"Oh, Peter dear, I"m sorry! But--"
"You"re talking nonsense. Why, you"re barely twenty-one!" protested Hemingway. "Much water must flow under the bridge, Peter, before you can say of anything: it is final. You"ve got a long life ahead of you to--"
"Work in," finished Peter. "Yes, I know that. I have my chance to work. That is enough." At that his head went up.
Mrs. Hemingway puckered her brows. She leaned toward him, her eyes lighting up.
"Peter!" said she, mischievously, her cheek dimpling. "Peter, aren"t you rather leaving the Red Admiral out of your calculations?"
CHAPTER XII
"NOT BY BREAD ALONE"
Mrs. Peter Champneys drove away from the scene of her wedding, feeling as if boiling water had been poured over her. No man of all the men she had ever met had looked at her with just such an expression as she had encountered in Peter Champneys"s eyes, and the memory of it filled her with a rankling sense of injustice. He had married her for the same reason she had married him, hadn"t he? Then why should he think himself a whit better than she was? It seemed to her that all the unkindness, all the slights she had ever endured, had come to a head in Peter"s distressed and astonished glance.
Nancy had no illusions as to her own personal appearance, but it occurred to her that her bridegroom left considerable to be desired in that respect, himself. With his hatchet face and his outstanding ears and his big nose--why, he was as homely as that dried old priest in the gla.s.s case in the museum!--and him looking down on people every mite as good as he was! That was really the crux of the thing: Nancy had her own pride, and Peter had managed to trample upon it roughshod. She felt she could never forgive him, and her sense of injury included Chadwick Champneys as well. She hadn"t asked him to make his nephew marry her, had she? The suggestion had come from the Champneys, not from her. Yet it was plain to her that both these men considered her a very inferior person. She couldn"t understand them.
She liked the furnished apartment she and Mr. Champneys were to occupy until their house was ready, better than she had liked the hotel, though the j.a.panese butler, Hoichi, overawed her. She wasn"t used to j.a.panese butlers and she didn"t know exactly how to treat this suave, deft, silent yellow man who was so efficient and so ubiquitous. It was different where the maids were concerned; she who had been so lately an unpaid drudge was afraid these trained, clever servants might suspect her former state of servitude and she covered her fear with a manner so insupportable that Mr. Chadwick Champneys, who looked upon arrogant rudeness to social inferiors as a sort of eighth deadly sin, was presently forced to remonstrate.
"Nancy," he ventured one morning, "I have been observing your manner to the servants with--er--disapproval. A habitual lack of consideration is a serious deficiency. It is really a lack of breeding--and of heart. A lady"--he fixed his large dark eyes upon her--"is never impolite."
He touched her on the quick. She _knew_ these Champneys didn"t think she was a lady, but for this old man to come right out and say so to her face--"Say, I guess I know how to be a lady without you havin"
to tell me!"
"I am more than willing to be convinced," said the South Carolinian, pointedly.
At that, of a sudden, Nancy flared. She lifted a pair of sullen and mutinous eyes, and her lips quivered. He saw with surprise that she was trembling.
"Say, you look here--I done what you told me to do, didn"t I? I ain"t no more nor no less a lady than I was before I done it, am I?
What you pickin" on me for, then? What more you want?"
He sighed. Milly"s niece was distinctly difficult, to say the least.
How, he asked himself desperately, was one to make a dent in her appalling ignorance? She irritated him. And as is usual with people who do not understand, he took exactly the wrong course with her.
"I want you at least to try to live up to your position," he said with cold directness, beetling his brows at her. "I want you to do what you"re told--and to keep on doing it! Do you understand that?"
He felt that he was allowing himself to be more wrought up than was good for him, and this added to his annoyance.
She considered this, sullenly. "I"m not exackly straight in my mind what I understand and what I don"t understand, yet," she replied.
"But I got this much straight: If I done what I done to please you, I done it to please me, too!"
This was logical enough; it had even a note of common sense and justice. But her crude method of expressing it filled him with cold fury. The Champneys temper strained at the leash.
"Ah!" said he, a dark flush staining his face, "ah! Then get this straight, too: you"ll please me only _if_ you carry out your part of our contract. What! do you dream I would ruin my nephew"s life for a self-willed, undisciplined minx? Nothing could be farther from my thoughts! Nancy, _I_ made you Mrs. Peter Champneys: you will qualify for the position--or lose it!" He tapped his foot on the floor, and glared at her.
Nancy gave him glare for glare. "Yeah, you said it! You made me Mrs.
