"I"m gay," he said.
"Lot of that going around," I said.
"Regina knows. Has always known," he said. "We care about each other very much, but our lives sometimes run in, ah, separate, though I think parallel, directions."
"And that works for you?"
"Yes," he said. "It does."
Regina nodded.
"Are you out?" I said.
He was silent for a long moment. Then he shook his head.
"No," he said.
"Would being outed do you harm?"
"I fear so," he said. "I am being considered as a candidate for the United States Senate."
"And you fear your gayness would rule you out?"
"Not simply that I am gay," he said, "but that Regina and I have lived separate s.e.xual lives . . . rather, I fear, vigorously."
"Nothing wrong with vigor," I said.
"You see my problem," he said. "If I am nominated, this Gary Eisenhower is like a loose cannon out there rolling around."
"Does he know?" I said.
"About me?" Clifford said. "No, but he knows about Regina, and when I run, he"ll see his big chance, and I"m afraid it will all come out."
"Ma.s.sachusetts has a pretty good history with gay issues," I said.
"I know," he said. "But it"s not just gay issues. My wife has slept with an a.s.sortment of men." He smiled faintly. "And so have I."
I nodded.
"Not a matter of one boyfriend," I said.
"No," Clifford said.
I looked at Regina. She shrugged.
"No," she said.
I nodded.
"Why did you join with the other women?" I said to Regina.
"I thought maybe it would work," she said. "That we could find someone to make him go away."
"Can you keep paying him?" I said.
"For a while," Clifford said. "But it is intolerable."
I nodded.
"You like your life?"
"Yes," he said. "We both do."
Regina nodded.
"I adore her," he said. "We share everything, except s.e.x. I hope to be with her all my life."
"Regina?" I said.
"I feel the same way," she said.
I leaned back in my chair. Pearl snored gently on the couch.
"Then fess up," I said.
"You mean tell everyone?" Regina said. "No! No, no, no!"
"Tell the truth," I said. "And you"ve taken away his every weapon."
"It would destroy my candidacy," Clifford said.
"Maybe," I said. "Say it did. You"d still have your life."
"No, Clifford," Regina said. "I won"t let you do this to us."
"Would you lose your income?" I said.
"I inherited a considerable estate from my father," he said.
"Essentially, I manage it."
"So your job is safe."
He smiled faintly again.
"Yes," he said.
I spread my hands and turned both palms up.
"The truth will set you free," I said.
"No," Regina said. "I won"t have you do this. We"ve wanted this for all of our marriage. You cannot give it up now that it"s so close."
I looked at him.
"She"s right," he said. "I can"t give it up. Not now. For both our sakes."
I didn"t say anything.
"Can"t you think of anything to do?" Regina said.
I looked at Pearl. She was asleep upside down with her feet draped over the back of the couch and her head hanging off. She appeared not to have thought of anything, either.
"Not yet," I said.
Chapter19.
I SEE IT ALL THE TIME in my patients," Susan said. "There is a way to save themselves and they won"t take it. Can"t take it."
We had a table by the window at Sorellina. Susan was sipping a martini, up with olives. I had a Dewar"s and soda. I was sipping, too. It was just that my sips were much bigger than Susan"s.
"h.e.l.l," I said. "If their fears are realized, he"ll lose the nomination anyway."
"It"s too bad," Susan said. "They seem to have achieved a life many people wish they could have. They have, apparently, a stable, loving relationship and s.e.x lives that fulfill them."
"So they say."
"You don"t believe them?" Susan said.
"I don"t believe them or not believe them," I said. "We"ll see."
"Well, say they are telling the truth," Susan said. "They"re together. They have enough money."
"Yep."
"The American dream," Susan said. "Or one version of it."
"Yep."
"But because it"s a variation on the traditional dream," Susan said, "this man has the power to destroy them."
"It"s a power they"ve given him," I said.
"What would you do?" Susan said.
"I"d call a press conference. Tell everybody everything, and if they didn"t like it they could vote for my opponent."
"But you wouldn"t run for political office anyway," Susan said.
" "If nominated I will not run. If elected I will not serve," " I said.
"Yes," she said.
"How about you?"
"Would I confess to save the life we have?"
"Um-hmm."
"Absolutely."
"And should we live separate s.e.xual lives?" I said.
"Do you want to?" Susan said.
"No."
"Me, either," Susan said.
"So let"s not," I said.
"Okay."
She picked up her menu. I had a large sip of my scotch, which emptied the gla.s.s. I asked our waiter for more.
"I been reading Gary Eisenhower"s folder," I said. "I got it from Quirk. He was blackmailing a woman named Clarice Richardson. They"d had an affair, same MO, pictures, audiotapes."
"Married with a rich husband?" Susan said.
"Married," I said. "But not to a rich man. She was the president of a small liberal-arts college in Hartland. I think it"s all women."
"Outside of Springfield?" Susan said.
"Yeah. She was afraid she"d lose her husband, for whom she cared. And her job, for which she cared."
"I think I"ll have the raw tuna," Susan said.
"But she didn"t have enough money to keep making her payments."
"So she went to the police?" Susan said.