on his tongue. He"d even heard a tiny moan, like the cry of a bird, newly uncaged, escape her throat before he came to his senses and pulled back.
His stiff suit barely hid the reaction she"d provoked in his body. His blood seemed ten degrees hotter and his fingertips p.r.i.c.kled with stray urges. Probably the urge to rip off that expensive gold dress and sink into the soft flesh beneath.
He hurled a curse. How could he think such a thing about his brother"s wife? He hadn"t wanted to come back here, and this was a perfect example of why. He lived a nice, sensible life in L.A.-well, by L.A. standards-where things like this just didn"t happen.
Still...he"d dated more than his fair share of women and he"d never been kissed like that before. Curiosity mingled with the l.u.s.t thickening in his blood. There was clearly a lot more to Lani Rahia than he"d expected.
That night, AJ sat three seats away from Lani at an official state banquet observing his brother"s pa.s.sing. Dressed in mourning blue, with an elaborate gold necklace that probably weighed more than she did, she looked every bit the royal widow.
Ears p.r.i.c.ked, he listened for her voice. She barely spoke, though, only offering polite morsels of conversation when necessary. When he glanced her way, her lips were pressed together, as if trying to keep something in-or perhaps, after this afternoon, to keep something out.
He attempted to hold up his end of the conversation with an elderly member of the royal guard who shamelessly checked international cricket scores on his phone in between courses. By the time dessert was served, AJ had resolved to corner Lani and ask her what happened this afternoon.
His plan was thwarted when Lani vanished halfway through the fish course. There was some commotion, and a footman went to help her to her room.
He turned to his mother, seated diagonally across the table. "What"s going on? Where"s Lani gone?"
She patted her lips with a napkin. "Not feeling well. Poor Lani"s taken Vanu"s death so badly. She"s been in and out of bed since he disappeared." She reached over and patted his arm. "I"m glad you care. She"s a sweet girl."
AJ cleared his throat. "I"m sure she is."
"Perhaps you could go look in on her after dinner." A thoughtful smile crossed her lips. "Just to see if she"s comfortable."
"I"ll do that." Had grief caused her unexpected response earlier? He shuddered with revulsion at the sudden idea that she"d mistake him for his dead brother. Did her disappearance from dinner have anything to do with their unexpectedly pa.s.sionate kiss?
Either way, he wanted to know more.
Lani slammed her bedroom door closed and leaned against it. Alone. It wasn"t easy to get even one minute by yourself in a royal palace. Nausea rose inside her like a wave, and she planted her feet on the floor to ride it out. Was it guilt that drove this sickness to surge and torment her day and night?
Or something else?
She listened for footsteps. No sound except the evening song of insects in the gardens outside. Now was the perfect time. Everyone in the palace was either eating at the banquet, or waiting on the diners. Even her mother-in-law, who hovered over her day and night, wouldn"t leave her guests until the meal was done.
Lani crept across the room and switched on the light in the adjoining bathroom. It gleamed with the rich gold-veined marble and the solid-gold taps Vanu had installed. He"d loved to luxuriate in the bath while she ma.s.saged the knotted sinews of his arms and back. It was still hard to believe he"d never glare at her from across the room and hurl an unreasonable demand again.
Guilt snaked through her. She shouldn"t think such thoughts about the dead. It was bad luck, if nothing else.
She crept into the small private changing room where she kept her personal items. Buried among the tampons she knew no one would disturb was a prize she"d gone to great lengths to obtain.
She held her breath as she fished inside the box and felt for the packet. Her fingers stung with fear as they rested on its plastic cover. She glanced over her shoulder before she pulled it out, then she ripped open the packet and reached for the printed instructions inside.
Another wave of nausea blurred her eyes and made her clutch at the nearby wall, fingernails sc.r.a.ping on the hard, carved stone. Then she drew a deep breath. Better get it over with.
Hold stick in stream of urine. Place on level surface for thirty seconds. Plus sign indicates a positive result. Minus sign indicates a negative result, she read from the package.
Stomach clenched and hands shaking, she followed the instructions, then paced the large bathroom while she waited for the results. How odd that she"d wanted a child so much when they first married. Dreamed of holding her son or daughter in her arms and lavis.h.i.+ng him or her with kisses and smiles.
Then when Vanu had revealed himself to be heartless, soulless, she"d prayed to remain empty so no child would have to grow up with a father like him.
