Wary now, he shoved his hands in his pockets. What?
Promise me youll not do anything foolish on your own. That for once in your stubborn life youll seek advice from those who care for you before you do something that cant be undone.
Pellen meant well, but he didnt understand. How could he? He werent a mage. He couldnt feel the earth, he only walked on top of it.
Im wasting my breath, arent I? said Pellen, disappointed, falling back against his pillows. Youll do what you think is right, no matter what I or Dathne or anyone else might say.
Im sorry, Pellen.
Dont be. Youre the Innocent Mage. Its not my place to Not your place? he demanded. When its you who got Gar and Matt and Darran out of the City, away from Morg? The only reason we beat the b.a.s.t.a.r.d is cause of you. Breathing hard, he dragged a hand down his face. Not your place? Sink me, Pellen, you dare say that againandIllIll Youll what? said Pellen, smiling. There was an ominous rattle in his chest. Slap the dying man whos trying to save you?
And what could he say to that? Nowt. But even if hed had the words, tears were too close.
Forget I asked it, said Pellen. And promise me this, instead.
With a terrible effort, he made himself smile. Sink me twice. What now?
Leaning over, Pellen tugged open the drawer in his bedside table and pulled out a battered, dog-eared pack of playing cards. Dont summon a horselir to eat me when I thrash you at zephyr.
Pellen, Pellen. You be breakin my b.l.o.o.d.y heart. Fine. I wont summon a horselir, he said, and returned to the chair by the bed. But I aint about to promise I wont make it snow down your nightshirtif you beat me. Taking the cards, he began a swift shuffle. Cept you wont. So I reckon you be safe from snowfalls, for now.
Goose.
Amid the hustle and bustle of the expeditions final preparations, now that Barlsman Jaffee had said his prayers over them, Goose was taking a quiet moment, it seemed, to gather his thoughts. Was sat on an upturned bucket outside his horses stable round the back of Justice Hall, where Pintte and Badens collected group of adventurers milled and argued and jostled.
Goose, Rafel said again, when his friend didnt look up. Have you got a spare ticktock?
Theyd spoken once since that afternoon of ale-brewing, when hed told his friend hed travel with him over the mountains. Just once hed seen Goose, to break his promised word.
Goose lifted his head. Rafe.
They stared at each other, silent, as around them Fernel Pintte and Sarle Baden and the other eight as were leaving, four Olken and four Doranen, fetched bridles and saddles, double-checked saddlebags and backpacks. Rafel spared them a glance, and didnt recognise one of them. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets. There were too many folk here, with big ears and flapping lips.
Walk with me a little ways? Have you got time?
Goose shrugged. A minute or so. Cant walk far in a minute.
We can walk far enough, he said, and nodded to the tree-shadowed pathway leading to the lane that ran behind the Hall. If you want to.
Goose looked to where Fernel Pintte was in conversation with Sarle Baden. Not friends, those two, but joined in common cause. No more Doranen in Lur. Meister Mayor!
Pintte turned. When he saw whod come visiting, his face collapsed in a scowl. What?
Need to take a moment, said Goose. I wont go far. Wont be long.
And we wont wait for you if thats not the case, Pintte retorted. Rafel Rafel held up his hands. Aint come to cause trouble, Meister Mayor. Just need a word with Goose, here, before you go.
Fernel Pintte turned his back. So probly that meant he and Goose had their moment.
Goose seemed to think so, cause he pushed himself off the bucket and threaded his way through the chaos towards the pathway. Guts twisting, Rafel followed. Joined him in the dappling shadows, his mouth crowded with words.
Rafe, I aint mad at you, Goose said, patient. Not smiling. Ive told you that once already. So if youre here to say sorry, save your breath. To be honest, I never really thought youd come. I never thought your father would let you.
And that burned. Let me?
