The Promotion Record of A Crown Princess

The palace maid’s almond shaped eyes opened wide as she looked at me in surprise.

I really wanted to tell her: Little miss, you are still young. You don’t know that no matter what your job was, you have to curry favor with your boss. If you mess with his lover, then your end wouldn’t be far off.

Along the way, I kept thinking about how to gain a man’s favor.

If it was like before then it would be easy. I would only need to pat his shoulder and say:

“Brother, let’s go to a brothel!”

But I can’t say that now. Perhaps I could change the way I say it?

“Brother, let me take you to a brothel!”

No good, pa.s.s.

“Brother, let me go with you to a brothel!”

Also no good, pa.s.s.

“Brother, you go to a brothel alone!”

Nopeee, pa.s.s.

“Brother, you pay for me to go to a brothel!”

Pa.s.s, pa.s.s, pa.s.s.

For the first time ever, it’s difficult for me to go on good terms with a man. The sedan chair kept swinging along the way as I continued to worry. After a while, it stops at last. The palace maid lifted the curtain and extended her slender hand to help me up as she gently told me: “Your Highness, please be careful.”

Her hand is really pretty, but the nails are kind of long. Little miss, when you move around, do you scratch anyone? Well, some people might have such kinky tastes, that if you don’t scratch him hard enough, he wouldn’t be satisfied.

Stop! I shouldn’t think like that.

I turn around and tell the pretty palace maid: “When you get back, trim your nails. They’re too long and no good.”

She froze for a moment, as if she didn’t understand what I had said, only to keep her head down and slowly nod: “Understood.”

After the maid helped me get out, I saw that there were two men kneeling in front of Xing Sheng Palace. The left man wore bright yellow clothes – perhaps that was the puny Crown Prince.

I closed my eyes and tried to recall how women were supposed to walk before puffing out my chest, lifting up my b.u.t.t, and moving my waist as I took small steps toward them. When I got to the Crown Prince’s side, I intended to kneel with them, but after looking at the ground, I stopped. Did the servants have no eyes? They should have brought out some cushions.

I was pondering over whether or not I should ask the little miss to bring out a cushion when, suddenly, the Crown Prince turned to look at me. His gaze was cold and sharp, almost like it could throw out a series of sharpened knives. He opened his mouth, whispering: “f.u.c.k off.”

(T/N: it is more like cold way of saying, beat it, go away in angry tone)

Wow, no wonder he was a Crown Prince. Such short and concise language.

I looked down to my clothes and recalled the miscarriage. The act of “f.u.c.k off” had a high level of difficulty, so I attempted to negotiate with him: “Can I do something else? I don’t think I can ‘f.u.c.k off’ for too far.”

(T/N: In Chinese, f.u.c.k off or go away also has the meaning ‘to roll around’.)

The Crown Prince tried to say something, but nothing escaped from his mouth.

I think he agreed with me, so I moved two steps beside him, choosing a fairly clean spot, squatting down to blow off the dust before kneeling.

It was a habit from my previous life. My ex-girlfriend had been a germaphobe, and whenever my clothes had a stain, she would strip me down from top to bottom, just short of throwing me into the wash.

Ouch, my thoughts went off topic again.

I guess the kneeling was too much, because the little maid lost her head, beginning to cry as she knelt down beside me, begging: “Your Highness! Your Highness has to love yourself. The ground is too cold, your health won’t be able to stand it.”

“Get up,” I said.

The pretty maid couldn’t hear me clearly, merely looking at me, eyes br.i.m.m.i.n.g with tears, falling like raindrops on a pear blossom. Looking at it, it caused my heart to tremble.

“Get up,” I repeated.

The pretty maid finally got up while in a daze. Sigh, why didn’t she understand that if you wanted to curry for your boss’s favor, you would have to share joys and sorrows with him. Of course, when he is happy, he wouldn’t remember you, but when he is unhappy, he would try to see if you were also just as miserable.

I brushed the dust off of the maid’s dress. Wow, her legs are pretty straight and slender. It felt good to touch them.

Ah, my mind was wandering again.

The pretty maid must be quite surprised to see me doing this as she neither cried nor knelt and simply blanked out beside me.

When I stealthily shifted my body for the nth time, the doors to Xing Sheng Palace finally opened.

The servants carried Jiang Ying Yue, who was still wearing a white dress, outside. The Crown Prince and Zhao w.a.n.g stood up, rushing over to her.

“Ying Yue!” Zhao w.a.n.g cried out in anguish as he pushed the servants to the side and opened up his arms in order to embrace Jiang-shi.

The Crown Prince was a step slower, his arms stopped in midair before slowly returning to his sides, hands clenching into fists.

My legs are paralyzed from the kneeling, so I couldn’t stand by myself. The pretty maid had to help me up and I staggered a bit, causing my elbow to accidently hit the maid’s chest. I almost jumped up in fear of being discovered and sneakily peeked at the girl, but her expression remained unchanged. I breathed out a sigh of relief and felt regret at the same time. Tsk, I should have left my elbow there a little longer.