It was easy; Vanu rarely touched her. If anything, he seemed repulsed by her body, by her very femininity. They hadn"t been intimate for at least two years until that last night, when she"d told him exactly what she thought of him, and he"d taken her by force.
Tears sprang to her eyes and she swiped at them with the back of her hand. The pink stick must have revealed its answer by now, but she didn"t dare look. If the result was negative, then she"d done her duty as a royal wife and could maybe even slide back into the realm of ordinary people. If not, she could be the mother of a future king, a duty that would bind her for the rest of her life.
At first it hadn"t occurred to her that she could be pregnant. Vanu had taken to berating her for her infertility and inability to produce an heir. He took pleasure in taunting her with this, even when conception was technically impossible because they never had s.e.x. She"d almost started to believe his lies.
When he went missing she suffered bouts of sickness. At first she"d a.s.sumed them to be guilt-related. If she hadn"t confronted him, he wouldn"t have stalked off into the night. She"d told no one she was responsible for his disappearance.
As the weeks went on, her illness had been accompanied by other disturbing symptoms-moodiness, sensitive nipples and a slight thickening at her waist. No one else had noticed, but she could no longer pa.s.s these things off as "guilt" and she knew for sure they weren"t from grief, as others might have suspected.
She grabbed the stick and pulled it close, willing herself to be strong. A tiny pink cross filled the circle on the handle.
She was pregnant-with Vanu"s child.
She sank against the wall, breath coming in shallow gasps. What now?
A loud knock on the door made her jump. She shoved the stick into a pile of towels and rubbed the tear tracks from her eyes. "Who is it?"
"AJ." His gruff voice penetrated the heavy wood.
"I"m, er, unwell."
"I know. That"s why I came."
"Thanks, but I"ll be fine."
"Let me in. Please. Just for a moment."
Lani hesitated. AJ might be a hard-partying Hollywood director, but he was also next in line to the Rahiian throne. She couldn"t ignore him.
She glanced in the mirror and attempted to compose the stricken face that greeted her. She slapped her cheeks to bring back some color, tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear then hurried to the door.
AJ tapped his foot on the polished stone tile outside the door. Lani probably didn"t want visitors if she wasn"t feeling well, especially him. Bad enough that he was supposedly her unwilling future husband, but the events of earlier made the situation even more awkward. If she"d slapped his face and told him to get lost, everything would be going smoothly, but now...
Still, he needed to see her or he"d never sleep tonight.
The door creaked open, revealing a tiny sliver of Lani"s famously beautiful face.
"Have you been crying?" The question burst from his lips. She shook her head, lips pressed together. "You"re allowed to, you know. You are recently widowed."
"I know." Already fresh tears sprang up behind her dark lashes. "Sorry, it"s just been such a busy week with all the ceremonies."
"You must be exhausted." Though that didn"t explain the kiss. "I came to apologize for kissing you out of the blue like that." He straightened his shoulders. Funny, he hadn"t come here to apologize, but the sight of her lovely face stained with tears had an uncomfortable effect on him. Even now, she was breathtaking, her long, golden brown hair streaming behind her shoulders and her lips soft and pink.
He cursed his physical reaction. Was this any way to behave with a grieving widow, even if you were supposed to marry her?
"I appreciate the apology." She almost whispered it. "I know that technically you have nothing to apologize for, since I"m supposed to marry you, but it took me by surprise."
"Took me by surprise, too." A smile tried to spread across his lips but he fought it back. "I wasn"t expecting such an enthusiastic response."
Her cheeks flushed. "I don"t know what happened. I"ve been through a lot lately. Too many emotions..." She trailed off, dropping her lashes to cover her eyes.
"And there I was taking it personally." He reached out and touched her arm, which wasn"t easy since the door was barely open a foot. "Listen, no hard feelings. I meant what I said about leaving, so you don"t have to worry about me trying to jump into Vanu"s bed. I think I actually wanted to get you angry at me. I regret that."
"No hard feelings."
"You really are a sweet Rahiian maiden."
"Sometimes I wonder." She glanced up at him, and for a second he thought he saw a twinkle of mischief in her eye. Desire snapped through him and he fought a sudden urge to lean in and kiss her again.
"Are you sick?" He struggled to remember the reason he"d supposedly come here. Maybe he"d unwittingly hoped for another intoxicating kiss.
