"It"s late," her mother said. "Too late for Penny to leave the house for supper."
Violet nodded as if that made perfect sense, which, of course, it did not. "Penny, would you like to come to our haus for supper and then spend the night?"
"You wouldn"t mind?" she asked. "I need to be at work in the morning."
"You can simply leave from our haus." Her lips curved up in a half smile that seemed to convey everything she was thinking but didn"t deem appropriate to share. "Which way is your room, Penny?"
"It"s down the hall. The door on the right."
Once Violet stepped inside her bedroom and closed the door behind her, Penny faced her parents. "What did you want to speak to me about?"
"You know. You must know," her father said around a glare.
"I"m sorry, but I"m not sure what, exactly, you are upset with me about."
"We don"t like that you"ve been gone so much, Penny," her mother murmured.
She knew they worried about her. She knew Lissy"s kidnapping and death had everything to do with their worry. But she also knew that her independence was a long time coming. Still, any retreat she made now would be closely guarded.
Therefore, she kept her answer short but respectful. "I do know that."
After a moment"s silence, her mother"s patience erupted. "That"s it? You don"t have anything else to say?"
"Mamm, what more can I say? I"ve taken a job. It has kept me busy."
"Not that busy." Pointing at the grains of sand still stuck to her toes, her mother said, "You went to the beach today."
"I did. I took one of the guests at the inn." As she said the words, she practically willed her body not to flush. She knew she was not telling the whole truth. However, she didn"t feel as if she had any choice.
"I think we all know that you chose to go. I think we all know that you wanted to go."
"You"re right. I did choose to go to the beach." Mentally she shook her head in wonder. When, exactly, had her parents decided that everything needed to be twisted and turned? They were speaking of Siesta Key like it was a den of iniquity! "Mamm, spending the day at the beach was fun. I"m glad I went! The sand was soft and silky, the water was beautiful, and everything smelled fresh and clean. I saw lots of people there who were at least six or eight years younger than me."
Her father harrumphed. "I don"t know what that has to do with anything."
"It has everything to do with everything." When he merely looked at her myopically, she attempted to explain. "It has everything to do with how I"m feeling. With how I"ve been feeling. For years."
He blanched. "Years?"
At last he was listening to her. "Daed, I was sad when Lissy died. I was scared, too."
"Don"t talk about your sister," Mamm blurted.
"I"m not," she retorted impatiently. "I"m talking about me." She stressed the last word, hoping against hope that something about what she was saying, something about her words this time would sink in. And that her dear father would notice her as a person instead of as a reminder of all they"d lost. "I was glad when we moved here. Glad when you and Mamm kept me close. But that was years ago. Time has moved on."
Her father folded his hands behind the back of his neatly tucked-in white cotton shirt. "The years pa.s.sed, but the dangers didn"t change."
"But I have. I"m not a scared twelve-year-old little girl anymore."
"So what? You"re going to ignore everything we taught you?" he asked. "You"re going to ignore everything we"ve done for your welfare?"
Penny pulled herself inward. He wasn"t hearing her. Yet again, nothing was going to change. But still, she decided to say her piece, if for no other reason than to know that she, at least, was making strides. "Father, I saw a lot of teenagers at Siesta Key."
"Well, sure-"
"Listen. Those teenagers weren"t at the beach with their parents, they were with their friends. They were having a gut time, simply enjoying a sunny day. And it was obvious that this wasn"t the first time, either. Daed, they were doing things that I should have been doing for years now. All I"m doing is catching up."
After looking awkwardly at her father, Mamm picked up a dishrag. "You never said you missed those things."
"That is because I knew you would be upset if I said anything. And I knew there was no way when I was sixteen or seventeen or even twenty that you would have let me go to Siesta Key alone."
Instead of commenting on that, he waved a hand toward Penny"s bedroom. "We"re not just talking about your sudden need to act like a teenager, Penny. You keep doing all sorts of strange things."
"Like what?"
"Like bringing Violet Kaufmann to our house."