Goose rested a hand on his shoulder. Tightened his fingers and shook him, just a bit. Rafe, I swearsometimes youre thicker than a brick wall. He nearly got you killed in Westwailing. Did you truly think hed let you out of his sight so soon after? Trust you to Fernel Pintte and Sarle Baden, when he blames them for what happened there? Dont be daft. Even if he wasnt stone-blind certain the expeditions going to go bad, hed not risk you. And he is certain, isnt he?
Gooses kind forbearance was worse than anger. They were the same ageyet oddly, his friend seemed older, of a sudden. And he felt younger. Like the little brother being left behind.
It doesnt make him right.
Thats not the point, Rafe, said Goose, and let his hand drop. The point is he thinks hes right. And your fathers the most stubborn Olken in history. Did you know he came to see my dad? Tried to browbeat him into making me stay home?
He stared at his friend, horrified. Goose, I didnt know, I swear. I didnt ask him. Ive hardly said a word to him since He chewed at his lip. Goose, Im sorry.
Never mind. It doesnt matter, said Goose, frowning. Rafe, dont you be a fool. Dont you let this come between you and him. Once weve got the way cleared over the mountains, once weve made friends with whoever we find on the other side, therell be other expeditions. You and me can go next time.
He nearly said, If there is a next time. But that would sound mean, like he didnt believe hed see Goose again. And the last thing he wanted was to make his friend think he thought that. Only Maybe so, but this first expeditionll likely be dangerous, Goose. It aint right youre going alone.
Alone? Goose nodded at the increased bustle in Justice Halls rear courtyard. With that lot?
Goose Goose heaved a deep sigh. You know what your trouble is, Rafe? Ill tell you. You think just cause youve got a dash of Doranen magic in you that youre a bit better than everyone else.
That made him blink. What?
And you think I cant look after myself, said Goose, eyebrows lifted, challenging. You think that if youre not around to save me, Im as good as dead already. He smiled, friendly but pointed. Thats a mite insulting, yknow.
What?
Kindly meant, Goose added. But still insulting. You keep saying as how youre not a sprat any more. Well, that makes two of us, Rafe. I dont need a nursemaid and I dont need you to save me. Wanted your company, mind. This expedition wont be the same without you. But like I said. Theres always the next one.
Shaken silent, Rafel stared at him. Had Goose lost his mind? Or had he spent so much time with Fernel Pintte and Sarle Baden that hed got himself infected by their blind arrogance? Was this how Da felt, faced with a whole Council chamber full of men and women like Goose, whod let themselves be hoodwinked and bamboozled by hope and fear?
He swallowed. I dont think Im better than you, Goose. But I do know Im different. And the ways Im different? I know they save lives. Youre my best friend, you sinkin fool. I dont want nowt to happen to you!
It wont, said Goose. Then he pulled a face. Or if it does, theres nowt to say you could stop it. Besides, someones got to go. Lurs a boiling pot with the lid stuck on tight. Weve got to get the lid off. Or therell be brawling and worse between us and the Doranen and when it comes to worse we both know wholl win.
How could he fratch with that? Every word Goose spoke was true. But even so even so Sink me sideways, Goose, he said, and pulled his friend into a rib-cracking embrace. You better come back safe and sound.
I will, said Goose, pounding him between the shoulder blades. Im coming back safe and sound just so I can say I told you so.
In the courtyard behind them, the sounds of horses clopping out of their stables. Meister Martin! shouted Fernel Pintte. If youre coming with us, nows the time! Or stay behind and stuff your belly with regrets.
Goose let go, and stepped back. You talk to your father, Rafe. Youve only got one. And hes only got you. Well, Deenie too, but thats not the same. A mans son is his son.
Aye, he said, unwilling to trust his voice further.
Talk to him, Goose insisted. Or Ill kick your a.r.s.e black and blue when I come back.
Looks like youll be busy then. Saying I told you so. Kicking my a.r.s.e.
Goose grinned, a flash of his old self. Ill manage.
