"There"s only one possible answer to that conundrum, and it doesn"t take any guessing," said I. "The reply would have been: "Cold "am or beef, sir; chops, if you choose to wait." Those words are probably now being spoken to some hundreds of sad travellers less fortunate than our favoured and sylvan selves."
"If you would like to have a chafing-dish in your family," remarked Jack, "you"ll have to marry an American girl."
"I"m no Duke," said I.
"Earls aren"t to be despised, if there are no Dukes handy," said Molly. "Besides, it"s getting a little obvious to marry a Duke."
"Which is the reason you took up with a chauffeur," retorted Jack.
"You call yourself a "penniless hearl,"" went on Molly, "and I suppose, of course, you are "belted." All earls are, in poetry and serials, which must be convenient when you"re _really_ very poor, because if you"re hungry, you can always take a reef in your belt, while mere plain men have no such resource. Have you got yours on now?"
"It"s in p.a.w.n," said I. "It"s no joke about being penniless. Jack will tell you I"m obliged to let my dear old house in Oxfordshire, and the only luxuries I can afford are a few horses and a few books. I prefer them to necessities--since I can"t have both."
I thought that Molly might laugh, but instead she looked abnormally grave. "Jack told me," she said, "how, when you and he came over to America, six or seven years ago, to shoot big game, you avoided girls, for fear people might suppose your alleged bear hunt was really an heiress hunt. I forgive Jack, because that was in the dark ages, before he knew there was a Me. But why should a girl be shunned by nice men solely because she"s an heiress? Can"t she be as pretty and lovable in herself as a poor girl?"
"She can," I replied, emphasising my words with a look in Molly"s face. "No doubt she often is. But I do wish some American girls who marry men from our side of the water wouldn"t let the papers advertise their weddings as "functions" (sounds like obscure workings of physical organs), attended by the families of their exclusive acquaintance, worth, when lumped together, a billion of dollars or so."
"I know. It"s as if they were prize pigs at a fair, and were of no importance except for their dollars," sighed Molly. "And then, the detectives to watch the presents! It"s disgusting. But some of our newspapers are like Mr. Hyde. Poor Dr. Jekyll can"t do anything with him; and anyhow, you needn"t think we"re all like that. I have a friend who is one of the greatest heiresses in America, but she hates her money. It has made her very unhappy, though she"s only twenty-one years old. If you could see Mercedes, with her lovely, strange sad face, and big, wistful eyes----"
"I can think of Mercedes only with a shiny grey body, upholstered crimson; and for eyes, huge acetylene lamps," I was rude enough to break in; for I fancied that I saw what Mistress Molly would fain be up to, and my heart was not of the rubber-ball description, to be caught in the rebound. If Molly cherished a secret intention of springing her peerless friend Mercedes upon me, during this tour which she had organised, it seemed better for everyone concerned that the hope should be nipped in the bud. It was with unwonted meekness that she yielded to being suppressed, and I suffered immediate pangs of remorse. To atone, I did my best to be agreeable. All the way to Southampton I praised automobiles in general and hers in particular; admitted that in half a day I had become half a convert; and soon I had the pleasure of believing that the divine Molly had forgotten my sin.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "SOMETIMES JACK DROVE, WITH MOLLY BESIDE HIM".]
CHAPTER III
My Lesson
"The broad road that stretches."
--R.L. STEVENSON.
Forty-eight hours later we drove out of Havre, bound for Paris and Lucerne, where I was to "pick up" that mule, and become a lone wanderer on the face of the earth. Gotteland had seen to the shipping of the car from Southampton, while we spent a day on the crowded sands of Trouville, where I was so lucky as to meet no one I knew.
It was only now, Winston said, that I should realise to the full the joys of motoring, impossible to taste under present conditions in England. Our way was to lie along the Seine to Paris, and Jack recalled to us Napoleon"s saying that "Paris, Rouen, and Havre form only one city, of which the Seine is the highway."
Last year, these two had seen the country of the Loire together, under curious and romantic conditions, and now Molly was to be shown another great river in France. We changed places in the car, like players in the old game of "stage coach." Sometimes Molly had the reins, and I the seat of honour by her side. Sometimes Jack drove, with Molly beside him, I in the tonneau; then I knew that they were perfectly happy, though Gotteland and I could hear every word they said, and their talk was generally of what we pa.s.sed by the way, occasionally interspersed by a "Do you remember?"
Now, if there is an insufferable companion under the sun, it is the average "well-informed person" who continually dins into your ears things you were born knowing. This I resent, for I flatter myself that I was born knowing a good many exceptionally interesting and exciting things which can"t be learned by studying history, geography, or even _t.i.t-Bits_. Jack Winston, however, though he has actually taken the trouble to house in his memory an enormous number of facts,--"those brute beasts of the language,"--has so tamed and idealised the creatures as to make them not only tolerable but attractive. I can even hear him tell things which I myself don"t know or have forgotten, without instantly wishing to throw a jug of water at his good-looking head; indeed, I egg him on and have been tempted to jot down an item of information on my shirt cuff, with a view of fixing it in my mind, and eventually getting it off as my own.
Whenever Molly or I admired any object, natural or artificial, it seemed that Jack knew all about it. She showed a flattering interest in everything he said, and, fired by her compliments, he suddenly exclaimed: "Look here, Molly, suppose we don"t hurry on, the way we"ve been planning to do? Last year we had that wonderful chain of feudal chateaux in Touraine, to show us what kingly and n.o.ble life was in dim old days. Now, all along the Seine and near it, we shall have some splendid churches instead of castles. We can hold a revel, almost an orgie, of magnificent ecclesiastical architecture if we like to spend the time. I"ve got Ferguson"s book and Parker"s, anyhow, and why shouldn"t we run off the beaten track----"
"No, dearest," said his wife gently, but firmly, and I could have hugged her. My b.u.mp of reverence for the Gothic in all its developments is creditably large, but in my present "lowness of mind,"
as Molly would say, a long procession of cold, majestic cathedrals would have reduced me to a limp pulp. "No," Molly went on, "I can"t help thinking that the churches would be a sort of anticlimax after our beloved, warm-blooded chateaux. It would be like being taken to see your great-grandmother"s grave when you"d been promised a matinee.
You know we engaged to get Lord Lane into his lonely fastnesses as soon as possible----"
"I don"t believe Monty"s in any hurry for them," said Jack, crestfallen. "You ask him if----"
"He"d be too polite to be truthful. No, I"m sure that edelweiss will do him more good than rose windows, and mountain air than incense."
As she thus prescribed for my symptoms, she gazed through her talc window with marked particularity into her "Lightning Conductor"s"
un-goggled face. It wore a puzzled expression at first, which suddenly brightened into comprehension. "Do they repent having brought me along, and want to get rid of me?" I asked myself. I could scarcely believe this. They were too kind and cordial; still, something in that look exchanged between them hinted at a secret which concerned me, and my curiosity was p.r.i.c.ked. Nevertheless, I was grateful to Molly, whatever her motive might be for hurrying on to Paris. Fond as I was of the two, their happy love, constantly though inadvertently displayed before my eyes, was not a panacea for the wound which they were trying to cure, and I still longed for high Alpine solitudes.
I had let myself drift into a gloomy thought-land, when it occurred to Jack that I had better learn to drive. No doubt the clear fellow fancied that I "wanted rousing" and certainly I got it. Luckily, as a small boy, I had taken an interest in mechanics, to the extent of various experiments actively disapproved of by my family, and the old fire was easily relit. I listened to his harangue in mere civility at first, then with a certain eagerness. Molly sat in the tonneau, Jack driving, full-petrol ahead, and I beside him. We talked motor talk, and he forgot the churches, except when they seemed actually to come out of their way to get in ours. I listened, and at the same time gathered impressions of roads--long, strange, curiously individual roads.
Someone has written of the "long, long Indian day." I should like to write of the long, long roads of France. They had never before had any place in my thoughts. Paris and the Riviera had been France for me till now. I had never been intimate, never even got on terms of real friendship with any country save my own; and I had sometimes been narrow enough to take a kind of pride in this. The sweet English country had yielded up her secrets to me; I knew her spring whimsies, her soft summer moods, her autumn dreams, her wintry tempers, and I had vaunted my faithfulness and love. But here was France in prime of summer, giving me of her best. My heart warmed to her loveliness, and I sniffed the perfume of her breath, mysteriously characteristic as the chosen perfume of some loved woman"s laces. It was glorious to spin on, on, between the rows of sentinel poplars, bound for the horizon, yet never reaching it, and regarding crowded haunts of men more as interruptions than as halting places.
Harfleur was a mere mirage to me, a vision of a gently decaying town left stranded by the stream of civilisation, flowing past to busy Havre. Some lines from "Henry the Fifth" made elusive music in my brain, mixed with a discussion of carburetters, explosion chambers, and sparking-plugs. At Lillebonne, Winston deigned to break short his string of motor technicalities and point out the position of the Roman theatre, almost the sole treasure of the sort possessed by Northern Europe. I stared through my goggles at the castle where the Conqueror unfolded to the a.s.sembled barons his scheme for invading England; and I begged for a slackening of speed at ancient Caudebec, which, with its quay and terrace overhanging the Seine, and its primly pruned elms, had such an air of happy peace that I wished to stamp it firmly in my memory. Such mental photographs are convenient when one courts sleep at night, and has grown weary of counting uncountable sheep jumping over a stile.
Beyond Caudebec we sailed along a road running high on the shoulder of the hill, with wide views over the serpentine writhings of the Seine.
Here, Jack urged a turning aside for St. Wandeville or, at least, for the abbey of Jumieges, poetic with memories of Agnes Sorel, whose heart lies in the keeping of the monks, though her body sleeps at Loches. But Molly would countenance no loitering. _Her_ body, she said, should sleep at Paris that night.
We held straight on, therefore, keeping to a road at the foot of white cliffs, sometimes near the river, sometimes leaving it. Quickly enough to please even this unaccountably impatient Molly, we had measured off the fifty miles separating Havre from Rouen, and slowed down for the venerable streets of the Norman capital.
"I suppose even you will want to give half an hour to the cathedral which I love best in France?" Jack inquired, looking back at Molly as he turned from the quay up the Rue Grand Port, and stopped in the mellow shade of an incomparable pile which towered above us.
Molly"s mushroom, however, was agitated in dissent. She has an American chin, and an American chin spells determination. We could not see it, but we knew that it meant business. "You and I will spend hours in the cathedral another time," she said. "But now--" She did not finish her sentence, nevertheless a look of comprehension again lighted up Jack"s face, which for the moment was innocent of goggles.
"Molly"s so keen on the Maid," said he, "that she can"t forgive Rouen for not really being the scene of the trial and burning. But never mind, since she wills it, we"ll shake the dust off our Michelins, and when we"re outside, you will have got far enough in your motoring lesson, I think, to try driving."
What the last hour had not taught me (thanks to him) in theory of coils and acc.u.mulators, electromagnets and other things, was scarcely worth learning. I seemed to have looked through gla.s.s walls into the cylinders, at the fussy little pistons working under control of the "governor,"--a tyrant, I felt sure. I had already formed a mature opinion on the question of mechanically operated inlet valves (which sounded disagreeably surgical), and was able to judge what their advantage ought to be over those of the old type worked by the suction of the piston. I could imagine that more than half the fun of owning a motor car would lie in understanding the thing inside and out; and I said so.
"It"s a little like controlling the elements," Jack answered. "Think of the difference in this machine, when it"s asleep--cold and quiet, an engine mounted on a frame, a tank of water, a reservoir of cheap spirit, a pump, a radiator, a magnet, some geared wheels fitting together, a lever or two. My man twists a handle. On the instant the machine leaps into frenzied life. The carburetter sprays its vapour into the explosion chamber, the magnet flashes its sparks to ignite it, the cooling water bathes the hot walls of the cylinders--a thing of nerves, and ganglions, and tireless muscles is panting eagerly at your service. You move this lever, you press your foot lightly on this pedal; the engine transfers its power to the wheels; you move. The carriage with you and your friends is borne at railway speed across continents. You can hurl yourself at sixty miles an hour along the great highroads, you can crawl like a worm through the traffic of cities."
By the time Jack had finished this harangue we had climbed the hill out of Rouen and were on the fine but _accidente_ highroad that leads past Boos and Pont St. Pierre. Soon we would reach Les Andelys and Chateau Gaillard. Still Jack was not quite ready to let me put my newly acquired knowledge into practice. There was a hill of some consequence before Mantes, which we had to reach by way of La Roche Guyon and Limay. After that there would be only what the route book calls "_fortes ondulations_"; and under the stronghold of Lion Heart himself (an appropriate spot, forsooth!), I was to try my hand at dragon-driving.
Winston brought the car to a standstill at the foot of the mouldering ruins of Richard"s "Saucy Castle," and as we looked up at the towering battlements, the huge flanking towers, and the ponderous citadel, the dark ma.s.s on its lofty rock set in the sunny landscape like a bloodstone in a gold ring, seemed to be an epitome in stone of life in the Middle Ages.
I uttered every idea that came into my mind concerning the ruin, and squeezed my brain for more, till my head felt like a drained orange; not that I enjoyed hearing myself talk, or thought that Jack and Molly would do so, but because they could not well interrupt the flow of my eloquence to remind me of the reason for our stop.
At last, however, silence fell upon us. It was a shock to me when Molly broke it. "Oh, Lord Lane, have you forgotten that this is where you"re to begin driving? The road is nice and broad here."
I put on a brave air, as does one at the dentist"s. "I hope that you"re not afraid I shall run you into a ditch?" I asked, laughing. "I don"t believe, after all, it can be any worse than steering a toboggan down a good run, or driving a four-in-hand with one"s eyes shut, as I did once for a wager on a road I knew as I knew my own hat."
"Perhaps it isn"t exactly _worse_," said Molly, "still--I think you"ll find it _different_."
I did.
Meanwhile, however, Winston was cheering me on. "You"ll find steering the simplest thing in the world, really," he a.s.sured me. "There"s no car so sensitive as this. The faster you go, the easier it is----"
"But, perhaps he"d better not try to prove _that_, just at first!"
cried Molly, with an affected little gasp.
"No, no; certainly he won"t, my child. He won"t go beyond a walk until he"s sure of himself and the car. You needn"t be frightened. I know my man, or I shouldn"t trust him with you and your Mercedes. Now, then, Monty, are you ready?"