Peter Champneys, and all I got to do is to do what I don"t want to do, to hold down the job! What you askin" _him_ to do to please _me_? How"s _he_ qualifyin"? Is he so much I"m nothin"? Because that"s what he thinks! Oh, you needn"t talk! I guess I got eyes, at least!"
"I suggest that you use them to your own advantage, then," said he, disgustedly. "Let us have done with such squabbling! You agreed to obey. Very well, then, you will do so, or I shall take steps to put you outside of my calculations. In other words, I will wash my hands of you. Is that perfectly clear to you?" How else, he asked himself, was he to make her understand?
She saw that he was in a towering rage, and she reflected that if she had made Baxter that mad he"d have banged her with his fists.
For a long minute the two stared at each other. She was about to make a defiant reply and let come what might, when a sort of spasm distorted his face. His mouth opened gaspingly, his eyes rolled back in his head like a dying man"s. He seemed to crumple up, and she caught him as he fell. Her terrified shriek brought Hoichi, who took instant charge of the situation. He made the unconscious man comfortable on a divan, applied such restoratives as were at hand, and directed a frightened maid to telephone for physicians.
Nancy fled to her own room, and sat on the edge of her bed, frightened and subdued. That quarrel and its serious effect made a turning-point in her life, though she attached no blame to herself for the man"s illness. She had no love for him, but her heart was not callous to suffering, and his distorted and agonized face had terrified and shocked her.
The suddenness of the seizure made his words more impressive.
Suppose he died: what of her? She was not sure that any definite provision had as yet been made for her. What, then, should she do?
Suppose he recovered: what then? She had cause for serious thought.
All this luxury and ease, this pleasant life of plenty, in which she reveled with the deep delight of one quite unused to it, hung upon a contingency--the contingency of absolute obedience. She was not naturally supine, and her spirit rose against an unconditional self-surrender to a hot-tempered, imperious old man, who would mold her to his will, make her over to his own notions, quite as high-handedly as if she"d been a lump of putty and not a human being. Nancy tasted the bitterness of having no voice in the making of her own destiny.
Well, but suppose she defied him? He was quite capable of washing his hands of her, just as he had threatened. And then? Before that possibility Nancy recoiled. No. She couldn"t, she wouldn"t go back to that old life of squalid slavery--eating bad food, wearing wretched clothes, suffering all the sodden and sordid misery of the ignorant, abjectly poor, a suffering twice as poignant now that she knew better things. She knew poverty too well to have any illusions about it. The Baxter kitchen rose before her. Why! while she was sitting here now, in this luxurious room, back there they"d be getting ready for the noonday dinner. The close kitchen would be reeking with the odor of boiling potatoes and cabbage, from which a greasy steam would be arising, so that one saw things as through a hot mist. One of the children would be screaming, somewhere about the house, and Mrs. Baxter, in an unsavory wrapper, her face streaming with perspiration, her hair in sticky strands on her hot forehead, would be shrilly threatening personal chastis.e.m.e.nt: "You shut up, out there! Just you wait till I get this batch o" biscuits off my hands an" I bet I fix _you_! didn"t I say shut up?" The hateful voice seemed so close to Nancy"s ear that the girl shrank back, shivering with distaste.
She fingered the soft, fine stuff of the frock she was wearing. She stared about the room,--_her_ room, which she didn"t have to share with one of the Baxter children, who squirmed and kicked all night in summer, and pulled the bed-coverings off her in winter. She went over to her dressing-table and fingered its pretty accessories, sniffing with childish pleasure the delicately scented powder and cologne. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, and scowled.
Then she began to walk restlessly up and down the room. She had to think this thing out.
Why should she go, and leave the road clear for Peter Champneys? It occurred to her that, seen from his point of view, her elimination from the scene might be regarded somewhat in the light of providential interference in his behalf. She flushed. It wasn"t fair! The thought of Peter Champneys was gall and wormwood to her.
Nancy wasn"t a fool. Her honesty had a blunt directness, a sort of cave-woman frankness. In her, truthfulness was not so much a virtue as an energy. The hardness of her unloved life had bred a like hardness in her sense of values; she was distrustful and suspicious because she had never had occasion to be anything else. In that suspicion and distrustfulness had lain her safety. She had no sense of spiritual values as yet. Religion had meant going to church on Sundays when you had clean clothes in which to appear. Morals had meant being good, and to Nancy being good simply meant not being bad--and you couldn"t be bad, go wrong, if you never trusted any man. A girl that trusted none of "em could keep respectable. Nancy had seen girls who trusted men, in her time. Nothing like that for _her_! But she knew, also, the price the woman pays whether she trusts or distrusts, and the matrimony which at times rewarded the distrustful didn"t appear much more alluring than the potter"s field which waited for the credulous. Anyway you looked at it, what happened wasn"t pleasant. And it was worse yet when you knew there was something better and different. You had to pay a price to get that something better and different, of course. The fact that one pays for everything one gets was coming home to Nancy with increasing force; the problem, then, was to get your money"s worth.