Zhao w.a.n.g carried Jiang-shi in his arms, who was still unconscious, and walked with great strides. Not even a greeting was said! Sighhh, this guy was not thorough enough – no prospects.

The Crown Prince was still standing there with his hands clenched. His lips tightened, eyes still glued on Jiang-shi. Well, as a male, I understood. Why would you like someone else’s wife!

I walked across the Crown Prince, and looking at him, I really wanted to give him a pat on the shoulder and console: “Brother, there are so many aromatic gra.s.ses under this sky. Why would you love a flower that grows in the middle of an ox’s droppings?”

I extended my hand out, but took it back half way and touched the pretty maid’s hand instead, which was holding my other hand. G.o.d, such a soft hand.

Ai, in the end, an SB is an SB. Even if you wrote it in capital letters, you still wouldn’t be able to change his nature.

Why bother!

The pretty maid carefully helped me back up on the sedan chair, which once again began swinging and carrying me back to the East Palace. Once I returned back inside, I found that there was something unusual about my clothes. While changing, I discovered that there was blood inside and suddenly recalled an advertis.e.m.e.nt on TV: Only a thin layer, a day is just like night; you can move around comfortably with no worries at all. Such a good product, I honestly admired it.

What a pity, I hate this ancient society.

Because of that, I understood the feelings of the Crown Prince’s back then at Xing Sheng Palace.

The feeling of wanting, but can’t have, is the worst.

From the moment we returned, the pretty maid’s eyes were teary, her gaze towards me filled with pity. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so while she was helping me bath, I began to say: “Don’t cry, I……”

I won’t do anything to you. Even if I had dark thoughts now, I don’t have the tool to use anymore!

When I had just spoken up to there, the pretty maid suddenly cried out loudly and while wiping her tears away, said in a voice choked with emotion: “Your Highness, Your Highness suffers so much.”

Hearing her say that, I felt so bitter that tears almost came out. This little pretty miss was truly my soul mate! I really suffer so much! A girl this pretty was treating me so earnestly, and yet I couldn’t do anything except drool. Was I not miserable?

Siming ah, Siming! The connection between you and I now has a large knot!

[E/N: Siming is the previously translated as Heavenly Lord of Life (司命)]

In the midst of this “suffering”, time flew by and it would be more than a month since I had arrived at this Eastern Palace. Before, every time I had been stuck while writing, I would usually use idioms and put more words into them. For example: Time is fleeting, years are like a song! Between the blink of an eye, time is just like that of a white steed flitting past, slipping away without even a shadow or a single sound left behind.

Then I would show it off for the teachers to see: My sentences don’t flow very well, but the word usage is pretty good!

Thinking back now, idioms are truly idioms – short and concise.

I remember, a great man used to say: Thirty-eight years pa.s.s in the snap of a finger. The 38 years of a great man is just like the snap of a finger’s worth of effort, let alone the 38 days of a mortal like me. I merely touch my two fingers together a bit, just looking on as I watch these 38 days slip past me in a moment.

Actually, although you can say that these 38 days are short, they aren’t that short. It was sufficient enough to allow me to become aware of many open and maybe obscure affairs.

For example: The current Emperor had a weak temper, so the late Emperor at the time wasn’t very fond of him. Only when someone had said the single phrase “good heavenly grandson” to Qi Sheng was he able to ascend the throne.

Yet another for example: Despite the fact that Qi Sheng was the Crown Prince, the Emperor loved the Ninth Prince Chu w.a.n.g the most. He tried to take away the t.i.tle of Crown Prince from Qi Sheng many times in order to replace him.

Again, for example: Zhang-shi’s paternal grandfather was once a very close bodyguard of Cheng Zu, the founding Emperor. After that, he went with Cheng Zu to Jiangbei and accomplished many victories. Zhang-shi’s father was currently the Minister of Defense and held control of the army.

Once more, for example: In the Eastern Palace, Huang Liang Yuan has the biggest b.r.e.a.s.t.s, Li Cheng Hui’s waist is the smallest, and Chen Liang Di had the prettiest face! But for what arouses a person’s soul the most, you would have to mention w.a.n.g Zhao Xun’s long, straight, and slender legs.

……

Naturally, thirty-eight days were enough to change a person’s manner of speech and bearing.

My speaking, which had been frank and straightforward, had changed so that it was now delicate and slow.

My manner of walking, which had been quick with long strides, had changed so that I now took small and weak steps, gentle like a willow branch in the breeze.

My way of sitting, which had been like a large horse and golden blade, had changed so that my state resembled that of a quail.

……

Ai, it is hard to explain with just a few short words. Even when I played Cuju with the maids, when the ball flew towards me, I had learned to not shield my crotch like before, but rather used my hands to cover my chest instead……

(E/N: Cuju is like ancient Chinese Soccer/Football)

Ai, it is truly a tragedy ah!