The bustle behind them was growing. They were out of timeout of timeGoose, he said, on impulse. About Deenie And Goose blushed. I know. I was going to say something and then He glanced away. Tell her to wait for me, Rafe? Tell her Meister Martin! shouted Pintte. Last warning!
Coming, Meister Mayor! Goose called back. Then he shrugged. Sorry, Rafe. Ive got to I know, he said, and stepped out of the way. Go.
A crowd of family and friends had gathered to bid the expedition a private goodbye, before it got swamped and swallowed by the hundreds of gawkers lining the streets from the Square to the City gates. Olken and Doranen, they wept and hugged and exchanged fervent farewells. Gooses da near picked his son up off the ground, holding on to him.
Standing in the shadows, Rafel watched as one by one the men hand-picked by Fernel Pintte and Sarle Baden extricated themselves from their well-wishers, climbed onto their horses and fell into orderly line. Sarle Baden first, then Fernel Pintte, then the other Doranen, then the Olken. Goose last. He was the youngest man by far. Of course theyd stick him on the end.
As Baden nudged his horse forward, leading the group out to the Square, Goose turned in his saddle. Smiled. Nodded. Rafel nodded back, a crushing pain in his chest. Then a wave of dread, of sick foreboding, washed over him. Threatened to suck him down to darkness like the whirlpool in Westwailing Harbour. And he knew he knew This is going to end badly. I wont see Goose again.
Heartsick, he spun round, searching the jostling well-wishers, looking to find Gooses da and make him go after his son, drag him off his horse and keep him safe at home. But Gooses da was swept up in the tide of clamouring families and the tide was pulling out, it was pouring after the expedition. The tail of Gooses skinny bay gelding disappeared through the archway, the sight of its rump swamped by heads and backs and waving arms.
Rafel tried to shout, but his voice was lost in everyone elses shouting. And then a huge roar went up from the crowd of Olken and Doranen in the Square. They mustve caught their first look at mounted Fernel Pintte and Sarle Baden and the rest, so jaunty and dauntless, ready to ride to the City gates. Ride to the Black Woods. Climb over Barls Mountains and horribly die.
Goose. Goose, dont go. Come back.
As the last well-wishing stragglers scurried to catch up, the Justice Hall grooms, pressed into service, went to fetch shovels and stable-forks so they could put the place to rights. But after the very last ignorant family member had pa.s.sed through the archway, still one person remained.
It was Da.
You talk to your father, Rafe, Goose said. Youve only got one. And hes only got you.
The bright sunlight showed him Das weary, careworn face. Showed him threads of grey hair. Showed him slumped shoulders and grieving eyes. Some of the awfulness that had swamped him faded. He stepped out of the shadows and walked to join him.
Whereve you been, then? he said, struggling to sound careless. As though theyd not been silently raging for days and days. You missed all the speechifying.
Da nodded. Borin, was it?
Course it was. I near b.l.o.o.d.y nodded off.
A tiny, tiny tug of smile. Where be your ma, and Deenie?
Aint sure, he said. I left them on the Chapel steps, being yapped at by Barlsman Jaffee. Charis was with them. Somehow, he managed a swift grin. Three women together? Like as not theyve gone shopping. Youll get back to the Tower tonight to find the treasury box empty.
Like as not, Da agreed. I were sittin with Pellen a bit. Let him beat me at cards.
Rafel snorted. You let the Citys best zephyr player beat you? Right, Da. Course you did.
Aye, well, said Da. He aint feelin too spry these days, is Pellen. Got to cheer him up somehow. He flicked a glance at the dawdling Justice Hall stable hands, who had no reason to rush about their work. I aint in the mood for watchin Pintte and them fools ride out the front gates. Walk back to the Tower with me.
Just like that, eh? Typical b.l.o.o.d.y Da. And what about Goose? That was his best friend heading off with Fernel Pintte. What if he wanted to wave him goodbye?
Cept I dont. Not again.