She took her head in her hands, and tried to concentrate all her faculties. She wasn"t a shirker, and she realized that she must decide upon her course of conduct now and stick to it. If she didn"t look out for herself, who would? And presently she had reached the conclusion that when Mr. Peter Champneys reappeared upon the scene, he must find Mrs. Peter Champneys occupying the foreground, and occupying it creditably, too. She"d do it! When Mr. Chadwick Champneys recovered, she"d come to terms with him. She"d keep faith.
She spent three or four anxious days, while specialists came and went, and white-capped, starched, authoritative personages relieved each other in the sick-room, their answers to all queries being that the patient was doing quite as well as could be expected. At the end of the fifth day they admitted that the patient was recovering,--was, in fact, out of danger, though he wouldn"t leave his room for another week or ten days; and he wasn"t to be worried or disturbed about anything.
Satisfied, then, that he was on the highroad to recovery, and having made up her mind as to her own course of procedure, Nancy rather enjoyed these few days of comparative freedom. She supplied herself with a huge box of bonbons, "Junie"s Love Test" and "The Widowed Bride,"--books begun long ago, but wrested from her untimely by the ruthless Mrs. Baxter, on the score of takin" her time off: her rightful work for them that"d took her in, and fillin" her red head with the foolishest sort o" notions. She had had so much to do that to have nothing to do but lie around in a red silk kimona and nibble chocolates and read love stories, seemed to her the supreme height of felicity.
She reveled in these novels. They represented that something different toward which her untutored and stinted heart groped blindly. Otherwise her mind, by no means a poor one, lay fallow and untilled. The beauty and wonder of the world, the pity and terror of fate, the divine agony of love which sacrifices and endures, did not as yet exist for her. She merely sensed that there was something different, somewhere--maybe on the road ahead. And so she wept over the woes of star-crost lovers, and sentimentalized over husky heroes utterly unlike any male beings known to nature, and believed she didn"t believe that disinterested and unselfish love existed in the world. As she hadn"t the faintest gleam of self-knowledge, in all this she was perfectly sincere.
She did not see Mr. Champneys for two weeks or so. In his nervous condition he evinced a singular reluctance to have her come near him, although others saw him daily. For instance, Mr. Jason Vandervelde appeared at half after ten o"clock every morning during his client"s convalescence, was immediately admitted to Mr.
Champney"s room, and left it upon the stroke of eleven.
Nancy watched this man curiously. When he met her in the hall, he spoke to her in a nice, full-toned, modulated voice, exceedingly pleasing to the ear. His eyes were small but of a deep and bright blue, and although he was heavily built he wore his clothes so well that he gave the effect of strength rather than of clumsiness. He was clean-shaven and ruddy, and his large, well-shaped mouth was deeply curled at the corners. His hands were not fat and white, as one might expect, but tanned and muscular, and slightly hairy. His gla.s.ses gave him a certain precision, and his curled lips suggested irony. Nancy liked to look at him. He discomfited her understanding of men, for, she couldn"t tell why, she both liked and trusted him.
There was nothing romantic about him,--a well-fed, well-groomed lawyer-man in his late thirties, with a handsome wife in a handsome house,--yet he had the faculty of making her wonder about him, and wonder with kindness at that. She wished she knew just how much he knew about her, her early upbringing, her sad lack of education.
What had Mr. Champneys told him? Or had he really told him anything?
When her uncle finally overcame his reluctance and sent for her, she entered his room quietly and stood looking at him with an honest concern that was in her favor. She was always honest, he reflected.
There was nothing of the hypocrite or the coward in those wary gray-green eyes that always met one"s glance without flinching.
The change in his appearance shocked her. His eyes were hollow, his tall form looked meager and shrunken. He was growing to be an _old_ man. She said awkwardly:
"I"m real sorry you been so sick." And she made no attempt to apologize for her share in the quarrel that had led to his seizure.
She ignored it altogether, and for this he was grateful.
"Thank you. I am getting along nicely," he said civilly. And with a slightly impatient gesture he dismissed all further mention of illness. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, the better to collect his thoughts. He wished to make his wishes perfectly clear to her. But she surprised him by saying quietly: