"So I did, you poor b.o.o.b," retorted Herb. "My one regret here was that we didn"t have a sending set. Then I could have broadcasted some of those jokes, and everybody could have had the benefit of them free of charge."
"It would have to be free of charge," said Jimmy, cruelly. "You don"t suppose anybody would pay real money to hear that low brand of humor, do you?"
"Chances are they"d pay real money _not_ to hear them," put in Joe, before Herb could answer. "But I suppose if Herb ever started anything like that the Government would take away his license before he could do much harm."
"Never mind," said Herb resignedly. "You can knock all you want now, but when I get to be rich and famous, like Mark Twain, for instance, you"ll be sorry that you were so dumb that you couldn"t appreciate me sooner."
"Well, we won"t have to worry until you are rich and famous, and that probably won"t be for a year or two yet," said Bob. "But here we are at the station. They all look glad to see us. I"ll bet they were afraid we wouldn"t get here in time."
This was indeed the case, as was evidenced by much gesturing and waving of parasols and handkerchiefs by the feminine members of the party. They had heard the whistle of the train in the distance, and had firmly persuaded themselves that the boys would be delayed and lose the train. As it turned out, however, the boys had plenty of time, and were on the platform and waiting as the engine puffed into the station.
As the train pulled out, they all gazed back regretfully at the little village that had become so familiar to them. Many of the shops were closed and shuttered for the season, and the main street wore a deserted air.
However, as the train rounded a curve and the village was lost to view, they regained their usual spirits.
"It"s a wonder you boys didn"t miss the train altogether," said Agnes, Herb"s sister. "I don"t see why you didn"t hurry a little. We were on pins and needles all the time until you showed up."
"Aw, what"s the use of standing on an old station platform for an hour and spending your time wondering why the train doesn"t show up?" said Herb.
"We could have left the bungalows ten minutes later and still caught the train. I don"t enjoy riding on a train unless I"ve had to run to get it, anyway."
"If this train had been on time, you would have had a fast run to get it, I can tell you," said Amy, Agnes" younger sister. "It was about fifteen minutes late, and that"s the only reason you got it at all."
"Oh, we could run almost as fast as this train goes, anyway," boasted her brother. "And speaking of slow trains, that reminds me of a good story I read the other day."
"Oh, please tell us about it," said Agnes, with mock enthusiasm. "You know we always love to hear your jokes, brother dear."
Herb glanced suspiciously at her, but was too glad of an opportunity to tell his story to inquire into her sincerity.
"It seems there was a man traveling on a southern railroad----" he began, but Jimmy interrupted him.
"Which railroad?" he inquired.
"It doesn"t matter which railroad," said Herb, glaring at his friend. "It was a railroad, anyway, and a slow one, too. Well, this man was in a hurry, it seems, and kept fidgeting around and looking at his watch.
Finally the train stopped altogether, and a moment later the conductor came through the car.
""What"s the matter, Conductor?" asked the traveler.
""There"s a cow on the track," answered the conductor.
"Well, pretty soon the train started on again, but it hadn"t gone very far before it stopped once more. "Say, Conductor, why in blazes have we stopped again?" asked the traveler. "Seems to me this is the slowest train I ever rode on."
""It can"t be helped, sir," answered the conductor. "We"ve caught up with that pesky cow again.""
They all laughed at this anecdote, which pleased Herb immensely.
"I know lots more, any time you want to hear them," he ventured, hopefully.
"Better not take a chance on spoiling that one, Herb," advised Joe. "That was unusually good for you, I must admit."
"Herb"s jokes wouldn"t be so bad if he"d stick to regular ones," said Bob.
"It"s only when he starts making them up himself that they get so terrible."
"Yes, and just think of his poor sisters," sighed Agnes. "In the summer it isn"t quite so bad, because he"s out of the house most of the time, but in winter it"s simply terrible."
"Well, this winter I won"t have much time to waste on you and Amy, trying to develop a sense of humor in you," said Herb. "I"m going to build a radio set of my own that will be a cuckoo."
"Hurrah for you!" exclaimed Bob. "That"s a better way to spend your time, and what a relief it will be for all of us."
"I suppose you think you"re kidding me, but you"re not," said Herbert.
"I"ll make a set this winter that will make you amateurs turn green with envy. You see if I don"t!"
"It will be fine if you do," said Bob. "There"s no reason why you shouldn"t if you really want to."
The time pa.s.sed quickly, and before they realized it they heard the conductor call the name of their own town.
"Goodness gracious!" exclaimed Agnes, "are we really there so soon? And I haven"t got any of my things together yet!"
There was great bustle and confusion for a few moments, and then the whole party found themselves on the familiar platform of the Clintonia station.
Several taxicabs were requisitioned, and they were all whisked away to their respective homes, after the radio boys had agreed to meet at Bob"s house that evening.
CHAPTER VI
RADIO"S LONG ARM
"Well, fellows," said Bob, when they were together that evening, according to agreement, "this is the last evening we"ll have without lessons for some time to come, so we"d better make the most of it."
"Don"t mention lessons, Bob," implored Jimmy. "Oh, my, how I hate "em!"
and he groaned dismally.
"You"ll soon be doing them, old timer, whether you like them or not," said Joe. "It"s going to be a tough term for me, too. I"ll be taking up geometry this term, and they say that"s no cinch."
"Nothing"s a cinch for me, worse luck," said Jimmy, dolefully. "Everything I do seems to be hard work for me."
"That"s tough luck, too," said Bob, gravely, "because you hate work so much, Doughnuts."
"There isn"t anybody in the world hates it more," confessed Jimmy, shamelessly. "But that"s all the good it ever does me. Why wasn"t I born rich instead of good looking?"
"Give it up," said Bob. "You"ll have to ask me easier ones than that, Jimmy, if you expect to get an answer. But as far as I can see, people that are rich don"t seem to be especially happy, anyway. Look at old Abubus Boggs. He"s probably the richest man in Clintonia, but n.o.body ever accused him of being happy."
"I should say not!" exclaimed Joe. "He goes around looking as though he had just bitten into an especially sour lemon. Everybody hates him, and I don"t suppose that makes any one happy."
"Maybe that does make old Abubus happy, there"s no telling," said Jimmy, reflectively. "But I know I wouldn"t change places for all his money."
"There you are!" exclaimed Bob, triumphantly. "You don"t realize how well off you are, Doughnuts."