Penny felt her cheeks heat with embarra.s.sment. She certainly hoped Violet hadn"t overheard that. "There"s not a thing wrong with Violet, and there isn"t a thing wrong with me inviting guests over. What is wrong is the fact that you are denying me meals if I don"t come home early enough."
"You have been receiving the consequences of your actions."
"Consequences of your choosing."
"Nee, daughter. You have been making the choices. Things don"t have to be this way."
"I"m starting to feel that the only way things will change is if I move out. Unfortunately, because I"ve hardly had any freedom, I have nowhere to go."
Her mother looked stricken. "Unfortunately?"
"Mamm, you must see how unfairly you"re treating me. I"m too old for this."
"Watch yourself, daughter."
Never before had she dared to verbalize her thoughts. But now, realizing that if she didn"t speak up in this moment nothing was ever going to change, Penny knew she had no choice. Suddenly, she felt so angry at herself for having lived in a fearful fog, so disappointed that her father wasn"t even trying to see her side of things, so betrayed that her mother simply glossed over everything that had been happening to her, that she lost her temper. At last. "Watch myself? Father, that is all I have been doing! Things need to change. I did not die. I am going to live my life and make friends and go to work and one day, with G.o.d"s help, find the right man and get married. Those are normal, right things that I should be doing."
"We never said you couldn"t marry," her mother interjected timidly.
"Mamm, all three of us know that even if I met the perfect man on Sunday at church it would not be all right. What you have to decide is whether you want me here at all. If you don"t, I"ll start looking around for a new place to live."
"You wouldn"t do that. You wouldn"t actually leave us, would you? After everything we"ve been through? Penny, I can"t lose another daughter."
And that was the problem, Penny realized. Her mother couldn"t differentiate between Penny growing up and moving forward and Lissy being kidnapped and killed when she was twelve.
In her mother"s mind, both girls were still leaving her.
And her mother was doing everything she could to bend Penny to her will. Even using manipulation and guilt.
"I never thought I would leave, but I"m afraid I will now. It"s time you both accepted me and accepted my future." Before they could answer, she turned and walked down the hall to her room.
Her hands were shaking and she knew her cheeks were flushed, too, but when she opened her door and saw Violet standing with tears in her eyes, Penny knew she"d made the right decision.
Sometimes, the hardest path to take was the only path worth walking on.
CHAPTER 16.
The next morning, Penny found herself sitting between Beverly and Tricia at the hospital. On the other side of Beverly sat Eric Wagler, who, as best as she could figure out, was kind of Penny"s boss, too. Neither he nor Miss Beverly seemed in any great hurry to actually explain their relationship, but it sure seemed to be a rocky one. From what Penny could discern, Eric owned the inn but Beverly ran it. Mr. Eric seemed all right with this. In fact, he seemed to take it in stride.
Miss Beverly, on the other hand, seemed far less comfortable with their relationship. Penny wasn"t sure if it was because they didn"t like each other much or if they simply didn"t know each other well.
Penny found the tension floating between them a bit odd.
But perhaps not any stranger than how the four of them had come to accompany Michael Knoxx to the hospital. Beverly had needed to go, of course, since she had been the one to whom Michael"s parents had entrusted his care.
Eric came because he was English and had a rental car.
Tricia came because even though she didn"t know Michael, she was Beverly"s niece and had said she felt strange staying back at the inn without her. But if Penny were being completely honest, it didn"t seem as if Tricia knew her aunt all that well, either.
Yet when Tricia, Beverly, and Eric had begun shuttling Michael out the door, Michael had stared at Penny in confusion.
"I need you to come as well."
"Michael, there"s no need," Beverly said gently. "Besides, I need her to stay for the rest of the guests."
"I think differently."
As Penny had looked on, embarra.s.sed by the situation and torn between listening to Michael"s request and following Miss Beverly"s wishes, Michael, for the very first time, had displayed his star power. "I"d like Penny to be there. And since I believe she was hired in part to help me, it makes perfect sense that I should get my way on this." Then, after launching that zinger, he raised one brow. "You don"t mind, do you, Pen?"
Penny didn"t think she minded. But then, she was discovering that when he called her Pen, she agreed to just about anything he asked of her. "I don"t mind," she said at last.