"Not really." An odd expression flashed across her features-panic, almost. She glanced over his shoulder, as if expecting something frightening in the corridor. "I"ll be fine. I should get some sleep." She grasped the door with her fingers, ready to close it.
"Would you like something from the kitchens?" He wasn"t ready to leave yet.
She shook her head. "I"m not hungry. I ate most of the meal."
"A gla.s.s of wine, or something to help you unwind?"
Her eyes widened. "No, thanks."
"Do you want to talk? I know it"s rough sometimes being a member of the royal family. You have to be on your best behavior all the time and can"t let your hair down." He glanced at her impressive tresses. "And you have a lot of hair."
For a second she looked like she might smile-or even invite him in-then she glanced over his shoulder again.
This time he turned around to see if there really was anything to look at. Nothing but stars winking through the carved openings in the corridor wall.
"There"s no one here. We"re alone, though I"m not sure how much comfort that is to you." He smiled, trying to be rea.s.suring. He had a weird feeling that she did want to say something.
Her lips twitched in an agonizingly sensual motion, and she blinked rapidly. "It was nice of you to come check on me. I"ll be fine." Her tears had dried and her eyes shone again. Sad, but beautiful. "It"s been a long day." She tilted her head slightly and looked at him though her lashes. "And I apologize for my role in the kiss. I don"t know what came over me."
"No apology needed. And whatever came over you, it was rather lovely." He flashed a smile, then an odd feeling swept through him. Another powerful urge to kiss her. Her skin looked so soft, s.h.i.+ning in the lamplight, and he could smell her soft scent in the narrow s.p.a.ce of the doorway. Her dark gaze seemed to call to him: Help me.
His lips met hers, hard and fast, but this time she pulled back and slammed the door. The wood b.u.mped his forehead and sent him staggering back into the corridor, lips still buzzing from that lightning fast but incredibly powerful touch.
"Idiot." He said the word aloud and smacked his head. What was he thinking? Still, did she have to slam the door like that?
He glanced around, relieved the corridor was still empty. What was it about this woman that made him act so crazy?
Lani ran back into the bathroom, where she closed and locked the door. It had been the one safe place where she could hide from Vanu-discounting the many hours they spent safely in public s.p.a.ces-where she could lock the door and shut out his cruelty.
How odd-how awful-to now be hiding from his brother.
Or was she?
Her belly tingled with stray sensation-awareness of the swift touch of his fingers as he leaned in to kiss her. His lips had brushed hers for a split second, but seemed to have branded her with fire. If she hadn"t slammed the door so fast she"d have rushed into his arms.
Which meant that yes, she was hiding from him.
And she was hiding from her mother-in-law. She"d have to tell her about the pregnancy immediately, before it became any more obvious.
Just now she"d fought a strange, almost insane urge to tell AJ everything when he asked her if she wanted to talk. What wouldn"t she give to be able to confide in someone? To seek comfort in a pair of strong arms that wanted to soothe and comfort her rather than to hurt her.
Lani s.h.i.+vered. She"d been through so much in the past few years. Even though Vanu had rarely touched her, his tongue could bite hard as a lash. His brother was so different. Famous as a playboy, AJ seemed laid-back and warm, easy going and nonjudgmental. What would it be like to have a relations.h.i.+p with someone who genuinely liked people?
Not that she"d ever find out. Of course he wouldn"t stay. He had a life-a big, famous life-to get back to. Rahiri was a little speck of forested land in the middle of the wide Pacific to him. It wasn"t his home anymore.
For a split second she envied him his freedom. It must take some confidence to walk away from the royal family he"d been born into.
For the last few weeks she"d entertained thoughts of having a normal life, maybe even going back to New Jersey to visit her father and her two stepsisters who were now in high school. It would be fun to just, say, go to a mall and giggle over some shoes.
A long sigh slid from her mouth. After tonight"s news, that would never happen.
She reached down and pulled the stick out of its hiding place amongst the fresh towels. Yes, the little pink cross was still there, sealing her fate as the mother of the newest member of the royal Rahiian dynasty.
The next morning, after an almost completely sleepless night, Lani approached her mother-in-law at breakfast and asked if they could meet privately.
"Lani, you look terrible!" Priia Rahia took her daughter-in-law"s face in her hands. "We all loved Vanu, but you must take care of yourself. Eat some eggs, and some papaya." She loaded the ripe fruit onto Lani"s plate. "And of course I"ll talk to you." She gave a bright smile.