Goose aint a fool, yknow, he said, feeling his simmering temper rise. Hes trying to help Lur.
I know, said Da. Aint his fault hes been steered wrong, by his da and others. He be a good lad, Rafe. Im sorry.
Aye, but sorry for what? For treating me like a sprat? For making sure I couldnt go with him? For knowing I aint going to see him again? He didnt dare ask, just in case Right.
Come on, then, said Da, and started walking. Rafel stared after him for a moment, uncertain whether to go on being fratchedor to plump for feeling resigned. After a brief skirmish, he settled on resigned; hed been fratched at Da for weeks now, and all he felt was miserable.
And I did promise Mama Id make my peace.
They eased along alleys and through laneways, so the gawkers traipsing Doranas streets wouldnt know they were there. Halfway back to the Tower the crowd dribbled away and they risked the straight way home, up the High Street to the gates of the palace.
Da didnt say another word until they were safely in the palace grounds, surrounded by flowers and trees, well away from prying eyes and eager ears. Then he sighed, and seemed to relax a bit. Slowed his determined march to a stroll, breathing just a mite too heavy. What Rafel could see of his face was sweaty, and gloomed with dark thoughts.
Reckon I need to tell you somethin, Rafe, he said. But afore I do, you got to promise me you wont say nowt on it. Not to your ma, not to Deenie. Not to anyone. You promise?
They might be talking now, but he still felt inclined to snap. Whove I got to tell, Da? You warned me off Charis and Goose is riding out of the City andand he aint coming back.
Slowed almost to stopping, Da swung round. Why dyou say that?
Why? Instead of slowing, he stopped altogether. Fisted his hands on his hips and stared at his father, incredulous. Why dyou b.l.o.o.d.y think? Cause Im a mage just like you, Da, and I feel things. Why dyou b.l.o.o.d.y think I was so set on travelling with him? Why dyou think I never wanted him out of my sight?
And why dyou think, Da retorted, his voice husky, unsteady, I made b.l.o.o.d.y sure you stayed put?
So much for making his peace. Goose. He couldnt answer. Could barely breathe. Rage was a red mist smearing his vision.
Rafel, said Da, and took him hard by both shoulders. You think I dont know how you feel, sprat? I know. I spoke the words that killed my best friend.
Then how could you stop me? he said, his voice cracking. When you know Goose needs me, Da, how could you keep me here?
Cause I need you more! said Da, shaking him. I need you with me, Rafe, cause what I dont know is if I can stop whats comin. Not without you. Just like I couldnt save them fools in Westwailin without you. I be too hurt and worn out to do this alone. And there aint another mage in all Lur I can ask.
Ask to do what, Da? he said, retreating. Whats coming to Lur? Letting go, Da stared at him, so intent. You aint felt it?
No. Da, I dont know what youre talking about.
Thought you mightve felt it, Da muttered. And not said nowt cause you and me aint been talkin. What about Deenie? Has she felt it, and not told me or your ma?
Felt what, Da? What are you And then his throat closed. His heart, already thumping, thumped harder. Rattled his ribs. Are you saying its starting again? Like before? The storms? The tremors?
Worse than before, Rafe, said Da. Much worse.
How do you know? Have you felt something?
No, said Da, after a moment. Not yet. But its comin, Rafe. Trust me.
He didnt want to hear this. You could be wrong, Da. Things were bad ten years ago, werent they? And then they got better. I think theyre getting better again, right now. Its stopped raining andwhat? What?
Da was shaking his head. Almost laughing, but his eyes were terrible. Sink me, Rafe. The only reason Lur didnt rip itself to bits ten years ago is cause I nigh on killed mself, holdin it together.
You held it Suddenly cold, even in the unclouded sunshine, Rafel stared back at his father. Remembered something his mother had said, about the sacrifices Da had made. He felt small, a boy again. Looking to his father to make everything all right. But from the look on Das face How? The truth, Da. No more b.l.o.o.d.y secrets.