"Great." He"d smiled. "Now I"m ready."
Beverly sighed. "Let me go ask Sadie to come over for a few hours."
When they"d arrived at the hospital, Michael had signed himself in before being whisked away by a pair of nurses. An hour later, they were told he had been taken into surgery.
And two hours later, they were still waiting.
Penny was starting to get worried. Though she"d tried to find something of interest to do in the waiting room, the flashy magazines about English celebrities didn"t mean much to her. The same could be said for the shows on the television.
She got to her feet and started walking around, looking down the hall every couple of minutes and waiting for the doctor to come out and talk to them.
A moment later, Tricia joined her. "Do you mind if I wander around with you? I can"t sit in that chair for another minute."
"I don"t mind at all." Penny smiled softly at her, glad for the company but a little confused as to why Tricia had sought her out. Though they were about the same age, they seemed very different. She wasn"t sure what they could talk about.
However, it didn"t seem Tricia was of the same mind. "Are you Michael"s girlfriend?"
Penny was so fl.u.s.tered by the question, she blurted the first words on the tip of her tongue. "Definitely not!"
Tricia blinked. "Sorry. I, um, just thought you two seemed pretty close."
"We"re not." Still, it was tempting to imagine that she and Michael were close, that she meant something special to him. "As a matter of fact, I hardly know him." Though, that wasn"t really true. Not anymore.
Tricia didn"t seem put off by Penny"s outraged tone. Not at all. Actually, it seemed to only spur her curiosity. "But didn"t you go to the beach together yesterday?"
"We did." Penny rubbed the knot of tension that was forming at the base of her neck. She ached to share with Tricia that she was feeling close to Michael. That he was becoming important to her. Really important to her. But that would only be setting herself up for embarra.s.sment. A month from now, Michael would be gone and she"d have to face everyone knowing that she"d made a fool of herself over him.
"At first I thought you took him because Aunt Beverly asked you to. But then she told me it was your day off."
"Going to the beach wasn"t any big deal."
"It seemed like a big deal to him." With a smile, she added, "I went to his room with Aunt Beverly last night. He kept saying that it was the nicest day he"d had in some time."
Penny kept her eyes averted. "He really wanted to go to the beach. And I did go with him, but that was mainly because he needed someone to go with and he doesn"t know anyone else. I"ve been helping to take care of him, you see." Yes, that should be the spin on her obvious affection for him. She was spending time with Michael because she was so dedicated to her job.
"I get that, but I don"t know, Penny. He sure seems taken with you." She smiled again, showing Penny that she was being completely sincere. For some reason Tricia didn"t see that there was anything strange about the Michael Knoxx liking Penny Troyer in a special way.
"Well, he isn"t. He"s simply nice."
Tricia looked tempted to say more, but she simply shrugged. "You"re right. He is nice."
Yes, that was how she should think of him. A nice man. Because when he was healed and feeling better, he would leave and be off traveling again. Being everything everyone needed him to be.
Thinking about him on stage and about how, well, compelling he"d been, she realized that was exactly how she could make Tricia understand. "Have you ever seen him speak?"
"Nee. To be honest, I had only heard of the Knoxx Family and the message they preach in the most general terms. They visited Berlin a year or two ago, but no one in my family went to hear them speak."
"I heard them here. Michael was . . ." Her voice drifted as she struggled to find the right way to describe his charisma, and the way his talk had made her feel.
"He was mesmerizing," she finished.
Tricia grinned. "I bet. He does seem to have a way with words. And, well, he is terribly handsome."
He was the most handsome man Penny had ever seen. But reducing him to only his looks felt like a travesty. "Nee, it was more than that. He was speaking to over a hundred people, but the way he looked at the audience made each person feel as if he was having a private conversation with only them. It was meaningful and real."
"He talked about being trapped in the ravine, didn"t he? And about how he"s coped with losing a leg."
"He did. But it was more than that," she said. "He . . . He made me believe in miracles."
Tricia"s eyes widened. "Wow. I wish I had seen him. I would like to believe in miracles again."