""_Will_," Clodagh?" I cried. "You say "_will_"? there is not even the slightest shadow of a probability--!"
"But why? There are still three weeks before the start. They say..."
She stopped, she stopped.
"They say what?"
Her voice dropped:
"That Peter takes atropine."
Ah, I started then. She moved from the window, sat in a rocking-chair, and turned the leaves of a book, without reading. We were silent, she and I; I standing, looking at her, she drawing the thumb across the leaf-edges, and beginning again, contemplatively. Then she laughed dryly a little--a dry, mad laugh.
"Why did you start when I said that?" she asked, reading now at random.
"_I_! I did not start, Clodagh! What made you think that I started? I did not start! Who told you, Clodagh, that Peters takes atropine?"
"He is my nephew: I should know. But don"t look dumbfoundered in that absurd fashion: I have no intention of poisoning him in order to see you a multimillionaire, and a Peer of the Realm...."
"My dearest Clodagh!"
"I easily might, however. He will be here presently. He is bringing Mr.
Wilson for the evening." (Wilson was going as electrician of the expedition.)
"Clodagh." I said, "believe me, you jest in a manner which does not please me."
"Do I really?" she answered with that haughty, stiff half-turn of her throat: "then I must be more exquisite. But, thank Heaven, it is only a jest. Women are no longer admired for doing such things."
"Ha! ha! ha!--no--no longer admired, Clodagh! Oh, my good Lord! let us change this talk...."
But now she could talk of nothing else. She got from me that afternoon the history of all the Polar expeditions of late years, how far they reached, by what aids, and why they failed. Her eyes shone; she listened eagerly. Before this time, indeed, she had been interested in the _Boreal_, knew the details of her outfitting, and was acquainted with several members of the expedition. But now, suddenly, her mind seemed wholly possessed, my mention of Clark"s visit apparently setting her well a-burn with the Pole-fever.
The pa.s.sion of her kiss as I tore myself from her embrace that day I shall not forget. I went home with a pretty heavy heart.
The house of Dr. Peter Peters was three doors from mine, on the opposite side of the street. Toward one that night, his footman ran to knock me up with the news that Peters was very ill. I hurried to his bed-side, and knew by the first glance at his deliriums and his staring pupils that he was poisoned with atropine. Wilson, the electrician, who had pa.s.sed the evening with him at Clodagh"s in Hanover Square, was there.
"What on earth is the matter?" he said to me.
"Poisoned," I answered.
"Good G.o.d! what with?"
"Atropine."
"Good Heavens!"
"Don"t be frightened: I think he will recover."
"Is that certain?"
"Yes, I think--that is, if he leaves off taking the drug, Wilson."
"What! it is he who has poisoned himself?"
I hesitated, I hesitated. But I said:
"He is in the habit of taking atropine, Wilson."
Three hours I remained there, and, G.o.d knows, toiled hard for his life: and when I left him in the dark of the fore-day, my mind was at rest: he would recover.
I slept till 11 A.M., and then hurried over again to Peters. In the room were my two nurses, and Clodagh.
My beloved put her forefinger to her lips, whispering:
"Sh-h-h! he is asleep...."
She came closer to my ear, saying:
"I heard the news early. I am come to stay with him, till--the last...."
We looked at each other some time--eye to eye, steadily, she and I: but mine dropped before Clodagh"s. A word was on my mouth to say, but I said nothing.
The recovery of Peters was not so steady as I had expected. At the end of the first week he was still prostrate. It was then that I said to Clodagh:
"Clodagh, your presence at the bed-side here somehow does not please me.
It is so unnecessary."
"Unnecessary certainly," she replied: "but I always had a genius for nursing, and a pa.s.sion for watching the battles of the body. Since no one objects, why should you?"
"Ah!... I don"t know. This is a case that I dislike. I have half a mind to throw it to the devil."
"Then do so."
"And you, too--go home, go home, Clodagh!"
"But _why_?--if one does no harm. In these days of "the corruption of the upper cla.s.ses," and Roman decadence of everything, shouldn"t every innocent whim be encouraged by you upright ones who strive against the tide? Whims are the brakes of crimes: and this is mine. I find a sensuous pleasure, almost a sensual, in dabbling in delicate drugs--like Helen, for that matter, and Medea, and Calypso, and the great antique women, who were all excellent chymists. To study the human ship in a gale, and the slow drama of its foundering--isn"t that a quite thrilling distraction? And I want you to get into the habit at once of letting me have my little way----"
Now she touched my hair with a lofty playfulness that soothed me: but even then I looked upon the rumpled bed, and saw that the man there was really very sick.
I have still a nausea to write about it! Lucrezia Borgia in her own age may have been heroic: but Lucrezia in this late century! One could retch up the heart...
The man grew sick on that bed, I say. The second week pa.s.sed, and only ten days remained before the start of the expedition.
At the end of that second week, Wilson, the electrician, was one evening sitting by Peter"s bedside when I entered.
At the moment, Clodagh was about to administer a dose to Peters; but seeing me, she put down the medicine-gla.s.s on the night table, and came toward me; and as she came, I saw a sight which stabbed me: for Wilson took up the deposited medicine-gla.s.s, elevated it, looked at it, smelled into it: and he did it with a kind of hurried, light-fingered stealth; and he did it with an under-look, and a meaningness of expression which, I thought, proved mistrust....
Meantime, Clark came each day. He had himself a medical degree, and about this time I called him in professionally, together with Alleyne of Cavendish Square, to consultation over Peters. The patient lay in a semi-coma broken by pa.s.sionate vomitings, and his condition puzzled us all. I formally stated that he took atropine--had been originally poisoned by atropine: but we saw that his present symptoms were not atropine symptoms, but, it almost seemed, of some other vegetable poison, which we could not precisely name.